Growing up with strict Bosnian parents in America isn’t easy. In this video, I talk about what it’s like being raised in a traditional Bosnian household — from harsh discipline to emotional silence, fear of failure, and the pressure of “šta će narod reći.” If you’re a first-generation Bosnian-American or come from a strict immigrant family, you’ll relate to the control, cultural expectations, and mental health challenges we face. Is it love or control? Respect or fear? Let’s break the cycle. Watch now and join the conversation about strict parenting, Balkan culture, and growing up between two worlds.
#BosnianAmerican #StrictParents #ImmigrantParenting #BalkanCulture #MentalHealthAwareness #FirstGenStruggles #BosnianLife #ImmigrantLife #CultureShock #ParentingStyles #BalkanParents #america #confidence #lifestyle #europe #english #usa #american
Liked this video? Smash that like button and subscribe to the channel.
Growing up in a Basian household in America feels like living in two different worlds. Guys, welcome back to the channel. I haven’t posted in a couple days, but hey, here we are. We’re back. We’re going to be better than ever. And now, let’s get into this video. So, in this video, we’ll be talking about things like mental health, cultural clashes, and strict parenting. Obviously, when you grow up here in America as a young kid, uh you’re met with expectations from your parents and then you live a completely different life outside of the house. Whether it be, you know, uh you’re going to school, you know, whether it be you’re hanging out with your friends, um you know, experiencing different culture in day-to-day life, uh especially, you know, when kids go to school, they experience different cultures, different uh mannerisms, and you know, that also affects kids. um that are growing up in today’s day and age and even when I was growing up, you know, you you live in a different completely different life. So I think that many Bosian parents come from a life of struggle and fear and that in turn creates discipline which helps create survival. Why does it create survival when you come to a new country? Well, because you don’t know the language, you don’t know the environment and you don’t know what you’re where to start from essentially. So, that really puts some strain maybe on the kids as you’re raising them. Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty of this video. The reputation, the community, and how others see you, depending on the way that your parents raise you. So, obviously, I think that parents, you know, raise you more for how others see you than for your individual growth. Um, you know, there’s always, uh, things that people hide about themselves. uh people, you know, put on good poker faces and that, you know, that shows in uh other households uh when you meet them outside of their house. So, let me give you guys an example. You want to dress a certain way. For example, let’s say you want to wear, you know, all red with Jordans, right? Um Bosn parents are super against like wearing colorful clothing. They’re more just, you know, conservative dressing. Um, and then let’s say you want to speak your mind outside of the house to someone else, you know, to a friend, to a stranger, whoever it may be, Bosian parents, again, they will that is like frowned upon in the in the culture and in the community because um it makes you look bad and not that it’s wrong again, it just makes you look bad and it makes your parents look bad. And they’ll say, you know, the parents might think uh that they’re getting judged by other people, which is a big no no. And that’s why they want to keep their reputation as good as possible with the Bosing community and with other people alike. Me personally, I think our worth was measured by how well we performed in the outside world. And that could be, you know, getting good grades in school, getting straight A’s, you know, getting a straight A’s with a with a B. You know, maybe that’s frowned upon in some uh Bosian families. It’s got to be straight A’s. Or maybe you did really well in sports, in soccer, in basketball, and you know, that was like the talking point of the of the week, of the month. Oh, my son did really well in this sport. My daughter got really good grades in school or my son and you know, this is what we’re judging the kids based on um of how they perform outside of their out of their homes, which I think is uh not the right way to go. I’m not a parent, but me personally looking at it from the outside in, um, it should definitely be different. You should definitely, you know, cherish your kids, you know, whether or not they do good in school obviously or in sports, but obviously you want them to be, you know, good citizens and, you know, uh try to do well in school and give it your best shot, you know, just it just you can’t just be like, oh, you have to get straight as oh, you have to do good in sports or else, you know, you won’t get this or get that. Maybe that is a good way of parenting. But um yeah, I don’t I don’t know if if I see it that way. You guys let me know in the comments below how do you guys see that type of parenting style. You know what else I find interesting is that I think that our paths might have been chosen for us instead of us choosing our own path. Maybe that’s different for other people. Maybe that’s true for some people. But let’s say you wanted to pursue something in art or in music or whatever else it may be, but your parents like, “No, go be a go try to be a doctor. go try to be an engineer, go try to work in an office. But deep down, you didn’t really want to do that. You really wanted to pursue that other thing that you thought of uh that, you know, maybe would make you happy inside. But um unfortunately, we get talked into, you know, pursuing other things that were not on our minds in the first place. And then you look back years down the line and you’re like, why did I why did I choose this? Did I listen to my parents? did I really choose the right thing for myself and for my career? And you know, because that’s a thing you got to live with going forward in your life. It’s not an easy decision um to make. Um but again, I I get both sides. Parents want to help you. They want to put you on the right path. They don’t want you to go down the the wrong path. So that’s why they probably say, “Hey, try to do this. Don’t be stupid. You know, listen to what I say.” And you know, that’s that. which is crazy. Let me be honest and real with you guys. A lot of Bosnian parents have aggressive parenting. And Bosnians who are watching this, they will know and they will understand what I’m talking about because when you were young, when you were, you know, growing up and let’s say you weren’t u obeying the rules that your parents said in the house and right there and then you’ll get the the kaish, which is a belt, or the prut, which is like a long wooden stick. It’s thin. and you’ll get uh a big fat slap to the face um by your parents. And that’s just how it was growing up to be honest. You know, that’s that was the real way of of growing up. Um did that happen to me? Yeah, at times. Did it help me? For sure. It did help for sure. And my parents are great people. They’re not like crazy or anything, but listen, kids get out get out of line and sometimes that can be necessary. I’m not saying, you know, beat your kids or anything like that, but I’m saying like, you know, they’re they have to be disciplined in a way where they’re going to listen and, you know, not cause any more trouble, especially, you know, in the outside world. You want them to uh first and foremost listen in the house so they can uh be successful in other environments in um in society. So, yeah. Did you ever feel anxious, depressed, or confused growing up? Well, you kept it to yourself. If you ever felt sad or showed weakness, it was embarrassing. The goal was to look normal, look disciplined, and look strong, even if you felt like you were breaking inside. This was, I think, a big detriment to a lot of people growing up. Um, due to the strict parenting, uh, as as, you know, Bosian parents were, um, it probably was not good mentally for people who were growing up. um it was probably not a good uh stepping stone in their life of how they were de developing in their in their life, you know, in their brains. And not all parents were like that, I’m saying. Um and there was some parents that were for sure uh lenient, you know, they were chill parents. I know personally a lot of, you know, very mildmannered parents that, you know, didn’t really uh discipline their kids too much and they turned out great. While that is true in some cases, in other cases, other mildmannered parents, they disciplined their kids, you know, in a lenient type of way. And the kids turned out to be, you know, let’s just say the kids didn’t go on the right path because they were disciplined in a way where uh the parents, you know, didn’t really tell them uh give them too much focus in life or didn’t give them too much attention or, you know, just let them do their thing essentially. So, um, that kind of parenting style works in some cases and in some cases it doesn’t. Like I said, in my opinion, I don’t think Bosnian parents taught their kids how to handle failure the right way. Instead, I think they taught their children to just hide their failures. So, if they got bad grades in school, they were taught to hide it. They were taught to suppress their emotions. You know, they weren’t uh, you know, they didn’t cry. They didn’t want their emotions to be out there. they didn’t want to be looked at a certain way and in turn you know you you learn to suppress those type of emotions which can be damaging probably in your later years as an adult. So that’s why probably in your in the adult years uh you know you’re you’re trying to reverse all those things that you learned as a as a child as a kid as a teenager uh because you know you see now down the line years later that hey like it’s okay to like show some you know emotion if things don’t go well obviously you know to a certain point yes but I think that we were taught to really suppress those kinds of emotions the negative emotions that we feel because at the end of the day, we’re all human. You know, we all make mistakes and uh you can’t really uh knock someone when they’re down, especially when they’ve made a mistake. So, um yeah, let me know what you guys think about that um point that I just made about uh suppressing emotions. So, at home, they would be obedient, respectful, and quiet. And outside they would be exploring, feeling, living, but carrying some guilt. And that I think can cause some identity confusion as well as some internal conflict in the house with parents which you know no one wants that you know you want your kid to really uh express themselves the right way. They you know you want your kid to really talk to you about anything it may be any problems any uh good things bad things whatever it may be. So I hope you guys enjoy this video. I hope I hope it brought some insight to you and for sure I hope it brought some value to everyone who has watched this video. If you’ve gotten to this point of this video, please hit that like button. It would help me out a lot and subscribe to the channel if you’re new so this video and this channel can be geared to a larger audience on YouTube. So guys, thank you very much for watching and I will see you next time. Peace.
1 Comment
If you guys enjoyed this video hit that subscribe button!