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  1. gobbler_of_butts on

    Bro is really painting us a picture this would kill in a 5th grade creative writing class.

  2. What’s that? Mountain biking takes skill? Throwing yourself down mountains on a bike is safer with experience? Treating a MTB ride like a bungee jump or something where you’re protected by safety mechanisms is just silly, there’s no substitute for skill and gravity doesn’t quit.

  3. whole_chocolate_milk on

    “I’ve done tons of incredibly safe activities that require no skill and call them thrill seeking. Then i did something actually hard and now i quit”

  4. >My guide insisted my wrist definitely wasn’t broken; he’s a former paramedic, and if it was broken, it would have swollen more, he said. He even tried getting me back on the bike.

    lmao

  5. Inevitable-Ad-9570 on

    Dude did a bunch of pre packaged, touristy, “Xtreme” activities and thought he was Travis Pastrana.  Seems obvious how that would go on a Mountain bike.

    Also, somewhat related, Peru has dope mountain biking.

  6. Delicious-Ad2562 on

    Lmao I know many people in their 50s doing much harder rides, this dude was just overconfident and dumb

  7. He says “Cycling fast both on and off road has long been my passion” so it sounds like has prior MTB experience? But he seemed clueless on the actual difficult sections, so it sounds like he doesn’t. Would like to hear what an average MTB guy says about these trails…

  8. Research-Green on

    “Rear wheel flipped over” hahaha
    Sounds just like noob motorcyclist that says “ i had to lay her down”
    What a pillock.

  9. No difference than someone who never skied before starting out on a black like Grand Couloir.

    I started back into Mountain biking when I was 34 and now aged 40 can appreciate good natural or black trails, still wouldn’t go somewhere new and start on the 3rd hardest trail. Start out easy and work your way up or walk the trail first.

    Complete numpty!

  10. We’re all built differently. I’m 50 and still ride hard. I broke my back at L5/S1, had my spine fused and still haven’t quit. I do consider those large gaps and drops a little more but it doesn’t stop me. I can’t imagine not ever riding again. I’d go insane.

  11. I just read an essay in a different paper from a man who went “back to home workouts and nature walks” because he had one bad bail skateboarding. So I guess quitting is going around?

  12. It sounds like he’s never ridden a mountain bike before in his life. First major red flag would be a guide trying to coerce him into riding the most difficult trail without consideration of his skill level. Next would be “don’t use your brakes on the downhill” advice. That’s just idiotic. Even driving a car down a hill requires some braking otherwise you go out of control.

    The topper on this story is that I was expecting a massive crash to have changed his life. Nah. He simply went OTB while braking too hard. I get maybe being a little safer now that you realize you’re getting older, or maybe realizing that some activities require better precautions and preparation than others. Buddy is going a little extreme in his reaction.

  13. Are you sure you are ready to kayak the class 5 rapids? Of course! I went to Schlitterbahn and rode the steep waterslide.

  14. magneticpyramid on

    “As I’m a lifelong adrenaline junkie, the opportunity felt irresistible. I’ve skydived, sand-dune surfed, paraglided, bungee-jumped off New Zealand’s tallest tower, been propelled from the water into the air by a jet pack and done [Tough Mudder](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jun/16/tough-mudder-army-like-fit-in-my-40s)-style adventure events which included ice baths and an “electroshock therapy” obstacle of 10,000 volts.”

    That’s the most *Guardian* thing I have ever read.

  15. BeanAndBanoffeePie on

    The funniest part to me is the sky tower jump is literally the tamest bungee in New Zealand, it’s arrested so you don’t even free fall.

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