We try to figure out why expats in Germany have such a hard time making friends.
Here is the link to the study I mentioned: https://cms.in-cdn.net/cdn/file/cms-media/public/2023-07/Expat-Insider-2023-Survey-Report.pdf
//// Subscribe and follow us on Social Media ////
YOUTUBE:
Our Wedding Filmmaking Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FilmsbyJanikandJoss
Subscribe to our VLOGGING CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/janikandjoss
JOSS’ CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/jossalmm
INSTAGRAM AND CO:
Joss and Janik IG: https://www.instagram.com/jossandjanik
Joss’ IG: https://www.instagram.com/jossalm
Janiks IG: https://www.instagram.com/janikruehl
//// Contact us ////
E-mail us: jossandjanik@gmail.com
48 Comments
Joss yo vivo en Hamburgo por ai algún día quieres hacer una reunión yo me apunto 😊
Hamburg just sucks
Hello guys!! How cool you did this video in Lübeck ❤ I live close to it but some of my best memories are in Lübeck! Joss you mentioned you wanted to create a group with international people in Hamburg, count me in! I’m from Venezuela and I moved to Germany because my husband is German (similar to your situation) and funny enough I work in Hamburg 😄 so I guess we would have plenty of things to talk about since our backgrounds are very similar! Greetings to you guys and I loved the footage of Lübeck and the beach 😆
I am German myself and I agree, at least for me it's hard to find new friends which I can actually call a "friend". It therefore is easier for me to maintain the friendships I already have.
It’s not only the country(culture) but also when you are aging,you get more selective you want more significant relationships.I live in Switzerland,and i know many people but friends is not easy,but im getting usd to it,because i spend my time with my hobbies and recently i find some fellow Christians and definitely my Faith in JESUS has help me like you can not imagine.❤Blessings to you all ❤
I know a girl from Colombia, she came to Germany with a language visa, she went with zero german skills to a tandem language school in Germany and after 1 year she spoke fluent german and had plenty of friends. In those language schools you get to know people from all over the world. So it's not only good to learn the language but also to get to know people. After she applied for a german scholarship to study in Germany and got it. She then made her master in Germany and now live in Berlin and earn a lot of money.
There were two things that actually helped me make friends in Germany – 1. Learn the language! And 2. going to a lot of different activities and giving it time – no one is waiting for you, if you choose to come to a different country it’s your responsibility to make the effort
Awww lo editaste muy lindo jossss 🥰
I am English and I think we are the same as the Germans!
I can recommend playing games on German realms to find friends in Germany 😀 But yes, being able to speak German is (mostly) necessary
I want to move to Spain or Poriugal now)
Guys, you are in the wrong place! Come to Schauren!! Here you have no chance other than make friends and people are reeeeeaaaally spontaneous 😅
A lo que ella yo creo se refiere es que, al venir de un pais como México en donde vas literal en el transporte publico, le hablas al de alado y ya es tu amigo. Es un schock cultural obviamente.
Yo tampoco me acostumbro todavia a que aqui no es tan fácil hacer amigos …. y mas tal vez porque sinceramente son frios. Uno en mexico hace bromas tontas, albureas a los otros, haces pendej….s. Es otra onda, pero diran , si no te gusta mucho alemania que haces aqui? Bueno amigos, uno viene buscando una mejor vida esa es la realidad
lübeck es my conocido por su marzipan!
baustelle gibt es überall in Deutschland hehehe
you have to try to go to Helgoland, the island!! no buses, no lastwagens
Joss!!! Me sentí tan identificada con el video. Primero que tampoco puedo andar en bicicleta y aquí en Alemania me sentía como un bicho raro. Veo niños de dos años en sus bicis y me quedo loca jaja. Y lo de lo de hacer amigos es tal y como lo describen. Yo también esperaba siempre a que me inviten y no pasaba. Y eso de estar haciendo citas para ver cuando te puedes ver con alguien me mataba!!! Pero si no lo hago así imposible quedar con alguien 🙁
I moved to the Netherlands and I totally agree. You can find tons of nice people, but they will never consider you their friend 🥲. I see it in my bf's behavior as well, he doesn't like to make new friends at all 😂
this friendship with Germans doesn't worth it. Plus Germans don't put enough effort to support this friend connection, it feels so unequal, Germans are so arrogant, they don't show their interest in this friendship. So Why should I invest my time to it? Why should I try so much for people who are not interested? There is no sense to try to do it, just find other expats, they are open to connection, they also are looking for friends and it's multicultural!
Lübeck is a very well known city and very historic.
To finde new friends has nothing to do with country, city etc. you mind has to be positiv and op3n. Once you have a friend in Germany
You will have him/her for many many years. But to keep friends is work. I wish you well.
Wenn man über das Kindergartenalter hinaus ist, erwirbt sich Freundschaft nur noch schwer, wenn es nicht ganz unmöglich ist. Spätestens bei Schuleintritt lernt das Kind, daß man niemandem trauen sollte. Daß jeder ein Spitzel sein kann (Gestapo, Stasi, VS) – warum steht ein Teufel vor der Kirchentür? -, ist uns in Fleisch und Blut übergegangen und merken es meist gar nicht. Selbst Interesse an Anderen ZEIGEN wir ja gewöhnlich nicht, und wenn, dann kommt es gewöhnlich ungeschickt heraus und wird als übergriffig aufgefaßt, da man uns Freundlichkeit gar nicht zutraut und deshalb Bösliches erwartet.
The biggest problem is that many expats do not learn the language of the country they are staying in. Some are even openly refusing to do so. If you want friendship and give the difficulty of a foreign language to the person whose country you are visiting, that is no sign of hospitality.
When I visit Germany most people are realy friendly, but I (try to) speak German, because I visit their country. The idea 'if I want something from you, I should try to speak your language' is one of the core factors of the Dutch trading spirit and of our culture. It does work.
Of course you can't learn a language for a short visit, but expats are there for years.
As someone who immigrated from Latin America to Germany almost a decade ago, I can confirm that the process of making friends is way more difficult than people think. However, many cities have almost more immigrants than locals, becoming a melting pot for many different cultures and therefore people tend to be much more open and spontaneous and less conservative.
It's not the country on itself, but more so the amount of cultural exchange that depends on each city.
I am very fortunate, I met my best friend (who is German and lives in Germany) 11 years ago this December in the Dominican Republic. I've visited her 3 times and she has visited me in Canada once. We talk all the time and her daughter is my god-daughter
Come to Gent in Belgium, if you do let me know, it’s so cool and I’ll love to meet you ❤
When I visited, I was at Oktoberfest so there were many friendly people, BUT they were very bold to what I'm accustomed to. You don't call people who you've never met dumb and that really put all of us off, felt rude but the more time we spent in the north, the more we realize they have a bold approach compared to Mexico, in Mexico you rarely say no, you sugar coat it with excuses or straight out say yes even tho it'll eventually be a no. In Germany, people just say the no.
It's hard to make friends in general as an adult. Most people are just looking to couple up or hang out with their partner.
I lived in Germany for a year as a mexican and I made some friends from different countries in my language course and I also hanged out with my german teacher, she would hang out with us many times, to eat, to the zoo to wherever we invited her, she even invited us to have dinner to her house but she said she loves to teach german so she can meet people from all over the world so maybe she's kind of different from other german people.
What was the whole story on the A.I. video? I didn't even get to watch it.
I think most people don't realise that if u move to a foreign country as an adult, it would be hard to adjust and make friends especially if there is a language and cultural barrier but if u make an effort and learn the language ofcourse u will make friends. Also it's better to have few good friends (actual friends) than have a dozen people u call friend but who really aren't true friends
I am married to a German, after 13 years in Germany I made 0 friends. Mexicans, we are very friendly and I am and I tried. Germans only wanted to know how much I made, for them is very important. You are what you have.
México siendo el número 1 y a mí me cuesta hacer amigos aquí ☹️😂
A veces siento que siempre viviste en una burbuja, eres como un cachorrito esperando que todos de acaricien y te aplaudan tus payasadas, y deberias de aprender alemán, es lo lógico si vas a vivir ahí. 😑
Ok but “ex pat” is a horrible term that makes differences between white and brown immigrants. I don’t recommend using it. 😢
Que irónico, cuando ustedes estaban saliendo y tratándose yo estaba preparando mi boda con mi actual esposo alemán, tenemos tanto en común les escribí muchas veces para reunirnos y hacernos amigos y hasta la fecha aún ni Joss ni Janik me responden 😅😂
Mexican American living in Germany for 4 years. I looooove my alone time but of course doesn’t mean I don’t want friends 😅.
I got lucky and made friends through my partner. I also made some through work. We have a child now and through play groups I have made a new friend.
I think Germans are very reserved but once they’re your friend they open up. At least this has been my experience. I also try hard to speak in German (to help improve my German and it’s their mother tongue I think they appreciate the effort).
Ur husband kinda sounds like pewdiepie 😂
🙁
I used to live in northern Ireland. If you don't get the banter and are shy at the same time or if you're particular about drink and just not go for any drink it's seen as posh, you're not worth their time which makes someone like me think they're not worth my time…. Also in the female friend area if you're not linked to a family network they're familiar with it's too risky so they don't bother. They always have to know if you're part of a community they can be comfortable with. It's a village life even in Belfast. I hated it. They need to open their minds more and dare to make friends with new people.
The end got me confused lol
Cuando vengan a Köln, podemos salir a algún lado 😊
Bonne vidéo ! Personnellement, je conseille le livre "AISANCE SOCIALE", de Nathan Stone. Le gars est psychologue et tout, il est hyper compétent. Le livre est très complet pour tout ce qui est des relations sociales, en l'amitié, au boulot, l'anxiété sociale, etc. C'est très riche, y a tout !
i love this kind of videos, are pretty funny and Janik is soo adorable 🙂
ayy Lübeck <3
Do you try Bar’s?
Dang. I live in Japan and it’s number 44. It’s true that it’s difficult to make friends. If you’re an introvert though, then it may be paradise for you. Can’t imagine the situation in Germany though. 😬
Hey guys any of you wanna hang out in Berlin? Truly asking hahaha i need friends
si tu tienes dificultades siendo así de outgoing, imagínate cómo es con nosotros los introvertidos 😣
btw. quizá no manejes bici pero manejas auto y eso es 👍👏🏽