No. 73: Series 3: Programme 15: 13.8.83 ‘Back Soon’
Live from TVS Maidstone
Ethel Davis: Sandi Toksvig
Dawn Lodge: Andrea Arnold
Alec Simmons: Patrick Doyle
Harry Stern: Nick Staverson
Neil Buchanan
Kim Goody
Martin & Hazel Edwards: Richard Addison & Jeannie Crowther
Fred the Postman: Tony Aitken
Tony Deal the Conman: Nick Wilton
With:
David Taylor and daisy the chimpanzee
Roger McGough
Tommy Boyd
Thanks to:
Capital Radio
Graham Dene & Brian Wolfe
Peter Wright
Bev Fearn
Shelly Barker and members of South Normanton Youth Club
Longleat Safari Park
Chris Norris
Barbara Thrower
Hazel Hemmings
Paul Cox
Special Thanks to:
Karen, Catherine, Hayley, Vanessa, Jane, Russell, Simon K, Simon B, Paul B, Robert, Paul M, Julian, Kim, Tina G, Samantha, Tina F, Trudi, David, Adrian, Mark, Emma
of Senacre High School, Maidstone
Film:
Harry visits Capital Radio in London
Band:
Jo Boxers
Sandwich Quiz:
Toomy Boyd v Roger McGough
Devised & Produced by:
John Dale
Director:
J Nigel Pickard
TVS Production
© 1983 Television South plc
He hey hey get ready get on your feet get into gear and hit the street hey get moving it’s not too far you looking good as you are you never know what you see when you through that door with a 73 never seen nothing no like this place
Never be no no way never know never SE no place no similar like 73 hey you get ready get on your feet get into gear and hit the street it’s you that we want to see so get down to 73 get down to 73 hey you get down to 73
Oh hello there oh careful Hazel morning now what are those Ethel they’re the shed curtains they’ll disintegrate love when you put those in water oh no I’ve got special rejuvenating washing powder it’s a psychological washing powder it persuades the dirt to go really dunk what my Hazel oh it’s nothing Ethel
Oh Hazel what is the matter well really Ethel it’s a crying shame here you are on your hands and knees washing curtains when you’re supposed to be going on your holidays today I told you Hazel I don’t want to talk about it fancy Alex spending all your holiday money last week £
8730 £87 40 was it really 8740 oh it’s a crying shame he spent it on a good C Harry was depressed Alec rented a video camera and Harry felt much better and now Harry’s going on his holiday well Harry deserves a holiday and you don’t there we are that’s better isn’t
It anyway I suppose it is a crying shame I mean if we had gone on holiday we might have had as good a time as you had at Sunny toes I told you never to mention that place ever again it’s a crying shame wonder if those kids have got those blankets yet come
On you’re not going to be miserable on this holiday are you listen what have I told you whoops my aend I’m it’s going to fall over what a problems for right what are holidays for I mean I’m just going to forget them then when I come back start aresh and something’s bound
To turn up that’s the spirit Harry uh Harry what are these for oh so we can have a box oh yeah h hand him oh morning hey have I got something to tell you Kim’s written this really good song right you know that Kim come on I insist
It’s a send up of a Eurovision song contest number and we’re going to do it don’t tell them anymore it’s so horrible you love it oh we got too much packing to do before we do it yet anyway save it for later hi Lads all right we miss we
Missed breakfast so we go down the calf down the CF oh for you go uh do you think we can burrow a gear this morning yeah cheers good see you later so much to get no I don’t think we’ll be able to Pedal this thing we’ve
Got everything here but the kitchen s i no I thought of that oh Harry you’re so silly I told you Hazel I don’t want to talk about it anymore I know there’s a hole in here what I need is a cup of coffee come in Roger I must introduce
You to e mate oh good morning Roger MCG here morning she was here before she must be upstairs tell you what stay here and I’ll go and try and find her minute give us a hand will you Haz oh oh Hazel aren’t you taller than I thought oh
Hazel how’ you do I thought you would um my name’s eel oh I’m Roger Roger M oh Roger well so tell me uh Roger what’ you do for a living oh well I uh do this for a living puddle cat what do you think you’re playing at making
Puddles on the mat chairs and tables don’t do that it’s not much of a living but do you want a cup of coffee uh no thanks oh just as well just run out pardon run out okay you see if you’ve got social charm on Grace you can handle any unexpected
Situation it’s quite nice actually I could make clothes for all the children without sound of Musico I just want to say how Sor I spend the 874 for a good please forgive me I’m sorry I’m really sorry you have been sorry all week I have forgiven you all week I don’t mind just don’t mention it anymore but the thing is you won’t be
Able to wear your Fancy Frog for Paris I’m really sorry honest Al these are the lounge curtains oh be with them well oh than very much honestly I’m really sorry doesn’t matter I’ll tell you what I’ve made you a breakfast this morning a isn’t that nice you see Alec has been
Really sorry all week and so he’s made me breakfast four times four times this morning Alec I couldn’t eat another breakfast five times the thing is as we can’t possibly go to France I brought France here it’s a French breakfast I couldn’t eat look why don’t you eat it right and I’ll
Entertain You Do hunt and hunt the Shad okay all right right now the winners of last week’s hunt Shad still done T oh I can’t look minut it’s um Alexia Hoskin from Sol Hill in West Midland so well done as is Alexia addiction to you soon as be possibly can
Now honestly I’m really sorry I’m desperately sorry just explain about this week’s work go on just explain about this week’s word okay this week’s word has got five letters and the clue is where we should have gone on holiday unfortunately we can’t go now because because I’ve spent 87 40 and I’m I’m
Going about you are just break into the song Would you please okay if you’re looking for a we cast your eyes around the house look around and don’t be sh you only have to try and try and if you see or a c d e f g write to
Me quickly the pr will be a I hope you wait to who knows who will [Laughter] wi Wasing on the line oh oh thanks very much Ethel eating french crants just think you could have been eating those on the Champs deise tomorrow F had and
Spin I’m going to go crazy if one more person mentions about this H I think I can go mad I’m not it’s over it’s not going to happen and so we have our own I have got thousands of Roger I could watch we could dress out some kind of
Play oh there’s still going on about it we you just we’re going to have lovely entertainment here I don’t need to go to France honestly here we are you ready that could be a brilliant it’s one of my favorite 62 56 41 29 18 sa rer and his Eagles fighting for our
Freedom fly through in and outer space not to join them but to beat them rer and he’s our man hero of our nation for his adventures just be sure and stay tuned to this station come and join us all you kids for lots of fun and
Laughter as Roger ran and his men get all the crooks there after Roger and get he’s our men hero of our nation for his adventur just be sure anday tuned to the station this pry episode begins at American Eagle headquarters where Roger Ramjet is doing his inimitable readings
Of the poems of el wheeler whip snad the famous dancing car hop of petala oh boy saved by the bill Ramjet here what do you mean ramet there this is Ramjet here huh oh hello mother you’re what oh well in that case we’ll be glad to come what is it Roger
Where are we going we’re going to lar Lads my dear old mother is the star of a show and we’re invited to the opening what kind of a show is it Roger oh it’s probably a light musical comedy or perhaps a melodrama oh R I thought it
Would be an air show with stunt fllying and everything tumbling Tail Fins that’s it but mother gave up stunt flying 30 years ago that’s too dangerous for a woman her age come on gang maybe we can get there in time to stop her one for
All and all for one the Eagles Fly till the job is done and in hardly anytime at all the well-known Jets of the American Eagle Squadron landed at lak Airfield it’s just as you thought Roger look at that sign see the first annual Lawn Park Air Show staring MadCat M Ram Jed world’s oldest flying Daredevil hi Raj hello there kids glad you could make it mother I can’t let you go through with this it’s too dangerous just try
And stop me what kind of trick you going to do Mrs rjet you call me ma too Fatso well I’m just going to give him some of the old sticks you know hanging from One Wing and picking up my handkerchief with my teeth oh boy and then what then I
Come back and pick up my teeth that’s a good one ain’t chubby oh mother I insist you can’t perform those dangerous stunts especially in that thing you call an airplane don’t don’t you dare knock that Noble craft you impudent tarule excuse me for butting in
But your mother’s got to fly I got a contract here and we sold hundreds of tickets that’s telling him one shot The Show Must Go On in that case I’ll take mother’s place we wouldn’t want to disappoint the public I’ve been upstage by me own offspring oh what a bitter
Blow and so the big air show went on as announced with Roger amjet All-American good guy and devil may care flying fool taking the place of his mother the crowd roared its approval [Applause] And a thce Roger was Airborne oh I’ll show them some real Stunts boy what a show look at Roger fly who needs it suddenly there was a call from Roger on the radio help my controls are jammed I can’t steer ulating prop wash we’d better save them but before anyone else could move M Ramjet had jumped into her Antiquated a aircraft to save her
Son hang on honey Mama’s coming to the rescue it’s mother but what can she do just relax Bo mine I’ll have you down in a chiffy and exhibiting fantastic skill M Ram Jet told Roger’s PL to a safe landing mother I owe you an apology you’re a great flyer I’m sorry I spoiled
Your show spoil nothing listen to that crowd that’s the biggest hand I got since I crash landed on that rock and roll station in debuk and so another day in the life of Roger amet and the American Eagles ends happily thanks to the Flying skill of that delightful old Daredevil of the air M l of the star if rer ramj was ever in the French Eagles oh I’m sorry I mention FR I’m sorry look I don’t mind about the holiday I just wish people wouldn’t go on about it morning hi D what are you doing oh I’m just making sure my skates are okay
For my holiday oh that’s good idea oh sorry I didn’t mean to mention the word holiday it doesn’t matter really that’s fine you sure you’re going to be all right we going to be fine fful going without D we will manage fine thank you very much honestly honestly I swear if
One more person mentions about this holiday I’m really going to bad luck about the holiday isn’t it still not too late to to book for sunny toes you know they’re not that desperate Martin get you a 10% discount you J 10% of a thought in that will you stop talking
About the holiday could you please talk about something else like washing like washing right well I’ve had enough of this for one morning what are you up to Martin I have a very important meeting this morning who with Mr de oh not Tony professional com man door to door
Salesman no he didn’t do that anymore we have a high level conference where in the yard just you be careful he’s a slippery customer send your savings [Applause] Hazel it’s a you got go two to the right two to the left Kim does it matter no go anywhere you like it’s a standing There not to practice you sorry about the holiday um thanks for mentioning it Kim that’s that’s okay ale why don’t you come and play the piano for listen I know want to cheer you up playing the drums on the song this morning but having in trouble with my paradiddle oh
Don’t worry about that you just EIT the drums every now and then I’ll going have a practice uh Neil where’s Neil there I am oh great we need you on the guitar Roger’s here as well oh Roger and you can do the introductions come on this way
Certainly you thought we were meeting in your office ah well the library shut I mean the uh well I just thought you know I’ve moved nearer the action so I’ve at leased this place for the weekend what’s all this about then well to be honest Martin I’m not happy with our working
Relationship nor am I what did we get the last time we worked together peanuts yes and popcorn and ice cream yeah I’m not happy I mean don’t these people realize I’m trying to con them I’m trying to help them don’t they realize that well they’re impossible aren’t they
They’re just like the sort of clients I get in my game you know what’s that insurance ah now Insurance I’ve never understood how that works oh perfectly straightforward you so you go to the client and the client gives you the premium money oh yes yes yes then you
Take the premium and you invest it you take the money and you spend it well uh yeah when when do they get the money back well they don’t there something goes wrong that is brilliant that is brilliant you take the money spend it they don’t get it back I had no idea I
Was talking to such a big man I take my hat off to you brilliant have you uh got money out of this lot too high risk what’s the high risk you just take the money and spend it where’s the risk something goes wrong if something goes wrong just yeah
Florida Florida come on let’s get the money I don’t think you understand I understand perfectly bit of that bit of that and thank you thank you thank you and now ladies and gentlemen Miss and Madame her andam welcome to the Eurovision song contest and now all the way from the UK
That’s near England we have Kim and Harry with a beautiful song called tandem of Love okay guys on your bike one two 1 two 3 4 a pedal goes up a ped goes down as we ride the roads together the wheels go around what a wonderful sound cycling onwards forever what could be
Two two tastyacks what else could we need it’s a reaction I’ll always lead you wherever we go it’s a reaction I want you to know we’re together whereever we go left all right day all night we go the same direction the shaddle gets s about we ped some more happy just riding
Along could be Sweet on our back if you tack what else could wi it’s a reaction all lead you wherever we Go I’m right behind you I want to we’re always together where we go of Love T of I’ll be you I’ll you the to I’ll always lead you wherever you go you I want you to know reaction and I’ll always lead you wherever you go it’s a
Reaction not right behind you I want you to know tandem of love the [Applause] T that was so [Applause] good Hi friend hello e haven’t seen you for uh for ages well no I’ve been uh getting myself sorted out down at the Sorting office doing split shifts in the
Come in oh I’d love to yeah shut the door I’ll shut the door K come on in sit sit down and hear all your news yeah well how how have you been that’s the thing oh well um actually I’ve had a bit of a disappointment Fred oh oh
That’s nice well I’ve got a surprise for you I’ll give you a clue yeah all the nines uh emergency uh uh uh uh no um uh legs 11 cricket team no uh Two Fat Ladies uh my auntie edner and ATI the raffle at the postman’s ball
That’s right don’t tell me we won the case of champagne Perry no we didn’t oh and you remember the the hamper with the the the H and the tins of passion fruit we didn’t win that the his and her running shoes no we didn’t win them oh
But what else was it see there was the the cuddly toy the thing with the the um the facial and the heated no we didn’t didn’t win those what did we win only the first prize the tickets to France tickets to France it’s Fred Fred when this
Afternoon what you doing oh no I couldn’t fren why not well I mean well people will talk but only in French and nobody will understand them oh well that’s true no it’s it’s not just that it’s just well I mean I’ve got lots do around the house about the propriety of
The thing my love we could always take a chaperon there are three tickets you see three tickets yes three tickets for where oh only for France chaperon M when are you going this afternoon 1:30 I’m packed go the no wait AE minute what can’t go why
I’ve got nobody to look after the house oh oh you poor things are you still depressed about your holiday he um Fred has won three free tickets to FR but the thing is that we can’t go because we’ve got nobody to look after the house nobody to look after the house
What a shame Asel oh don’t be silly C I will just oh I love it thanks very much yeah well um let’s get the suitcases down from The Loft oh well they’re down let’s get packed and pip let’s get the qus the qus oh dear not long to go I’ve got to
Get packed uh and I got to get the tickets and I got to finish my round I’ll see you in a minute hey what’s all going on the excitement oh nothing much really it’s just that Alec and Ethel and me we’re all going to France for our
Holiday that’s great wait a minute wait a minute who’s going to look after 73 young Hazel from next door finish my delivery see you later okay see you later Fred well what’s the with you like you meant to be happy what’s the matter what about us we ain’t going on a holiday
We we’re not going to be very long are we well you can always got the park I tell you what right I’ll show you film cheer you out yeah excited can you get the blind okay Capital film yeah yeah brilliant we got sick and tired of eth will keep moaning on about getting
Stuck in London traffic so I got in touch with my good mate Brian wolf who does traffic reports in um rather an unusual way and if you don’t know what Capital Radio is it’s the biggest independent radio station in the whole of Britain it serves London which is
Over 4 million people that’s a hell of a lot of people it is it is rather unusual the way he does it too isn’t it very unusual get a load of this3 have five 5 4 3 2 1 squidy B hello um I’ve come to see gr Dean on the
Breakfast show fine your name is D LOD from 73 Okay then if you like to sign in for us yes Harry Jr nice to meet you Jr pilot how you all right not too bad Johnny what sort of plane is this Brian it’s a PA 34
Senica if you’d like to put your seat back on important yeah all right set good that’s it that’s it lock in good Wow well it’s a cloudy old morning in London Town uh showers on the way as well oh dear it’s getting worse top temperature today about 8 Centigrade 46° fah and it’s currently 4 centigrade in town at the moment right album track this is Musical Youth hello hello there you must be dor
Yeah you’re dor pleased to meet you come and sit down here thanks thanks a lot I’m also sorry it’s very crampy here so it’s a good job we’re both small thank you and we’ got a little seat for you I’ve Chuck the producer out he’s getting
The tea so we’ll have tea in a moment welcome to C thank you my mate Harry’s up with your mate Brian wolf in the flying ey oh Harry yes he’s up in the plane now and that’s a good timing actually because we’re going over to Brian he’s spotting all the jams in just
A moment oh good hey Brian isn’t that the nwest tower over there yeah it looks pretty odd doesn’t it from this angle I was going to say looking down on it rather than up it’s very big yeah so some pools over there I can see yeah
Yeah some pools and uh you got all the city underneath you the barbon and then just further along they you see Westminster it really is all out rather like a map it’s an incredible site isn’t it yeah I’d say it’s not like this in any ordinary plane is it that’s right
This is the first time I’ve ever flown before too really yeah yeah you’re very brave I thought there was going to be a couple of record players but there’s a lot more stuff what is it all is it very simple uh it is simple it has to be with
People like us you know cuz we’re a bit slow on the pickup so we have uh well in fact we have three turntables in here you’re sitting where the third one usually is but we have to get rid of that you see no don’t go cuz we don’t
Need it so that’s one G record player which is playing the record you’re listening to at the moment Musical Youth then we have the cartridge machine over here which plays all the jingles including the flying eye jingle with the hooer and everything and that’ll hell
Brown wolf right have I got be quiet now can’t be quiet don’t J here we go right so there we are that’s Heartbreaker from Musical Youth from their latest LP and their first as well really good track that I think that would make a very good single right it’s
Time to see what’s happening with London’s traffic courtesy of brown wolf from the flying eye good morning Brian how you doing up there good morning Graham not a bad day at all little bit bumpy up here but uh the weather seems to be clearing quite nicely there’s quite a wind and uh
I think we’ve got showers coming in as far as the traffic is concerned uh the two Bridges to watch out for now are Tower Bridge Northbound and voxhall Bridge they’re very slow moving indeed the rest of the bridges seem to be fairly clear uh and Victoria from
Victoria up to Park Lane is fairly solid also if you’re coming south the edgeway road not too good at all oh by the way Graham I understand that you’ve got a guest down there in the studio with you just as I’ve got Harry here with me can
I make a dedication yeah go on all right um I’d like to make a dedication for for Dawn uh for Ethel and for Alec and everyone that knows me great Harold were there any problems to begin with oh yes certainly in the first week I mean the biggest problem was I didn’t know where we were so I’ll never forget it in the first week we were told there was a big traffic jam in Lower Road
Rhve and uh that’s parallel to the Old Kent Road you see so we went sailing up the Old Kent Road and there was nothing no traffic on it and I was glibly saying you no there’s no problem at all you know and there was this huge Jam right
Next to it which we didn’t see and I got IR rate phone calls and letters and oh lot after that we took the police with us for a few months who were very helpful and then over a period of time I learned the whole thing myself right good morning to you it’s 12
Minutes 8 time for our second report from Brian wolf in the flying eye how’s the traffic looking now Brian yes gr well there’s not really much change that a 406 on the North circular Road those Road Works they’re still being a pest I’m afraid that’s still about a quarter
Of a mile tail back there and also the black wall tunnel that’s got a lot worse than when I last spoke to you that’s now running at about a mile and a quarter so uh anybody coming in that way i’ try and avoid it if you possibly can maybe go
Even further and go down the Dartford Tunnel there’s nothing much happening there and uh oh while I’ve got Harry with me let’s just see how good Harry isn’t all this do you want to go Harry go on um they’re waiting on your every word you know come on um hide Park uh I
Wouldn’t I’d avoid that and um there’s a bit over there that looks a bit congested did and um I think I saw a road back there somewhere there was rather a buildup of traffic how am I doing Brian you’re not doing very well e if you can hear me you shouldn’t be
Having any problem Harold thank you fellas so if you’re over there or to Harry’s right be careful what about that that was awful Harry awful Ethel don’t listen to him AR you’re all right yeah don’t listen e so then knee deep in wrinkles Michael as for the last time for a week okay
Well we better concentrate and get home and he’ll be here between 9 and 1200 see you Monday oh a terrible report I’ll never make a traveling report to we like at he’s such a nice bloke Brian wolf it gets up at some unearthly time in the morning to do that you know the only time when he doesn’t go up I think is
When it’s bad weather and that sort of thing what’s it like flying that little plane well I it’s not like I’ve never been in a big plane before but it it was um I think cuz you’re going over the city a lot of Heats rise and there’s a
Lot of turbulence about so you belly you’re you’re going here hey I’ve got a brilliant idea oh yeah what you give me money what no no no no you don’t understand the insurance premium the insurance premium money insurance premium what are you going on about uh well if you don’t give me money
Something’s going to happen to you what no no no insurance against all eventuality all eventuality money now we don’t want any of your trickery trickery money there’s no time for that because everybody’s going on the holidays holidays ah what uh board meeting Martin I think we W have a board meeting about
This Hazel what are those two up to never mind about them we’ve too much to do kids I want you to go down cancel the milk cancel the papers and bring me back the final bills all right go D you better go and check your roller
Skates all right we’ll do Harry Mar go and check your brakes sir Hazel finish off the laundry Hazel why are you doing the laundry I don’t really know then what do I need liver salt Kine a morphine asp CRP bandages should cover everything Al can get up to Roger Roger
Have you got those clothes please L if I go there oh thanks very much listen will you entertain me while I’m packing yes juggle Far East I’ve got one of your books here and I was wondering if you’d read me my favorite poem ah great smile
Robbery right okay this is um this is the stinkers song right we’re the stinkers we stink we’re the stinkers we think we’re the greatest wink wink we’re the best at everything we like cobwebs and Tow Jam the underneath of stones corners and shadows bruises and bones we
Like pimples and Hairy Bits dandruff and grime slithery slidy smothered in slime we like bad breath and fagin snail trails and dust cracked cups and cowpats bird plops and rust we like moaning and frowning and filling our faces fidgeting and fighting we’re really OD cases we’re the stinkers we stink we’re the stinkers
We think we’re the greatest wink wink we’re the best at every we’re the stinkers we stink we the stinkers we think we’re the greatest we’re the best oh terrific you know that how do you think of uh perms what what sort of gives you the idea I think uh reading
Stories watching television even being outside in the street and overhearing people talking in a fish and ship shop you hear someone talking it’s like being a little reporter you go and but is it a particular word or a phrase that somebody’s used sometimes people can say
Something it’s a word you start with a word and develop it or sometimes it’s a a music comes into your head have you ever set of yours to music um other people have yes when I used to be with a pop group The scaffold used to do that
In the old days yes indeed um do you think anybody could become a poet or is it a very special gift that you’ve got to her I don’t know but I think um I think no one says you’re a poet I think you decide yourself but that’s what I
Want to do most of all what I want to be as a poet I want you make that sort of PCT with yourself you say right I’ll do that I want to be a poet I’m a poet but do you think I me do you get fed up with
People saying oh poetry it’s so stuffy I think so I mean when I was at school I didn’t uh didn’t enjoy poetry very much it seemed to be uh very difficult and very be very clever to be in to be a poet and I don’t think that’s
Necessarily true I think it’s poetry is just using what’s all around us words it starts with a word you know so do you ever get people to say what you write isn’t poetry sometimes people would say yes because they say it’s it’s funny if it makes you laugh it can’t be poetry
Poetry is very serious and poetry can be serious but it can make you laugh it tickle you Nash or something like that what’s what do you think has been the biggest influence for you when writing your poetry um I suppose all the poets really I think I always wanted to be an
Artist well I like drawing he like drawing but I real I wasn’t good enough and I wanted to be a musician and I couldn’t really play an instrument and I found just by sitting with a book doodling at words and uh and the poems came from there but your background as
Well oh excuse me a second hello maid 6 hello we have such trouble hello hello eth it’s hello D how are you I’m fine listen Neil needs some pictures cuz he’s going to do some passport pictures for your holiday ah oh well the family photo album is under the pearl barley and
Tomato mugger soup in the left hand cupboard okay thanks right it’s under the they’re in there they’re in there oh few there eth you can look handsome sometimes she looks I quite like her very shorter Neil don’t show that to them that’s a horrible picture you you r i terrible picture y hey
Hey did don’t actually need passports to go to France well not for the length of the time they’re going anyway so what I’ve done is have thought of a game better use for these photographs it’s called the mugs game and what it is you need four or five photographs now I’ve
Got these ones of dawn Alec Harry and Ethel but you can get some off the newspapers or sit off the front of the TV times something like that cuz I have good ones and what you do you got to get ones that are roughly the same size as
Each other and then you cut the face out and then you cut the face into strips across the hairline across the ey line across the nose across the mouth and across the chin and then what you do is you stick them down jumble them all up
And challenge someone to pick out one of the faces and put them back together again within 30 seconds in other words they’ve got to put the mug back together again otherwise they’re a mug in fact you can get any mug to play this game all right Martin now listen have you got
Insurance uh yeah uh no well now whatever you do do not buy insurance from Tony deal doesn’t know what he’s talking about if you want insurance come to the expert come to Martin Edwards give you a very good pension scheme all right mate I’ll remember that what’s all
This it’s a new game this mate that it’s very disrespectful you’ve been cutting up other people’s photographs cool it cool it this is the mugs game listen do you fancy a challenge I Rise to any occasion all right then I challenge you to pick Harry’s head out of this lot
Right all these jumblo bits in 30 seconds hang on oh oh hang on wait for it I’ll time you go right uh eyes oh no that’s mouth Yes work from the mouth um eyes there some eyes some eyes uh that a mouth uh nose bottom of nose uh chin yes
Top of head top of top of head oh um there we are there we are that’s that’s um world record 20 seconds uh um well what’s that that is sort of dawn LEL yes obviously you can’t obviously you can’t play the mugs game so as I can
Say is you’re a mug yourself no no no it’s poor quality photography that’s the trouble you’re working with material listen you fancy a challenge yeah all right then well I challenge you to play the mugs game what I’ll do is I’ll jumble all these up and you phone me
Here at 73 I’ll put them on a board and you’ve got to pick out one of the gang you give me the instructions over the phone but I’ll only give you 30 seconds to do it in it’s too easy you know this what you need is is something extra look
I’ve got another photograph at home which I’ll let you have and they put a bit of a spanner in the works you know make it worth doing he would wouldn’t he all right well give us a ring then now you know the number by now but don’t
Forget that code for maidon now the full number with the code is 06226 tro that’s mstone 6 oble o you know you’re not about sort of chat Neil really I like the way you just get on with things quietly I agree mate do you know I I’m really looking forward to
The next two weeks perfect peace we hope yeah time is they Leaving down on the water you find him Johnny cig and C Johnny he’s got child of the J riding at his side Johnny with the of the ground too high Johnny the me to you the about John I guess the roof a spot we can talk a lot about
Johnny it seem over the side and when you you Didn’t ain’t safe from this man called Johnny he Joh John be Johnny Man man friend a one night child of the G Johnny John I’m straighten out don’t about thing now Johnny John brother Johnny hook read the book [Applause] Johny a Man a man joh Man man man love you think you’re God Almighty but you’re not you know what you are you’re just cheap L and speaking no good M and I’m glad when I done to you you hear that I’m glad when I yeah Man When I’m dancing I forget everything I become the music the band takes me over I sing I’m the singer I play the riffs I’m the lead guitar bom boom boom I’m the bass but most of all I’m the drummer the drums I’m the drums I’m drums on
Legs the drums drums on legs the drums drums on legs the drums drums on legs drums drums on legs the beat the beat takes me over when the Music Stops it’s so quiet I can hear myself sweating that’s that’s like me isn’t it thinking oh hi Kim listen you’re going
Down the shops yeah Roger would you I’m just going to go and get those tummy pills at the chemist yeah I um I hear you’re quite some singer you know I really hear the guys seriously amazing so I love to hear give a song what now
Oh God please R oh no I couldn’t r could do it now be nice wouldn’t it I get embarrassed now I’ll do you a deal come on then if you give me a poem I’ll sing your song later easy easy okay very short this and it’s about crossing the
Street it’s called zebra Crossing there is a lollipop man at the zebra Crossing with lollipops he’s trying to lure zebras across he makes me cross I cross that’s lovely tell us some more on the way to the right now then my Polo Gear my riding gear and my high diving kit
Well diving kit yeah well Alex have a high old time in France Hey listen look what I’ve been saying for all of us really smack 73 dear number 73 here in close with this letter is the packet from your very own packet of crisps called snack 73 which found which I
Found whil I’m on holiday in crate CR had a I’m in hi de Matthew North from centry there you are very own snacks that’s pretty can’t get that here got I’ve got one here which is very complicated which says dear all at number 73 I think ethol spelled with an
O makes sound like kind of petrol should go to cows on holiday with the bank manager because she works so hard and she needs the rest love Ian Taylor well I’m getting the rest well here’s somebody else that’s been on her oh it’s done with all different bits of
Magazines here’s somebody else it’s been on holiday and it says Dear Harry I’m having a lovely time here in Spain the weather is really hot and it’s lovely and the swimming pool is Brill and the disos are too now then ah yes but we got
In at 3:30 yesterday 1 and a half hour was late so we’re not allowed out for 3 Days bye now Wendy Cherry thanks Wendy three and a half one and half hours late that never do the morning still quite late pushing it a bit is it too much for
Me this aleec you’ve misunderstood we have tickets for the ferry you don’t have to swim the channel I don’t believe it this is great it’s marvelous it’s the best news ever news got a job offer brilliant brilliant why is it why is it is it it’s for an
Estate agents office a trial run oh no that’s really good yeah well that’s the sort of job I mean working a state agent that’s saf as houses you can build in that one you brilliant that’s great news listen this is bad news what’s that Tommy Boy gave me this oh
Go C dream come true oh I used to watch that you know I haven’t seen that for AG that’s because you’ve been too busy satday morning a a couple of days ago morning e morning Harry hello dawn hello Alec I’m sorry we can’t be with you at number 73 this
Morning and of course you’re going off on holiday soon right and this is the kind of fun you’re going to be able to have on Saturday mornings once we get back remember some of these moments we made dreams come true like Luke Jones wanted a box so we made him Rocky 3 and
A Half anyone can be on top of the pops if you watch the Saturday show you can have top of my Pops All Star in a big budget movie like this one one evening in Spring 1934 the famous Orient Express on its way from Zagreb to bolog we’re dusting down the just for you chair ready to spring more surprises live in the Studio yet more of the nation’s talented teachers will be Back as will our fun quizzes like you’ve got to be Joking and our prize game such as demolition derby and of course the Saturday show star guests so see you soon on Saturday Mornings watch yeah thanks for the tape Alec smash it actually um watching that that’s given me uh a very good idea oh what it idea I’m not telling you I done what I want so we’ve canceled the papers and we’ve canceled the meal yeah Mil
Wants £9 82 £9 82 was an expensive pint we had oh well so what’s that chimp doing in the yard Chimp in the yard okay I’ll get David Taylor it’s one of your relatives mon business that’ll be Fred with the tickets excuse me hey Fred get tickets hello good
Morning L do it’s your friend of mine me what you doing a production of singing in the ring no no no no no you’re going on holiday right I’m here to give you holiday cover I don’t want holiday cover I tend to get a turn n no no look all
Right how you going on Holiday by car by car you’re going to need to ensure your car against fire and theft don’t be silly T who’s going to steal my car when it’s on fire look I’ve got your best interest at heart oh I’ve heard that
Before 22% interest look E I know you and I have had our differences well you have but I promise you look you’ve got to ensure against the unexpected the only unexpected thing they’re going to happen on my holidays that you turned up you want to ensure against it how much
20 quid 10 15 uh 250 50 10 10 10 lovely 10 10 P done 10 P done I just have B now look e be serious now you have got to insure against the unexpected with this place you need insurance more than anybody can I insure against anything
Unexpected course you can that’s what insurance is all about like uh being a chimpanzee in the backyard chimpanzee in the backyard oh no go I mean I mean that’s not going to happen is it do you want a bet yeah P 10 P you’re on okay you’re kidding nope oh oh
No there she is baby I gave her a few grapes to keep her there she it Daisy come on hello Daisy here we are look what I brought I’ve been looking for you everywhere come on come come on come on daisy look at this should we tempt to
With a ban Daisy come on no more of that come on let’s have you over here where’s come on Daisy Daisy come see what she needs for here darling for you here Isn’t She Lovely I think I think or a jam sandwich even now look what
We’ve got you you want this you want this there’s a good girl there she’s quite happy there isn’t she course she is there you are sorry I’m awfully s say she’s a lovely little thing was she make a good pet no she wouldn’t make a good pet you
Know Daisy comes from a super safari park and you know it’s quite wrong for people to have exotic animals you know foreign wild animals lot of people do don’t they yes they think they’d be great fun yeah but natural fact be very wrong to do it because you know these
Animals are quite endangered now they are in danger of Disappearing they’ve got to be looked after properly and kept as a pet on its own just wouldn’t breathe wouldn’t be able to do and very important of course is that these animals when they’re a little bit older
Older than Daisy is now and she’s 3 years old could be quite dangerous they really are bad biters and very strong yeah she looks very strong she you think you’ve got a strong arm Dawn but that arm at her age now is a lot stronger
Than yours yeah is she a monkey or a chimp cuz there’s lots of these kind of oh she’s a chimp but she’s not a monkey that she’s an ape she’s no tail she’s an ape yes there are three kinds of ape that’s the chimp and the gorilla and the
Orangutan yeah and of course she comes from equatorial Africa everybody of course thinks that she lives deep in the jungle but chimpanzees quite often live quite high up on the Hills as high as 10,000 ft feet where it’s very cold at night but you know the first scientists
Who gave her a long Latin name called trodes which means cave dweller thought that these animals lived in caves well they live in Fairly dense jungle and they live very interesting lives and really they are some of the most interesting of all the animals that come
Out of Africa we’ve got awful lot to learn from them that we I wish she’d come and sit on our table try come on Daisy come on look she’s picking herself a bit does she like to eat a lot come on normally she eats in my surgery day and
Night cuz she comes to see me from time to time when she needs treatment like polio vaccination this is why I had her down at the surgery this morning because they get the same sorts of diseases as we do yeah they can get flu and Ms and chickenpox and all that sort
Of stuff so she came along just like you know little girl would do for her Jabs yeah she’s she looks very intelligent are they are they very intelligent creatures yeah there’s a bit of a dispute maybe they’re the second most intelligent animal after man or maybe the dolphin is it’s either the dolphin
Or the chimpanzee yeah she is Lovely isn’t She gorgeous there you are well do you think we should take her back then well really she should come back her owner is going to collect us soon yeah well come on are we going to go two three four oh nice grapes four five six
Six fo I think the fine wouldn’t you agree what you doing I’m practicing the estate agents bit it’s great hello who’s your friend Daisy Meet Harry oh hi Daisy very pleased to meet you see you later Harry’s got his new job as an office boy in estate agent we’re never going to he
The last of it do you fancy a job in state agents Garden very good morning I’d like to welcome all prospective house buyers to number 73 the house that I’m sure you’ll agree is Problem free even for all you shorties out there because here we have an Alpine staircase
Leading up to the beautiful stained glass window that overlooks this wonderful magnificent Kent Countryside otherwise known as the backyard now over here we have this elegant Charming Edwardian swinging door that um swings and over here on this uh for mic finish top we have the pi resistance of the house the two-way
Steam video microwave machine finished off in Te isn’t that wonderful yes it is absolutely marvelous and oh what have we got here yes we have a 6-ft piece of can you just see this I just make sure that you’ve got this this red finish Victorian rope which is
Finished off in this red TW twindly twirly bit with this elegantly Charming dingly dangly thing on the end oh and um of course the lovely Edwardian ceiling hey elegant in his eloquence uh stupendous in its stupenda and loads of other words I have to look up in the
Dictionary but I’m sure you’ll agree that this is the sort of house that dreams are made of and once in you could never ever get out a bit like cits really don’t you think that’s good do I spose what’s the matter with you I’ve never seen you like this before it’s
Pathetic do you know pathetic ah I know that it be wait a minute by the way um you haven’t forgotten the deal we made have you oh I thought you’d forgotten h no no no you remember don’t you she promised to sing for us didn’t she well all right then
But you’ll have to give us a couple of minutes okay everybody up right EO I’m upstairs right ah no it was normington wasn’t it right I want to introduce you to my very good friends Bev and Shelly and they come from from south normon youth club
All the way from Derby is that right Derby near Derby and actually in the club is an animation um Club isn’t it is that right it’s a youth club it’s a youth club but it’s animation you do animation there now big question how do you go about making an animation film oh
I don’t know not really uh Pete he was asked if he’d like to do an animation film cuz he’d done one before yeah and then he asked us if we’d like to do one we said yeah have you ever thought about doing one before no not really so it’s
The first one you’ve done yeah yeah who’s Pete the leader of the youth club yeah it’s like a Community Arts right and how did you actually go about doing the film I mean first made all sets made all sets first and models and then you painted them yeah what are the sets made
Out of is this old board or cardboard did you make this yourself you’ve done very good job one one of the figures he’s great bit pasty though yeah it’s plastic scene yeah do you ever have any problems working with models like that I mean it’s better than working with
Actors isn’t it surely not as temperamental as an actor the Eds tend to fall off yeah it’s yeah right yeah how did you actually get the them to move cuz they move in the film don’t they well you move them one step at a time for every tiet film yeah oh I see
Well should we demonstr if we demonstrate with my arm if you were filming har Harry how would you do it if you you take a photo of him yeah and then what then move it move it up a bit and then take it and then it all it’s
All like one movement oh I see so in the end result is like that when you put them all together it’s bit like Walt Disney or something like that is it brilliant it’s great really good look at the pipe cleaners skeleton there yeah yeah but what sort of equipment do you
Need could I could I do this with my little instatic no you need a l ordinary camera just Rel like CER oh I see excellent hi there what’s going on what’s going well we’ve come to an arrangement haven’t we go see as I’m looking after the house
For the next two weeks they’re going to come in and watch Roger R and if you like it listen Roger R we’ve got beyond the grave from Bev and shell oh you uh could you get the curtain just draw it a bit more yeah I know it’s closed but
Just get out that bit of light there that’s it now then roll projector keep your hair on hold your breaths cuz it’s beon shell beyond the grave wow yeah got to be good this there we go Beond Oh hello sir please stand Here W No The menu will say gred eyeballs in swamp sauce Mash brains in warm blood draa Su fingers and jilet your dinner S [Applause] terrified listen I’ve going to ask you how did you get them suitcases to fly through the air oh the on coton and you just moved them for every take at film so slowly cotton but you didn’t know that a h no I didn’t that was terrific
Scared the pants off me I tell you what you doing well actually I’m waiting for a very very important call from ah my business mipa Shield I’m not saying a word who is it but it’s very important this is most probably them now hello ah it is you
Talking about phones don’t forget our challenge the mugs game pH me on 06226 o what you so you that’s a date then great okay see you later on okay no I’ll leave them guessing Okay bye what was that har I’m not say all I’m GNA say
Is it’s a surprise it’s for the sandwich quiz and listen don’t tell eth all right yeah that kid don’t tell eth right okay hey Roger did you select a book for my holiday reading yet yeah I don’t know what sort of things you like really oh
Well um I’m going to embarrass you now cuz one of the books I’ve selected for my holiday reading is Roger’s new book which is called sky and the pie by Roger M and it’s his new collection of perms it’s smashing holiday reading I need another one right well I thought you
Might like a new book coming out called the puffing book of modern fairy tales really I’m not sure about fairy tales try this one I you like it it’s a it’s part of a story by Ted Hughes called the man one evening a farmer’s son a boy
Called Hogarth was fishing in a stream that ran down from the sea it was growing too dark to fish his hoop getting it caught up in the weeds and bushes so he stopped fishing and came up from the stream and stood listening to the owls in the wood farther up the
Valley and to the Sea behind him hush said the sea and again Hush Hush suddenly he felt a strange feeling he felt to his being watched he felt afraid he turned and looked up the Steep field to the top of the high cliff behind that Skyline was a sheer Rocky cliff in the
Sea and on that Skyline just above the edge of it in the dusk were two green lights what were two green lights doing on the top of a cliff then as Hogarth watched a huge dark figure climbed up over the cliff toop the two lights Rose into the sky they were the Giant
Figure’s Eyes a giant black figure taller than a house black and towering in the Twilight with green headlamp eyes the Iron Man there he stood on the clifftop looking Inland hogar began to run he ran and ran home home the Iron Man had come back so he got home at last
And gasping for breath he told his dad an Iron Man an Iron Man a giant his father frowned his mother grew pale his little sister began to cry his father took down his double barreled gun he believed his son he went went out he locked the door he got in
His car he drove to the next Farm but the farmer laughed he was a fat red man with a fat redmouth laugh when he stopped laughing his eyes were red too an Iron Man nonsense he said so hoggart’s father got back in the car now
It was dark and begun to rain but as he turned the car into the yard he saw a strange thing in the headlamps half a tractor lay there just half chopped clean off the other half was missing he got out of his car the tractor had been
Bitten off there were big teeth marks in the steel no explanation he was puzzled and Afraid what could have bitten a tractor in two there in the yard in the rain in the night hoggart’s father jumped into his car and drove off as fast as he could Homeward the rain
Poured down hoggart’s father drove hard the headlights lit up the road in the bushes suddenly two headlamps in the tall Treetop of the roadside ahead headlamps in a treetop how Hog’s father slowed down peering up to see what the lights might be up there in the treetop
As he slowed a giant iron foot came down in the middle of the road a foot as big as a single bed and the head lamps came closer and a giant hand reached down towards the windshield the Iron Man what happens then ah have to read
The book oh that’s a ter terrific story you’re just sitting there on the edge of your chair all the time imagine like that was P the fight sheet yet oh I’m sorry Alec I forgot it’s up there oh apologize thank listen if you go in holding you fancy I really
Oh there listen if you can hold in your findan a really good book I have a list here of every single book that’s ever been read from the highly recommendable shelf and here and Mar will answer all the letters while we’re on holiday right now I’ll give you the address it’s
Number 73 p box 73 Maidstone Kint once more that’s number 73 PBX 73 Maidstone Kint number number 73 P 73 I’m going to get him you know is my in there yes my piano player in there yes well come on get yourself to the lounge we’re doing my song in 5 minutes har NE in we haven’t got that Kim up there we can’t we’re too busy come on just one
Bab get the blind CH the pro we go maybe a good One as this thigh slapping episode begins there is an air of eager anticipation at American Eagle headquarters yank doodle Dan and D are seated in front of the television set ready to laugh their little heads off for in a few moments they’ll be seeing the one and only pinky finger America’s
Funniest comedian oh boy I can hardly wait for those wonderful jokes yeah I guess pinky is about the funniest guy in the whole world get ready to laugh it up America cuz here’s pinky thank you very much Ed you deserve a great big hand right across the
Mouth but seriously folks now Ed used to be a great athlete and he still got the feet to prove it hey I don’t have to do this for living my folks are in the Iron and Steel business my mother IR to my father’s
T uh the other day I got a dog for my kid about the best trade I ever made boy pinky finger is great no wonder he’s the highest paid Entertainer in America and as pinky finger made the entire nation rock with laughter someone else was vitally interested in him it
Was noodles Romanov and his band of no Goods boys tonight’s tonight we kidnap pinky finger and hold them for a million dollars Ransom right right yeah sure yes sure baton rou and boys and girls that’s exactly what they did as pinky finger left the TV studio noodles and his evils
Were waiting okay finger we’re putting the arm on you you guys look like you’re auditioning for Elliot n this is no laughing matter finger we’ve nailed you yes it was true pinky finger America’s greatest comedian had been kidnapped this was a national emergency and to solve this dastardly crime our
Government once again turn to Roger Ramjet internationally famed you know what and devil make your fight fool reporting sir Ramjet sometimes I think you’re America’s number one clown I want you to find pinky finger his disappearance has put our nation’s morale at an all-time low and a sad country is a Bad Country
How about putting it this way General a nation that grins together wins together how about getting out of my office and don’t return until you have a pinky to show me but even as Roger Ramjet searched for the missing Pinky the TV network tried desperately to find a
Replacement they tried other comedians I know a guy with a wooden leg named Joe what’s the name of his other leg they tried impersonators uhhuh all right you dirty rats Impressionists uhhuh all right you dirty rats jugglers all right you dirty rats meanwhile at the secret hideout of
Noodles Romanov finger I want you to tell all your jokes into this tape recorder when we’ve got a whole tape of your best jokes we’re going to sell them to your biggest rival Milton zip Milton zip that’s a last draw I don’t mind being kidnapped but when you try to
Steal my jokes you’ve gone too far help help and his luck would have it suffering soris that’s pinky Voice’s finger I mean oh well you know what I mean in a Thrice Roger entered the Crook’s Hideout and taking one of his proton energy pills he made short work of the culprits
That should do it a nice work Ramjet I’d have handled myself but my religion for bidget I’m a devout coward and so thanks to the efforts of America’s greatest hero America’s greatest comic was once more insulting his way into the hearts of a nation and my watch is on the bum
My brother-in-law is wearing it and so ends another episode of Roger Ramjet and the American Eagles I saw your last show and I’m sure it will be to Sol crime govern once again turn to rer ran oh didn’t know you were still here thought you gone to the lounge go on
Right Kim’s going to sing for us now I’ve had a few problems picked with the drumming Ethel’s a nice girl but you know okay Kim Take It Easy I knew that they were laughing behind their backs nobody of us look at our P but you say what don’t let to your girl take what we’ve it’s so EAS easy when you know how it’s all EAS Tom’s better just seems how it’s we just gone on through a little
Badness or two till good times in between and just hold hold I Won’t Let Go I want to show everybody how it can be It’s easy when you know how it It’s so easy when you know how it’s so Easy Little by Little I’m just how remembering what we must if we God it’s so EAS it’s so easy when you know how it’s not easy now so e it’s so easy when you Know It’s it’s so easy you [Applause] know break her record should talking of Records we’re going to have to break some records we 102 minutes to get to the Fairy Oh [Applause] [Applause] No hey so then we just pedal down there down there you listening down there pass Mr Patel’s and then we’re back at 73 I’m back to my job isn’t that great got a job got a job you told me didn’t you if I forgot my problems it would happen oh
I’m so pleased what are you doing I’m going to be an estate agents officer AR I I just on trial you know how to to sell houses well no but it’s dead easy like flogging and all is it nothing to you like that’s right and pay your money
Pay your money move in move in oh see I think you’ll be I’ve got the three tickets but I really think we should go through the instructions of what we have to do to get on the ferry all right what’s the first thing well first thing
We’ve got to drive to folon B folks right are we there it I haven’t started the car yet Alec okay oh listen don’t forget the antistatic if you that it’s done it’s done okay the the roof now oh di too fast there a lot of wind
Sorry is it this turning here yes that’s right right now then we approach the ferry at no more than 10 miles an hour 10 sit and check passports and tickets all right passport passports you there you go oh what I forgot to open the window oh dear and drive up the
Ramp and onto the Ferry and stop oh those Lor’s big and stop stop stop stop and we’re on the ferry on the fer oh I feel give him one of those sick bags oh thanks are we in yet there’s France Now France France and we drive down the ramp after the Lor’s
Moved sorry we drive down the ramp and onto the open road it’s funny you know everybody seems to be driving on the wrong side of the road let’s see what it says when in France always drive on the right let’s stop for a bagette are you enjoying your holiday I
Hope you’re having a nice time don’t forget to send me a postcard sh ruin the shine on the what have you done with the sick bag now the B sorry Mr got I’ve got the snakes I’ve stuck the extra one in but we won’t say who it is that’s thing I
Know it is yeah don’t don’t tell anyone ah ah first caller first hello hello who’s calling Beth cart right Beth cart right nice to hear you Beth where you calling from darling I’m wer werer oh nice place I’ll hand you over to nil okay hello Beth hello you ready to play
The mugs game and prove that you’re not a mug right I’ve decided to be a bit generous and I’m going to give you 45 seconds to do it not 30 all right right now then you’ve now got 45 seconds be to prove you’re not a mug by picking out
Harry’s head starting from now now which hairline do you want um hurry up 45 seconds number two number two number two number two right that’s number two hairline 10 seconds gone almost okay eyes very important Harry’s eyes which is Harry’s eyes B eyes which one number one number one
Right okay right noses now noses are very important right so we’ve got hairline eyes now we need a nose what you know number five number five number five oh Harry’s going to love you okay next one is a mouth right now which mouth uh four number four right four
Mouth so we’ve got about 6 seconds left F quick a chin pick a chin chin number yeah we’ve picked a chin thank you very much Beth I hate to say it but you’re a bit of a mug you did that on purpose Beth thanks for phoning looks like something at a night
Of the living dead right I’ll stick horrible hello who’s calling Billy ver Billy hi where you calling from uh stand in Belgium do you know I know me is a bad but I thought you said aend in Belgium yes I did what you’re aend yeah you can get 73 over there yes that’s
Incredible what’s the weather like over there bill um well it’s quite good hope your mom knows you’re on the phone yeah she does she does good come on stop waffling give us the give us the mug hello mate right I’m going to prove that
You’re a mug as well okay so now I want you to pick out in 45 seconds Ethel’s head from this lot starting from now now we need a hairline from you which you one uh number three number three Harry number three okay 8 seconds gone now we
Need eyes next eyes are very important pick some eyes uh five number five five right and next we’re going on to the nose we need a nose from you which nose is is the nose number two number two right 25 seconds gone we need a mouth you’re doing quite well uh we need
A mouth give us a go number three right number three two mouths then right and and next one right we finish this one off chin you’re doing very well number four number four you sure about that you sure you want number four yeah number four you said number four go well
It’s it’s nearly right it’s it’s it’s that’s what I’d probably call F DOR yes I think it’s an improvement actually Billy so I’m going to have to say Billy you’re the mug see you m thanks for phing all the way from us St that’s incred well he got this bit right but
We’ve just given her a bit of a different hairstyle up here we okay hello who’s calling Michelle sorry Michelle Michelle hi Michelle Nice said where you calling from not aend I hope no s from s where abouts in s new molden new molden right right are you ready are
You ready to play this wonderful game yeah it’s Neil hi Mo sorry Michelle right I want you to pick out Dawn’s head and you’ve got 45 seconds you ready starting from now pick a hairline number one number one one okay that was a good decision okay and next we need a set of
Eyes can you find Dawn’s eyes there number five number five okay and now we need a Hooter from you a bugle a nose um number two number two two number two what’s this one oh sorry the man can’t count we need a mouth now Michelle can you can you pick
Out a mush quite straight is it number four number four mouth come on number four mouth got 35 seconds we need a chin Sor okay and we need a chin now M go for a chin any chin any chin number hurry up hurry up number two five number two
Number two right oh well yeah that’s what you mean isn’t it that one yeah that is brilliant that’s great I said don’t so I’m going to call you Melle I’m going to call you half a mug but you did very well thanks for phing anyway SRA it’s
Brilliant hey look at the time he’s going to be here oh great who’s going to be here the special guest Ethel surprise come on right what you going to make sandwiches for me then Roger make sandwiches for you yeah go on I want for the trip hang on hang on I thought we’re
Doing the sandwich quiz you know sorry don’t I want you to close your eyes cuz this is the moment that we’ve all been waiting for close eyes it’s a brilliant surprise this got to go off for my holiday I haven’t got time Harold is it done
Yet nice to be here just made it it’s a long run I know but you just made it thanks for Roger hello pleas to meet oh well I suppose soon as you’re here we might as well then all right then so finally [Applause] El okay so for the very last time of
Asking the sandwich quiz okay got two very exciting condition conditions could I have your name please Roger MCG Roger mg what are you do there for a living Ro you’re a poet I thought you a bit of a Long Fellow okay thank you very much
Thank you very much best I can do on short no what going to have good name please daily Thompson no daily believe you live more Tommy Boy well at least you’re here on as a bit of a daily that’s good for us okay now what we’re
Going to do is we’re going to have an open question either of you can answer if you get it right you a piece of bread you go for a filling question there’s your knife if you think you know the answer bash the hilt on the gter there
And we’ll see what we can do okay first question hope you’re going to play this at home is the conga an African river or a funny dance Yes actually just in there first it is a funny Dance okay what kind of filling you going to go for a bit of a cheese filling okay Co clear a cheese question what I want you to do cuz I want you to imagine that you’re in France okay and I want you to try and buy an ice cream for
Me an ice cream I from you an ice cream or [Applause] ex not that little bit of a multilingual person there I think so there’s your piece of cheese sex myself there you go indeed okay right now an open question here’s your chance to get up Tommy either of you can
What does a palmist read trees I think you trees yes trees palm trees I think we could accept that P not quite the right some people think it’s the complete work to Charles Dickens but I think we will accept that okay I’m sorry that’s another one there that’s going over to
Ro that’s come on go go Tomy now then I’m sorry he’s got to go for a filling question before you can get another chance Tommy so who’s your filling question what kind of filling you going to go for tomatoes please tomatoes okay here’s your question what I want you to
Do I want you to do a singing telegram for me and I want you to sing wish you were here with me in 73 in 73 can’t do it now uh gu you can do it now wish you were here with me in 73 and that’s obviously why you’re a bit
Of a performing poet there but not it wasn’t it it was face no but it was actually tomato question so there’s your bits of tomato now you’re going to have to hurry yourself come on Tomy okay okay can you give me either of you can answer can you give me the French
Word can you give me the French word absolutely correct absolutely correct that was brilliantly done so there should piece of bread what kind of a filling are you going to go for Tom I know you’re very excited cheese cheese okay go very popular the cheese today here we go
There’s the piece of cheese rather a stale piece but I’m sure you won’t mind that okay what I want you to do for your filling question I want you to be a chimpanzee cleaning itself it to me oh little bit of Monkey Business going on there brilliantly done there’s your
Piece of cheese how many sandwiches we got it’s two rounds to one you’re still going to have to catch up Tommy so thank you very much what you going to open question either of you can answer apart from tea leaves what does a fortune teller also look at [Laughter]
Roger you can have that one pal thanks Crystal Ball absolutely fortunella looks of course te of allall IED went to a fortunella want you red tea bags didn’t going to give me a very good fortune now then what I want you to do is I want you to read this
Like a cat Okay I want you to pretend you’re a cat like a cat here you go I had to laugh to see the Cal run down the path and take its bath little bit of thing po I knocked up there I had to laugh to see the Cal run down the path
To take his bath oh lipo cat a Liverpool cat Liverpool cat with a me at the end I think we’ll accept that I think we’ll accept that so that’s another that’s another sandwich for you there quickly now make sandwi it’s three to one so what we’re going to
Do is we’re going to move on to current affairs I hope you’re reading your newspaper this is your chance to catch up okay if you get the question right you get a whole current sandwich okay either of you can answer bit of cheating going on there was there Ro no I’m sorry
I have to disqualified that two one no okay where are the world Athletics Championships yes either the Greek island of cost or hell stiny I’ll go for the latter go for hellsinki abely well done Tommy if you come for the island and that’s it okay he’s not getting at
All excited what I like is the calm and collected way in which we’re making the sandwiches here today so it’s two to two no the currents actually I know it’s surprising okay open question I you can answer it’s very exciting show you can Fu attention to which famous film star
Disqualified disqualified toy come which famous film star Elizabeth Taylor [Applause] absolutely so excited I feel Tommy here making very good use of his what was the question the question was which famous film St would be getting married for the eighth time the answer of course every knows Elizabeth Taylor so there your
Other good okay what now please open question neither of you can answer it’s 3 to2 come on now Roger which woman president of the sdp may be bouncing back as a Euro MP shell not conr shell Williams absolutely [Applause] correct okay here it’s three to three open question you either you can answer
How old will Lucille Ball be in one year’s time 73 absolutely correct honey cheated oh somebody put that way I don’t think we want you having your arm up there just this moment nothing okay come on now here’s your just to catch up me I know you can do it
It’s 4 to three how many Greatest Hits make up Michael Jackson’s new album you answer not correct give bonus give you a chance here come on Tommy anything except 73 or 16 shall I give it 11 18 18 okay we have to go for a tie break to
See who’s going to go B four sandwiches each why is Jamila crova known as Miss musles yes why great she won the 400 M setting a new world record of the hell syy games and also because she’s very very very mus I’m very [Applause] sorry loser Tommy before you before you get
Too excited and rush around the room again what I want you to do is I want you to do the famous squidy bun section instead of saying the vowel sound I in any answer I want you to say squidy bun here we go what would you bake with sand
A bucket and a spade but you wouldn’t eat them what would you bake with sand s s sand squidy bun absolutely correct really boy the winner of this week’s beame sandwich giz loaf Okay those of you who’s not going on holiday go Boogie with the band the rest of us let’s go thank you with the the keys will you take please take care of take have a good time enjoy I’ll send you Post a hand figures and Away with words she didn’t know much about the bees and the birds do you get me joke that you don’t want to know 3D glasses and a but a hand you don’t raise a single B your hand about the time well girl you don’t know what
You’re missing my SP at home I don’t to answer the phone please girl take a little chance but some dangerous CU your so we took a drive in my car she made me an you made me a deal keep my eyes on the road and my hands on the wheel and no UNC
Time I should never learn we ran out of gas and pass the the B she gave me a look list in my yeah what haven’t been well Joe you know what to say about breaking the ice where you’re supposed to be nice I didn’t know she plan for me
But she started to sing when she show me the queen I couldn’t believe my eyes a Time shot at the Pr Than see I’m at world I can’t talk no more she knocking at my Door I had for figures and Away with words she didn’t know much about and bir you getting me this chick don’t want to know 3 glasses head single Mind yeah what haveen been well Joe you know what to say about breaking the so to nice I didn’t know she playing for me but she started s she me the I believe my eyes a shout of The A head for fig I’m l words I can’t talk no more she’s knocking at my Door yeah
2 Comments
1:02:53 Jigsaw from the Saw franchise
Wtf is this 😂