May the previous owner of this Giant Revolt get a flat tire, in the rain.

I'm not typically one to wish ill on anyone but hear me out on this one. Roughly three years ago, I purchased a second hand from a guy who was very particular about finding someone of a similar height. I didn't think much of it at the time, paid for the bike and started putting miles on it.

Now, as many here likely know, the Giant D-Fuse seat tube has a reputation for being a bit of a pain in the ass. So, the first time I tried adjusting the seat height, I thought mine must be siezed up. The height was close enough though so, I decided to make it a problem for another day.

Fast forward a year or so and I really would like to raise this seat a bit so, I pick a day to ride to work where I'd have a machine shop at my disposal. Much to my surprise, the wedge lock would not budge, not after knocking the screw down, not after taking a slide hammer to the whole assemble, not even after a visit from the 4lb deadblow. At which point, I decided to call round two a loss while I could still ride home.

Which brings us to today, I planned to pop the bike on the trainer and put in some miles but wow, that seat height gets really uncomfortable after a spell. So, let's get to the bottom of this, once and for all.

I started out by retracing my steps, tapping down on the clamping crew but, that's just not working. I have the seat post a gentle warming with the mapp gas torch and try to knock things lose. Nothing. Fuck it. Lynskey has a really good sale going right now, I'm done with the half measures. So, I pop the scew back in and give it some serious impetus, enough to shred the threads. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, no?

So, the mapp gas comes back out and I let the heat soak this time before giving the seat tube a shot of oil in hopes it will wick in. But, what's that sick ammoniated smell? Could it be? No, who would do such a thing?

But if not, then how is this seat post still holding firm after a mild sledge hammering?! Enough playing around then, out comes the drill and in a few minutes, I've got the top piece of the clamp reduced to a pile of chips. Sadly I nicked the seat tube in the process (not that I wanted to reinstall a D tube after this anyway) so, Little Saw, Big Sexy (DeWalt DCS367B) gets to join this party as well.

Did you really just cut the seat post off? What the fuck am I even doing?! My poor bike! Blood sugar fading. Need water. Time to take a break and reassess. In trying to knock the clamp down with the screw, I manage to crack through the weld on the bottom side of the top tube, where it meets the seat post. Maybe I can use that to my advantage?

Right, back to it, I retapped the now mangled bottom clamp for M6 and in so doing, blasted clean through the weld on seam (job for another day #347). Time to flip the bike over and drill the top tube for clearance (~8mm), leaving me with access to the bottom clamp. I thread a long M6 into the bottom clamp while the bike is inverted and give it a good shock with a hammer. It finally let go on the 5th swing.

With that now free, the reason for my trouble is now clear, there's JB Weld smeared all over the clamp and the front of the seat tube. So even after the clamp was fully removed, the seatpost was still rock solid. In the end, a punch knocked it free and a pair of Knipex pulled it out, some three hours and/or three years later.

Future me will need to sand the inside of the seat tube before prepping and welding the hole in the top tube. At which point, I'll probably want to strip the whole frame back to bare aluminum for style points. I might need to add that Lynskey to the stables in the interim but, I digress. I hope this vent has at least been a decent read for you and may you never encounter this situation.