I’m thinking of swapping my 105 Di2 Endurace for a mechanical GRX Grail, am I mad?

Sorry. Existential cycling essay inbound. I'll divide the text by a line spacer so you know where the actual crux of the question is after the long-winded pre-cooking-recipe story.

I don't know what happened to Canyon last year, but there just seemed to be a massive shortage of bikes. All the models I had been eying up were just out of stock all summer.

I spent weeks checking in on the website only to find this hasn't changed, until one week in August when all of my stock notifications were set off in my inbox. I snapped up an Endurace 105 Di2, and it has been an absolute pleasure to use.

It's by far my most expensive bike (£3,499) and my first time with Di2. In hindsight, it was probably a rushed purchase, but I was worried about the stock.

But here's the real mistake I think I have made …I'm getting a bit sick of road cycling now, and I made this purchase during the latter stages of this sentiment. I thought treating myself to this beautiful bike would help, yet here we are.

Cycling in the south of England has just felt a bit brutal recently, and a Gran Fondo last month left me particularly jaded just because of the sheer amount that I was shouted at on a Bank Holiday ride. I can take this usually, but during it was particularly prevailent on this 5 hour ride (genuinely felt like every 20 minutes I was getting a heckle).

I only really get any enjoyment in organised events nowadays, which are far and few between. But even this year's RideLondon was marred by drivers breaking through closed off roads.

On one recent morning I was shocked to also realise that I was stuck in the big chainring, when my Di2 conked out. Slowly these small issues are beginning to compound, and I just want to go back to basics now.

I'm thinking of gravel bikes. I want the utility to bolt more water on the front fork and mount a pannier, but I also want to be able to swap out onto some road wheels for when I fancy a road ride.

From what I can tell, they aren't particularly good at either off road or road, but I think I am swooned by the utilitarian-ness of them. I like having the options on just one bike, and now I am really considering exchanging my Endurace for a Grail.

Running out of Di2 the other week has also made me more interested in having a mechanical groupset again. I understand the advantages of Di2, but I'm no racer. I'm not vying for split second gear changes on my ride. I think it's just taken an experience like running out of power to realise that bikes really should be self-sufficient, and not beholden to a power outlet.

I got on some pretty long rides in other countries most years, but haven't taken a Di2 with me. Not for this reason (the real reason is because this bike is expensive and I don't really want to fly it out), but now having experienced a flat battery in the UK has made this an absolute no-no for me abroad.

I'm probably trying to get you all to help justify this purchase, but are any of my points ringing true for you about Di2 / Road vs. Gravel? Or am I just being dumb?