The Big Fat Quiz Of The Year (2013) FULL EPISODE | Big Fat Quiz

Jimmy Carr hosts as celebrity quizzers Jack Whitehall, Jonathan Ross, Kristen Schaal, Dara O Briain, Noel Fielding, and Richard Ayoade go head to head.

#bigfatquiz #fullepisode #2013

[Airdate: 26 December 2013]

The teams did not take team names.

Danny Dyer appeared in the studio to provide a live guest question. Pre-recorded guest questions were provided by Anchorman 2 stars Steve Carell, Will Ferrell, and Paul Rudd; Olly Murs, Christine Ohuruogu, Louis Walsh, Richard Osman, The Great Gonzo (promoting Muppets Most Wanted), Harry Hill, and Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

Educating Yorkshire teachers Mr Mitchell and Mr Burton, The Great British Bake Off series 4 runner-up Ruby Tandoh, Rizzle Kicks, and astronaut Chris Hadfield.

The children of Mitchell Brook Primary School returned to act out Edward Snowden’s spy leaks. Jon Snow reported on “Wrecking Ball” and Charles Dance read from the autobiography of Lauren Goodger.

The mystery guest was Natalie Holt, who threw eggs at Simon Cowell on the final of Britain’s Got Talent.

The show was dedicated to comedy agent and producer Addison Cresswell, who died on 22 December 2013.

Jonathan Ross brought most of a turkey, a loaf of bread and champagne. He ended up making sandwiches for the others.

Subscribe to the Big Fat Quiz Channel for weekly clips – http://bit.ly/2nnCT6H

[Music] [Music] he hello and welcome to the big fat quiz of 2013 of course these days you can’t call things big and fat so welcome to the bubbly Jolly fully figured enjoying life celebrating our curves quiz of the year the big fat quiz 2013 think of it as a slightly more upto-date version of the big fat quiz 2012 or a slightly all hat version of the big fat quiz 2014 if you’d like to play along at home then presumably you don’t have the new Xbox unlucky let’s meet our teams first up we have a bit of fresh meat Jack White Hall and he’s brought some mutton dressed to spam it’s Jonathan Ross next up she’s the crazy stalking fan girl from Flight of the Concords he’s a maths loving science bod it’s like match.com pick the teams it’s Kristen Shaw and dar Breen and finally we’ve got a rock and roll Dandy and the brains of the operation all we need now is a ladies man a jock and Jason STM and we’ve got ourselves a height movie it’s n fielding and Richard II Jack are you okay with Jonathan this evening yeah well um I did this lovely show last year and I got in don’t touch me um I got in a lot of trouble last year for some uh jokes that I said on this show show so I was like this evening I’m going to behave and there are going to be no offc complaints I’m on best behavior and you put me with Jonathan Ross I’m I’m mentoring you this year not that’s like turning up to an AA convention your sponsor’s Gaza like he’s going to lead me astray I’ve got some jokes I’ve written for him some familyfriendly jokes for to do and he said he’s not going to do them but this will keep you out of trouble and get laughs well I’m very I’m very much looking forward to hearing that Dar uh Christen how are you we’re great we’re fantastic Kristen’s just over for essentially for the day yeah yeah sure I’m so looking forward to questions about British politics British television shows uh hits in the British chart over the last 12 months or so yeah this has been this has been a great year for me I’m I became a woman really tou and go but I think it happened when you say you became a woman just blossomed [Applause] okay uh Richard you you look um opposed and ready for this yeah it’s been up and down as a year lot of sadness um but yeah I’m here I’m ready to quiz I’m ready to take a sideways glance at the event of the previous 12 months I look like his legal adviser it’s exactly it right could you talk me through the the outfit I mean cuz cuz you know Jack just skate over mine real that’s a Moes are you all right n as no’s legal advisor that is very dangerous yeah where there’s BL sue you don’t sue me I’ve got grass on look that is that is a hell of a look that is a strong look nearly broke my cheekbone right round one round one is all about the year’s biggest news headlines Chris Hune was jailed for getting his wife to take speeding points whilst in prison he was subjected to Violent threats and verbal abuse although to be fair it was his decision to phone his family in August two young women were imprisoned in Peru on charges of drug smuggling the girls one from Northern Ireland and one from Glasgow said they’ been living in terrible conditions but now they were glad to be out and living in a Peruvian jail Abu katada was deported to Jordan this year it was the first time in history he throws security of let someone on the plane only after assurances that he didn’t pack the bag himself of course it wouldn’t be a quiz without questions eyes down everyone round one first up it’s over to a man who made the transition from comedian to revolutionary in 2013 it’s Russell Brand hello Jimmy car now would you cast your mind back to January this year do you remember it came out that uh certain uh lasagnas and food and that meat food had horses innards in it like in had come out of a horse a thing that the horse was when it was alive that had become a type of food now Iceland the uh Supermarket was uh implicated negatively in all of that what did Iceland boss Malcolm Walker say when he was asked whether he’d checked for horses in his food what did he say that’s the question Jimmy that I’m passing on to you obviously you can’t ask questions directly Jimmy you don’t have that degree of ability the CLA are out he’s remarkable who’s this man he’s the head of Iceland Malcolm Walker did he say that the vegetarian burgers had pantomim horse in them no he didn’t but it would have been brilliant if he had okay question number two uh which event prompted BBC news reporter Simon McCoy to say during an outside broadcast plenty more to come from here of course none of it news well that’s inappropriate what happen and outside what an outside the building he was outside the building yeah what was going on inside what was going on that’s the question that’s like the opposite of what you want could that Mak perfect sense you’re me listen think of the question I’m older than you you’re me a listen stop bickering you know the last time me and Jonathan worked together we did a thing where we gave out an award I got a tweet from someone one of the most creative bits of abuse ever saying Jonathan Ross is like a cyborg sent back in time to remind Jack whall that he’s still not funny well done trolls okay next up we’re going over to one of the biggest comedy stars in the world it’s Steve Carell everyone oh hi Jim me hi 2013’s been a funny old year and one of the strangest events occurred in February when windows in over 4,000 buildings shattered in Russia but can your teams remember why can they oh the Geeks have got it yeah the Geeks have got with it is this nothing okay next question question why did a marriage proposal in July get tweeted about by Nick C written about in The Independent Newspaper and mentioned in the official parliamentary records wow it got tweeted wow that’s amaz CU a big deal that’s a big deal yeah get it gets on to Twitter that’s guys on Twitter and finally it’s over to the children of Mitch book Primary School in neon who are performing one of their unusual school plays can you tell me which new story they’re acting out trade security the economy I agree I’m turning on you here are all the [Music] [Applause] secrets he is very naughty don’t worry you can live in Russia okay so what new story whe the kids have Mitchel Brook Primary School acting out there Jimmy can I can I introduce a little idea to maybe make the stakes a little bit higher and a little bit more fun for everyone is that if uh if Noland uh which had fail to get in the top two teams at the end that they go backstage and switch outfits yes fine idea I mean we are we are we are prepared to take the same bet okay I don’t want to have to wear a cheap suit Dar Christian are you up for this I like okay so everyone’s everyone’s up for this it looks like d we were doing joke answers we’re not doing joke answers now if I have to wear SN dress H how dare you it’s a lovely Dr saying I’m a very bit it just won’t work on me you you should have confidence in your body I think if you want you look like a massive quality Street it look amazing okay time for some answers first up Russell Brand asked you what explanation Malcolm Walker gave for not detecting horse meat in Iceland meals what did your put well we we wrote Nay by which we meant he didn’t he said he’d never eaten it at he he doesn’t eat at Iceland what do he said yes yes yes there’s horse meat but only the best horses only liping dinners LIF Pony no poor horse yeah okay that’s that’s not the exact right answer we can go now to Richard I check once a month when I’m in the shower sorry I’m confused I cann’t fit all of it in sorry I’m confused why would you ask me if I check for horse meat because that would imply that I was sort of looking for it which would implicate me um so I probably try and Dodge that question that’s that’s almost I mean that’s almost what he said have a little look at what he actually said constantly testing checking every week did we test for horse no but we haven’t tested for dog or cat either might be dog and cat you can’t test for everything I wanted to see list every animal we knew then and run out at pummer and then and then you walk in the background he goes oh cow okay so nor got that next question I asked you what event prompted BBC news reporter Simon McCoy to say plenty more to come from here of course none of it news this one we have got wrong what what did you go for Richard gang bang inside the whole place is going to blow uh Dar what what did you go for we pretend the opening of the old news Museum yep oh but that’s still news that Jonathan I know what Jack was thinking it Jacka the weather none of it news we’ve still got more stuff to come none of it news so that is what happened next let’s take a look uh well plenty more to come from here of course none of it news uh because that’ll come from buckingam Palace but that won’t stop us but until then we’re going to be speculating about this Royal birth with no facts to hand fact to you Ben so it was the royal birth it was the the birth K williiam had hador was this big news in America oh yes it was a boy named George and we were like yay we went back to our sad lives let’s have a little look at the royal family here here they are there four generations wow he’s got a long body George looks like there when you pick a cat up and its feet are stuck to the carpet and its body body goes really long well I’m not quite sure that’s what’s going on but yeah okay question number three Steve Carell asked you what caused windows in over 4,000 buildings to shatter in Russia this year did you know a big old meteor big old meteor caused 4,000 Windows to sh yeah okay no Richard what what did you put uh we put asteroid or some other space business well that feels that feels pretty good that’s pretty cool yeah Jack Jonathan we put Miley Cyrus on a ball I thought maybe Ball B smash the window but I’ve got a joke for a Jack to do which is kind of more family friendly than the material is used to doing tell me now this this is going to work for you support him in this stage it’s going to be a whole new career the windows shouldn’t have broken in Russia because they had only just been [Applause] Putin all right so should we have a little look let’s have a look this is the me you in question what’s this the as the Junes yeah wow all right I asked you uh why a marriage proposal in July got tweeted about written about in the independent and mentioned in the official parliamentary records what did you get I thought a dog proposed a cat because that’s a lovely story uh Dar what what did you go with we said it’s a gay thing and a put two little love hearts but actually wouldn’t look like Pac-Man so I give him an eye uh so we think it’s you know gay marriage that’s gay marriage and no Richard what did you get gay marriage yeah uh so point for Dar and chrisen a point for Nolan Richard it was the first gay marriage proposal the first ceremony is expected to take place in March 2014 and the first marriage proposal was between Ed forom and Russell eagling congratulations boys and finally we saw the children of primary school performing an unusual School play what event were they acting out did you get this spyman uh what what what did you get D then Edward Snowden was the Spy man’s name although he wasn’t actually yeah it wasn’t his spying he just opened up the files so of the spies of the n and people got really upset because oh my God they’re spying and you going to go people were mildly upset I I think with the age of YouTube and Twitter people are like oh someone’s watching me all the time actually sexy OHA often when I step out of the shower I go who’s watching now particular I’ve only got two followers but I’ve always got the NSA don’t I don’t I you there boys I’ve got a joke for you about this spider he he was he and he they locked him in a building and he couldn’t get out because he was snowed in what did you guys get now Richard we got snow down snow down Fine near enough Armageddon what ship down I thought I saw a rabbit but it wasn’t as a child then I thought I saw Bruce Willis near enough I think everyone gets a point there everyone gets a point well let’s check in on the scores uh Jack and Jonathan have one point count them one uh uh Dar and Christian and nol and Richard both got three first that’s all for one see you in a bit welcome back to the big fat quiz of 2013 this round is all about the year in TV and movies Peter Capaldi was announced as the new Doctor Who we all have different opinions on who the best doctor was just like we all have different opinions on who the second worst was after Sylvester McCoy Simon Cal announced he’s to become a father he’s not revealed if he’s expecting a boy or a girl or indeed a group Greg Wallace allegedly punched a man in the face at a dinner event over claims the man groped his girlfriend’s backside he wasn’t annoyed that the man felt of his girlfriend just that he said it was soggy tasteless and with a terrible texture let’s remind ourselves what we were watching this [Applause] year I got this feeling on the summit day when you were gone I crashed my car into the grd I let it I threw your [ __ ] into a bag and pushed it down the stairs I crashed my car into the bridge I don’t care I love it I don’t care I got this feeling on the yes yes I I love it I don’t care I don’t [Music] care confid okay so big questions now uh for our first question it’s over to two of my favorite teachers from educating Yorkshire Mr Mitchell and Mr Burton yes show so good hi now educating Yorkshire was full of incredible and sometimes very moving Moments One of the most memorable was when Mr Burton here helped mushara overcome his stammer but can you remember what technique I used were they mumbling cuz it sounded terrible that’s that’s a Yorkshire accent that’s how that’s how they talk in Yorkshire Sor they say things like Tin Tin Tin what does that mean that means it isn’t in the tin Tin Tin Tin no Tin Tin Tin okay so so uh mushara mushara had a stter one of the teachers helped him to overcome it how did he overcome him it’s an incredible powerful wonderful moment of TV did I cried so much when I watched that oh my God for you in my mind yeah I cry too much you cry everything everything I cried at an episode of D on no the other day all this woman wanted was to take her daughter on holiday and then she got a blue at the end end and I I just went completely uh spoiler alert I haven’t seen it Deal or No Deal it is the most amazing show ever basically this guy opens all these boxes and in one of them is a severed head you don’t know which one it’s going to be in and then you just got to deal with it or not deal with it okay next question very simple what happened inside this box that’s Mariela fostr yeah uh yeah it’s the book show no the other show you next question in January this year Quinton Tarantino had a fairly Lively interview with Channel 4 news but what memorable phrase did Tarantino use during the interview your handri like a doctor’s hand i’m [ __ ] yeah I am okay next question Joey Essex was everyone’s favorite on I’m a celebrity this year in the jungle he admitted he wasn’t able to do two basic things what were they there’s a point on offer for each yep yep got it got it that’s a got it sure you know I love Joey was on Splash last year and he went up the high B and he said oh bit scared up here mate this is a bit scary and he and Tom daddy said well it’s like a second home to me went you live here okay finally it’s over to my favorite Bake Off contestant Ruby tando Hi Jimmy we all had our Bake Off disasters at one point or another but the unluckiest of all was Paul Howard who managed to lose his custard can your teams remember what happened to it you remember this that that’s not a euphemism no but the way Ruby said it there didn’t help anyone did it how did he lose his custard thank you Ruby okay have you all got answers yeah we did okay fabulous Mr Burton and Mr Mitchell asked you how mhara overcame his stammer in educating Yorkshire who got this we went for a gluten-free diet and tickles get out that GL and get your tickles and talk straight yeah no Richard prolonged sarcasm uh Jack Jonathan what have you got the answer that’s what we’ve got took his parents hostage yeah well let’s have a look breath nice and Loud nice and proud can we like one thing and it’s only because I watched The King’s Speech quite recently all right okay one thing he does right when the because it’s a very similar thing to you in that you just can’t get the words out what one thing he does do is he makes him listen to some music right and then when he’s listening to the music gets him to do it again okay so have you got your phone we no right plug it into mine I’ll put some awful music right you ready yeah yes there okay that’s right 1 2 three the moment when after many years of hard work that I own this is the same moment when the trees ear loose the soft arm from around you the birds take back their language you never found as it was always the other way around bloody that’s insane everyone it’s amazing that was beautiful yeah it’s really lovely okay I asked you what happened inside this box what did you get that box that looks like tron’s shed what have you got answer wise water rafting that culminate some sexy Biz well we didn’t specifically know about the water rafting in there but definitely there were sexy Biz uh Dar people doing sex people doing sex what inside the box in the Box no holdie we you there’s Mo far he saw far completed it moof was in that you saw him I’ve realized I was thinking of the cube and this is a different show but I bet if moof Farah did this show he’d nail it as well that was the box from Channel 4 sex box let’s have a look in a few minutes a couple will enter this box they’ll have sex and then immediately afterwards come out and talk frankly about what they did to me a panel of internationally renowned sex experts and in front of our studio audience welcome to sex box like how do they know they really did it they yeah just be like yeah we did it and woo you know and they were just sitting in the box like just like okay let’s go okay next up I asked you what memorable phrase Quinton Tarantino used when he didn’t like one of Christian Guru Murphy’s questions on Channel 4 News did you get this yes he said I don’t have to that you’re not my mommy I can tell you that’s not right uh Dar Christen it it may look like I’ve written I’m shutting your ass down but that is just merely bad handwriting on my part H I’m shutting your ass down no Richard what did you put you said I’m shutting your butt down uh let’s have a look yeah yeah so you don’t want to talk about anything serious yeah I don’t want to talk about what you want to talk about I don’t want to talk about the implications of violence I I I I haven’t wanted I’ve been because and the reason I don’t want to talk about it cuz I’ve said everything I have to say about it if anyone cares what I have to say about it they can Google me and they can look for 20 years what I have to say but I haven’t changed my eye my choice my my opinion one ioda no but you you haven’t you haven’t fleshed it out that that’s the only reason it’s not my job to flesh it out no it’s my it’s my job to try and ask you to and I’m shutting your butt down so uh Dar Christen you get points no Richard you get points Jonathan Jack you get nothing there okay next I asked you what two basic things Joey revealed he couldn’t do on I’m a celebrity did you know Bret and crochet which are very hard to do at the same time and he gets confused between them so whenever he tries to do crochet he does it with a mallet uh Dar Christ Z read and write is that right it’s weirder than that okay and know Richard what do you go for make decisions and [Music] oscillate oh oh let’s have a look don’t do it pick your nose if you have to I can’t blow my nose can’t you why never learned how to do it just blow like hold your mouth and blow can’t do it I can’t go that so I have to go that things that you don’t really need to know I don’t really know he sounds so stupid yeah learn to do reles and stuff obviously CU that’s what I needed to obviously time my La up for the rest of my life but blind your nose I can just do you you don’t have to do it the professional way say you can just do it the Joby way 15 30 30 minutes plus L I can tell the time on a digital but I can’t tell it on an actual like a round one what goes like that I you know I retract any feeling that we were harsh this is the best TV you’ve got SE in a box can I just say really this is really picity and so annoying and I don’t want to come back to it but if you do play cro you do have to go clockwise play so technically not knowing how to tell the he wouldn’t be able to play cro if you went anticlockwise you’d be disqualified and you’d lose the game the idea he can’t blow his nose is to really like he can’t do it like a professional that was the amazing about like a pro I can’t do it like a pro you know these Pro guys they’re good I booked them for children’s parties all the time they come in and they do across the room finally Ruby from bov asked you what happened to Howard’s custard did anyone remember he piped it into Paul Hollywood Soggy Bottom is that aoud well that’s just a bit of silly radio for slap and tickle uh what what have you got n Richard he just forgot where it was is almost a definition of losing it seems reasonable Dar Christen um I think somebody stole it somebody used his Custard in their in their Tri C okay so we’re going it was Deborah uh we’re going to show it now if you’re of a sensitive disposition it might be an idea to look away pretty upseted oh no I’m so sorry Howard what’s happened I used Howard’s custard by Era we’re both in the same fridge and I forgot what my bow was and I’ve used his I haven’t used it all but I am really upset this is this is like it’s like a recurring nightmare so now you’ve taken possession of Deborah’s custard and his own and I’m really Sor got some of my own cherry yeah more English TV gold there for you wow someone used my custard [ __ ] hell but she didn’t it all did she there was a bit thereit there but he still have to go and make more [ __ ] hell no how did he cope no in the kitchen there can’t have been any more custard there how many times have you make custard oh it’s really hard I buy it you can get it in cartons okay time now for a special bonus round about movies I’m going to show you pictures from three of the biggest movies of the year which have all been subtly improved all you’ve got to do tell me the names of the films okay yep Ready For This here’s your first one I think Jimmy looks brilliant yeah that’s a better haircut than what you got now I like your hair now oh boo boo okay next one oh my jez picture Jimmy at how many is ones there I like that haircut too on you thank you very much okay and the third one that’s quite good hairful that image made my orbs Fizz slightly your ORS what I’m saying Jimmy is if I was drunk in Candon I would get off of you you don’t know you’re coming out of a gorilla’s vagina a tiara would not develop in a gorilla’s W there’s there’s not the pressure to create that kind of rock okay let’s let’s have a look see what you got Star Trek behind the candleabra great okay uh D although I think we’ve misspelled it and actually written second was behind the candle bra very different fil the candle Brown’s pretty acceptable I think and what what have you gone for no and Richard Star St liberar behind candra the great great gaps great Gap well you’re all three for three it was of course Mr Spock in Star Trek Michael Douglas behind the candleabra and I was carer Mulligan in The Great Gatsby let’s see what that’s done to the scores okay Jack and Jonathan have four points nol and Richard have eight in the lead uh Christen and dar with nine points now in a last Stitch attempt to inject some life into the British economy here are some ads I wonder if there’s any sales on welcome back to the big fat quiz of the Year this round is all about the year in music David Bowie surprised Everyone by releasing his first album in 10 years his previous album was released on something called a CD and you got it from a place called a record shop which was a building you actually had to go to and you had to pay for it it was rubbish the Spice Girls musical Viva Forever closed after just 6 months the problem was the cast turns out it’s quite hard to find actresses who can’t sing or dance K Jimmy K Jimmy jimy Jimmy jimy thank you for your support we’re hoping that’ll catch on as a kind of Nationwide catch F Bonnie Tyler represented the UK in this year’s Eurovision song contest Bonnie wrote the song in Wales recorded it in Nashville and [ __ ] it up in Sweden right time for some more questions um first it’s over to xfactor judge and pop impressario Lou Walsh Louie hi Jimmy how are you now I know what it’s like to be in the glare of the public eye just like celebrity super couple Kim Kardashian and Kanye West they had a baby daughter in June and everyone wanted to know what they would call her can your teams remember what it was oh yeah yeah yeah okay so we all know this no let’s try to get some valuable points in look at Brucey I love that song don’t you love that Cano song of it’s like the most mental song and it’s kind of Genius honey I know it’s hard to be in it’s all like that you just we should do it she’s lying on the thing no no she’s not that into it bring out the is the motorcycle the motorcycle is it on the motorcycle is it going okay if you could just come out and talk frankly about what you’ve just done next up which controversial chart topper has been banned in 20 UK universities led to an American dance coach being fired and a lawsuit with Marvin Gay who was responsible for all of that this year bang in the middle of song he a lot of people you know could be they don’t know what’s what but I do okay next question Beyonce got into trouble for not doing something at Barack Obama’s inauguration can you remember what it was yeah yeah I’m just the answer can’t just be yes I can remember you write what it was you’ve incorrectly framed the question I claim my point I don’t know uh during the chart rundown on April 14th BBC Radio refused to play the number two single in Fall can you tell me why oh no yes you okay you’re sure y finally it’s over to the channel 4 Newsroom where Jon Snow has a special bulletin about one of this year’s biggest hits over to you John an American building contractor is facing legal action after it emerged that she inadvertently demolished her residence whilst to gain entry she issued an apology to the homeowner insisting I never meant to start a war I just wanted you to let me in and adding that she just closed her eyes and swung this is not the first time the woman’s professional conduct has been called into question as she was previously found licking tools and operating heavy machinery while fully nuded John S there God bless him um okay so what hit song was John reporting on yes yes what’s the song again balls well that’s very much the question Jack okay all right first up Louis Walsh asked you what Kim and Kanye call their baby did you know Fred West it’s a lovely name d Tristan it’s north north and no Richard North by Northwest that’s the full name his middle name is by North West yeah no by North West last it’s no it’s no more ridiculous than the actual name is it no it’s a fabulous name yes they did Chris and their child north um so no points for you Jack and Jonathan everyone else guess one okay next I asked you which controversial chart topper has been banned in 20 universities led to an American dance coach being fired and a lawsuit with Marvin Gay did you get it Alan Jones a lot of people see Alan on TV and they think there he is face of an Angel voice of an Angel but behind closed doors he is absolutely Bonos chrisan Dara yeah yeah what have you gone for we’ve gone for creepy Robin tich creepy creepy Robin Tech why creepy he’s just creepy look at him you clean him with a wire brush dirty sleazy get out of here yeah he’s horrible he’s hor I’ve really taken against really have gone against okay with them I mean the lyrics are are a bit date rapy I know you want it I know you want it I know you’re saying one thing but I know yeah yeah those May to be the actual lyrics but so called no means yes yeah Bally it might as well be no it’s called Blurred Lines but that’s basically the cont the idea is what what was that no oh yeah whatever was such an ambig word though is what does it mean it’s a nightmare for me cuz my name sounds like no no North Northwest let’s carry on now it’s very ambiguous when someone says I don’t want you to have sex with me what do they mean by are they te I just don’t know where you stand these days let’s have let’s have a quick look at Robin th’s blood lines good I know you want it I know you it I know you it [Music] good what a prick he’s just an idiot yeah he’s just an idiot an idiot I don’t think he’s mean I don’t even know knows what it means he’s just a [ __ ] idiot I sat I did a show I sat next to him I mean his legs were like so thrust apart and the the big bulging crotch was in your face and it was just all so unnecessary you know you want [Applause] it awful the show I was on was Alan car Chatty Man which is actually a great show don’t know if anyone’s seen it so tune in he he does great interviews yeah but but he mainly gets bisted okay next up I asked you what Beyonce didn’t do Obama’s inauguration did you know yes we believe she didn’t sing she mimed there and I’m saying she didn’t sing uh but apparently it wasn’t actually Beyonce because Beyonce couldn’t make it so they had to send Beyonce B work Dar Christian well I I think I got the she she left think she didn’t sing No Richard what did you get miming singing singing miming singing that’s the right answer everyone gets a point I asked you why BBC Radio refused to play the number two single in fall on April 14th did you know cuz it was she angry young man Dar Christian uh tatra just died and it was ding on the which is dead and they said they play an excert of and explain why he was in the chart rather than making every the entire thing which cuz actually once you got the gag song cuz it up for three minutes of that like I get the joke witch is dead you got this dingdong The Witch Is Dead it was dingdong the witch is dead from The Wizard of O which reappeared in the judge following Margaret th’s death okay finally Jon Snow reported on one of the biggest hits of the year did you know what it was um yes Miley Cyrus and the song was it was where she me but she’s on the wrecking B no Richard you got this yeah Christian dar oh Wrecking Ball Wrecking Ball sexy face just why is why people think she’s being oh she’s awful she’s all all gone sexual there’s nothing sexual about some goinging there hold it you know do that again with your tongue cuz you look a bit like it look if we give you the hairsty get your tongue out oh yeah look at that wow let’s have a look at Mar SS I never so in love all I wanted was to [Music] bre I met Miley cus on a show actually I was doing um Graham Norton on the a good that’s a good show isn’t it great show great she’s actually very nice it was back when she was in the Disney days she’s quite aless okay all right time for a very special guest ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the new landlord of the queen Vic it’s Danny Dyer everyone should I say Mick Carter you’re the new landlord of the the queen Vic yeah yeah how do you think you’re going to die in senders everyone they either get run over or there’s a gas explosion or C shot if you had to put a bet on now no no no I want to do an bill I want to ask me now I’m done I’m [ __ ] I’m I’m I want to stay 20 stretch you know what I mean I’m a 20 stretch very few actors talk about jobs in terms he mean I did very few prisons are impressed by it where did you do your 20 any tenders how was your Christmas Danny did you have a couple of jaars and get off your [ __ ] nut nice bit of goose ni bit of goose that’s copy rhyming slang for slag yeah it is shut up Goosey rag slag it’s not it is how was your year good did a film called Vendetta it’s out now come out on the 23rd it’s a strong piece of work Jack you’ve seen it very good came out on the 23rd closed on the 25th brilliant it didn’t it is really good it’s is violent though is it very violent very SC it Jack’s trying to get a bit tough there it’s violent is it go that croquet R okay come on question time got a question for us you’re the new landlord of the queen s I’m the new landord of the queen vck I’ve just said that I saying y Dan are you wearing leggings or what they we CAU you in the middle of a Shakespeare play [ __ ] can you P away can you make it look that like well you look like you’re in panto that’s all the second half of the Nutcracker starts soon I think they’re called jegging that is a BL line right there it’s a big L because they’re quite feminine if you want to see our real man dress no stand up and show us I must be the only person in here who’s thinking these jeans are a bit baggy come on Danny question what I’m the little the queen V we know Bonnie lford called she wants her top [Applause] get come on let’s do it it’s not as easy as it look it’s a it’s a right poxy question all right then you get this stay you’re the landlord of the point right go on I’m still with you just this year yes yes realistic right this year Witherspoon announc are open a new pub in a questionable location can you remember where I couldn’t give one [ __ ] at this okay so you all write something down this so weather spoons are opening up up in a questionable location was how long have you been on the show there how long you been filming these months is it hard is it hard work fact to be honest [ __ ] sh you need this like a hole in the head yeah okay okay Jack and Jonathan what have you got yeah we don’t know for sure Alber Square Queen We Dre a little picture of Danny of the landlord okay what have you got Dar and ch though maybe some in or on the river but we also do a little picture Danny okay and no Richard what did you put dra pipe Village they actually opened a uh pub called The Hope and champion on the uh the services on the M14 see on E go see us [Applause] later everyone coming got right let’s have a look and see what that’s done to the scores Jack and Jonathan have got six star and Christian have 14 null and Richard have 13 for a quick see two welcome back to the big fat quiz 2013 this round is all about the year in sport cyclist Lance Armstrong confessed all on Oprah about his drug use Oprah said Armstrong was emotional and intense well that’s drugs for you as well as confessing to taking drugs the cyclist also admitted pedling Andy Murray stormed to victory at Wimbledon in July it was 77 years since the last Englishman Juan Wimbledon Fred Perry who had to beat Ben Sherman Ted Baker and Ron super drry along the way I’m not saying Andy Murray is Dow but he took his victory champagne and put it in the fridge to save for a special occasion okay uh some questions first one in July this year Andy Murray stormed to victory at Wimbledon but what teenage Behavior were Hollywood actors Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper caught doing at the final you should write some jokes for himz beaches are always like it was a really tough M he’s really wor a lot he’s like Superman and he yeah really a joke for him Jimmy you selfish [ __ ] I he’s a lovely fell he’s been he’s dropped into Mar we twice think was sport relief for us he’s great he laugh at himself lovely fell everyone’s all what are you going out with him why don’t you marry him you can now from March I can where did you watch the match from I watched the match from inside his tennis bag he didn’t know I was there it was brilliant I was in there amongst the sweatbands and his old pants handing in bananas anded him Lucas a he loved it it was a really tough man a very good Andy marray okay next question how did the normally Gentile Oxford and Cambridge boat race land the BBC in trouble with ofcom this year have you seen the Oxford Cambridge boat way Christ never wait I did I saw it on um social network oh yes you’re right it was in The Social Network well it’s a real thing how did they get into trouble with the BBC they showed coverage of that and they got the things in the film The Social Network are real things nobody thinks they invented like rowing for the sake of the film The Social Network and then ever ever since that film come out it’s not like Americans watching it thinking that’s like quidditch it doesn’t really happen next it’s over to the chpi man in pop olle Ms Y hi Jimmy Ollie Ms here now when I’m not in the studio making records I’m no stranger to the football pitch but can your teams tell me what was unusual about the new signing to donc cter Rover’s Reserve team this year so uh Kristen very much a question for you there donc cast of Rovers what was unusual about their signing come on this must have been big news in America it was big news in America okay so uh over to Christine auru for our next question hi Jimmy now I’ve had a pretty good 2013 I won a gold medal at the world championships for the second time and I was named athlete of the year for a third time it was also a big year for David Beckham who signed for Paris San gerain in January his last club before retiring but can your teams tell me what he immediately did with all the money okay oh did you know that yeah oh W knows a lot of stuff he really does yeah back in achievement it doesn’t look like it but know do not I do if I was David Beckham and I had all that money in international Fame first thing i’ do I would go up to those people that do the caricatures in Leicester Square and just buy the one of myself do you know the way they always have a David Beckham there ready to go it’s like an example how sweet would that be everyone else is queuing it takes ages to get dra David Beckham you just turn up yeah one off the shelf one off the shelf and off I go with I like David Beckham he was on my show with the will F couple of [ __ ] aists there he came he came on your show then but two weeks prior to that I definitely saw him on the Alan titch Mar show he’s seeing other hosts okay let’s get some answers first off I asked you what teenage Behavior Gerald Butler and Bradley Cooper were caught doing during The Wimbledon final they blanked Jonathan Ross Jonathan was there at the final and he was trying to be friends oh you come on my show and they were like [ __ ] off they were you were both there at that point we were well I was there with Jimmy Yeah Yeah we actually saw it he W up before I know you were trying to FL with them like oh I’d love to have you on Bradley and they’re like I’m afraid we’ booked for loose women Dar Christian uh they jumping High break dancing break they they brought line out and they SP on their heads they um they were high fiving each other no okay what n Richard necking and texting and giving each other Eskimo kisses Eskimo kisses yes with the nose and could you know yeah we could but we just would rather I would such a SL I’ll give you one we’d rather we’d rather have sex in the Box no one wants to do that the answer was the answer was they were they were spotted actually taking a selfie taking a little selfie there of themselves yeah taking a selfie sent PA gr saying please let me on your show otherwise okay I asked you how the boat race landed the BBC in trouble with ofcom uh what did you put we put ores yeah so they were doing it like you know when you’re in the bath and you can’t get the hot water down Dar Chris I didn’t know I I I thought nip slipped oh that’s and oh what’s that oh list every stroke little singlets moving to the Sid worse than nip slips is if your [ __ ] slips out I mean very much rowing past and you said swearing as well nol and Richard uh Cox did a swear yeah yeah there was a little bit of swearing uh Oscar zerilla the Oxford Cox swore all the way through yeah but he’s the Cox it’s like it doesn’t matter what he says he’s if CLA balding said it’s time for the [ __ ] boat race you could complain but he’s the C next up OE Ms asked you what was unusual about donter Rover’s new Reserve signing did you get it he is a she I well I D I think yeah it’s a member of I think it’s One Direction I can’t be you know but one of those bands so our answer is still valid he is a she I love no Richard One Direction that’s right the answer is it’s Louis Tomlin from One Direction is their new Reserve signing for D Rover wow wow there he is he’s the one on the right yeah okay next up Christine auru asked you what David Beckham did with all his wages when he signed for Paris sgain any ideas over to Jonathan I think think he was going to a market and he exchanged the money for some magic beans Victoria was Furious she threw the beans out the window overnight a giant bean stalk grew and young David went up the bean stalk he was very brave but he was also scared because there’s a giant living at the top of it 345 I smell I smell a range of colog okay d uh Christian he gave his money to Children’s Charities okay no Richard he bought new shoes pads no charity we put look at the start charity or flat screen 3D enable TV I can see the charity there so the answer was DAV beckam gave all his wages to a French children’s charity but he’s regretting that now he’s got to support a wife and four kids on his pension and now for a bonus question it’s over to the big fat quiz’s Masterpiece Theater where actor Charles Dance is reading from a celebrity biography published this year chap chter five I sometimes have to pinch myself when I think of what I’m doing and how lucky I am no long ago I was out and Steven Gerard the England player came up to me and shook my hand and was like I love the show I always watch it I nearly choked on my vodka I couldn’t believe it it was crazy and I was like WTF we had some banter and I couldn’t get my head round it my legs were like jelly LOL time I got invited to jia’s birthday party of ma and swapped numbers of Pixie lot the most starst I’ve ever been is when I sort of met Beyonce at her perfume launch I love Beyonce but unfortunately she had a load of security around her so I had to just look at her sad face then there was that time I was late for the Twilight premere and ended up on the red carpet next to Taylor lner and Robert pson I fancy the pair of them them I definitely wouldn’t say no and I couldn’t believe it was happening and that I was actually next to them it was brilliant #the Good Times Char answer good okay so what celebrity autobiography was that from why have you all got something yeah I want okay so uh Jack you’ve gone for he went for baronet trumpington of San almost the opposite of that Dar and Christian we’ve G for legendary cleric Bishop Desman tutu it’s the tech speak that gave it away no Richard put his own autobiography it might be a Double Bluff he didn’t seem to even be looking at the book it was like he lived it it was by candle light like San de there’s no way he could have been reading that didn’t even look like the book no it was leather bound that was something out of a jumble sell at the props Department the whole thing’s a [ __ ] sham let’s go back and see that was an extract from secrets of an Essex Girl by Lauren guo I do not a maze I actually don’t know she’s in she’s in the only way as Essex all right let’s see what that’s done to the scores okay so Jack and Jonathan have six points null and Richard have 16 Dar and Christian in the lead with 17 points at this stage time for a good break two and three welcome back to the big fat quiz this round is all about the people who made this year memorable Tommy Robinson quit as head of the edl which is a shame as I was just thinking about switching my gas and electric to them he quit because he said there were too many far-right extremists which is a bit like giving up grinder because you keep meeting gay men 17-year-old Paris Brown resigned from being Britain’s first youth police and crime commissioner after tweeting about taking drugs having sex and getting drunk she’s now head of the co-op bank okay ready for more questions straight over to the walking encyclopedia from pointless Richard Osman hi Jimmy hi everyone hope you’re having a good time now it’s a fairly well-known TV fact that because I’m Richard out of pointless I never get anything wrong however this year the Vatican did get something wrong they had to recall 6,000 coins they had issued to commemorate the inauguration of Pope Francis why did they have to recall them can your teams remember the Fairly major mistake that they made okay so the coins to commemorate the inauguration of Pope Francis had something wrong with them what was it next question Justin Bieber had a hell of a year he punched a photographer he had his tour bus raided was allegedly filmed leaving a brothel in South America even had his pet monkey confiscated by German authorities but how did a visit to Amsterdam prove particularly controversial go into all the papers a big story yeah doesn’t mean we obliged to read it I I I I think you’re like this one be that as it may okay I think you know this I I don’t believe I do say I don’t believe I do you did say that subconsciously you’re a Believer we should write that down don’t I don’t I don’t believe it and that could be a new catch phrase I don’t believe it believe it kill Jimmy kill jimmyy yay okay next question I’m very excited to say we’re going over to the one the only will Ferell hi Jimmy now as you know former President George W bush has given me a lot of great material over the years but even I felt a Pang of sympathy for him when his emails were hacked this year the leaks revealed he’d taken up an extraord ordinary new hobby can your teams tell me what it was no that’s wrong it’s correct it’s not only wrong it’s probably lious it’s not I do the politics questions you do the silly Justin bber ones that’s how work the dynamic okay next question MEP Godfrey Bloom caused embarrassment for ukip this year after a string of high-profile gaffs can you name one of these gaffs what did he do oh yeah what was that okay final question Dame Helen mirin hit the headlines for doing something rather unexpected while dressed as the queen what was it oh yeah yes that is not what happened yeah it could be I would do that she would have woken up okay has everyone got something we’ll go for the answers first up Richard Osman asked you what mishap beell the set of commemorative coins produced for folk Francis this year did you know yes they were chocolate coins okay D Kristen I thought the worst thing that you could give um them would be melted down Wiccan nickels a a wick nickel ni melt it down into the the Pop’s witches oh my God can I just say that photo looks like baby George all grown up that is weird from the background is he going through a Stargate okay Richard no they had condoms on them all the coins had condoms on them so no one got that I can tell you the answer the answer was 6,000 coins had to be recalled because they said leus instead of Jesus isus the lizard Jesus Jesus yeah next up I asked you what Justin Bieber did in Amsterdam that proved particularly controversial did anyone know well Jonathan’s just put an Frank Frank the question was what did he do he we need to elaborate there he went to the an Frank Museum and he signed in the book saying I think an Frank would be a beli no no please give poor Justin believer a chance he said I do hope she might I wonder if she might have been a Believer which is not necessarily A Bad Thing to wonder especially if as he probably was you’re off your [ __ ] tits on marijuana a friend of mine went to Amsterdam and took some magic mushrooms and went to the an FR Museum and thought it was like an interactive thing where it was like where’s Wally and ended up to rip off one of the radiators cuz he thought he had someone behind it but it’s not embarrassing because as I say it happened to a friend of mine Christen Kristen do you know this one I do know yeah it’s just what Jonathan said he said Anne Frank would love him you know he thinks Anne Frank would would have loved him and and I think that’s really beautiful and for people who are like that’s so gross it’s like what how do they know what she would have loved like she’d be like a bride eyes fan or something well it’s it’s a fine and complete answer Nolan Richard an Frank stuff that was good enough from you what happened was he visited Anne Frank’s house and wrote in the guest book truly inspiring to be able to come here and was a great girl hopefully she would have been a Believer that’s fine fine it’s fine also come on he was like 16 if my son when he was 16 went to Amsterdam and I found out he gone to the an Frank Museum I’d be [ __ ] amazed a lot to do in it’s a good point I was the most proud I’ve been to be British this year cuz like last year we had the Olympics we had the royal wedding like national pride was at an all-time high and I thought we were never going to get that again and then in February Justin Bieber came to this island and within 4 days we broke the [ __ ] up proud of ourselves you should be proud of yourselves and next up will arrell asked you what extraordinary hobby George W Bush was revealed to have taken up anyone get it yeah he wrote the wrong thing no stalking and then I put Dash deer not women so he’s a hunter he likes hunting so it’s he was stalking deer it’s and it’s a practice where you follow deer that’s not the answer you could not be more wrong he P pits of himself and of dogs and he’s actually not that bad and I just wish he would have believed in himself and had enough confidence to become an artist before he got into his presidential phase he only really given it a go know same with Hitler to his own extent if you just stuck with the painting could he have done you know he painted portraits of himself in the bath didn’t he in the bathroom well that that’s very specific let’s have a look at some of the [Music] paintings it’s all right it’s a pretty good dog I mean that’s a grown man that was the most powerful man in the world that did that so well done that’s pretty [ __ ] all right give no this one’s better this one this next one look at that in the mirror who’s that in the mirror in prison okay next up I asked you if you can name one of Godfrey Bloom’s gaffs this year how did you get on he called women at one of the S of breakout meetings at ukip’s party he referred to women as Lots uh that that that is one of the things he did uh Jack Jonathan he was he’s The Bongo Bongo man as well isn’t he he’s the one who talked about sending people out the Bongo bungal and we put [ __ ] gate because we popularized it in that way okay no Richard we put he said something that wasn’t racist and then we put bongol land in the corner I’m presuming the one you have the one you have is is when he hit a he hit somebody with a catalog you hear a Channel 4 reporter with a r with a Brer br that somebody point out there are no black faces on your Montage of ukip supporters so you called about it for a second and weigh up the pros and cons of of the just hit him hit him he hit him over the head and called him a racist let’s have a look Mr Mr BL what you make of the front cover of this uh your the conference brochure with no black faces on it after what a racist comment is that how dare you that’s an appalling thing to say you’re picking people out for the color of their skin you disgust me get out what’s calling about that point you sir are a racist why why am I racist for saying there aren’t there aren’t any black people and you’ve checked out PE the color of people’s faces disgrace disgrace that’s the TV that’s TV that reminds me so much of my dad when he found out that our local news agents were stalking the guardian you bastard he also said uh British Aid shouldn’t be sent to Bongo bongol land but you know what he is right because if we’re sending Aid to Bongo bongol land that’s wrong because it doesn’t [ __ ] exist it’s where they make umango Final Answer final answer I asked you what unexpected thing Helen mirin did whilst dressed up as the queen did you know scaring people in Madam to swords oh that would be so much fun in the middle of the show she’s doing the whatever the place she’s doing in the West End there were drummers druming outside and she left the show mid show I think she was in the middle of one of the acts and said I’ll be back in a minute or whatever I don’t do the Queen’s voice one must go and just some drummers to [ __ ] off weide and turned old Danny Dy on them F drum you and then have to go I’m sorry no tell Dr to [ __ ] off well it’s right I’ve got the direct quote which was shut the [ __ ] up people have paid [ __ ] £100 for their theater tickets to a group of Dramas outside the theater think she had but what if she accidentally stumbled into stomp so it’s that part of the show where I introduce a mystery guest all you have to do is guess who they are and how they made the news this year ladies and gentlemen our mystery [Applause] guests okay so you can only ask questions that you can answer yes or no did you get your tights from Danny Dyer no were you in Spice Girls the musical no congratulations yes welcome is your name Amanda Knox yes did you appear on television yes uhhuh did you appear on it um unwillingly no do you the situation blurred yes did you win Master Chef no is it a cooking show no is it um a performing show yeah are you the lady that operates Bruce foresight so it’s a big show on television big reality show not that big there was a new story off the back of this it was a huge was reality show and there was a new story off the back of it because it was such an extraordinary thing that happened have you been on Jonathan I it’s big show you said another clue would be you you were on a show and I think it is fair to say that you were not uh you not invited yes I know you threw an egg at someone write down your answers you got to write down your answers he gave the whole answer to everyone you didn’t say what was it again Jackin yes okay let’s see what everyone put jack Jonathan you went with we went with through egg on cow egg Richard we just went with th an egg at someone on Britain’s Got Talent th an egg like Jack said Jack so tell them who you are my name is Natalie Holt and I threw some eggs at Simon Cal yeah what’s the back story to it anyway I never really got why you did it well I just thought Simon C’s got too much power and influence in the music industry so I thought I’d I thought it’d be funny to throw an egg at him and you young lady were correct that was very funny let’s have a look at you in action unreachable the [Music] unre and I always dream The Impossible [Music] Dream Come on everyone come on I got one more question go ahead now will you marry me holy cow I’m I’m marrying somebody else sorry oh for [ __ ] sake really good aim you were like like 30 ft away from him and you got him on the head I twice how did they how did you get backstage and onto the stage without well I was booked to mime in this backing Orchestra with the with an act that was on the show and I just thought well I could have you ever considered becoming a terrorist not Le halt everyone give a round of applause let’s take a quick look and see what that’s done for the scores Jack and Jonathan have nine points uh nol and Richard have 21 in the lead Dar and Christian with 22 right time for another break once again nothing give a round of applause welcome back to the big fat quiz this round is all about Lifestyle the fats Fashions Technologies and trends of 2013 Grand Theft Auto 5 was an enormous hit this year the big moral question is does playing Grand Theft Auto affect the way one relates to hookers you’ve kidnapped in the real world the Sher Coke campaign launched this year advertisers discovered people all over the world enjoy having their teeth dissolved by something with their name on it right and for our first question it’s over to rizle kicks what’s up Jimmy now as Pop Sensations it’s very important we keep ourselves looking Ship Shape these bad boys didn’t happen overnight where’s the beach one of the biggest Health FS this year was the 52 diet but can your teams explain how it actually actually works so the Rizzle Kicks can we have another look at the Rizzle Kicks there one of them looks as if he might be solving a murder that would be Harley that’s Harley I love the RZ kcks I love RZ kcks than Harley do you really love rizle kicks I love you go to their gigs I I have never miss I hate people who are only getting on the rzz kicks bandwagon now H because I was there when they were just starting off okay next question have a look at this clip of a woman sitting down to a bite to sweet why was this newsworthy here she is she’s eating a bit of burger there why did that make the news why on Earth would that be a story Jonathan what have you got what’s going on well last year um Jack had some pizza delivered because it’s boxing day oh you’ve got some bread yeah we thought we’d make some food for us oh what have you got I’ve got some bread and we got some turkey so last year I ordered pizza for everyone a lovely gesture this year you brought your old turkey oh thank you Jonathan you’re so generous wow oh and yeah just go go ahead with your hands no we just you can have Mayo if you want Jan this is the least appetizing thing I’ve ever seen we allowed to eat this J yes are there any vegetarians here in the audience stop squeezing the sandwich what is this process don’t Crow turkey at people J makes a sandwich right puts the Things Between the Bread and then squeezes really hard to leave it in that’s called a post Christmas sandwich in a little of a quiz here what noise did you just make that was the bottle Jim me I’ve also got some presents for people these are and I’m regifting these are unwanted gifts I thought I would bring them in anyway kind of want Christmas gift I don’t know Jonathan I haven’t seen that can I have that yeah you don’t want to watch that you know what do you know what Jonathan did you actually go out and buy two copies just for this no these are the ones you gave me all the fun over here I’m going to put some turkey in this if we put your jacket on the turkey it’ll look like it’s alive yeah I think you should wear the turkey as a hat that’s the perfect present the Jimmy C DVD with tury in it no this is unbelievable yeah what’s happened no if Dar were to put on your coat you would look like the b in Despicable [Music] Me I just think it would look amazing we’re all fans are Despicable Me everyone might have to just put put oh [Applause] wow great it’s like a small Scar from me your Coast is like a throw for me we should do this is just a much better way to do television show Okay carry on like this all right let’s carry on like this am I getting yelled at right now let’s carry are you serious the fact that Jonathan brought out the turkey has a bit of a gag and now has eaten half a sandwich really good turkey now we just let like two people who met a festival and they’re badly coming down off of drugs don’t qu okay let’s quiz come let’s quiz everyone I’m ready to quiz okay time for another guest question this time it’s over to astronaut Chris Hadfield heyy lovely Chris hi Jimmy Chris Hadfield here this year I spent five months on the International Space Station I had the chance to photograph and tweet some incredible images of our Earth but what did I do just before I came home from space that has since been viewed over 19 million times on YouTube okay so Chris wants to know what he did in place that attracted 19 million hits on YouTube carry on with the quiz I feel so empowered just if you could write down I feel like I feel like Henry the right no next question you just hear Keith Richards in the face sorry I feel like I’ve had a really weird one night standard glom and I don’t know when’s the time to uh I got to get back to my tent I would give you my number but my phone run out of battery so let’s maybe just call it quick D I get I get yourself checked seriously okay so one of my favorite actors is asking the next question it’s Paul Rd everyone all your favorite actors God you’re such a crawler hi Jimmy now obviously I’m a major newshound and I don’t miss a single scoop one story in particular caught my eye this year in November 23-year-old Evan Spiegel reportedly turned down an offer of $3 billion from Facebook can your teams tell me why final question on this one anyone mind if I just have a sleep just Cur up spoon you okay night you want wake me up in four [ __ ] hours when this is [Applause] over good night sweet prince uh he a pillow for [Applause] you okay you don’t need me for the rest of this too no no you be I have a little na but over there okay come time for a say what you see question I’m going to show you a series of pictures that spell out a phrase for example This spells null field ding yeah yeah good it’s live on your desk up a bit cuz again you comers colors at Wimbledon you freak it does look like you’re standing on a giant tennis ball yeah a really tough m one a ball came and I had to hit it but really okay so final say what you see so all you’ve got to do is say what you see here say what you see say what you see say what you see okay it is ah it’s a technology story if that’s a clue what that doesn’t even make sense boom we’ve got it wow oh all right on good I’m throwing turkey no don’t throw turkey no throwing turkey hey if that starts we’ve all got a lot of turkey to sell I think well if there’s an race I think Jonathan’s very much in the lead there okay some answers first Up rizle Kicks asked you how the 52 diet Works did anyone know five meals two fingers it’s got to be here [Applause] right that is incorrect but that also works but don’t try it uh no Richard two days no eating 5 days eat tson wrote that I thought it was but for every five glasses of alcohol it’s two glasses of water great gu yeah the yeah five days normally eating and for two days you eat like 500 600 calories that is the that is the right answer okay so noan rich you get points chrisen you get points marvelous okay next question uh we saw a woman sitting down have a bite to eat what was going on here why was this newsworthy now she’s smelling for horse meat see this is the point to which I’ve clearly walked away from the desk right smelling for HSE meat we seem to have written at I know what it is I just put squiggle because I panicked but it’s a woman who is trying meat and it’s been made by robots oh it was a Rob genetically mutated genetically modified meat it’s not actually from an animal it was me grown in the air no what have you written genetically modified Burger yeah she was eating the world’s first lab Burger the burger cost an a staggering £250,000 to make lamb lab not lamb lab cuz I’ve had I’ve had several lamburg and they are delicious especially if you have them with tsiki I can give you the ingredients and I’ll get an extra point for it okay next up Chris Canfield asked you what he did in space that got 19 million hits on YouTube did you know I put two astronauts one cup if You’ thought the one on Earth was messy he’s on coming on um stargazing a b a week talk I’m a really for to meeting him and I don’t want him to see that what we wrote was cake farts cake farts is a big hit uh cake farts is when preferably a woman will fart on a cake and up close you can just see the icing vibrating and it’s beautiful it’s like watching sound like visually um big friend go cake Fs in space boy feel like two clup yeah or whatever I know Richard I was over there being disrobed Richard what did you get I put Gangham Style I was upset n you performed a version of David Bowie Space odity let’s have a look [Music] ground i’ more and I’m floating in a most pecul way and the stars look very different today okay next up Paul Rod asked you why 23-year-old Evan Spiegel turned down an offer of $3 billion from Facebook in November did you know why we didn’t even hear that question was that when they were making love on the floor in front of us yeah yes we got distracted Snapchat I don’t know did he turn the money down yes he turned turned down $3 billion that’s crazy talk Christ Dar what did you get for this uh we apparently got they mistook him for a starving country so you thought billion dollars like oh no I’m not a country that needs to feed all these people I’m just some guy with an app so why would you give $3 billion I’ll turn that money away so you can put it to good a lovely sentiment this time of year what a beautiful thing to say I know Richard what have you put I can’t even oh we got this no we didn’t no no I thought he was owed more and he was haggling so B no he was he was the guy that came up with Snapchat and he turned down $3 billion do Jimmy get on with the show all right Put The Knife Down it’s a lot of fun I know who gave him a knife okay who are you crocodile [Laughter] dunde I asked you to say what you saw how did you get on deanan Ted Flem first danan which is a very popular name in in somewhere flame F doesn’t mean anything we this no Richard 3D printed firearm let fat rain oh 3D yeah uh Dar 3D printed firearm well you got it it’s the uh the 3D printed firearm it was the Liberator gun which you could use a 3D printer to make was released this year deanan Ted flame fist that was the guy that did it the guy that made the 3D printer was called was called FL he from Jamaica and his name was deanan now you’ve had a drink you getting a little bit waste okay let’s get some scores uh Jack and Jonathan have nine they’re lucky to even have that and well neck and neck here Nolan Richard and dar and Christian have both got 24 points neck and neck see you after the break for the final part of the big F quiz welcome back to the big fat quiz of the Year this round is all about the talking points and Scandals That Shook the year 1 billion euro worth of art stolen by the Nazis was recovered the Nazis originally seized the art between 1939 and 1945 during what our historians call Hitler’s angry period Boris Johnson was revealed to have a love child this year Boris has had a string of affairs with women or as they’ve become known Boris bikes everyone was worried about the false widow spider this year of course the worst thing about being bitten by a poisonous spider is that you’re probably Australian okay let’s have some Scandal questions our first question comes from a performance artist Muppet and self-described weirdo the great Gonzo yay hi Jimmy it’s Gonzo here one of the stars of our new movie Muppets Most Wanted and you know as a worldclass bog snorkeler and performance artist I’ve been in some pretty Lo locations including this place here but none are Stranger Than The Streets of Kingston Pon Tims can you tell me what unusual object was found by Tim’s water staff in a sewer under those very streets great Gonzo wants to know what was discovered luring in the sewers under Kingston in West London in August this year that’s true okay this year in battled mayor of Toronto Rob Ford faced a series of controversies most notably being filmed smoking crack cocaine but how did he defend himself when accused of making sexual advances to a colleague Jack and joh what what are you sitting at the back giggling we’re going to smoke a cigarette later okay next up it’s over to strictly Superstar Sophie Alis Speer hello Jimmy well I wore some fabulous outfits when I was on Strictly but I wasn’t the only one dressing up in September a mysterious costumed figure got over 19 6,000 likes on Facebook which sparked a tabloid frenzy to try and unmask him can you remember who it is I can so Sophie wants to know what mysterious figure everyone wanted to unmask this year what serious figure everyone wanted to unmask what mysterious figure everyone wanted to unmask mysterious figure there’s a mysterious figure War up everyone who wears a mask maybe it’s the person from the cube is it John Merck not John Merck no okay John mccre it was not John mck or John Merck uh next question in what unusual location did a £4,000 Rose Garden appear this year is it like a really Posh accident black spot so Rose G where have you seen roses this year that you thought that’s remarkable oh we’ve got it we’ve got it okay what move on sister have you guys got this I I have no idea but I’m I’m thinking oh that’s a peculiar place for roses finally over to the one the only Harry Hill hi Jimmy I’ve been supplied a question that I’m asking you as if it’s one that I’ve come up with in August this year photos taken at a zoo in China’s henan Province we came in inant a sensation but can your teams tell me why why H he’s been enjoying Christmas and he okay let’s get some answers the great Gonzo asked you what was discovered lurking in the sewers under Kingston West London in August anyone get this yes Danny D’s legging stash it’s not the correct answer what did you get uh there’s a giant ball of fat uh what what did you get now Richard wet wipes and a water fat the size of Canada of a gallion not Canada a gallion gallion well you’re absolutely right it was the fatb a bus-sized lump of congealed lard and wet found floating in the sewer where is it now being the night route down to trafala square I asked you how Toronto mayor Rob Ford defended himself when accused of making sexual advances to a colleague did anyone know we said he’s got [ __ ] on tap that’s sort of the right idea no Richard put blur line she didn’t know that she wanted intercourse CH they were like you you said that you would can’t they us eat her [ __ ] and he was like never I got all the [ __ ] I can eat at home like I am full that is 100% correct and let’s have a look at him defending himself oh the last thing was um Olivia gond it says that I want to eat her [ __ ] gond I’ve never said that in my life to her I would never do that I’m happily married I’ve got more than enough to eat at home thank you very enough more than enough that [ __ ] is just Relentless okay Soph Spector asked you which mysterious figure everyone wanted to unmask this year dring man okay what did you give on no Richard he put Cojack who doesn’t even wear a mask that’s why it’s so difficult to unmask [Applause] him Bravo Kristen did you get this we said the Northampton clown and that is the right answer yeah basically they set up a web page called spot northampton’s clown and then they post Clues as to where he would be oh Jesus what a river with a necklace made out of children’s shoes okay next answer I asked you uh where a £14,000 Rose Garden appeared this year did you know yes yep go on D leggings that is not not the case Dar Kristen I guess the tube because uh that what a happy thing for the tube that would really liven it up no Richard did you get this I put David Cameron’s back was so close Gaga’s head it’s actually Cheryl Cole’s back side yes oh [ __ ] of course yeah but how do we know that sh’s backside has not been in Danny D’s leggings can you imagine on a hot day in the summer the problem she has with green fly the roses look like they’ve been burnt they do look like burnt roses they’re they’re very dark aren’t they maybe she was trying to blow torch the apids off we’re really getting a Long View of her butt and finally Harry Hill asked you how photos of a zoo in Hanan Province in China ended up going viral did you know were they building boxes for pandas to have sex in be filmed by Channel 4 p in box is having sex is not the right answer Kristen um you go ah head down yeah yeah they they replac the animals or they didn’t have animals so they put dogs in into the cage instead pretending to be Ling Lions the the dogs were had a nice man so you could be like you as a young child you could be like an A and have a nice trip at the zoo he no Richard what did you get oh we got dog disguise his lion okay let’s take a look so this is the lion in the in the Hanan zoo in China it looks more like a bear that is there that let’s have a look at it next to a real line just so you can see just in case you forgot what a line looks like oh Jack Jack I think I’ve got a joke for you I don’t know what kind of a dog that is but I think it might be a shih [Applause] tzu okay let’s check in on scores Jack and Jonathan have 10 points you Goose okay nol and Richard have 26 Kristen and dar have 28 just in the lead okay there are to total of eight points on offer here okay so we’re [ __ ] anyway there is no no chance in hell you can come back for prize there’s 18 points for this final question okay we’re looking for three things the biggest selling single of 2013 the most watched TV event of 2013 and the biggest selling game of 2013 and all you’ve got to do is get all three right and you get an extra bonus two points two points it so it’s the biggest selling single of 2013 according to the um official chart company the most watched TV event of 2013 the biggest selling game of 2013 okay so two points for each and a bonus two points if you go all three of them it’s really between Christan and dar and Nolan Richard here we’re having a fight you having a domestic dispute yeah so one more answer from you and then we’re there this is it ladies and gentlemen this is the final question wor okay let’s see what everyone got let’s go to let’s go to Jack and JN you got biggest sing Single blurred line BL line might have the name wrong of the next one Dar does some maths that math huge which was my favorite math show and I disagreed with him the last one but he argued me down the best game Boggle is is a good game great Dar you’ve got D we’ve gone for Get Lucky by da punk as the biggest thing she disagrees what do you think it is blood lines you think blood lines yeah that’s what I did I went ra give me pen I write anyway you you won’t Bigg wa br’s Got Talent Final okay and we for Grand the FL five yeah okay and and no Richard blood lines blood lines GE Prince George the TV event yeah me neither okay yeah and that bit with the reporter that bit the biggest sure okay well I I can tell you definitively the biggest selling single of the year was blood lines holla that’s righty Dar in second place the biggest TV event of the year was of course Wimbledon the final they have been for viewing figures but not for mine okay the biggest selling game was Grand Theft Auto 5 Fogle so let’s have a look and see what that’s done for the final scores Jack and Jonathan have got 12 points we have joint winners Dar and Christen and nol and Richard have both got 30 points that’s you have to share the the first in to share this a big thank you to our amazing panel all our special guests thank you for watching I’m Jimmy car this has been the big 2013 good [Applause] night [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] oh that