Crouchys Secret Life as a Content Creator EXPOSED

On today’s episode of the Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are coming (almost) live and direct from their brand new podcast studio. After months of having her posh living room trashed, Abbey has pulled rank and decided enough is enough.

But fear not, it may be a new studio, but it is the same old Therapy Crouch. Abbey and Pete are digging deep this week, where we hear about Pete’s secret life as a ‘content creator’ and Abbey’s best selling novel from a former life also makes a reappearance.

The gang go slightly off-piste in this one as a fit of the giggles rips through the studio like a bull in a china shop and leaving Abbey and Pete unable to get their words out.

In the weekly whine club, we hear from a proud father who was able to successfully use the GROW UP shout this weekend when he was down watching his young lad play football, and Pete also has a moan at Abbey’s less-than-impressive technological abilities.

We also stage a very special Ask Us Anything section where we hear from you, the listener, in a no holds barred conversation where your favourite couple answer your burning questions.

Also, stick around for the Agony Abs, where Abbey is left far less than impressed with a husband whose wife has had a DIY disaster and Pete give a b*llocking to someone’s colleague who keeps on making rather anti-social lunches in the office.

Enjoy this week’s, Therapy Crouch!

00:28 Intro
03:38 Stranger Things
07:16 Start Lead Scandals
12:51 Peter Crouch: Content Creator
18:51 Abbey Clancy: Award Winning Author
25:16 Yaki-Da
31:32 Weekly Whines
37:20 Tw*ts in Lycra
40:24 Freaky Friday
43:23 Viccy Sponge
49:58 Sophie’s Choice
52:05 Desert Island Discs
54:09 Agony Abs

Ask Us Anything form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Mv3i0N5Jm1Kkjvd-4iUkpJEV1_Tisgq58siorNb9zS0/edit

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On today’s episode we’ll be talking about my former career as an author why Shabba is our new favorite word and what we get up to if we were stuck on a desert island sh sh what you mean our favorite child it’s like me and they wear them silly little Cates and coffee

Shops what’s oh don’t be stting on the this oh I think I’ll go for this one because this is for um photographers and content creators AB become the spokesperson for UFOs and welcome to the therapy Crouch with me Abby clany me Peter Crouch um just I

Just want to you know for any of our Eagle ey fans out there who might be noticing a bit of difference in the set we have took charge I’ve took the plunge and I had to move out of our house cuz Ross after you dragging them suitcases

Through my hallway with all our gear in you know over my new floor you know I thought I was going to have a heart attack yeah so we’ve moved out of casassa Crouch to the Crouch and we’re now in our new studio space and thanks to Rowan Holmes who

Have kitted us out with you know a very luxurious set I’d say looks exactly the same like it’s they’ve got the brief haven’t they so Rowan you know if Rowan is the place to go if you want a bit of luxury and I think they’ve you know delivered the brief perfectly yeah yeah

This is very comfortable as well it’s actually bizly more comfortable than an half couch at home I know but I think it looks great and it’s kind of you know I feel like you know I’ve got a real job now I’m going out to work we’re in the

Office space it’s all set you know we can get you know it’s quite hard especially now it’s half time. trying to record a podcast you know we can’t keep four children two cats and two dogs quiet while recording so you know this is the perfect transition and yeah big

Shout out to Rowan who have helped us create the dream set yeah agreed agreed looks great um happy with it um Valentine’s I delivered you delivered you’re happy this year I’m very happy you know Ross the poems are back oh God did you bring them with you uh no

Unfortunately don’t worry I’m sure i’ that be memorized I got my white roses my red roses a little piece of sponge cape in a heart cut cut out himself that was that was the night before that was just what have you done Monday I’m just starting to get a bit

Suspicious why you’re being so nice to me that’s you said to me I take note of what you say on this podcast and you know I took note that you know you wanted the poems back you wanted a little bit rope more romance so all I’m doing is providing that getto romance

Get Rance that came on in the car and Pete said that was the um the best album of all time damage of all time I said it was rumors was a fantastic album a heard rumor feel and get a romance rumors you know I mean there was

A few bangers on like a r can you share a drink some what a che F do you know what I think do you know what I think we need to do so going back to the the night we had in the devire in the pub yeah and

You know you’re allowed to pick your own songs and put them on after a few drinks I cannot remember one song other than shallow I need don’t we [ __ ] know it I need to make myself a in my notes like a playlist of songs that I can put on

So you can sing them no not so I can sing them just so I can get the party started oh okay okay I’ve got I’ve got some something to bring up today well I just want to ask Ross if he had any stalkers first because seen as though he

Announced to the nation where he was going on Valentine’s Day and he is the most Incognito sex sex object on the planet stalk is no more than usual I wouldn’t say I I didn’t notice any more than I would normally down the pub so fine for me no complaints I thought that

Was brave but then people don’t actually know what he looks like so they know he’s in there he’s the international Man of Mystery they know he’s in there but they don’t actually know for the D Scout I’d be listening out to for the scous accent and the laugh yeah cuz there’s a

Few people who have slid in to my DMs declaring their love for Ross’s laugh yeah and that your DMs imagine what mine look like you are imagine what mine look like you’re not even on the ground I know I know I’m not you need to get on

It you need to get with it I know with the kids you need to like link and subscribe talking of uh talking of of being um with it God when we came in here today we said there’s obviously a lot of young people in there working and

You said are have you got a spare scart lead and the whole room said what and one of them arry I have to say had to Google what a Scott lead was I thought they were still in play I’m with you sorry yeah he’s kind of set you up there cuz

I’ll be honest that was a two-way stream can you imagine me know what scar is cuz I’ve got no idea what a [ __ ] scar lead is but since Chris we’re now mid Feb I ask all these technology Peter got um the kids oh Santa got the kids a PlayStation what [ __ ] Playstation One

Scly the worst thing is he was calling it a petrol station he said dad can you set up the petrol station right and then I was going no I need to scar need son so none of us had it right but I’ve been listening to this since Christmas this

Scar lead so when it come in I thought there’s wires everywhere you must have a spare scar lead knocking about what is it that we need then to set up this bloody PlayStation HDMI cable but so so am I right I’ve got a box labeled in

You’ve seen it Ross in the cupboard in the kitchen I have got a whole box labeled wires and leads can I can I just clarify it’s a scar lead out of fashion now is there no there’s no such things as a scar lead I don’t even think they’d plug into a mod

And tell Ser I don’t think so I wouldn’t know I think it’s like something you’d put on the back of like an Atari or the PlayStation Atari yeah like the old school games and stuff um I I yeah that’s news to me I I I didn’t know I

Remember that word growing up though scarly or was you to say yeah I think I think it’s hated my cable now yeah every day is a school day I’m glad he cleared that up yeah all right well not going to be able to listen I I need

A HDMI lead now to fix Petra station good job we’ve got Lee our Builder coming around next week it’s just like Lee can you come and change your B the build up Lee can you plug on cuz obviously I’ve got all my furniture back now yeah it’s back with a vengeance

With a Vengeance and I’ve moved stuff around and something’s not quite right so Andrew Martin has to come around on Thursday and just to save the day to save the day bet loves them text I’m like Martin I need you my house looks weird so I I’ve got to get something off

My chest is this a wine no ab’s become the spokesperson for UFOs so all UFO people are getting in touch with ab and saying um yep it’s okay I know you’re not crazy you’re with us sister yeah she’s now you’re now the the UFO spok you know what I’m happy

With that but the thing is I don’t understand why I was on the front of every single newspaper how I’m left shaken and terrified um because of my encounter with the UFO if you listen back to our podcast I said quote I’m not saying it was a UFO that I saw per

Se however it was very unusual these light three lights in a formation that all you know flew off in a different excuse me flew off in a different direction at the end you know it’s not nice waking up in the morning on the front of the paper that I’m shaken up by

UFOs it’s hilar p think so funny but it’s it could be worse could be worse has been worse could be a lot worse however just makes me laugh well listen you know you you said something that you know but people have resonated with and there’s obviously a lot of UFOs out

There you know what I mean there’s people that believe in it and you know they called uaps aren’t they know yeah yeah identifi theal phenomena call an O anyway you’re listen you’ve you’ve uh brought light to the subject of aliens and UFOs this could be a whole new

Career for you you could seems like a lot of people I’m feeling it I’m feeling the alien alien love huh there’s a lot of love for you being the you know cuz they need someone like you with a Prof to get adopted aded abducted SC for

That no now I’m scared that I’m going to [ __ ] aliens are going to come to me and get why because you’re talking about them yeah or maybe they don’t want to be found and you’re the one promoting their reality zap me and I’ll be lying in a

Field next to a dead cow the thing is it’s not a field it’s always a corn field is it yeah he wouldn’t be it have to be a crop field CU aliens only go into crop Fields funny that when people who have like tractors who can make make circles

In vast that’s the only place they hang around even ET was in a cro field would mhm he was in bloody thingy Back Garden yeah don’t you remember he went into the crop field that’s where he found them ran in yeah it’s like the aliens only go near crop field for some

Reason maybe that’s what they eat they can only get photographed by grainy cameras as well now that in this day and age we’ve got HD phones we still can’t we still can’t get a clear picture 4K yeah unbelievable 6K okay so you got any weekly wines for me I’ve got a couple to

Honest come on hit me then have you really was the other day obviously we I went down to McLaren which was amazing I have to say it’s in woking uh we met Lando Norris obviously on the on the better podcast I do I was calling him Lorenzo Torres Lorenzo

Torres wow it’s great name Dad wish was dad was like never heard of him he must be a new driver Lorenzo Torres you you got so you got crossed Lando Norris Lando Norris fando Tes obviously we had a great day but I got the opportunity to drive a McLaren

Car McLaren Technology Center it’s called which was incredible saw Aton senna’s car um that he actually won the the world championship Lewis Hamilton’s car oh my God it was it was a great experience but obviously when I was driving AB knew I was driving it was a

Rainy day on a rainy day she knew I was in in McLaren Lando Norris a bit of speed going on and then she’s called me and gone um have you sorted the life insurance to know we a stud if anything happen she called me be S enjoy right yeah that’s it’s all all

Covered put the pedal to the metal piece make sure you beat everyone make sure you win I was joking but then I suddenly oh [ __ ] hell it’s not that wet Pete get yourself out there son enjoy I haven’t got a Need for Speed at

All no no I’m just not a a a fast driver no say that again no as long as he wins the race exactly that well I’ve normally got a whole uh load of precious cargo haven’t I my kids that’s true and I also like to drive slowly so I can look and

Shop Windows I’ve never seen anything like her driving the driving experience with ab’s mad cuz I’m watching the road in the passenger seat but she’s not and she’s driving so she’ll be like looking in shops and like just you know just break you can go oh my God

Am and like there’s a c of people behind believe she believe I just beep them back [ __ ] off [ __ ] off what green light piss off you remember that guy was beeping me loads and I went mental at him was it on the roof and he was like

Oh I was just tell you your um hazards are on I was like oh God I’m so sorry road rage yeah a little bit of road rage you too like what the [ __ ] do you want literally oh I’m so sorry I’m so sorry off prop SC

Son so today we missed the train yeah because people was trying to set up a new iPad which took from 7:00 a.m. till quter to 9: gathered that we’re not really very technical leave it to setting up a new iPad I tried I’m trying trying so Pete was trying to set up the

IPad and we needed more storage and obviously when you go online you can see you know it’s $5.99 a month for two yeah yeah what two two terabytes right and it said good for families yeah it was and then the next one was terab and Pete was

Like oh I think I’ll go for this one because this is for um photographers and content creators being serious one of the funniest things I’ve has ever come out can you hear me out right I please hear me out content creat he still three photos on his

Phone don’t want to be this person so please hear me out and you have to not interrupt because I don’t want to be tarnished with this brush um I don’t think that I’m a photographer all content creator but the first one was two terabytes right and it said I don’t

Even know what a [ __ ] terabyte is but the first said good for families and I said great we’ll take that one so but it was I so much storage that we didn’t it it wasn’t enough so I said we need we’re going to need to go for this one this

One says photographers and content creators and I’ve seen ab’s face prick up go pardon and I went I wish I hadn’t said it but I had and I I don’t for one second think I’m a content creator right I’m not a [ __ ] [ __ ] well you are yeah yeah but

There even if I even if I was right imagine if someone said to me uh what do you do now after football I me uh just a content creator that’s what you should fill in on your occation do you put expect a punch in face if if I what do

You put on your occupation that’s what that’s my problem all of it’s twatty author bestelling author you just said podcast extraord we just met someone didn’t say that he did we just met someone in the bloody tube who said oh hi my sister did the cover to your book and then you know

I was talking about it to our Johnny went oh I saw Caris did that and Pete said oh I have got multiple books I did not say that yeah what did you say then I’m not a book wanker what did did you say no I I said that you know there was

A couple of books off which one don’t get book jealousy I haven’t got book jealousy I haven’t got book jealousy oh I think we should bring your original biography back we should bring what was your novel called let’s bring that one back stop it a night with what was it called what’s

This oh nothing I’ve got a novel out no way shut up never did this oh God shut up you hold on you had a go at me call me a book one [ __ ] book W caress it’s it’s like 10 years old I brought a novel out no you didn’t are you [ __ ]

Serious you never told me this what was it called Google it I can’t even remember the name I think it was called Wish Upon a Star cuz I read it know it was and can someone Google it it’s called something Wishing on a star oh

God it was about this girl who wanted to be a pop it basically me basically you it was can you just find out what it’s called it’s called remember my name do you know what do you know what we should do it’s called Remember read the chapter each week yeah great

100% 100% right so we’ve all done we’ve all done things all done like you know you were lying in a bloody bathtub of Rose pet Rose Pets the other day so can’t don’t deflect wer don’t deflect just cuz you’re a book wanker as well and I’ve exposed you for being a book

Wanker I’m going to get this book right and we’re going to we’re going to read a chapter every every um session oh yeah it it was called remember my name and it was a fictional novel SL slightly it was about a girl who wanted to be a pop star

And you know she fell in love with the uh bad boy bad boy bad boy football semi- autobiographer yeah was basically my life story B don’t I’ve ever been described as that well I’ll take it v diesle i described you as a bad boy this morning when you

Were ordering 18 terabytes on online yeah that’s just how I roll now like two terabytes [ __ ] it give me eight cuz I’m content creating bloody hell uh right so my trusty assistant has just uh passed me our laptop thanks Harry remember my name BR before ho you know

On this pod Remember My Name by Abby Clancy uh since owning the stage in our High School Musical Jessica Malone has dreamed of being a star now 22 and singing Disney songs at children’s parties it’s the closest She’s Come which can have surprising benefits when she meets the gorgeous Jack

Duncan not only is Jack very easy on the eye he’s head H like a donkey he’s head of talent for Star maker records and impressed by Jess’s beautiful voice wasting no time Jack persuades Jess to join him in London once at Star maker however Jess is making more tea

Than music sold it to me always a waitress never a guest at celebrity parties until the night that Jack’s biggest star can’t go on stage before she knows what’s happen Jess has ditched her tray of canopies for a microphone and give the best performance of shallow she has ever given it is slightly

Autobiographer give me STS born B you know you know it’s it’s come from the heart you know I wrote this I wrote it it’s it’s my story it is your story and write what you know write what you know it’s great ah superb bab you know what

And I as much as I’m giving up grief here I read it from from front to back and enjoyed every moment of it front to back I’ll read you from front to back you are a front is it yeah it did well it was good

It was a good book it was I enjoyed it well we should definitely start reading that out in the Pod just the odd chapter in there just for a little laugh oh God superb yeah absolutely unreal is it love it you just Ross is gone Ross is gone we’ve lost him 357 on

Amazon have you ordered one why is it £357 on Amazon I’ve got a good idea why I thought it was great you know good you I might get me eye wiped in my P great everything everything is a part of your journey it was right at the time it

Felt good it’s you know it’s Escapist didn’t do Bloody um 50 Shades of Gray any or bloody Bridget Jones do you know what I mean yes escapism what’s her name who who wrote Bridget Jones and he wor reading out is is a couple of reviews terrible book gave up after about

15% you are joking really enjoyed this book I don’t read a lot by but read that on holiday and really enjoyed it for the Casual reading good did the first one really say terrible book Terrible book finished up 15% what you mean 15% s read really enjoyed this book hoping for

Another romance mixed with the desire a fantastic hard to put down book thly recommend it Peter sorry my weekly wine comes in perfectly we missed the train so we had to drive to to another train station then Peete goes oh my God I’m like what what what’s

Happened he’s like me golf clubs are in the boot of the car so he’s petrified that the car’s going to get stolen with his golf clubs in the car and said he’d rather lose it um as life than L these golf clubs so then he was contemplating carrying the the golf

Clubs with them on the train and on the tube and bearing in mind these are customade extra length going on golf clubs I could not believe the palava I would to view this morning you know how pathetic you are I was sick you wanted them to get stolen didn’t you what’s the

Matter of you I like it means a lot to me like what if you know all the [ __ ] stuff you like got you know I wouldn’t want it to get stolen you know I I had um an accident once when I was young in my mini and I had this bbery leather Mac

In the car and my car got taken away to the pound and when I got it back back me leather Mac was gone oh my God never been so upset got we got a car stolen once right always remember this he I went to pick up from the pound Charon

Freaking pound and to go mil was there got there and The Cheeky bastard who stole the car and taken his mes out for dinner and then and then just left it so he’s he’s he’s obviously nicked it there’s a his M coats hanging up in the

Back like a big fur coat and all this all his Tunes were all like lined up and there’s a receipt for like dinner so he’s gone all have that nicked it his took a girl out and then just still wear that coat today and then just left

There got B like who’s is this coat like bad then there was receipts like just m that’s cheeky bastard cheeky more from than Blackville stolen R yeah oh my go sh nightmare w picked up day actually a really good um decoy of an affair tell me about

It oh my God you going to look into that now bet you did don’t me like that would have said it on the Pod I had the funniest time when I was pregnant and I went out with my friend lib we went for lunch boozy lunch for everyone else not

Me cuz obviously I was pregnant and I’d park my car in a road and there was 10 of the same car as mine in the road and my car had gone and I was Stone Cold Suber and I was like lib that’s not my car so I was

She made me like beep every car and we got papped doing it as well like Paparazzi took pictures of us and it was like Dude where’s my car I mean like that I was like trying to hold her up because she was so pissed I was pregnant

My car got towed away and was in the compound do you remember that fun babyin baby brain yeah real I’ve been getting a lot of love for my um Welsh national anthem singing the other day Ross do you know about this yeah um my dialect was correct I had so

Many Welsh people big up to my um my Welsh fans it’s my crew gu I do like whales I sang it apparently I sang it quite well they said the di do another little rendition do you know Miss Dyson got in touch did see that yeah my old teacher

Miss Dyson got a touch apparently it was her that taught us it for Mr evans’s leaving due so she she taken the credit for it no it was a joint decision pretty sure Mr Evans but everyone’s all the Welsh people that listen to this podcast are loving Mr Evans for like making us

All English learn it cuz there’s a lot of wor people out there I didn’t realize that actually don’t know it but you do you know the um British national yeah of course are you used to sing it us to sing it quite regularly in fact when I

Was playing for England you did every game I think that’s a funny thing about the you know when you go abroad we go into like a city break or something and we get in a cab and we’re like what’s that building there what’s that and like all the cab drivers and

The locals know the all the history about their particular City but I went to London and someone El be like I’m GNA [ __ ] CL do you know do you know so true when you get when like when you do go from the airport expect them to be historians

They tell you exactly oh my god do you remember that black cab we got in the other day we got into this black he was unbelievable I’ll set the scene we got into the black this black Hab torrential rain again kids were kicking off big

Time we were on our way to see Wicked Jack was cried for 2 hours and we got into this cab and he said he was changing as um as kind of profession into like a black cab tour guide mhm I wish I knew his name and he had an app

But we lost it and it so you get into the cab you put the headphones on you drive around and he give you a tour but he was talking about what park was it and one of the Kings had an affair Green Park GRE par Green Park was Green Park

Where they so one of the wives had that he had an affair and gave his love interest flowers so his wife said I don’t want any flowers in the park that’s why it’s called Green Park oh that’s interesting yeah yeah but so many like and I was trying Sni of History

Yeah I was trying to listen to all the info through screaming kids and fighting and I I was just like I just wanted to boot the kids out the C I think I think one of them as well one of them as well which is quite interesting I think this

Is true don’t quote me on it because it might not be the right King but I think it was Henry VII and the reason why there’s parks in London is because so he could ride his horses no it wasn’t there it was it was um it was no it wasn’t I

Remember that be it was um it was definitely that he liked to hunt the deer yeah I know he was B on horses so he used to hunt on horses so he used to so that’s why there’s deers in all the parks because they deers in all the

Parks is if there’s no deers in hide park or or Green Park only richond I’m talking about and Hampton Court oh yeah yeah but like what I’m say so you’re telling me that those deers had been bred from Henry Lake so he was hunting them yeah no he rode horses in

The Parks that’s what it was and he did he hunted in them as well they he he wanted a place to haunt or I don’t know if the word hunt but he wanted a place to look at deer anyway you trying to make me out to

Be no cuz you having a go at me telling me that I was completely wrong because he didn’t want to why didn’t we put it to our list when you’re completely wrong I just ignore the fact that I know you’re wrong and let and let you crack

On ah audience wies hey Abby and Pete absolutely love the Pod I listen in work I always worry people are watching me whilst I’m in stitches laughing at you both my weekly wine is the fact my partner thinks it’s acceptable oh [ __ ] hell wow my partner thinks it’s acceptable to

Stick his finger up my bum at every opportunity while shouting Shabba from the film Dirty Grandpa not a bear bum any no no I think it’s a jokey one uh thank God any opportunity he gets uh I could be picking up the kids toys putting washing away uh walk up stairs

The L goes on it’s got to the point now where I’m constantly walking around with a clenched the worst part is the kids have even started doing it we were in as the other day and I bent over picked up a some bread from the bottom shelf my

Three-year-old stuck his finger up my mom and scream sh in public safe to say people weren’t to impressed kby from Swansea amazing your fellas are absolute genius I hate a bum SL I think it’s one of those things girls moan about but when it when it

Stops it’s a bit like like w’t slap my bum anymore you hate the bum slap no it’s there’s a time and place I would I think I finger at the bum slap shab I think that could get I do that to you we’re going to you do do that to me

Actually you never complain I know yeah I always do that when you do do that yeah like obviously fully clothed yeah yeah obviously oh God heaven forbid heaven forbid yeah I slap your ass every time I P you I think don’t I do you think yeah but that’s degrading is it

Degrading m- I think that’s all part and P of being in a relationship if I can’t do that I might as well go and [ __ ] play golf somewhere and you know not be married it’s a huge part of being married I think bum slapping yeah I

Think it’s think am I on my own it no I agree yeah I just want to say it out loud I mean if you I just think if I it’s an affectionate pet isn’t it yeah it’s it’s affectionate it’s I think if I

Saw your ass and it ass B what you me to call itnd ring piece booty booty oh I’ve got the giggles now I’ve got the giggles now um I I don’t I think it’s it’s a big part it’s just little touches isn’t it I walk past you and I

Want like on a touchy if I W you know it it is it is um being tactile wow is a thing cuz like if we have an argument and we get into bed and we’re like one side and the other side it’s not nice like not even like just

Touching each other do you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah I think it’s important part it’s like it can mentally upset you then yeah where did you stand on lack of touch where’ you stand on sh sh that would be so annoying but you

Know what is quite funny I think but I think we’ll we’ll do at least one she should go that’s good yeah sha yeah oh I think it’s genius I want I want I want some I want a him I can just relate that to when when I’m getting

Ready get out the shower get into my little area to put my makeup on and P comes over and like hugs me and stuff I’m like go away this is my zone you are not allowed in it okay um hi Pete and Abby this is more of a subconscious

Thank you than a wine last week I was watching my 13-year-old son play football like most of the British population on a Sunday morning I realized this is football related but bear with me Abby as I’m sure a lot of your listeners can relate this particular Sunday morning my son’s team

My son’s team had been given a referee who must have been no older than 15 himself it also turned out he was getting assessed by someone from the fa now throughout the entire duration of the game the opposition the opposition’s coach was moaning about every decision

Made by this poor young lad he was the type of bloke that was probably [ __ ] at football himself and he lives his wannabe football career through his child we all know the type he was probably wearing weing shim pads underneath his tracksuit he’s a listener

At the end of the game I was walking to the car with my son and I happened to pass this div as he was giving his opinion of the referee’s performance to the assessor now usually I’m the type of guy who goes to watch stands away from the other opinionated parents and lets

The kids play and the coaches coach however on this occasion I couldn’t help myself he was spouting all his he was spouting all his verbal diarrhea to the assessa and I found myself sticking up for this young lad and simply saying you want a grow up meate his reply to this

Was to shout abuse at me as his head nearly span off his shoulders to which I simply replied again grow up you could see him getting more and more annoyed so for good measure as I drove away I gave him the third grow up so thank you for

The grow up so thank you for the gift of grow up I’m sure I ruined his Sunday lunch which is the least he deserved after his treatment of this poor young ref love the pod on my dog walks perfect use of grow up yeah and if serious you

Can’t come back from it there’s no comeback there AB absolutely no comeback good on them for standing up for what’s right something that I’m always in trouble for standing up for do you know what though this is um you know not to go so technical into like into football

But at the moment right there’s a serious lack of ref referees like who on a Saturday Sunday cuz they’re getting abused by like parents and people on the sidelines imagine if you’re say a 16 17 year old kid and you want to be a

Referee right and you go on a park on a Sunday you’re getting absolutely abused it’s not on it’s like that there are referees of the future you know what I mean and like listen you know referees they weren my favorite people when I played but we need them you know those

People that abuse the referee on a on a they should get penalized I mean that’s you know he’s right there to to say grow up to him because iiss off never mind grow up no listen there’s a shortage of of ref so we need to respect the ref

Yeah I agree right hi both my weekly wine is a bit of an old but gold one but I wanted to bring a bit of a well-deserved negative attention to the pain in my ass that is cyclists in around London oh you like this one Pete

Correct I’m with you on this one I think that’s a sign of getting old when you start going oh look at that bird what a lovely bird that is in the tree and then moaning about cyclist you think what did we say what did we say my favorite Pas

Time we said something today and I thought God we’re getting old I think it was when you said let’s go to the cinema at night and I was like oh God can’t do that oh God though you know we’ll be asleep by half night God no all right

Well listen not only do they act like they own the roads cutting lanes and jumping on Pavements whenever they see fit all the while avoiding playing any bloody roadx but it’s their General arrogance air of su superiority that really gets me they think they’re cool and trendy doing their bet for the

Planet when in reality they are just [ __ ] in lightcraft and don’t get me started on the ones that cycle on the pavement the amount of times I’ve nearly knocked over by one of these electric Silent Assassin electric bikes uh it’s beyond me ban them

Now well I I do I do have an issue with with cyclists and and it’s not I don’t mind like I know they all want to be get fit and you know it’s a good way to F en there’s lots of positives to it but what

My thing is you don’t have to be a knob you literally don’t have to be you you can still do that and be and and be safe you don’t have to be a knob you don’t have to like you know try and run people over on the pavement you don’t have to

Um go through red lights whenever you feel like it you don’t have to do that one and I know the law says to do it the one where you double you double bike right double bike two strs how do you know what the because I see them they

[ __ ] double bike they do it to me on a Country Lane and you’re driving and they and and you go just go for one second just like that and then I’ll get past you but they they go no no it’s the rules it’s they told us to do it you’re

Like oh piss off and they wear them silly little cleats in coffee shops oh don’t be starting on the these cycling coffee shops you they stole in and their cleats and go I have FL FL FL God you know pet such a hat of never just a coffee just go it’s a

Frino me a double with double mil would you stand on like Hell’s Angels cyclist are they motorcyclist I know but they’re cool aren’t they it’s the issue is where we live there’s a lot of cyclists and I and I and I get it I I

Do get it and but they’re part part it’s like Pete was talking about like TV people the other day saying they all wear like people who work in TV all wear the same outfit like a p Patagonia T-shirt with the cargo shorts they all Liv in clap

Them yeah so true I’m sorry I know that when you turn up the the director’s going to have vans on um you know the the grip’s going to have cargo shorts with low with a massive belt loads of stuff on it that you needs it’ll have

Loads of tattoos as well and then the director will have kind of like they’re kind of baggy combat TR with Vans and if it’s cold it’ be Patagonia um jacket and which is you know great but that you just know that’s going to happen yeah but if you think

About it that’s where people you know people get the style inspiration from you know who they hang around where they go peers not Morgan just normal peers and um if you’re going to with these people and go oh that’s a nice t-shirt and then he’s got and then you know a

Style e chain but like a bubble yeah no just last thing on cyclist also you don’t have to wear likea it’s not you do no because you like saying I’m going to play football and a pair of ballet shoes absolutely not the case at all because with Bradley Wiggins for instance right

He’s shaving three seconds off right he needs like Coran he needs to be aerodynamic Bob from down the road right who goes a cycling on a Saturday Sunday doesn’t need to shave 3 second you could wear like a shorts and t-shirt you could wear a hoodie yeah but if you if you fa

You wear a rain jacket you could wears jeans ites it literally doesn’t matter I totally disagree with her why because you can’t you you can’t so if I went to you babe I’m going to wear light C today you put a [ __ ] whole outfit on to go to

Golf you got a belts you you put a little badge on and everything you have you know you’re you’re not wearing a Nike t-shirt or a hoodie to play golf yeah but the rules of golf are that you have to of the sport whatever sport that

Would be but Lyra looks ridiculous if I W if I came down full in full Lyra and said you do you my leggings underneath underneath my trousers so you can’t see them well as soon as I walk out the door you don’t you you can’t see you want to

Play golfing jeans or a hoodie because I’m not allowed I wouldn’t be allowed in the golf club they don’t allow you to do it it’s you have to wear you have to my I have to wear that but my problem is you love it listen it’s golf you have to

Wear like you do you have to like they won’t let you in the clubhouse without it you got to change your shoes at some places you know you got to wear suit and tie in some places but what I’m saying is on a Sunday going up Box Hill with your mates

You don’t have to wear light C I think you do because you want to be as close to your own skin as possible me mean fair enough I don’t hate all cyclists and I don’t want you to to I always want to smack the bom now when

You’re at the lights and there’s like a biking exit I just want to put my hand out the window and slap the bom you always say that sh Sha Sha I don’t know me just this Edge comes over me like and the only reason I don’t

Do it is in case they fell off the bike and got injured but I’m just Des for a little ass slap you’ve always said that I’m scared that people are going to start doing sh now can we just say this podcast does not condone shering yeah so we were going to do ask

As anything but obviously there’s a lot of stuff that we found quite amusing there um so I’m going to do it anyway and what it is with ask is like people have got in touch loads of emails and we’re going to answer their questions okay right okay so ask us anything we

Have to be as honest as possible yeah right no hold B okay okay alas says if you guys were a couple from a sitcom which one would it be and why I’ve got mine sh I know mine oh God what’s Will and Grace Will and Grace Rodney and

Cassandra Oh day oh day we’d be Will and Grace but you wouldn’t be gay Grace Will and Grace who are they oh 9 good oh I know Americans like friends kind of thing the red hair Will and Grace I think because they love each I know he’s

Gay but obviously you’re not not gay but I don’t know we’ve got the sorry we’ve got a great D joining us with the bone in its wellou wow just for a bit of um for our audio listeners thank God this is not in my house on my crane rug

Because bone we’ve got a a raw bone and a Great Dane chewing it on the white rug Rod Rodney and Cassandra I think I like Rodney and not so much Cassandra maybe but um Will and Grace I think you’re closer to Rodney and Cassandra than Will and Grace I’ll be honest Brad

Pitt and Angelina they’re not sick oh sorry well so that would have been fine what what about sh on no just not sitck the only reason what about um Monica and Chandler you know she’s neurotic she is neurotic he’s un he’s totally unfunny if you guys were in a Freaky

Friday scenario what would be the first thing Abby would do as Peter and vice versa um I think if we did a Freaky Friday exchange of each other we just carry on as usual what’s a Freaky Friday exchange of each other what is that so if your brain

Goes into a body and vice versa oh okay so we just that be you I have loads of fun always just to lower the turn no I think we should just date each other and see if we actually like each other the other way around wouldn’t you go and hang around

With like the other ones mates and see what they really think of you no I give think of me that’s a great idea that’s nice isn’t it she is but you know what I mean I’d do something like a bit more canivan oh no I wouldn’t just date each

Other you do that every day anyway it’s so boring that’s so true that is so true make C pie and we go and sit in the kitchen yeah we just do what we do and you literally just you think that would be nice to experience each other the other way

Around doesn’t Happy Valentine’s Day Freaky Friday W you are freaky I don’t mean like that I mean just to like date each other but you as me and me as you not ourselves the other way around not like that absolute freak Right Moving on next question Abby

What is your perfect tea and Cake flavor combination for bed I like a ginger and lemon and a Scottish Shore bread myself Neil I know you’re a Victoria sponge and a cup of tea right would you have Vicky sponge before bed every day really she loves a Victoria Spong I actually just

Like the sponge I was expecting you to say Rich tea yeah and Rich tea anything plain plain and buery a normal seea flavored no got to be it you know Pete makes the most incredible cup of tea cuz even now thinks I’m like 10 no

It just really you know I mean it’s like I’ll time you go go get me the remote I’ll time you oh seven no but I stun I no at night if we go to bed cuz sometimes if we get we get a little bit pish yeah at around 9 and

Go oh should we go down make a little piece of toast and then I go I’ll have another cup of tea and Pete goes you’re just doing that and I’m like no I’ll come with you yeah I’ll literally come with you stand next you and do it but I

Don’t like my own tea at all it’s too milky and horrible and I can’t change it it’s too thick where you make the best tea genuinely bizarrely like I know what she’s doing but it still makes me feel good yeah it’s not it’s not appla you make the best tea don’t

I when I when I leave this and I know that like you know think I’m a [ __ ] when I go home I I do I do you do though you do you do absolutely thanks babe okay okay next one’s Ruby this one’s good Ruby says um is there a

Reason Abby still prefers to use her maiden name interesting I don’t use my maiden name people just use it for me you know like they write things like I am terrified of UFOs and all the other [ __ ] people just call me Abby Clancy I am technically Abby Crouch however my passport is still

Clancy what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas joking my um passport is still Clancy because the guy who renewed my passport for me wrote Clancy instead of Crouch but I am Abby Crouch so everything proper is Crouch you’re an official Crouch I’m an official Crouch although un likee this

Pod you they say hi I’m a Beany and then well that’s my name isn’t it really no you I think you just it’s just never been changed is it properly you know if I sign stuff for the school it’s Abby Crouch Mrs Crouch yeah I’ve heard you introduce yourself as Mrs Crouch um

Yeah formal things seem to be Mrs Crouch don’t they formal is Crouch fun is Clancy I prefer the word Clancy to crouch though I always say this don’t I it’s a nicer word anything with an e on the end is nicer it’s less blunt but that’s like our everything in in life

Isn’t it I love the cake everything to do with you is good anything to do with me is sh stand up we are in life any bad habits the kids have got it from you okay what is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever caught the other person

Doing apart from putting the bins out in their Rosy hunting and Whitely dressing gwn that’s not embarrassing I like that I dig that probably today which is what when I was talking about the content creation I genuinely can hand on heart say Pete does not give me the ick in

Every circumstance like you know candy shop at as full cap long capacity knowing every word was a bit you know suspect but nothing that nothing that you dop nothing that you do embarrasses me like I just laugh and then we laugh together do you guys have any tattoos if

Not would you ever considering getting one and what would you get I don’t have any tattoos no Peter no it’s one of those where it became obviously every single footballer seems to have a tattoo and it kind of became my thing to kind not have one to know like when you look

Around Jud kind of I thought tattoos kind of was like you kind of stand out a little bit know I mean and I stood out by not having one yeah and I thought I’m happy with that no I I don’t think it’s there I think that’s what I was doing

That was my reason but I I think if you don’t get one when you’re a teen then you don’t yeah and then it you might get one for a midlife crisis kind of thing you know yeah we we’ve often talked about it but then I always think you

Know everyone gets like tattoos of each other’s names and that always like split up or whatever I don’t know we we talked about like having one there or something we one each but I just think I’d look like a [ __ ] yeah he would 100% you got a

Tattoo no I haven’t no I’ve thought about it as well but I don’t know what I gu my brother’s got a prawn with wings which is just ridiculous yeah you know why it suits some people you know what I mean some people look great but I I just think some

On that that person you’re more elegant Italian Riviera Chic Italian Rivier Chic M i’ quite like a tattoo but I don’t like my skin so I think if you’ve got nice skin you can have a tattoo but I’ve got like freckles and stuff so I don’t know how that would go with a

Tattoo well cover them up I like a tattoo on clear skin or like tan skin M who are the kids more most like personality wise Abby or the big dog you said um me I’d say thought you might say that that if I had to guess I’d say I’d

Say you say that yeah well what would you say would you say I think Liberty’s a lot like you exactly the the most fun child we’ve got exactly our favorite what you mean our favorite child it’s like me Sophia’s like you moody how am I moody in any way um I

Think Johnny might be probably a bit like me Johnny is like you sensitive just nice in general um and Jack’s probably a bit of a mixture of both of us I’d agree with that assessment say Sophia’s one of her kind yeah she’s a lone wolf she’s a lone wolf yeah I

Think Sophia’s probably a bit of both as well so Jack Sophia bit both yeah lib you Johnny me yeah I agree with that have either of you felt the other is not spending enough time together when you were both at the height of your careers that’s basically saying we’re in [ __ ] decline

Now yeah it’s true though when I was away with football things like that when we first got together people was obviously you know playing for England and playing for Liverpool and that did mean a lot of time of away England camps training C camps pre-season and yeah

There there were times where you know I think we wanted to be together more but couldn’t but then you know we we kind of don’t know any different do we you were very kind of understanding with that it was like you know it’s a short career we’re going to be together forever yeah

Um and that was like when I was playing for Liverpool in England it was like it’s champions league on a Tuesday you know I might be away on a Friday for the game Saturday and I was and then you might have another game and then you

Might go away from England for 10 days like there’s a lot of lot of traveling isn’t there a lot of but the flip side of that is you know most people who are working 9 to five jobs or later you know people would be home in the middle of

The day and we’d spend the majority of the day and night together so you know while there was a lot of time away you know we did compensate for that like on a on a daily basis where you come home from training and you know

We’d spend a lot of quality time and you know at that time I was in Liverpool so I was with my family and my mom and like when people was away go and go and stay back at home so that kind of softened the blow a bit but I think it’s okay

Like obviously not if you go away don’t think it’s okay if you go away from months time but like I say as long as you come home in the evening I mean I think it’s people have have you work and you come together and then hopefully weekends or you have some time together

If you’re both stranded on desert island what would be the first thing you would argue about I’d love to be stranded on a desert island I would for for a while with each other or yeah of course yeah I think that’d be fine I’ll be that’d be

Fine I think this is like a bit of a imbalance of our love what don’t you I’m getting that Vibe what it seems like I love you more than you love me right now that’s true as all no I think I I said like you wouldn’t want to

Be stuck on a desert island would you let’s be honest like yeah for a bit then what we could make Huts we could build a village oh yeah cuz you’re so handy you don’t even got a Donkey Sanctuary all you needs to Scot Le yeah do anything

What would we argue about though if we’re on desert island I think just you that General together to Long get on your tits kind of vibe like him mouth breathing all you being brush I think AB tidying up the [ __ ] Island didn’t should we just uh put that palm tree

There well Pizza Coconut goes over there Martin do you think that coconut goes with that you know see yeah great J absolute beled J just go and play golf will you okay oh come on babe we can do we can do a week on of

This oh no you can’t be upset about that well I quite enjoyed that until I realized that you don’t love me at the end I absolutely adore you you know that I think we should do more of them yeah they’re awesome yeah I enjoy them do you

Know it’s a nice little deflection from our own life and us just telling our story what people actually want to know about us yeah and going get load of these C that’s not cuz like you say we we we come up with a plan and we talk

About kind of what’s going on and but you don’t you know there might be certain things that we leave out that people can ask us so it works yeah cool story bro it’s complet [ __ ] aren you rewed what I just said in a [ __ ] way God was for our lists that aren’t

Scouts right let’s go Agony ABS hi both uh why why do people think it is perfectly acceptable to bring the most unsociable lunches known to man into the communal office like fish oh yeah no one wants to smell your tuna and Olive cheesy bake that’s been sitting in the

Fridge freezer for God knows how long to be nuked within an inch of its life then stink out the office for the rest of the afternoon if I’d have wanted to be surrounded by the smell of rotten fish I’d have stayed with my ex-wife wow don’t be bit now

A one off occasion I could possibly forgive but when it’s happening week in week out and making me feel nauseous for the rest of the afternoon I think I need to take a stand whatever happened to The Humble Hines tomato soup and cheese n sandwich Chaser or go wild and throw a

Bit of advocado on a chicken panini advocado avocado I really don’t care just as long as I’m not subjected to spelling it maybe if I get an Abes brutal response to this Agony AB I could strategically replay it in the office on full volume in hope they will listen to your pause

Of wisdom the possibilities are endless regards the Earl of Sandwich I love sandwich I don’t mind the smell of food when it smells good do you remember do you remember when I used to come home from the canteen and I’d had fish and it canteen smell when Pete used to play for

Um play football he used to come home and I I had to strip him at the door because I couldn’t let him in the house the only reason he’s very tasty I had to strip him at the door because as close stunk and I was pregnant this smells used to be the

One thing that would send me over the edge like a blood hound oh he used put the oent on every morning I’d be chucking my guts off he he’d go go downstairs and make this pesto pasta or whatever I’d be chuing my guts up so I I

Do get it I do think people do not take a lot of consideration to the um work colleagues when they are packing their lunch in the morning so do it guys yeah that’s true um could you do a brutal response I know that wasn’t your natural response could you do a brutal

One so he can play this out for to help him in theice I love food so I haven’t got a massive issue with this all right well that’s fine what would your BR response be listen up colleagues I’m [ __ ] tired of your tuna [ __ ] cheesy bake around the office I stink of

It you stink of it pack it in yeah use that well done okay dear pet Abby please may have some advice is the following a sackable offense my wife recently purchased a new dining room table for our first proper home together it’s a thing of beauty the

Table not so much the wife right now o he can piss off the sturdy rustic stained oak table should be proudly in the kitchen sadly it’s not someone who should remain nameless forgot to check a few minor details and the f piece of workmanship is stuck in our

Garage there is no way through the door any door our only hope is fil next door can you provide me a route through his garden can he rescue our dinner times can he rescue our marriage for that matter 3 months into its Innings the wedlock HS in the balance surely is this

Measurement Madness worthy of a second chance is my wife a creative genius or a Furniture fraud have either of you produced a similar misdemeanor regards Ben so what’s he saying is going to dump his wife or not so I think is from what I understand by it was a bit weirdly

Written but from what I understand is he’s bought they bought a table she’s bought a table but she hasn’t measured the the doors or whatever so they can’t get it through the house it’s stuck in the garage I think I did that the other day did you I ordered these

Bowls from this Plate Shop that I love online but I ordered what I thought was a big salad bowl and it was like a little tiny dish that you put salt in like a Raman yeah it was a little tiny and I was like oh that’ be gorgeous big

Load of pasta in you know big salad middle of the table that big it’s that big that’s got a bit of oil and B having exactly but now I don’t think that’s a sackable offense no I done the same thing I got a sofa in ports when I was

On my own before I met you I had a flat in Portsmouth but I lived on a Marina and my I bought a couch we all know I know what we all know you lived on a marina when you single so well time my absolute life

[ __ ] H I give back to go back those days um but anyway got this couch and I couldn’t obviously get through the door so Kev the Kitman retired boxer absolute unit threw it on his back and like went up a ladder [ __ ] and put it through the

Double doors what a g what a g a field days would he I think if he’s contemplating divorcing his wife over getting table measurement wrong he should he should be in the garriage not the bloody table moving on agreed that’s fair enough you never you never shouted me if I make a

Mistake like that I wouldn’t shat at you that’s true you know if I like you shat at me though cuz you don’t [ __ ] kill you because she I don’t make mistakes you sh at me 100% oh yeah if I if I imagine I imagine I just went rogue

Right and went I’m going to go couch shopping bought a couch and got it wrong number one you’d be like why the [ __ ] are you buying your own couches number two course you got it wrong cuz you can’t do it number three never do that again true sorry true agreed just our

Rolls is it what get couch shopping no just stick to your own lane I’m happy not buying couches totally fine with it well that’s not entirely true cuz you once threatened if you’re going to leave if I got another animal and you could buy your own sofa and it’d be amazing

And I was like it wouldn’t it would be horrible did you AR I remember we did that one we had a big argument yeah and uh and I said I’m going out and buy my own couch your couch be [ __ ] slam the door that was it oh well now we got a

Lovely couch Rowan we have well I enjoyed that pod yeah feel like you were a little bit giddy today I was I I got the giggles halfway through there was a few things that really tickled me and I struggled to get out of that kind of

Mindset and you’re hungry as well I can tell I am hungry but like I say it’s good to be jovial rather than you’re not yourself and you haven’t had your Snickers very good I actually really enjoyed the as me anything as well I loved it honestly listen if you want to

Send in some more it’s the therapy Crouch gmail.com sha sh sh