The idiot and the bottom bottle

The third water bottle cage on the bottom of the down tube… On most bikes, it’s obvious that it’s impossible to grab a bottle down there while riding. Why, oh why did I think I could defy physics and geometry and grab it in motion on my Crux? Just look at it. Clearly there’s no space for it to disengage from the cage and avoid hitting the tire…

Midway through a spirited long-ish solo ride that I was squeezing into a busy day, I decided to reach for the forbidden fruit. I knew this was a bad idea before I even attempted it. All logic was flashing a warning sign in my psyche to not attempt this foolish maneuver. I’ve looked at my bike loaded with three water bottles numerous times and thought to myself “No way could I grab that bottom bottle while riding.” However, I saw a break in traffic on a busy road that I was crossing to get from one side of the trail to the other, and because I was in a hurry, my lack of good judgment got the best of me. Rather than stopping at the trail crossing, disengaging from my pedals, slowly reaching for my third bottle, swapping it with my empty bottle, then patiently waiting to cross the road during another break in traffic, I made one the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made in my 20 years of cycling, and it almost cost me my life.

I was determined to multitask and beat the traffic. At 15mph, I reached my hand down, touched the bottle and ever-so-slightly shimmied it out of the cage just to see if I could begin to get away with it. Before I could think “Nah, really bad idea”, I saw a sudden flash of blue sky whiz past my eyeballs followed by an immediate blackness accompanied by a crack of thunder between my ears and that uncanny sound of a bike crashing into something it’s not supposed to. 

I sprang to my feet and immediately thought “This didn’t just happen.” I looked down at my hands and felt what I thought was hot water soaking my gloves. Suddenly, my vision turned from black & white to technicolor and what I thought was hot water was blood pouring out of my face. My water bottle had been sucked out of my hand by the rubber of my tire and shot up into the fork which stopped the front wheel and pitched me over the bars onto my face. I took my helmet off and saw that I had broken the front off of it. More blood all over the trail and grass and my shoes and kit and sunglasses and everything.

911, phone call to my wife, runner on the trail helping me, paramedics arriving, cervical collar and stretcher, police taking my bike to the station, ambulance to the emergency room. All a blur. The paramedics told me that it looked like I had bit through my lip and likely broke my nose, but I was too bloody to really be able to tell. They were worried about my neck and my brain. 

What I ended up with was a shattered nose, a rip from the inside and outside of my upper lip under my nostril that needed stitches (not a bite, and thankfully not a full out hole), broken 4th and 5th metacarpals with deep bone bruises in all of my fingers on my left hand, and the worst oozing road rash I’ve ever had in my life on my face and hand. No concussion and no neck injury despite breaking my helmet. Got my nose and septum reset last week and I get the splints removed from my nostrils in two days. My broken hand is in a splint until late September.

And from what I can tell, my bike is relatively unscathed besides the right bar end breaking on my handlebars and some scratched hoods/levers. The Roval bars are still under the Roval “shit happens” two-year crash replacement policy, and I’m going to take my bike to my local Specialized dealer to give it a post-crash examination just to ensure it’s safe to ride again. I have a Specialized helmet, and will likely be able to take advantage of their crash replacement policy.

What sucks the most is this this terrible mistake has taken me away from my family, meaning my wife is pretty much on the hook for doing everything for our two year old for the next month while I recover from my broken hand as I'm unable to pick him up or perform any two-handed fine motor skills. But my helmet saved my life. I’m upright, breathing, walking, thinking, talking, and forever grateful. I get to live another day as a dad and husband and son and brother and friend and neighbor and coworker etc. That could have all ended in a split second because I was in such a hurry to shave 30 seconds off of my ride.

So. As if you really needed anyone to tell you, don’t try to grab the third water bottle. Take your time. Listen to your conscience.