Fails on wheels! The bicycle is the most efficient transport machine ever invented, but it’s far from fail-free. Which kind of cyclist are you, a BMX bandit or reckless roadster? Petition your local elementary schools to play FailArmy as an alternative for the kids afraid of recess, we’re entertaining and educational… there’s no better proof you need to wear a helmet than watching this video.

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43 Comments

  1. Modern BMXs are ridiculous:

    – Seat height adjusted as low as it will go, like you'd do for a kindergartner
    – Frame tubes that are as big around as a handrail
    – Tiny sprockets that are smaller than a CD
    – Freewheel mechanisms that sound like a swarm of angry bees
    – No brakes, like Al Bundy's "Dodge"
    – Handlebars as tall as the ape bars that were on 1970s banana seat bikes
    – Obese tires that are not only heavy but are also a couple inches bigger in diameter than the 20" that BMX tires are supposed to top out at
    -Cheap looking paint on everything; not a speck of chrome or bare polished aluminum in sight, which is the same look as when hick kids in the '80s would indiscriminately rattle-can their entire stolen or hand-me-down Kmart bikes

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