Sang-protection (DOCUMENTAIRE) de Mélanie Freitas

Après une soixantaine de projection en Hauts-de-France, dont la moitié en milieu scolaire (pour des élèves de la 6ème à la terminale), le documentaire « Sang-protection » débarque enfin en ligne pour être accessible au plus grand nombre !

SYNOPSIS :
15 femmes âgées de 12 à 79 ans nous parlent de leurs premières règles, de leur relation mère-fille, du premier tampon et de leur utilisation des protections périodiques. Sur un ton léger et décalé, elles sont invitées à découvrir un éventail de protections périodiques et nous expriment leur opinion, plus ou moins convaincues sur le sujet.

Sous-titres disponibles : Français – English – Português – Deutsch – اللغة العربية

Un grand merci à toutes les participantes : Inès, Sixtine, Lucie, Delphine, Micheline, Alix, Marie-Charlotte, Marion, Erelle, Ilaf, Lucile, Aurélie, Pauline, Anne-Valérie et Lydia. Et un grand merci également à Aude et Louane qui ont participé aux entretiens.

Sang-protection est un film documentaire écrit et réalisé par Mélanie Freitas
Produit par La Fabrique d’Images sous la coordination de Julie Comon
Production cofinancée par Pictanovo – Fonds Emergence. Avec le soutien du Conseil Régional Hauts-de-France. Également soutenu par le co-financement des 71 donateurs et donatrices du financement participatif via la plateforme HelloAsso.

Réalisation et montage : Mélanie Freitas
Images et étalonnage : Adam Wacyk
Création musicale : Hadrien Langue
Voix off : Julie Fortini et Aurélie Longuein
Mixage son : Steven “Sam” Penuela
Dessins d’affiche et de générique de fin : Mélanie Erb
Sous-titres : Alizée Leblond Portes et Ilaf Haïdar

Plus d’infos sur le film via ces liens :
@melaniefreitas_monteuse
https://melanie-freitas.wixsite.com/monteuse/sang-protection
https://www.facebook.com/sangprotection

Today, you know you’re going to have a great day. And that’s because you chose your NoWays Ultra protection. Ultra efficient, ultra absorbent, NoWays Ultra absorbs up to 6 times more than a regular pad, thanks to its microfiber core. NoWays Ultra, have a fresh and safe day with full protection. We asked these women how Tampix made their lives perfect. With Tampix, it’s really perfect for skateboarding. It’s like you’re not on your period at all! With Tampix, swim without a second thought! Stay relaxed. Laugh, dance. With Tampix, life is truly perfect. Tampix it’s crazy that something so small can make life perfect. New Tampix Tampon. Oh yeh! That’s some good marketing. It’s funny because, well that’s kind of the point of ads, but… you get the feeling that… pads are always getting better. In 1998 it was the best, and then in 2020 it’s still the best. As if before, they were actually just terrible… I got my first period at 14, I think. At 11, just one week before my birthday. I haven’t had mine yet. I think I got it at 12, I guess. Yeah, that’s right, I had just turned 12. Thirteen and a half. I got my period at 15. At that age or during that time you have that conversation that comes up at some point with your other girlfriends who start talking about getting their periods and you’re still waiting for yours. I found myself full of questions, thinking again and again: am I late? am I late, is it normal, is everything okay with me? And on top of that, since I didn’t really talk about it with my mom, I was alone with all my questions. I was about 15, it was my first year of high school. Honestly, my first period was almost a relief because all my friends had already gotten theirs in middle school, even my little cousin, so I kept wondering, am I normal or not? Relieved? Not really, more like well okay, it’s really happening to me, it’s happening to me! I rushed to tell my friends like “me too, I’m a woman now!” With my giant backpack “me too, I’m a woman, yay!” Since I was a year ahead in school, all my friends already had theirs and were older than me. So I thought it was amazing, I felt like I was becoming a woman, I couldn’t wait! So I kept a diary, and the day I got my period I wrote: “Today I got my period.” I don’t know if I can talk about it, but I remember very clearly the first time I got my period. I want to say it because it’s kind of a funny situation. The first time? A disaster! I’ll tell you why it was a disaster. Because, growing up in an Eastern country, you have to understand that virginity is… oh my, very important! And they teach you from a young age that you must never have blood on your underwear. I used to go to catechism, and they organized a trip for us what do you call it? a retreat, not in the city of Lourdes, but anyway, it was a kind of pilgrimage in the mountains where we would go to mass every day, and I had a very, very, very bad cramps. I went to the toilet I saw a bloodstain on my underwear, and I started crying like it was the end of my life. I panicked, I didn’t know what it was, thankfully my friends were as chatty as me so I kind of knew what it was, but I didn’t know it would feel like that. I came out feeling really sad, Because, as I said, it’s so related to… I don’t know, like, psychologically, it was linked to a disaster. you’re not supposed to have blood on your underwear! What makes me laugh is realizing I was with the nuns when I got my period and… and the reason I want to talk about it specifically is because they congratulated me! I was crying. My mom said, “Why are you crying?”
I said, “I have blood on my underwear.” And then they went like: I don’t know what it’s called, “youhyouh” That moment really stuck with me. They congratulated me for becoming a woman, and I quote: “Congratulations, you’re a woman!” But I didn’t understand a thing! They were all so happy “Congratulations, you’ve become a woman!”
But I was completely clueless! What are you even saying? “No, but it’s natural, you’ve become a woman now and it means you can have children.” They told me all kinds of stuff, but no one had ever prepared me, it felt like a total disaster. I don’t know what it might be like for other families or other women who were prepared, but I didn’t really have that kind of friendly relationship with my mom so maybe that’s part of it too, I don’t know. My mom had explained it to me, She told me it was the end of childhood. So it made me really anxious, I didn’t want to get my period and every time we talked about it I cried. And since I was the oldest, I only had my mom’s perspective. We didn’t talk about it much, we were still in a time when it was a bit… not taboo, but a bit reserved. I was lucky to have two older sisters. So of course, I saw it before experiencing it. I was lucky to have an older sister and a mom with whom I could talk about it, we started talking about it right after primary school. Because of course she was asking questions, she was curious, and then she had her big sister too, so I think there’s something, after all, it probably depends on families and on women, but there’s a kind of rite of passage that gets shared between girls, between mothers and daughters, and I talked about it with my stepdaughter too.
It creates a kind of intimacy, suddenly you’re no longer spoken to like a little girl at least not on that topic, there’s this sort of rite of passage. For me it was truly the ultimate anxiety, I thought I wouldn’t be allowed to have fun anymore, I would have to be a woman and I really didn’t want to be a woman at 14. I thought it was lame! So even for a long time afterward, I couldn’t talk about it, even with a friend. And here I am now! What a journey, what a journey! Just a month ago I managed to use tampons for the first time. Because it was vacation, there was the pool and all that. So I really wanted to be able to do it. I really wanted to try so I could go to the pool and stuff like that, and that’s when I remembered that ads had a big influence, because Tampax was a synonym for freedom. In Syria, back in my day, for me at least, I don’t know about others, but I don’t think I ever saw a tampon there. I don’t even know if they existed. I had no idea how it was supposed to go in, I thought you just wedged it between your lips down there and hop! Done! It would absorb everything, like magic. Because in the commercials, you never see them insert anything. They just pour liquid on it so you think that’s how it works. I thought you had to wedge it in and that there were muscles, I didn’t really get it. I was in the bathroom trying, but I was so tense, it’s such a new thing I just couldn’t get the damn thing in! I was like “how do girls do this?!” Well I figured it out later… The first tampon I used was in college because I had to pose nude with a friend. But I think the second time I used one, I hurt myself a lot. Because tampons hurt when you don’t know how to insert them properly, and they hurt when you’re at the end of your period and don’t have enough flow, it’s super irritating. In fact, after just 10 minutes it was so painful, it burned inside, It was the first time I had to go to a… well no, I didn’t want to go to a gynecologist right away because I was embarrassed, I think I was 14. I don’t remember what it’s called, but a girl recently experienced one. The body reacts weirdly? At first I went to my GP because I didn’t want to see a gynecologist, then I told myself, “I really have to go” because it wasn’t getting better, I was in pain all the time even when sitting or walking, and even without my period, I was always in pain. The shock… Oh! I read about it just yesterday! Toxic shock? No. Oh no, I’ve never heard of that. Yeah, I’ve heard about it before, but that’s about it. It never worried me, I never really thought about it. I had really poor sex education especially about periods, I learned by reading anything I could get my hands on, including tampon boxes which I always read completely, well not anymore, I read all the instruction leaflets and it’s always written on them. Maybe on the box, hidden in a little fold… Oh yes, there it is! Actually I think back then, we just didn’t know, or no one had told my mom or me about it and I don’t think the doctor knew about it either. It’s been known since the 1980s in the U.S., and here in Europe we’re only starting to talk about it now! And I find that just… I don’t know, it goes against human dignity, honestly! And I was really angry. I think, I don’t want to say something wrong, but I think it has caused deaths. So it’s not nothing. It can be very dangerous, there are women who lost their legs, women who died, women who became infertile. It’s just unacceptable! Now they talk to you again about the syndrome but I think there may be a law now that makes it mandatory. How to remove it, first use, blah blah, what to choose depending on your flow. Ah ! Composition ! At least now we know what it’s made of! Purified cotton, polyethylene, rayon, polypropylene and polyester… Not exactly a dream product, huh… It makes me mad that women’s bodies are used for profit, a business that’s profitable for them, but drains our wallets, and messes us up inside. We all know that mucous membranes are the riskiest places in the body for absorbing stuff, and now they’re putting all this stuff full of chlorine, all sorts of chemicals, synthetic materials, ugh… Whoa, what is that? A surprise box? Is a clown going to…? I’m ready! There’s quite a variety, let’s say! Oh yeah, those little panty liners, I had loads of them, totally useless, They don’t absorb anything! And all the marketing around all the variations, the perfumes! There must be one with a scent in there?! It smells nice. Smells like deodorant! So now you can have your period and not stink! But! You could get sick. I’ve always loved that weird crinkling sound they make… They all have these little designs on them, and those weird materials, that’s really something I never liked at all! When I was little I had cotton pads, cellulose pads didn’t exist yet. They were made with a part that attached with a belt, and the other part was cotton, which absorbed the blood. It wasn’t discreet! But hey, we used what we had! Ah yes… now this is the Rolls-Royce of tampons! I don’t know, I’ve never seen one like this. Oh wow, I didn’t know it unfolded that much! I remember when I was younger and used tampons, some girls would say, “No way, I can’t use one without an applicator!” And I preferred without one. But… I didn’t dare say it. I think people prefer applicators because you don’t get your fingers dirty. But honestly, my vagina isn’t dirty. Neither are my fingers! But yeah, I didn’t dare say it because I thought it was dirty, that it wasn’t normal for me to prefer that option. I’d seen that before too, it was in an organic store, I’d seen washable fabric pads.. It’s like us washing our own pads again! Well, I wish them luck! I personally didn’t like it at all! You had to soak them, you had to boil them, it wasn’t always easy! Sometimes we’d forget them for a day or two… It was a handmade pad, not super complicated. I think I even cut paper pieces to get the right shape. I chose a nice fabric for the inside, something dark in case I struggled with the washing. Actually, one of them really cracks me up. It has a print with people swimming and when I’m bleeding it’s funny, it looks like the film Jaws With the little swimmers right there! Holiday-themed print, happy holidays! Jungle! Yeah I really like floral patterns. Little tropical print. This one’s a bit kitsch but oh well. Here we go again, “Jaws”, but with orcas and fish! The collection, but actually I have way more than eight! And this, this is just the mini version. Alright, let’s try to make sense of it. Ah, these are cotton tampons that you wash? It’s a washable tampon? Oh that’s funny! Must be kind of tricky to insert, right? But I didn’t even question it. Washable pads, sure, but tampons? So cool! I’m definitely going to look it up. Ah! I swear, that’s new to me. It’s a period panty! I know because my little girl asked for some for Christmas! For me, for example, if it’s really effective, it could be useful at night. To avoid the disaster of leaks everywhere. Because I swear, sometimes I’ve thought about adult diapers just because I get so stressed out about morning leaks. With my period panties I was ashamed to talk about them, well, not ashamed, but I was afraid to tell my grandmother. And when I explained what they were, she said, “Oh, that’s so cool! What a great idea, well done, amazing.” So there’s that social pressure, around what choice you make and how others are going to see it. Like my story about applicator or no applicator, there’s also that kind of social pressure around: “that’s gross” or “that’s not gross.” That’s the Cup. I don’t know how to put it in. What do you think? I think you insert it like this, right? So it can hold the blood? There’s a little folding trick you have to do to insert it properly. And then it unfolds inside. It’s made of silicone, it’s super soft. So yeah, once you get the hang of it, it’s really comfortable. Anyway, to use one of those you really have to be comfortable with your body, comfortable with blood, otherwise it’s not easy. And if I can give advice: learn to use it while in the shower. I struggled for over 6 months. And because I have a heavy flow, it’s hard. At first I thought I picked the wrong size so I bought another one. But actually, now that I’ve learned how to insert it, it’s fine. I use the size for women who’ve given birth because it’s larger, and even that’s not enough. And I’ve never given birth! The storage case for the cup? So then, aside from that, aside from the fact it can stand up? What, you put it in and just suck up all the blood at once? With an applicator? Whoa! That could be pretty revolutionary! Or maybe not? You can’t even see me anymore! Lubricate the tip of the applicator with a drop, both inside and outside. Insert the folded cup into the applicator, on the side without the threading. So… on this side, there you go. Oh wow! And then you add more lubricant. Do you have to insert it all the way? And then… It doesn’t work. I pushed it in too far. It doesn’t work at all! Amazing! Maybe I would’ve actually needed that to succeed with this experience. And then you have the other side with the threading to go retrieve it… Ah! Yes… And here? Alright… Well then, that must feel pretty strange! That’s why the lubricant! Because it probably hurts without it! You shouldn’t criticize without trying, but honestly I’d rather not spend my life screwing and unscrewing things! The invention of the Cup? No idea! Honestly, I really couldn’t say. I think it’s older than I would’ve imagined. 5 years? 5 or 6 years maybe? 5 years… I don’t think it existed when we were little. So, what is that? 1935?! Oh wow, that’s really old. They presented it like something brand new and innovative, but it’s true we had never seen stuff like that before. Well, it was never promoted like pads and tampons. And I see it was invented by a woman? Often, I mean, I’m not surprised it was a woman and that it didn’t succeed because I think patriarchal society just wasn’t interested in women’s bodily comfort. Sponges? People put sponges in there? You call it a sea sponge but the material is…? It’s a sea sponge. It’s a sea sponge. Okay, so it really is a sea sponge. One of the oldest menstrual products that exists. Yes, traditionally used since ancient times, we were saying this off, camera, that back in the day, Egyptian women used reeds. So yes! It’s true we don’t think about it, we’re immediately told there are special products and since we’re little it’s like: “You need a special product!” But in the end, you just take a sponge and it does the job. Because I think when you insert it, it adapts pretty well to the shape of your body, so that’s nice. Okay. So there’s no string, it’s… you go spelunking and, poof! Engage your pelvic muscles and remove it. Oh wow, you better train those muscles beforehand! Are you telling me these are period products? They look like whiteboard erasers! Soft tampon, normal. Oh really? JoyDivision? What’s this brand? That’s awesome! JoyDivision tampons? Alright, I’m buying them! I understand, the shape is flexible, absorbent—okay, I get the concept. But then, the material, the composition… Does that have consequences? Or do we just not know? Polyurethane… Yeah… even if it says “clinically and dermatologically tested,” doesn’t mean it’s amazing. From what I gather, looking at the icons, you can wear it in any situation, whether you’re swimming, exercising, going to the spa, but also during sex! Are you sure? Because that, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this, but with my current partner it’s something we’ve already talked about and he totally understands. It’s really great having someone you can actually talk with, someone who listens, and someone who respects you as you are. That seems super important to me. Whether he wants to or not, whether he consents to sex or not I’m not even at that point yet. But… yeah, it does make me react to that whole topic. I know it’s not a protection method, but some girls actually don’t use any products and manage their flow. They hold it in like when you need to pee. Apparently there’s a valve technique. Where some girls manage to control their flow and release it only when they’re on the toilet. Honestly, props to them, I don’t know how they do it… It seems weird to me, though… It’s weird to think we use period products when you could do that without any. I mean, it’s weird… The flow… what’s it called? I think it’s something like “instinctive flow.” It’s the idea of not needing any menstrual products anymore and just using your body, like you do with pee or poop. At the beginning of your period, you’ll have contractions, for example, spaced every 4 hours. Then, gradually they get closer together, It goes to every 2 hours, then every hour, every half hour, every 15 minutes. And that part, when it comes every 15 or 30 minutes, is actually really short. It can be one or two hours in the whole day, in the whole cycle, and then it spaces out again. So that’s the same for all women. For some, it starts spacing out right from day one, for others it’s on day two, or maybe starting from the third day… What I usually recommend is taking notes. When a woman wants to start doing this, write down every time blood flows, track how often it happens and begin from the start of the cycle to the end and write everything down, note as much as possible. One thing though, you have to be in touch with your body’s sensations. I realize that women who, for example, practice yoga, energy healing, meditation, who are used to being in touch with themselves and with subtle sensations, they’ll be able to do this more easily than women who are disconnected from their bodies, who aren’t used to listening to their body, it’s going to be a bit harder. it’s going to be a bit harder. You need a lot of muscle tone but also a lot of relaxation, and your pelvic floor has to be well-balanced for that. A woman whose pelvic floor is very tight, overly tense I’m thinking, for example, of women with vaginismus, but not only them some women don’t have any diagnosed issue, but still have a lot of tension in the pelvic area, and that’s going to make it harder, because the blood needs to be able to flow. And it’s the same the other way around a woman who lacks muscle tone in her pelvic floor will also have trouble holding the blood in. Basically, you have to be in tune with the sensation of blood as it reaches the cervix. So, when the blood gets here at the cervix, that’s when you can still hold it in, because you can contract that whole area the whole vaginal canal is muscle, it’s muscular. So you can hold it in. But if the blood reaches the vulva, there’s no sphincter at the vulva, so you can’t hold it anymore. A lot of women struggle with menstrual continence because they wait until the blood is here and then they contract super hard, but drops will still come out, you won’t be able to stop it 100%. Whereas if you’re in tune with the feeling of blood reaching here, you can actually close the vaginal canal and go to the bathroom to release it. But you can’t hold it for 4 hours either. It’s like when you have to pee: when your bladder is full, at some point, you have to go. You can’t hold it for hours and hours. And it’s the same here. You don’t need to contract super hard like that it’s not about very strong contractions. I work on contraction intensity, there are different levels, and for this you just need to close off. So it doesn’t have to be super strong. Exactly! It’s not like when you’re in class, feel it coming, and you’re like “uhh?!” And you’re just waiting for class to end… So if the toilets at school are locked, then she’s in trouble! There were issues with the bathrooms, so now they’re only open at certain times, like during recess and the lunch break; they’re not open for the two full hours. I think there were two or three 15-minute slots. That was the problem one of my students had the other day, because she needed to change her pad and said, “But the bathroom won’t be open.” If they ask, we unlock it, but it’s all very regulated, it’s not very practical. When I used to wear light-colored pants, I’d make sure… well, I felt like even if I was supposed to have heavy flow, it would feel lighter. So was that something unconscious? Or…? I think to myself, there haven’t always been tampons or pads, so how did women do it before? I’ve tried it, but I don’t really have the time. I’d need like four full days at home. But sometimes I still manage. I have a hemorrhagic flow, it’s just not feasible. That’s it. If there are stats of women with heavy flows who manage, okay, I can believe that. Yes, it works. I know because I used to have heavy periods. And it’s something I experienced, but I’ve also heard it a lot from others, that many women experienced this: menstrual continence changes your cycle. Sometimes it gets longer, sometimes shorter. Mine, for example, used to be 21 days long, and when I started menstrual continence, right from the first cycle, it became 28 days. My periods used to last a week, 8 days, now it’s only 4 days. And same with the pain women who have painful periods, once they start practicing menstrual continence, the pain often decreases. All the women I’ve taught it to, eventually manage to do it. But, like I said earlier, some women first need to work on their pelvic floor, which is why I really like combining it with a Yoni egg, to work either on relaxation or strength to get there. A woman who’s had five kids and never done pelvic rehab, and has major muscle weakness will definitely have to start with pelvic floor work first. Now that we’re talking about it, and I understand the concept and the process, you think, “Oh wow, actually, we could all do this. And I find it incredible that for something so intimate, it’s not one of the first questions we ask ourselves. Because things are imposed on us, there are already standards in place that are handed to us, and if we’re not informed, if we don’t have this kind of dialogue, this curiosity, this drive, well then we might never explore what else is out there or discover it. And that’s sad. What could we do, ourselves, to make it more known? First of all, there are no taboos. You should never be afraid or ashamed to ask questions about this topic. No fear of old beliefs there was a time when they said you shouldn’t use tampons because of virginity, that’s old thinking, but I wonder if some of it still lingers. Some women believe they’ll become sterile if they shower during their period, others believe it’s bad for the uterus itself. But I don’t know where that idea even comes from… What kind of belief or source? And for my mom and me, it was something that bothered us. “Why this weird method? Who said it was bad or something like that?” She came up to me, very shy, very awkward, and said: “Do you have a tampon or a pad?” And you see, it’s always that awkward vibe… We’re embarrassed with each other even though… we know what it is. For me, talking about periods isn’t a taboo at all. I talk about it with my mom, with my dad. It feels good to talk about it, I even talk to guy friends about it, and they feel relieved too because sometimes they have little questions, but since society tells us not to talk about it, women feel awkward, men feel awkward, but when no one’s embarrassed, it’s just a totally normal thing. Women should be able to talk freely, and guys should feel free to ask questions. Where it gets hard is when it’s truly painful. It can stop me from thinking, I can’t sleep, it’s too painful to sleep and forget the pain. And when I sit down, it locks up my back, it feels like my back is blocked. The main answer doctors give when you’re in pain and not on birth control is birth control. So when I went to my doctor and said “I’m in pain,” the answer was “you should go on the pill.” That’s not okay! It’s not normal to be in extreme pain during your period, it’s not normal to have your period several times in a month, and to me it’s important to say that, because my best friend has endometriosis and it was diagnosed way too late, so her body suffered a lot because of this disease. So we need to encourage young girls who are in pain to talk about it, so it can be diagnosed, and also encourage doctors to listen more to these girls, to help diagnose this disease, which is truly awful. The second thing is really to not feel shame or disgust about your own body or your own blood. Because that blood is literally what allows us to make babies, it’s important to remember that. We shouldn’t say “oh, she’s on her period, that’s gross.” She’s on her period, it’s normal. Today you might not have a great day. But whether it’s pads, tampons, cups, period panties, sponges, or nothing the important thing is that you’re free to choose. Because on average you’ll have 500 menstrual cycles in your life. So… you’ll have time to try things out. Subtitled by: Ilaf Haidar