Tea With Me #255. Lads Down Under with Micky Bartlett & William Thompson

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Sippers before we go anywhere or get into this episode of the te With Me podcast I need to point out this recording took place on a beach in Australia it’s me Mickey Bartlett William Thompson for the first I don’t know 50 minutes of this we don’t address

The fact that we are on a beach because the audio listeners will have no idea what we’re talking about for a lot of the stuff that we’re talking about also before we go anywhere Miss iies will be live this Sunday in Mandela Hall this is a truly it’s not just a History Podcast

It’s a historic event the first time me and kieren Bartlett are coming together for a live episode of the podcast that shaking the history world this this podcast isn’t history it’s a present and it’s a future it’s one of the greatest history podcasts of all time the subject

Matter will be the moonlandings and famous Gladiators it’s going to be a great time Mel Hall perfect venue for it so that is this Sunday and there still might be tickets out by the time this episode comes out but don’t say we didn’t warn you please enjoy this

Episode sippers welcome to this episode of the tea with Me podcast before we get in there actually need to do ad you right now I love the class oh there’s no Auto Jo it’s it’s like getting homework on holiday before we get into anything I’ll

I’ll I’ll I’ll make these as quick as I can patreon.com podcast Stars in Your Eyes is going out well it’s already out patreon exclusive uh there’s bonus episodes every Monday live stream on a Friday you can go back and watch all of that patreon.com podcast man

Skipped cuz you you want to keep it smooth down under am I right oh yeah yeah yeah yeah man skip call me the number one in men’s below the belt group did man skip not sponsor we have a sp no World School well he before you came out

Here you uh you borrowed borrowed your auntie sunglasses you didn’t no they’re johnes you got lined up today on the head but but you got lined up in a different head before you came out here is that right oh yeah yeah yeah I used my my man’s skip lawn more did you use

Your the five point though yeah and you were saying you love that that as wireless charging technology didn’t you exact words from my mouth yeah which weird what I think is great about the man from what I’ve heard is I use a shitty uh other brand ah a lot of

Catching lot of catch yes you’re probably all caught up down there them chewed up like a like like a bit of gum who’s saying caught up Usher don’t know what I’m so caught up that’s C caught up yeah yeah yeah right but that’s speaking of Usher my Tesla got caught up in my

Trimmer y so that does make sense what you just said yeah exactly manscaped uh like got when I brought my manscape stuff abroad they have the performance package travel stuff go to manscape.com musical te with me for 20% off for free shipping also we are sponsored by

Nordvpn now this the first time I’ve done this without the [ __ ] sit back and enjoy us even though I am on the other side of the world I’m still passionate about virtual private networks encrypted tunnels help the is that what that stands for virtual private Network I not know that thanks

You uh and what that means is you could like see cuz we’re here Mick you’ve been here for a good while you’re probably on your laptop flat out flat out right and people will be tracking that and seeing what you probably as well when you’re standing hotels as well you’re tracking

It they’re tracking it they’re trying to Snoop on you see what you’re doing we need to wrap this up no we don’t you know why why cuz I have Nord VPN Nord VPN Willie you’re a pervert but that’s but besides the point you can hide your data in an encrypted

Tunnel just cuz we’re down here only last night me and me and Willie were watching get my headpiece down under in our hotel room weren’t we we can do that cuz you know they block what you can watch but not with nordvpn the link is in the description

They have 3 month or something money back threat protection guarantee refund technology check it out nor VPN does what for your Internet Security what manscape does for your bosss wipes and clean my guests today are um none other bed sorry than William Thompson Mickey Bartlett yes you L look at

This look at this it’s a tough job isn’t it this can I just say this guy I’m having a great time you’re having a great time nobody is having a better time on this continent than this guy right here Australians Are My People M

You talk to any if you just went like gu [ __ ] tell the truth I have I’ve been talking away to people been a very friendly guy let’s start this by saying earlier today me and Willie nearly killed the homeless guy that’s we welcome to Australia yeah that that’s

Been the only confrontation we’ve had you’ve only been here day yep but he deserved it was a [ __ ] right so jul let let’s talk people through that yeah so you you you where were we we were at the juice bar which is where all Hard Men start their tails absolutely we

Were at the we were at the fruit juice bar uh and um we were ordering every one of us Mak every one of us pause went no not not today so which is what we said to that guy not today punk not today so we yeah

Yeah we were we try and act hard in this story while waiting for our juices um so there was two like would you call them business women they were in suits so yeah and they were waiting for their juices and there was like a guy there no

Top on pair of denim shorts sorry I was like but this guy was like yeah he was bothering them uhhuh so they’re like being quite straight with him being like yeah we’re just trying to wait for our drinks can you just leave I think you need to tell har he was bothering them

Cuz it was very surreal maybe I messed up but I just knew he was bothering them I don’t know what he was so he was shouting at them fully in the shop and as I called he went I just asked you a question are you a [ __ ] peterfile or

Not that’s right screaming are he had a suspicions put it down he just screaming you’re [ __ ] NS you’re [ __ ] NS he was accusing them of that these two like probably women like drink of juice is Pretty P we like yeah just have a beer of it yeah so uh

So there’s loads of people standing around and I turned around in a and said I think I’m going to have to get involved right so I was like someone’s got to do something here cuz he was heting sh screaming at these women like hear sh your faces and he wasn’t moving

On right so so was like ah no and I said uh I think I said M you just need to move on you did yeah I was like you just need to move on you’re were like a strict substitute teacher had enough and my hands in my hips right I said hey we

I like fun as much as an X-Men hey I like to Shir The Stranger face as much as an next guy I wear no shoes or socks but I was like you yeah M you need to move on and then the guy like Turned for some reason thought it was Willie that’s

Said it to him and he said did he ask you where you were from he said I’m from heaven where are you from no he said I’ve been sent from God where are you from and will I’ve been by the devil [ __ ] Willie said no way better

Than that 10 times he said right 10 times he said what the [ __ ] did you say to me and the guy like he see if walk past it you and they were like there’s a crackhead starting on people you would have thought it was

Him the [ __ ] did you say to me what the [ __ ] did you say to me so I had to like I had to like step in front the Willie and I was saying to this guy this guy’s like now this guy’s facing us and he’s starting to like he’s he’s going he’s

Start and I’m like I’m I’m trying to I’m telling him that guy off I’m telling him off when stop talking to him like stop trying to have a convers the [ __ ] did you say to me right I wasn’t even trying to be I I was genuinely confused yeah

Yeah yeah cuz he just turns around to me he’s he’s like I’m Sent From Heaven where the [ __ ] are you from I was like what and he goes are are you a like are you a [ __ ] Peto as well and I’m like that’s m point I like what and he goes

Are you calling me a [ __ ] dog [ __ ] and I’m like what is happening I I genuinely don’t know I have a berry blast waiting for me here and you’re stopping me get you so it it it got like it was a situation where I was like oh I also

Said I also went M there’s a police over there no in my head there was no police I just made that up but it turned night fully was so he what did they get the guy like he was like police are over he goes what [ __ ] P se he

Goes but then he still like didn’t care and I was like this is this is going to end in such a bad way and like as much as like me and you like to go boxing like we don’t want to have like have street fight with the real man a child

Yes uh but I was like like this is terrible so I was like I’m going to have to be like I’m going to have to hit you man like I’m going to have to tell don’t make me defend myself then I was like yeah I’m going to I was like this is

Going to be such a [ __ ] day if we have to go to a Playstation if I don’t know what the crack is so uh but eventually I just managed to talk him and they just walking away and it was horrific and then it was just like over what what

Frightened me is when he was talking to me and I could see his teeth teeth but he did have some teeth he had some but they were he had a suggestion of were they methy yeah they were very meing every were disgusting matth T abely no

M he does r hasn’t been a dentist get S I be S from God but it’s [ __ ] cuz like there’s I I Haven that many problems with like cuz you do see a lot of like people talking to themselves and shouting [ __ ] at the sky like n and my m

Is Australian she’s very like oh you’re all right mate like you all right I’ve seen her like just walk past meth heads and just be like like it’s nothing yeah and they just seem to be like thanks it’s like they almost go I’m sorry I’ve taken us and they’re back

Into room CU our homeless are they’re special brw up me they had a few CS what we like to do with the mental people back home is stick them on a Facebook live yeah and have and have them do mental [ __ ] or give or give them a Tik

Tok yeah I was like walking back from that after getting a couple couple week CS yeah and there was a guy just cycling like [ __ ] side to side and saying either prayers or poetry out loud and looking at people in the eye and I was just like nope nope nope yeah like the

Homeless here are addicted to me back home they’re addicted to Tik Tok yeah but it was the it was the scariest I realized i’ made a mistake cuz I just saw him scoring up the and it was just the [ __ ] SL my me as soon as he

Turned around and went I’ve been s from God where are you from I was like might be on death here yeah yeah no you just kept it what the [ __ ] did you say to me and it got more like Barone as it went on what did you say what did you say

What did you say the end it was like remember Frank Butcher and East Ender he went the [ __ ] you say my boy it was terrible then he just walked off but I was like that could happen a million times a day I was doing nothing to deescalate situation 3:00 that’s uh 10

Two it was [ __ ] I’m so fair we’re going to r i don’t right if you’re trying to like give him code for checking people out don’t do that because yesterday at the beach Willie nearly like genuinely he was that like into it that he didn’t have cble policy for like 10

Minutes does that make sense he was like he just came out of yourself and you you con big fs and some sunsh well you missed an absolute Bel you were like you were like she like really it was like being a willly woner chop for you oh it was absolutely

Amazing that’s funny there was a day we were are scrum like we were I’m making like a short film with a bunch of comedians right and with my girlfriend and as we were right I I over his shoulder cuz I’m in a relationship right I feel like the

People there’s like a T-Rex behind them and they can’t see it oh I know it’s in the blue [ __ ] this is why Mickey’s in such good ship man con DDP you on the beach went full Oiler like you didn’t move your neck was like the extra sist yeah these

Aren’t even so these are Ms like see any dirt in them I will say we were Modern Men on the beach and caught ourselves or like we need like one we’ll stop looking oh you have to cuz especially when you’re from Ireland there’s so you can’t you can’t keep it

In you have to go holy [ __ ] it’s dudes more than it is oh yeah like literally nobody’s fat man it’s hard to be fat out here that’s right like yeah but there was a couple of weeks we were making this short film and I I’m not making this up we’re in

Like [ __ ] the the middle of nowhere and there’s me my girlfriend and two dudes doing like the camera work and two two Swedish realiz we’re in the bush in the middle of two Swedish girls came out in bikinis cycling on BMXs and my brain just went look straight ahead

You stupid cun he’s watching you right and I’m like start at a tree like and like I could time him my head I went three two one I could just feel Taylor looking at me like like are they good looking I’m like sing so can you be like how how far away

Is like any kind of Outback how far do you have to go before it gets like in person that 40 minutes when you’re in like you’re in with the sticks like are there’s like you you don’t realize how big Australia is until you start driving around even just a long

Motorways that place we were filming there there’s a little like reard in the middle of it on a 15-minute drive up a hill and there’s kangaroos just running straight past you I was going to say you seen wild yeah yeah seen a bunch like seen a blue tongue lizard last week just

In a Housing State not even like right anywhere mad there’s certain points of you look in the in between trees and the like maybe more in the city center Bute in freem metal but there’s golden orb spiders so we saw spiders yesterday the golden ores with the your fist

Completely harmless but they’re [ __ ] huge they catch birds right so see the actual spider webs you can flick the web and it doesn’t break like a guitar string right right so they’re terrifying whenever you’re just like you just see them yeah uh what else have we seen that’s pretty much it the spiders

Fascinated like you were terrified over them even though you stopped you hated it I love what did you seez I was in the head was it a web spiders like a a series of branches and just like it looked like [ __ ] rope swings gold ones yeah probably but the big ones

Aren’t the scory they’re not the ones you need to be afraid of yeah it’s the we red backs the Reds K the funnel web ones the other side of the country right see where you’re living here could there potentially be that in your house tonight I don’t know but I haven’t seen

Any spiders what I did what has happened a couple times is there’s we lizards yeah yeah there’s we lizards running about outside of the house and I opened the sliding door to take a bit of Washington and the a lizard tail just fell out of the roof nope but it’s cuz

It’s then we ones to just like GEOS just shoot the tails off like [ __ ] psych and then they grow back that’s class but it wiggled for a full half an hour after it hit the ground he we I didn’t I don’t want to see what

Happened have you met a koala no not yet he to meet a koala like not like nice to meet you sir they work parttime in Willies I was asking my her addresser today about Thompson I was asked himer today about it I was like what are the gely it was

Like you going like I’ve met Kev heart I was like she was like oh I’ve met a koala I was like what’s he like guy and she’s like they [ __ ] stink they’re like the smelliest animal in the world well I went to like the pet who see one

In Sydney but you’re not allowed to hold it I didn’t want to anyway you can stand beside it but I think here and there somewhere else where you can actually the government are like no [ __ ] get one H yeah is a different [ __ ] yeah it’s the only the only state I think you’re

Allowed here in Queensland the only two states you’re allowed to do it the rest have a no hold in law I’ve read up a lot in can you do it in Brisbane qu that’s Victoria no that Queens yeah yeah probably like cuz the wean wants that like we got to do this

For you’re going to be able to I have a look in my face that I didn’t know I had before until I started seeing photos and koalas it’s just P did you see quas and Rod Nest this guy like genuinely that’s the cutest naughties have you SE that

Yeah also when he looked at one of those we things it was like you know the two Spider-Man meme yeah where they’re looking at each other they looked at like d people were getting photos with Willie like it’s a biggest one we there’s a

Thing to do out here I know I don’t know if it’s still true and I haven’t been to rotness I haven’t seen the quers yet right but there was a game out here for while they called quaca Saka where you would basically go through this and start boting

Qu no come on because they they’re so cute because they’re so cute and because there’s no like Predators out there with the same people they’re like oh yeah you got no Predators for a size 10 Jordan that’s terrible so like but I laugh when I heard I was like that’s hilariously

Do I hate that and you can’t go back in case someone kicks you I know my [ __ ] legs are aing but you love them like see when you go to rotness they which is people don’t know it’s Tak an island like takes half an hour we went yesterday by ferry to get

To it and that’s the only place they live yeah you keept calling them chalkers and we went along with you cuz we don’t know what they are I I read it and thought it was choca but it’s cocka quaca like when you’re in the restaurant over there they’re like R your feet and

All and I at the start I was like they look cute but then they are so they are busy like giant rats yeah they’re sheding everywhere I time saw the first time I came out here was in Melbourne I saw a guy punch a p

Him I swear to God I was an Irish cont to no it wasn’t until I was an Australian guy Irish and we were walking along this way street in Melbourne and there’s a there’s like a wall with a we B like a garden area in the middle of the city

And this POS was just [ __ ] across and the Australian guy was like oh you [ __ ] can’t and he whacked it and you would think cuz the size of POS that it would go flat and it just kind of went like looked at him what are you doing you [ __ ]

Mor well are you uh are you going to move to Australia you love it I would I would love to come out even for like 3 months if I could get somewhere I could do enough gigs that I’m not bankrupting myself I have the perfect plan you did

Have an amazing plan I we come out here and do the festivals next year yeah so you so how long is that so you do Perth ad Melbourne Sydney it takes it’s January May essentially so 5 months uh we could 100% do that’ be great and would you do like a compilation show

Yeah I say the best like do a compilation show do a week of like solo shows yeah and what like a best ofish kind of yeah you just like in festivals if you just go best of nationality yeah people go to like but you you said that

There was like I haven’t even researched this and I’m all in I’ll [ __ ] sell this would you what would you would would like living here be way better for your condition and your muscles 100% like I’m sure cuz we’ve moved a lot but I’m not cramped up it is really [ __ ]

Good for me on the swimming and that you’re able to walk it’s [ __ ] great I haven’t felt this loose ever yeah it’s [ __ ] amazing and I love that everyone the weather affected as well right enough like think about your muscles when it’s cold right so think about mine

Where it’s even tighter seeing a really cold Winter’s day I can’t really move it’s sore to get out of bed but here it’s [ __ ] I like sasis disappears too like yeah mean all the [ __ ] that and everyone here like what I love about sanism disappears as well boys oh no

It’s still in me but the best part is no one’s in a rush to do anything no it’s it’s they’re the most chilled we talking about like there’s so many parts but maybe it’ be interesting to hear from you about like like we think everything here’s a me

Yeah where like it’s perfect like what’s so what is the catch actually living here I think the only cat live in here is that the the rent is extortionate um especially I think like especially in Perth cuz they had like a mining boom that only sort of shed its pants a couple years

Ago the mining boom I broke the I say make noise I’m in a Caro [ __ ] it’s wind imagine I’m on space right was a mining boom yeah so they had loads of money and I think it’s just sort of R out so basically it’s like the rents went

[ __ ] insane they didn’t I don’t think they really had a like a housing crisis that we had at home so that’s kicked in now so like there’s certain things were like like the dollars weaker than the pound of the minute but you’d still be

Paying like 7 a pound yeah if you if you do it in those terms you do it in pain terms right um but you’re like you’re like the paint Martin lose I have a dream no I could save you nine PS in your heating bill every

Month but that’s that’s do that I can say is like I keep saying I don’t know how anybody can be depressed out here when you’re always wearing shorts yeah when the wind kisses your knees you’re going to be like but I’ll say that you’re saying like it is dearer to pain

I think me and you have agreed on this the desire to pain is nowhere near strong yeah it’s like and I think anytime I’ve done a serious bit of drinking you either can’t get drunk cuz you’re sweating it out of you or you get so drunk so quick you save money in the

Long run yeah right right right like two PS in I’m like I need to go to bed cuz I’m [ __ ] roasting now do me wrong you see a lot more [ __ ] I think out here because right behind you it’s like a [ __ ] bone fell behind us so I feel

Like a should point out cuz this is so weird people might think we’re just doing this in a hotel room so be weird to be like what kind of [ __ ] hotel room no no no if if if they audio listeners how [ __ ] is your budget if they’re audio listeners you so I feel

Like we should we should have pointed out at the start we’re at the beach yeah that mind bit would have died the somebody in the car like why just go quiet SP is my Spotify not working yeah I feel like yeah I should have flagged

At the start where at the beach is this a public or patreon it’s public oh [ __ ] hello people I did not know that your posture just got way better there it did someone walked past again I like no hi this boner it’s uh I totally get why

People do like if you’re like 21 or whatever like of course you it’s definitely something I wish I don’t when I was younger been here like 100% I feel that’s the possession I’m in cuz I don’t have kids or a girlriend so I’m like there’s nothing I like anybody I know

That’s been out here a while from Ireland they’ll get homesick go home and within a week they’re like that’s enough right right right like uh I have a couple of mes like went back for Christmas and they’re like within [ __ ] 10 days you’re going to seen everybody yes and I’m happy enough to

It’s the same since before you left so you’re [ __ ] back out do you do that thing where like the first day you’re out here on the way here you’re you’re keeping up to date with all the news from home you know like what’s I don’t keep the date with the news from home

When I’m at right no but like I I don’t mean the news is and like BBC News I mean like what everybody’s up to what they’re doing does that go away pretty quick you’re like yeah I think like but I’ve been coming out here that much in the last year

Anyway that it doesn’t really it doesn’t really factor in there’s times where like I’ll wake up and you of all had a bit of chat in WhatsApp and then all go on to bed and I’m like oh I don’t want to jump in with one cuz it looks like

Either I’m going to wake his up or it took me 5 hours to think of a joke yeah yeah yeah there’s times like you will ride in and I’m the only one season but I know Flags I don’t want people to know at 3: in the morning play Playstation so

I don’t say anything I haven’t done any drunk like drunk face times home like New Year’s Eve I got like cuz I sort of agreed to myself I’m going to go off booze for January so New Year’s Eve I got [ __ ] twatted and I think I told

Everybody in my phone I love them right like started there just work my way so you’ve not really been drinking no cuz I think last time you did the podcast back home you were talking about maybe knocking drinking on the head and and you were sort of fed up with it yeah I

Just like I think like we we cuz me and Taylor sort of did like a basically thre Monon run around the UK and stuff so we were drinking loads I put a [ __ ] ton of weight back on after Edinburgh and then I just had a point where it was like

Sort of bored of it yeah um and again being out here you’re just like you sent me your before and afters when we were on the plan I was like [ __ ] superb yeah that’s one of the ones where I’m like I haven’t put it online yet and that the we F the after

Was good like in the changeing room [ __ ] good you’ve put the work in a [ __ ] working out like [ __ ] yeah eight times a week yeah I like cuz I was texting you at like 2: in the morning on the plane just like a we giggling school

Girl class I but again being out here especially I I think I always like exercise in the summer anyway you always get up earlier you’re always feeling better about doing it and when you’re out here and like in the shape that I was in and I’m still not in great shape

You do just go [ __ ] this like yeah I feel like a [ __ ] I feel like a fat B I’ve lost the got to a stone and a half since Christmas and I’m still like no might keep my shirt on the pool of that’s all right everybody here’s ripped

And also even if they’re not ripped they’re so like confident cuz cuz everyone is so late but I feel like here versus home and even we’re not as bad as say somewhere like London But like everyone Compares himself to everyone else at home and like here I feel like

Even the people who aren’t done on realship which aren’t that many people they just car himself with so much confidence just like there’s a thing that I like it’s there’s a there’s a positive and a negative to it it’s big enough that you can be anonymous so

That’s was going to say you do me more cont night out because it’ll no one will remember the next day right right right but the flip side of it is you’re also like oh yeah who gives a [ __ ] yeah like um but I I I would love to move like is

It something you you’re genuinely considered after being here a full day yeah yes I have no home as far as I’m con but I I haven’t flown back from Australia and not cried yeah like I him in an airport I’m like [ __ ] and you fly business well I don’t know I’m into your

Flaming you yeah can’t afford my phone bill but did you did you say you had it hard on the way here here man I got sned in the so I right I w’t put this can on cuz wet uh when I flew out at Christmas I I’d upgraded to extra leg room right

So I was like that’s working class business class that’s as good as you can get but Grant but I had to do it all nighter and then drive to duin airport for like had to leave the house at like 2:00 in the morning right so went online

And it was cheap to upgrade from D Doha so yeah for anyone it’s like a what 78 hour flight the Middle East you go to Doha or qar usually and then I was doing a 15 hour flight to Sydney so I was like right I’ll upgrade the business class

For the first flight that’ll help my sleep so I’ll get a better sleep back then when I get the second flight cuz all all I was thinking about was the jet lag yes I’m for people who wouldn’t be sure so like because we’re self-employed and you’re coming here to work yeah you

Can claim that you back off tax yeah but it was like so I don’t want anyone listen and being like sh’s a big shot but literally like you can play as working well that’s the thing yeah and that’s the only reason I did it yeah and

You do feel like a [ __ ] [ __ ] he PID for it in cash as P for it in Coke I was like much it 500 just cut half just turn up to the [ __ ] check in this with set of skills what can you do I much

107s but it ended up like all right so I upgraded the business class for the first flight and I landed in Doha and my brain was going I was lovely like I was I was no drinks enough did you sleep in enough I slept for most of it and then

When I woke up I was like oh there’s a cocktail menu I went [ __ ] there’s old Fashions on a plane right so ordered no Fashions before landed and I was like there two more them quick and then they brought the food out and I was like the

Food’s unbelievable so then we got to Doha I went right how much is it upgrade from here to Sydney and the guy told me how much it was and I went no [ __ ] way and I walked about 10 ft and my ego went [ __ ] did it right and I don’t

Even want to say out loud how there it was right it was [ __ ] it was a year’s rent and I just went I [ __ ] right and it was the best money I’ve ever spent in my life I would do it again heartbe so [ __ ] I would do it again in a [ __ ]

Heartbeat that the seat in that plane treated me better than my [ __ ] girlfriend does I’ve never had anyone in my my life be so nice to me as that staff you know was hilarious dud when I got on it was you could tell the staff were like oh

It’s his first time cuz I was like right was the bar where there’s loads of like [ __ ] you know premium like Spirits or something I’m like are these me pastries just the T you like was it like you don’t you don’t you don’t Bor when he’s in the lift and he’s like I

Will not move to a bigger room W you could tell I was the only guy never done it before as well right cuz an our flight from D or from Doha so they bring out a glass of champagne and I’m like oh thank you glob then I draw another one I was like

Why not then they brought out this we it was like a BRI beef cube with like Wasabi sauce and stuff right I was like all lethal n right I look around everyone else is carving it up and I’m like oh [ __ ] the and the dude came over like

Draw another one of those to I was like uhuh right so he set another one down my brain’s going come on now cover it up be a gentleman but a two glass [ __ ] again me time everyone was sitting up properly I was I was watching Batman versus Ninja

Tur drinking the dearest Whiskey on Earth the guy cross he crunching the quarterly numbers I Tak this off my taxes I also know way they give you the we pajamas this is how stupid I am cuz I’ve never flown it ever G pajamas I literally like got off from my seat

Walked over yours am I allowed to put these on there I came up the I came up the eye looking like the kid from Monsters Inc just like look at me D they give me the pajamas I look one medium they’ll be all right even the first one from D the do I

Couldn’t find the headphones and I was like I was I thought at one point do my Bluetooth headphones connect to that [ __ ] TV right I got very above like above my own station and the girl was like oh they’re in the armrest just [ __ ] you see your

Elbow’s elbow it’s not real honestly and like when the had be the blankie feel the way to that unbelievable like the closest I’ve got to it I twice I’ve flown home from here and had a road to myself right like you can’t beat this there’s nothing there’s nothing better and then I’ve

Upgraded the business class and I’m like this is better than my own house yeah yeah like it’s the first time I’ve been on a flight and when we were Landing it was like for [ __ ] you know do a couple of lap seron you know when like guys talk about

Like oh my M thought that the the stripper fancied them it’s like that with because the airline air hostesses or whatever there’s like there’ll be like one of them for every like six people yeah so they are Mr Bartlett you know and every time you speak to them

It’s they don’t look it up they just know okay that’s Mr Bartlett in that you think they think you’re you know what I mean man there was I had I was lucky as well having like really there was a point where one of the St asses I you

Don’t even like saying St you want to go staff yeah and she put her hand on my shoulder when I was drinking on the second flight and she went can you handle this and I was like oh be right all right Desy CH I’m Mak [ __ ] right

But there was a point where she came around to like asked what food I wanted right like what do you want for breakfast and I went well like what I it’s like I haven’t flown business class before watch it again and she went everything yeah was like ask Queen

What’s our film everything all at once whatever um yeah that was everything all I once or whatever but who was oh we had uh we had I told you we had Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20 and uh the Scottish ban M so it was an All-Star flight allar

Flightman allar went down so I right I I’ll full disclosure on this I’m a huge Max Matchbox 20 fan why wouldn’t you be right I love them I think they’re great I didn’t know any other their songs but I’m F of the song Smooth yeah it would

Have been great if at 3:00 a.m. you had to Rob Thomas like ah must be lonely uh so I I sort of checken out of going over to him and I uh I said the Willie cuz of the way the seats were I went if you see Rob Thomas go to the bar

Come get me we’ll conveniently go for a drink we’ll get chatting to him that’s all I don’t want a selfie all I want is what’s happened to me that would be enough for me so what happened is conveniently will he falls asleep for 5 and a half hours right fantastic best

And then I woke up to go for a piss and when and I was like half asleep and then I realized he was in the bar chatting to everyone and I was like this would be perfect but I just didn’t have I was so

Tired I was like I can’t do it and then I went to sleep and then I think Willie came to get me an hour later to go Rob Thomas in the bar but I was asleep right so it just didn’t work out the only interaction I had with him was I went in

My big pajamas that the sleeves were too big for and came back with like a big handful of pastries and he just saw like this [ __ ] we Man Child in pajamas that were too big for him just like I was like so I was like rolling up the ey you

Do lose your mind he was just looking at me like what the [ __ ] I was like these are lovely I remember like they handled the food out and I went oh this will just be a better version of airplan food and I took one MTH full of the mashed

Potato and gravy and went Jesus yeah I mean i’ one bite steak and went [ __ ] they on HS I think this is amazing it’s I think it’s the novelty for us because if you weren’t like going for work you would never do this in a million years

From now on I will endeavor that’s the only way I fly I like I’m going to have don’t no I mean obviously if I’m going on [ __ ] he you’re not getting business class to Glass go left yeah I’m not going to get business class to

[ __ ] T go away for a week yeah cuz it does exist but like for for the long flight the Ambassador where are you off to Ambassador last americ two half I just like really white bread for me it’s nice to get off a plan not be

Sure that was like a benefit for me I hadn’t anticipated felt [ __ ] incredible and then the he like I know it’s a cliche thing but like we stepped off the it was like 7:00 at night or or we got delayed like by an hour Did we

Tell you the heat oh man it does slap you like Did we tell you what the guy in The Bu said to me in security do you remember this night so I came through of the we lanyard to go through security and they’re taking me through and then

One guy he was in like full military uniform and the B he looked like when Sergeant Slaughter turned Hill that’s what he looked like and he just went up I was about to go through the scanner machine he was like oh will your a pacemaker take this I was like what he

Goes yeah you’re a pacemaker there a guy running beside you I’ll be all right will I was like no no I’m fat on disable that’s true two different things are unrelated every one time coming out and uh sorry I’d be so scared there I would agree to anything I’d be like No it

Should be fine I had that know I got really well you’ve seen me when I get annoyed I’m not the wor worst content and argument ever so I get pissed off really quickly so he’s like have you any papers and I was like I had to fill out

Papers to get this don’t just give you and he was just give me a dirty look he said well he said what the [ __ ] did you say [ __ ] did you say I send you back to hav what were you going to say oh I no remember coming like coming through

Dubai once and there was unattended luggage and I was like I remembered every [ __ ] movie from the naughties was like oh Middle East I could hear like oh [ __ ] like went over this guy was like there’s and he just laughed in my face and he went we’re not trying to bomb

Us ni want me I understand I found the smoking Lounge in the B airport that’s rough I you couldn’t get in though could you no I was in it he couldn’t get in is that the one of the no it’s literally just the room where you you it’s

Sponsored by Chesterfield oh yeah yeah there’s there’s ones you go to where like you open the when I smoked you open the door just Goose the love they love smoking oh man everyone in it was just an old Chinese businessman you when you go do you have

To do you have to do that to get it do you have to like assume that role to get in I just I just want 50 a big oversized soon there’s that much smoking room you’re doing the eyes you want there’s 15 people in that room and 20 of them

Are Chinese businessmen that’s how there’s just so everyone there is just a 90 years old smoker and they don’t flick the ass off the cigarettes either so they’re they’re doing that weird thing your granny would do you’re like big long bit Ash hanging you’re like C you’re like [ __ ] ping flick flick

Quick so where do you go got G up I’ll be The Fringe you just announced the Waterfront yeah yeah oh yeah Waterfront was on the 6 September Millennium forms 2 by the way we’re nowhere near end this podcast I just double check no I think I

Was just sing out so I remember ah uh yeah so I’m going to be with the Adel friends and I’m going to be in Melbourne Brisbane Sydney out of all these places and this first time I’ve seen person on this trip cuz last time it was like flying the

Show fly out uh melber’s my favorite I I think like I cuz well last time I was in Melbourne for two weeks I was hammered the entire time so I saw [ __ ] all of it like I I I would tell people were like oh what did you and

Mickey get up to over there I was like when I would like we would text each other all the time cuz when I was leaving to go out in the morning you were coming we’re like literally sh we the C we there’s a bar of comedians hang about in

Oh you took me have a lock in and I was like this is just me for the it’s only pop us on M for two weeks yeah and it’s a [ __ ] hole there’s a gr bar near us what it’s called Jam juice oh jungle juice jungle juice so it seemed like

That but are you took me so first I get there Mickey’s like come on out I like I’ll go for one I’ll go for one and I went there and every single comedian at the festival was there and you could everyone was just like they’ve been

Partying for a few weeks and you could tell like everyone was like de behind the eyes sunburnt all this and it felt like something demonic in a way like cultish where like if you got me to have more than one drink that would you would get the Lea yeah you know mean like

You’re Mr so I W jonic with you and I was like no I’m leaving and you went no you must you must stay with me yeah tell the others there’s been a time where last year remember seeing JoJo Southerland and she’d been out in the same run that

I’m doing but obviously was drinking the whole time and we were like how can you be in Australia during summer and be whiter right right right having [ __ ] outside you just yeah you you would all drink till like 5 you drank until they were told you to stop drinking and then

You go to sleep wake up for the gig yeah so I was like there’s one night where I was going through my phone and it was before I was going out with my girlfriend but we like there whole she’s a comic she was all there like in the

[ __ ] room and there’s a big comedians party and somebody was doing karaoke and I was on stage letting the strip letting on the strip and then I zoom around on my phone and I can see my no girlfriend starred away like that and I’m like I do not remember that

Happened like I remember that’s what it was cuz I said you couple of nights in I was there for like five nights and on the third or fourth night I was like next year after our show tonight I’d love me and you to go to karaoke and we

Were wrapped up at like half 10 right and you were like I found the place to do karaoke and I went to that bar with you and Lally C my head and I was like is this R in karaoke you went yeah and you said it was like half1 and he goes

It starts at12 and there’s like 10 people already signed up I was like good luck all just left I want to just get up do walk into Memphis and leave it’s the big rap party like so it’s I think free and P and stuff like that uh what was

This for what was the was Comedy Festival just but it’s great that an all just all the festival who talk to I get contact thank you don’t go home just stay here be all right man you have no idea how close I am then like it’s great

To see like honestly how H not that you’re not happy at home but you’re so happy here and it actually like you know people talk about whome content but it is there’s there’s there’s he L like literally if that homeless guy had like bit him on the neck like a zombie

Earlier he loved it cuz he’ just be happy to be here there is something with being out here and going I’m out here doing standup yeah and because I do stand up and it just you can’t be in a bad mood yeah yeah yeah there there’s a

This is the the weird thing ever to say you sure but like there’s a part of me it’s a little bit proud it’s like oh I’ve got here just cuz I tell jokes do you know what and it’s It’s the weird thing to say but there’s a little bit

Also I just realized you think people are walking past and thinking we’re doing some sort of like Shen of PT and we’re to like guys before we started this journey I would know wor thank you m thank you face red I don’t know what people are thinking although everyone just does podcast

Nowaday so like I don’t think it’s that weird it’s yeah it’s only the only weird thing that’s happened so far is just that one Asian lady and the guy who’s in a bay suit for some reason yeah that was weird yeah but he lost his koal suit oh God

The lost that made it was so cool I don’t think I don’t think we can get used to a koala today it’s okay but that’s this is breaking my heart cuz do you know what see earlier I was talking about like getting a general plan for

The day what did he have on his hand a pamplet kalal yeah no weirder he had a he had a pet for the qual where’ you find a pet for the qu I went the reception all right it’s like you know where is it Craig Craig you

Hear close the door back out your koal F at the back of rush I made you behind the I don’t think that’s too far from here it’s an R all show but we don’t have time for that it’s fine it’s fine do you know what you could do it but

You’d be going by yourself no I’d be [ __ ] wrecked as what time your show start it yeah literally even looking at the pictures of the koalas there’s a we we will get to no it’s fine it’s fine no I believe you but but this is the only

You do you want is it important do you to hold it or do you just want to be I would like to meet one again keep saying meet right I just want to meet a koala yeah big fan of your work cuz a w and Syne as well you’re like

I’m not allowed to be touched either you’re allow you’re allowed to like put your hand this back people call me a bear L I love it I love it well we go get f [ __ ] Cas no it’s like I think I’m a lot more pleasant to be around here and I don’t

Know why yeah I’m not as angry yeah I definitely think if you doing that short I trying not to F my arms cuz it’s [ __ ] but doing this short a trip you’ll have a bug to come back like yeah I mean I I went for one walk and text

You how do I make a Liv night here because yeah you did you like we left you for a walk you get back when I’m moving here Mick’s helping me it’s honestly I think the best way to do it cuz I’ve always wanted to do like if you

Can come out do the FES it’s exactly how you Micky’s help got a job for the government I can’t F I’m moving here Mickey has a plan I just woke up to the Australian prime minister well sorry man I know him I was talking about like you

Were dutching red that I like he has a plan have faith to have faith I’m not I’m not jumping the gun here but I’ve been for one walk and I’m never leaving know how I was walking around i m God he’s in the juice bar punching

Women but like have you ever seen the how I was walking around par have you ever seen the video for ldm by Lily Allen yeah yeah it’s like a really bright and colable as she walking by you see it’s a [ __ ] hole everything I saw I

Was like that’s amazing I walked past it 7even morning there’s a big fat lady in her car scoffing a cream bun and I was like what was his name but she was like say a m that’s what you would call it too getting scoffed I told you scof a cream bun and

You’re like why did you do that I was like I didn’t wrap the window and early for us well he’s getting scoffed tonight I hope you do get scoffed you whim scoff you you see if it for scoffing you see if it was a choice between a really hot person being like

Do you want scoffed but I had to get a early to go meet a koala yeah yeah yeah like koala one dick so where’s where’s we’re standing in a hotel and it’s like very ping hotel but across the road there’s a Backpackers hostel and we walk

Past it me and kind of shivered a bit we’re like like how crazy would that be this guy was like oh [ __ ] he was raging we were standing in the hotel and not there man just stand outside the Backpackers clipping your fingernails he’ll know what it means thought it be something funny it

He was my nail clippers who’s nail clippers but it’s like you are horrified you two were horrified by the idea of a hostel doesn’t bother me they’re fine literally called hostiles yeah but he was like he was raging he was raging that we had our

Own like room you know what I mean he’s like [ __ ] like we have like a room where your your safety’s basically guaranteed I wasn’t raging I was like this is nice but like I was just being like you know you know that mem of like the guy in the

Bushes rubbing his hands he saw that seven person mixed or was like oh well he needs scuffed I I’ve told us that by the time I scoffed in Lithuanian yeah I want best scoff let’s go I’m trying to think of something n no I stand that there’s a place in

Perth that I stand in once and I was it was sketchy as [ __ ] was that the motel type place it was I but it was like a it was called the the Rondevu hotel and it was like rev’s also doing show rondu Rond Vu or rondu it’s Rond de

Vu I thought it was Rond Vu it could be Rond Vu yeah yeah anyway R this vu’s hotel and uh it was dodgy as [ __ ] and then fire alarm went off one night and we all got kicked out and there was a woman who had some of their messy teeth

And the only thing she brought out of her room was a like a massive case of them cans of Jack and Coke right just just resting on a bin she goes this is the worst [ __ ] hotel I’ve ever stayed like this must be [ __ ] bad because I switch to you would look

Lovely I like the idea that like her family were in there but she chose to everyone else got their passport and like [ __ ] important [ __ ] Jesus there that’s [ __ ] 48 count of was it weird when you had the same thing no mine were empty I was like

Po it uh it’s [ __ ] like every type like this is this like beach we at right everywhere you go looks like the best place ever like it doesn’t get better than this I there’s it’s hard to find bad food out here even like we have not

Had a bad me like everything a sh Lando is we last night me it’s not as good out here as like but I’ve learned if you make peace with the fact it’s different it’s not bad but the first time we came I literally I stood in the doorway for

Like 10 minutes like and people get walking past me it was like maybe they’re but why they don’t they don’t bring you to your table all that sort of one thing I’m loving everywhere I go they’re playing trans music yes that’s very much up my it’s the only other

Place other than like East Belfast and also the lifestyle seems to be like you get a a car from 1995 and just just drive the gut of it [ __ ] about with it yeah I love it it’s class one it’s I’m not going home [ __ ] it I’ll join you m I’ll join you sure

You’re helping you’re helping helping me mi’s smuggling me will like they overstay your Visa guys mix helping me all right we just buy a bed coat now get in your shoulders but like when would it like if you did come here for like half a year

Or whatever would it be next would you be do next year January right time I would look at doing it for then cuz I’ve got Waterfront in December right right right the best way to do it is that cuz the you wor the system yeah the rest of

The year it’s too big a country too spread out to actually make a Liv fulltime standup like a lot of the gigs we do a sh so the best way to do it is come out do the festivals [ __ ] off home and have summer for a

Year that’s why I were looking at well you two do a past 100% 100% that’ be that be give two episodes for you ready to kill me cuz I’m a cheeky C no what I’d hear I’m not even I’m lovely but [ __ ] you’ll be right makes looking after I mean that’s

The that’s the podcast I told you it’s called mix looking after Mi looking after [ __ ] good guy yeah Mickey he’s one of my [ __ ] B yeah he’s a he’s a man of mine the made of ours just got to [ __ ] see it we remember we were

Shooting that promo of me in the koala bar suit and there’s just a group of [ __ ] teenage boys like he’s dressed like a [ __ ] koala yeah and and also that’s like a fleece line suit that he brought [ __ ] it was so I had on for 5 minutes

And like it was a nightmare getting it off yeah cuz it was like just it was like peeling skin off it was [ __ ] sweltering got skin off how now now looks like he’s doing a camp here for Zara the way he saw over there in that way shirt please help me find

Zara Zara went for a walk at 2:00 last Thursday and hasn’t been seen since carrying a case with Jack and Coke now like now like officially loves it like oh that he just he loves it that’s I thought it was an actual second then

Now loves it now loves it he’s got a guy doing a sh the first time too think he’s on the a dou Craig Heaven yeah the three of them what was the other one now who gives a one okay we’ve got 9 Minutes Willie that’s what you do you do the Waterfront

And then go away for a we bit I I just but don’t say it like that cuz then people think you’re rep pedo will he’s had to go away for a wee bit no I’m like the Undertaker whenever he’s injured I’ll go away for six months I’ll be back

Right I mean you’ll be on Lage the gong goes off right and I just appear to be hot uh you see him presenting the cup in sa AR do you see this The Undertaker present the cup in Saudi Arabia right so like Cristiano Ronaldo Cristiano the way I said it I just

Thought it sounded a bit like Scoopy dude there’s no reference to the one wasn’t that smart I just just had something in my throat I was like you know is Zach alakus that gift where he’s like trying to work out all the sums around him I’m like right link between Scooby-Doo the

Undertaker in Saudi Arabia go um but he also laugh like oh M like different cartoon never mind same genre Cristiano Ronaldo’s team where he’s doing a show brid as well uh not a name um Christian Ronaldo’s team were playing some final in Saudi Arabia football and you know

The tropy presented by like an ex player or something or like the sponsor the full Undertaker in character Undertaker Sor it was a mad place that’s what happens you too much money and yeah they’re doing stupid [ __ ] the players are even like the [ __ ] is this guy do

Don’t look at him yeah this guy died twice this man is there is an award show from 96 that undertak like it was a mainstream one com was like a music award or something like MTV Music Award something like that don’t know why but the Undertaker was presenting an award but just kiss

Just before he went on stage he got served divorce papers right so there is a ceremony The Undertaker full attired being like please take me back [ __ ] so weird how does he talk please take me back you did the first time that was you to that meth ear yeah the way you did

The First Time The Undertaker says guess please take the back it’s me the Undertaker get with the Undertaker hand that’s me boy he Limestone you tomb what’s it called they can’t mean rest in peace boys that’s just ter side was oh yes time to play on the game boys let’s

Go when is smell up he’s cooking something again that’s a bottom line and telling you can’t find them why Stone Cold t uh Stone tell you ever doesn’t matter [ __ ] what do you think what you got to do bro it’s all about the gameone versus our M good somewhere [ __ ] ah it’s warm

Now wrest C some for hey we see you and hell hell someday for I would be intimidated if did the right waying somay for um when did your show November September September all thick sixth thick sixth of September mhm that’s a that’s a lovely day SE Pro piure thanks some really some really

Awesome people were born on the SE is that your birthday is it yes I have a good I don’t know where you can go is Waterfront Hall 100% um that’s a sure you’re doing here is it well it’s like a not really it’s a version of it so

Basically what I’m doing sneakily is writing the show while I’m out here so by the time I get back to Belfast be a brand new show Nobody seen so you like swapping out bits as they ah okay you’re siing them bits off saing them bits off

Y mining for gold and uh cross back your November December 13th have you n no but you will by the time yeah by the time it’s I I December 13th last year great aort yeah great effort yeah scumbag millionaire come see it she his poster not yet actually oh it’s great it’s good

Good it’s great good I just need to rate the actual [ __ ] show I remember being in Dublin we were doing Olympia that day me you and R went on a boys trip during the day we went to Cold Water swimming we went to house and it was great it was best day

Ever that I was going to say who’s host was that was that the day Andre R kept doing the impression of Elton John from Bo yes backstage Andre R coming ink going bom do you you bom he lost he lost his mind a bit um but that’s the day you told us

You were talking about the the story of the show the idea of the show but not like it was a show tell story it you know like you both stop and do like in a Hollywood movie you turn to the guy and be like that’s the that’s the show Bo at

The same time clock we were like it took a lot convincing to do what the show show and you were like you’re not sure about it cuz it is very much putting yourself out there like yeah and it’s very very personal I’m [ __ ] off for sex off there okay all right mecky short

Me you know mecky the guy lost away from taking meth what what do you we go get some yeah what do you want to do I have show half s but until then oh do you only wa one okay we’re getting picked up at 7 uh sh comedy.com for tickets

For for my show I see yeah shanet for mine shine. net for mine shine. net shine on me the tech yep shine.net yeah clear it out just buy anything [ __ ] wipe P out doesn’t matter what it is say select all can’t tiets for all all somay

For it boys uh thanks to n for producing this and sitting over there like a like that’ be like a if you got like a side profile picture of him like wewe like album cover that would be nice Alum do like a Jack Johnson type music yeah that

Should be the black and white full of your autobiography yes just in the middle Nile in the coffin yeah you look like you’ve just dropped the sign of the summer like yeah yeah loves it the autobiography this is the guy behind your favorite albums yeah you know uh yeah so thanks thanks to

Everyone for everything and let’s go for it 3:00 yeah go for a we dip now you’re trying to do he’s trying to get you into the cult oh I’m so innocent yeah there’s three two minutes two it actually is two minutes to three uh guys thank you very

Much for watching for listening see you next time all the best