A story. And an apology.

The first photo is me at that oh-so-special Antelope Wells sign at the end of the 2024 Tour Divide. The second is me just weeks later after hitting the sharp end of a guard rail, neck first, at 20mph. A guard rail that cut clean through my trachea, esophagus and larynx. A crash that left me in critical condition, with not just those injuries, but broken vertebrae and ribs. A crash that tore my chin off my face.

One thing bikepacking has taught me is that no matter how hard things seem, no matter how far away the place you are going is, and no matter how slow you are moving you just need to keep turning the pedals over. Do that enough times and eventually you can get anywhere. That mindset, which I learned on the trail, is exactly what got me through on the darkest days of my recovery. When the finish line seemed too far away. When I was re-learning how to eat. Re-learning how to talk and how to breathe without tubes running into my neck. Learning how to move again.

Finding love and support in the my community helped a lot too. Bikepacking has that. It’s one of the greatest kind and loving communities I’ve ever been a part of. I’m thankful for that every day.

Lying in those hospital beds, not being able to do anything, missing the sport I loved and wondering if I’d ever get on a bike again, I kept thinking about how to give back. The one thing I could do was type on a laptop. I also knew how to code. So I came up with an idea for something that solved a problem I kept having out on long adventures. I worked on that for months while I recovered. It gave me something to do. Made me feel connected.

Since I wasn’t able to ride and test I shared a prototype with the Tour Divide group on Facebook a couple days before the 2025 race. I wondered if it actually helped. Was it any good or was I out to lunch? I wondered if anyone would appreciate the little tiny thing I could still do. Since I couldn’t try it myself I had no idea, but I was hopeful. Hope gets you through. I was happy to find a couple dozen riders jumped at the opportunity. Between them it was used thousands of times over the next 2-3 weeks. That was a huge surprise! And unknown to me, some of those faceless internet people were at the front of the pack, and eventually winners.

This brings me to my apology. I am not really a “social media” person. I’d much rather be out someplace on an adventure. Or if I’m inside, with my nose in a book. Earlier today I posted here wanting to share this little thing and give it away to anyone who thought it might help. One of my first social posts ever (and I’m 50!). Unfortunately, I didn’t read the room and this made a lot of people irate. I’m sorry about that. Really.

So now I am sharing my story instead. I hope there is a nugget of inspiration in there someplace. When times are tough for you, no matter if it is on the trail, or in the rest of your life, keep on pedaling. Don’t give up. One pedal stroke at a time and you can go places.

To anyone who made it this far. Be kind. Give back. Be careful out there! And most of all, keep pedaling!

Much love.