Cavendish Beats Merckx Totally UNCHAINED

Mark Cavendish has done the impossible on stage 5 of the Tour de France 2024. Beat Eddy Merckx’s record of 35 stages at the tender age of 39 in a team on its way to the second division like Astana. He has done it totally unchained, literally with the chain of his bike out, hitting with it in the face of Biniam Girmay, Jasper Philipsen or Fernando Gaviria. Tadej Pogacar, Tour yellow jersey, delighted with his childhood hero Cavendish winning the 35th stage in his Tour de France history after Michele Gazzoli’s controversial abandonment. The best possible tribute to Giovambattista Iera.

from puking uncontrollably to beating Eddie ms’s famous record from Greece to France after crawling through Italian territory waving to fans and his once hated LS from the bus from 400 days without a win in the world tour to literally obliterating the best sprinters in the pelaton in one of his most brilliant victories as a Pro and he’s done it totally Unchained the guy who from 2008 to 200 14 crushed the biggest dopers totally clean has done it again the British Legend in mummy form returns like Brendan Fraser returned to the highest echelons of Hollywood and now he can dedicate his Triumph to Mich gadoli who we imagine will be cheering wildly and shouting at his smartphone screen [ __ ] you Uncle cycling highlights and this after making a video call to the kazak Army Commander or at least that’s how we imagine it going on we’re also talking about the second oldest pedalist of all time to win a to to France stage something we imagine will make Chris Horner very very happy on his hilarious YouTube channel this was the embarrassing fifth stage of the to of France where many outstanding debts have been paid subscribe to the channel for more daily content from L book and now without further Ado let the show begin the day began with some almost directus ions to this channel from the Garmin team who were always so concerned about social networks of course it was all in relation to the arrest of the cyclist who has been expelled from his team but really that guy is a nice funny guy please watch him even if he’s recording himself just getting a tattoo he’s doing it for you Andrea Piccolo apologized to his doped up hipster manager in a tender message while hiding from the spotlight of the press and the social networks of his famous col Ian girlfriend I brought four drugs from Colombia that I don’t want to name I want to take responsibility for it I was tested and nothing came out but it turns out they found a medicine that you can’t bring with you I apologize forgive me we forgive you Andrea we forgive you maybe vter doesn’t but still we’re glad that you revealed that you weren’t carrying 50 vials of growth hormones that you were only carrying four and we’re also glad that you didn’t say there for your pets or friends who go to the gym of course someone who didn’t take it so well was your partner The Local Hero from Florence who was betrayed by the evil Piccolo he said when Andrea came to the team I befriended him because he was Italian like me and I tried to help him now I see him as an idiot well we agree with our gangster friend that the former gas prom team Rider is not a Nobel Prize Eminence but still it’s curious that Piccolo a polyglot suitable for a team sponsored by a Language Academy was especially friendly with you and also with those Colombians on staff too we suppose we encourage you to well snap out of it Alberto get rid of this trance and maybe then you can give us a nice show in this to of France the Garin team manager and legendary troll writer Charlie walus the popular clean British cyclist who obvious also has been betrayed by his young Italian disciple and also a man who defends to the hilt the guy who’s fed him for the last few years said it angers me that he could have done this what really bothers me is that people see what Piccolo has done and they accuse Jonathan vs well Charlie if you prefer it you know we can always accuse you we don’t know if it was the position of the representative or the position of the sponsor or vs himself but signing a guy bounced from two teams in the same season well whether you want to admit it or not it has to be the responsibility of someone probably the top manager someone dear Charlie who has adopted in his team multiple dopers unfortunately also someone that has suffered some cases of doping over the past 15 years now I understand that you may have a personal friendship with the guy who’s been supporting you for more than a decade but attacking those of us who link L vs with Piccolo is not going to help your case in the least in fact it was the dope TP hipster himself who in an interview with another great hypocrite David Walsh in the times tried to clean up his image but only dirted it even more he said today’s cyclists don’t deserve the burden of our Dope Up generation I signed Picolo because he had a V2 Max of 97 and I thought he was spectacular sure finger clicking hipster hepcat of course you did the problem is that in the last 3 years you have two young very young guys like Luis VI aobos and Andrea Piccolo who regardless of their significant notorious physical abilities have been sanctioned or arrested for possession of doping substances but vs goes on to defend himself hilariously he said I’m inoculated with being called a hypocrite but these guys are good young men and for the most part they compete clean and the sad thing about this case is that it’s only going to reignite doubt and suspicion and cynicism H now that is an example of pure hipster hypocrisy it was possibly the most cynical comment of the entire season an absolutely pitiful reaction from a team manager who was trying to threaten taddy pogacha for not letting teams like his win in the races and the best thing of all is that in his own commentary he recognizes that although there is a minority there are still young people who compete totally doped I don’t understand how these guys have the balls to go on camera and defend the indefensible but at least here at the channel we had a jolly good laugh now just a reminder for you if you want us to bring up some similar examples of cases in soccer we have our failed sharks channel ready and waiting for you and if we reach a th000 subscribers we’ll start making those millionaires sing for kicking a ball whilst totally doped go on fill your boots the link is in the description now as for the day stage it was something of a non-event for the most part already at the start the teams were joking there was a Duo attack by the Spaniards auso and lascano something was tickling their funny bones who knows if they were making jokes about the hard work of the alicant rider on the previous day a stage that was so productive for the Sloan leader of the race from veranda villum they urged Kobi husen precisely this nice guy to attack while the pelaton was sluggish so that he could take advantage of the economic prize for combativity and then there was the team that swindles tens of thousands of citizens with their abusive prices for electricity and gas they urged their men not to move so that the mafia of the peleton could fulfill its commitment to today to go slowly and not cause too many problems of course seeing who won today we can fully appreciate that the two escapes of the day were two very modest men there was clemon Russo of fdj with only one professional victory in the Welter Madrid a mato ver of urar with zero victories as a pro a man with a towering physique of 1.7 m in height ideal for these stage characteristics meanwhile the world champion and Carrie lascano all the Daye because we must always include a Dane UL yelson they attacked on mountainous terrain giving as something of the show we deserve but evidently these Riders were soon caught by the bunch and then in the final 25 km we began to observe the first strange movements the Asana team which until now had spent the previous four stages taking advantage of the new very wide cff limits provided by Adam Hansen allowing them to come in at least half an hour behind a stage winner almost every day they suddenly began to lead the pelaton something that literally anticipated the tragedy to come shortly after the start of today’s display while auso and lascano were telling jokes about vampires The Mummy of man had already stopped in a ditch halted by a mysterious mechanical problem that occurred Just 4 kilm from the start in SJ de Moren hopefully vorov has given a rocket to the bike mechanic caus this serious error that triggered a curious change in the bike of our dear Britannic Majesty a man who was winning stages in the tour when pogy our little Slovenian Mystic was only 9 years old a man who evidently showed admiration when in 2021 The Mummy was revived in Lea’s stable also totally Unchained well literally because he won with the chain completely rolled off today remembering that admiration son Duval rested while the magical Blue Smurf sled the pelaton singing with joy and gayety until arriving with all the necessary gasoline at the flam no team seemed to be that well prepared for the Sprint through the streets of s vulbas not even the son and Grandson of dopers was able to put the winner of Milano Sano at the head of the bunch and then after several clashes the guy who wasable to follow the wheel of his teammates in Turkey just a few months ago was now enjoying the advantage of the new wheels that he had changed so effectively earlier they gave him the security of not puncturing in the final meters and as he shot off towards the Finish Line he was still pedaling Unchained like a beast even uphill just like the bald bandaged monster from the movie we mentioned earlier when it came to attacking the poor attractive archaeologist ever so sure of himself race number 1 191 was vomiting Euphoria on the public and on old Eddie and on all the cycling fans who were extremely stunned to see how his chain came off when he crossed the Finish Line when he threw the pedals back just like he did to quickstep 3 years ago Netflix already has one more story of overcoming to tell and to sell ohen Hansen can celebrate the victory of a guy who loses more than 157 minutes to the yellow Jersey on just five stages overall it’s a day of rry and we should all celebrate because at least the record-breaking story is finally over