Elder Goth in Sweden | Interview with Goth YouTuber Sanniz

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Today we talk with Swedish Elder Goth YouTuber Sanniz!

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@Sanniz

IG: https://www.instagram.com/sanniz1968/?hl=en

Discussing:
Dark Alternative Lifestyle and Scene
Goth Scene in Sweden
Goth Over the Years
Goth YouTube

Thank you for engaging in the live chat!

Last weeks live Interview with West Texas Goth Virginia:

Full Playlist of Interviews here:

#goth #eldergoth #Gothyoutube

Hello everyone uh welcome today I am excited to be hanging out with an interviewing Sunny’s one of my friends from YouTube and longtime goth who has put out a lot of content on her Channel and thank you so much for being here today you’re welcome Y and I’m very

Looking forward to this because you mean a lot to me you are one of the you I really like and no matter if you talk about just golf or metal or whatever you talk Mental Health and everything so it’s excellent to actually have a person that can lift all those type of things

To see that someone that is alternative don’t just have to be in just one box you can actually be more definitely and same to you and that’s also why I like your channel as well because you’re just yourself you’re real you put everything out there from the music and I also love

That you do talk about about music uh CU that’s music nerds of course we like to hear about that yeah and your style and like personal stuff so I think the more we talk about what’s going on with ourselves personally uh the more that other people feel they’re

Not alone so I really appreciate that about you as well and excited to talk about your channel and everything and I hope everyone gonna like what I he or whatever because it’s not easy to show things for people especially when they have a stereotype

In their head how it should be or not be or whatever and all this drama that goes on on some type of platforms and that type of things I don’t I don’t really get those uh Council things to doing the other definitely yes and so I’m excited

To dive into all of that and um so for you what was your gateway into dark alternative world uh when did you fall in love with dark and spooky side of life and was that before or after I think I actually was I think it was before the music

Itself said because if people already know I’m an old person I’ve born 68 so that means that I’m going to be 56 this year so I actually was a kid already Darkly inclined kid as a I love being in the cemeteries I love to draw cemeteries and

All that type of spooky stuff and always love Wich witches and that typ horror and everything so when you came to the 88s I didn’t really understand the term go because here we didn’t have the world goth yet but the music started to come from those different things we had the

Chance to listen on music but we didn’t know that it was called go back then so it took some years before I even heard first time the world goth and understand what it was because I don’t didn’t really fit in the Box I was with other kids but they were mainly more strict

Into something else like Punk or metal and that type of things and I was like okay I can like your things I can like my things but you don’t always like my things but inste when did they die and how old were they that type of things and it always felt

Like a comfort for me to be there to it was not scary at all that is so cute like I can imagine having a little kid who sneaks out to go to the graveyard and just hang out that’s adorable yeah the grownups didn’t really like it but I didn’t

Mind that’s so cute and you know I’ve heard people say you’re not born goth well whether that’s true or not you were certainly born Darkly inclined that’s for sure yeah I think I think that part of many probably is the gate g were into golf when discover if they like the

Music too because it’s so much about it and much of the music is often about that type of things too so vampires and all that type of stuff so definitely that absolutely makes sense and I feel like that’s a lot of people’s experiences uh Darkly inclined often leads to different music genres

Including goth and uh really quickly I want to say hello hi Virginia thank you for joining us today uh my friend from the local gostin we interviewed her last week so link for that in the description below we also have Rouge The Goth here another goth YouTuber uh who I got to

Hang out with as well before and then we have Isa life hey Isa I hope you’re doing well uh well I know that’s not your name but uh thank you for being here uh good to see you as always uh amazing so then you said that

Uh you know there were some people who are more strictly into specific genres but you kind of liked a little bit of everything and I know oh sorry it felt like that because uh when you grw up you’re GNA be influenced about everything around the area when you are growing up you’re a

Teenager you’re a kid and everything so you can’t really say that you are stuck into just one part and much music are going over the Border what you call it too so I don’t really see why we should gate keep that type of way so we can’t

Say you can’t listen to anything else because you have still that I can have days when I’m just into the 80s music because I was a teenag and young dur in the 80s and then I can have days when I maybe feel angry or something metal music

Perfect and of course if I need to pick a Jer you’re going to be a go absolutely yeah and and I think if I need to take just one part of go from the big umbrella probably goingon to be like gol Rock because that you got Sisters of Mercy and those fans that

Came from that part definitely I think and I think it’s Sister of Mercy and those type of band like the K Banes that’s band we first discover here in the 80s when we didn’t have internet and for people that don’t want understand that thing that you needed it

To put into the radio station and it was not always the radio station in your country because Sweden is not that big like us for an example so we had to listen to some of the radio channels from the Europe part like uh Poland and that type of things and they have those

Pirate radiers or whatever you should call it and they have other type of music there and we sudden discover and then we start to get cable TV in the 80s and then you got MCV and that type of things when it still was a music channel it’s not that much music channel

Today it’s more drama and that type of thing so then you discover a little more I don’t even know if they have music at all on MTV anymore I think they have to go to some of the special when they do this MTV 8s and that type of

Stuff but then it’s just many those years right oh wow so is that how uh I know you mentioned um you know bow house and the sister mercy and the Cure is that how you discovered them was it through MTV and the radio yeah it was more like during the

Radio first because we didn’t have internet then when we started to get internet you can go up the oldfashioned way that took forever to even get out on the internet and it was open on a telephone line too so if someone tried to call you everything break up and you

Oh for [ __ ] sake I tried to download this song so it was hysterical but then you even discovered vamper when it still was a community and you can really connect even with bands because band members were very nice during do years too when it was so early so you can actually get

The closer contact with them and if they were like from the states and everything they could send your records directly so you didn’t have to go to the Record Shop that was in another town that you have to go there first let them do the old fashion way by Ma ordinary letter mail

And then wait for weeks for that to call you up and say we got your album here you can come and pick you up and then you needed to plan day to go over to go from but because I didn’t have any license to drive directly because I was too

Young that’s what they say it really it really did take more effort back then yeah and it little little harder to find things but I think we actually was more nicer to each others too so we didn’t be that uh that everybody have to listen to this part or this part

Else you not go well I guess it also makes sense because it’s it’s interesting kind of like as time goes on genres become more defined too so you were experiencing it as it was still new and developing so people maybe didn’t have these like ideas of these specific

Boxes um which I guess could have lent to more fluidity and like I know you mentioned in uh previous videos that all the alternative kids would hang out out together um and that was my to yeah yeah yeah that was because I came from a very little town or Village more likely

Because now I live more in a town but uh compared with uh your town so it’s my town is little it’s like a village for you maybe but it’s a very small place I came from and when we were maybe 500 students on the same school for all the

Grades so all the AL kids no matter what typ of music will listen to we needed to hand together because we were bullied by the mainstream people because we look like freaks in their eyes and everything even if we don’t have a strict clothes with how we should dress in school and

That we could come with our own clothes but uh we was still The Freaks and had very strange and everybody thought it was Satanist that that was a typical thing you are Satanist that’s so funny too because I mean everything you’re saying even through a different kind of generation

And also a different country such similar experiences like all the alternative kids we’d hang out together for the same reason we were called freaks we were called Satanist so it’s just funny that there’s these themes that happen uh you know even like I said in different generations and different

Countries yeah yeah so thank you for sharing that um a you’re welcome yes so what was the scene for you like in Sweden um when you were first getting into it I know as you already said it was a more of a mix of alternative kids but um what

Would what would you do where would you hang out uh what was in the beginning we were in the beginning like in the 90s and that when I was a little younger before I discover a club since for just go we were hanging out other on other

Clubs that play little all round type of music but still the music we liked or we were actually hanging together outside or in someone’s home so that’s the way we did did it we were stuck together no matter if it was in a place or outside

So that’s the way we I think people today they also SPO with you need to do everything in inside on a club but you can actually listen to the music together with your friends in someone’s home or outside if it’s good weather and everything so just go up to the lake and

Take your C the player or whatever you had and just sit there and listen to music that was phenomenal and maybe do some barbecue at the same time nice yes absolutely that’s so interesting you know because even even me I feel like I’ve forgotten how to

Hang out with people just like you know like you said back in the day you’d just be together it didn’t really matter where and now when you’re together with people it’s like you’re like worried about feeling the silence when it didn’t feel like that back then no I guess no because we

Didn’t have the mobile phones too and if thinking about that when you go out so people are always sitting with phones all the time so oh we’re going to hang together yeah wait a littleit I have a message here or I need to post something here that is so true so I think

Sometimes the the new technique actually is a minus for us because we forget that we are actually humans that maybe need a little more contact and when we finally meet people that have the same thoughts and same interest so we shouldn’t let them techniqu rule Our Lives we should actually take over that

I totally agree that’s definitely been a big thing that’s made a difference uh it’s a life said I listen to everything uh but goth music is still a big part of my life my style has gotten more boring the older I get however you can never be boring and our Styles always do

Evolve um no gatekeeper goth back in the day no hate in people saying you’re not goth because you don’t look like this or you don’t listen to this which is why I just say I’m alternative now yeah that’s a safe way to go and and it does create

Kind of more Unity I wish we did have more dark alternative Unity because like you said we’re all the freaks yeah it’s actually it’s actually interesting during around 2,000 just after the 2000 actually I had my own homepage back then and I had this thing that I was talking about go and that

Type of things too and I wanted to show golfs in Sweden and people doing that type of years when I was 30 years around this so I wanted to show people that it’s not just for teenager because many gr for oh it’s not you know that’s just

The face teenager you you can’t be there you are 30 now grow up for [ __ ] sake sorry so there were people I actually try to interview for this homepage to tell the story but they say I don’t want to be labor go anymore because then I have to

Stick in this box because it started already run 2,000 and just after be this box thing that you needed to be in a certain way or look a certain way and that and I think it’s wrong because you never know what the person going through some people don’t want to look a certain

Way but they love the music they can everything about the music they maybe even have contact with bands and everything that you don’t even have so I think it’s very wrong to judge people for the cover it’s the same when other people cover us for other cover because they think we of

R absolutely you know it’s it’s really interesting and and I guess one of the complicated things about goth is this really doesn’t happen with any other genre unless someone’s actively trying to like pretend or for lack of better word actively trying to be a poser like

If they’re like I want to be perceived as a metal head but I don’t actually like metal but I want to be perceived as that that’s very conscious what happens with goth is that it it’s been labeled like everyone who wears black the mainstream media thinks it’s goth right

So then people don’t do it because they’re trying to pose they just really think that if you’re dark alternative it’s called goth so that’s very unique to The Goth genre that doesn’t happen with any other yeah and it’s I think Al sad that the most people when you think

Go they see this very stereotyp tread go very extreme Trad go type of look when go is so big it can be Victorian golf it can be everything and you can be very plain too so back in the days when people started listen to like Sisters of

Mercy and Fs of neim and those bands and the mission and that typ of they were playing rest had a T-shirt and the black pants and that type of things they were not dressed the way we and we didn’t even have the makeup at then we had to

Use your imagination how we should do to do do something we was even not even close with those things yeah you had some people that were very good with the things they had or if they live like in London or something so they could create something but if you go to Sweden for

Example we didn’t have all that type of stuff definitely even uh even when I was growing up I mean I wasn’t very good at Mak makeup and then my little sister all of a sudden she was so good at makeup I’m like how’d you learn that she’s like YouTube I was like

Oh because if you didn’t have anyone to teach you back in the day I mean how are we going to learn you know yeah uh I’m sure some like you said some people did in their own way uh so what has your personal Journey uh with goth been like

And have you ever had a normal phase as I know a lot of us have had the closest to normal I’ve been that I’ve been toned down and that was before 2000 but I was sneaking out to my friends and then shade clothes so I came

Back the way I looked when I was out with my friends but I sneaked up because my parents didn’t like to look back then but uh they knew that I still did it and I still going to come home in that certain way but uh it was still that I

Was thinking a little too much because you were young you’re very much taking in what other people saying it can hurt very much inside you if someone say something because you want to be um appreciate for the person you are and not always judged for it either so you

Could turn down but I was very black pressed because I knew I had a boyfriend back then so I think he started to get a little tired on my black cloth because when I was looking at cloth he could come black with uh you can actually buy it in tic CL too

Rude yeah but I I didn’t like it but is the most normal I have been compared with that type of I never leave anything I always been that it was just that I didn’t know the world word go from start in the 80s because we didn’t have that

Word here and we didn’t have that many magazine that was writing about those type of St things or taking a word into because it’s always like heavy metal or pop that type of thing in the magazines for youngsters did your parents ever get used to it or accept it my my dad

Started actually to accept it very much because I knew um he died for I think was it six years or something now going to be in April but just before I remember that we went over to his place and I actually had leggings that wasn’t black they were very light

In the bottom but they had school prints all over them so I thought he should shouldn’t say anything but that was the first thing he actually pointed out you don’t have black pants so I thought that was really funny that he actually was the first thing he

He actually pointed out when I came that day because I thought it should say something about the schools or something that they don’t look like proper clothes oh well I’m definitely sorry for your loss um oh thank you of course and uh so for you um how has the scene

Evolved for you over the years I know mentioned before there’s not like really a big uh scene in Sweden or at least where you are in Sweden um so how not anymore okay not anymore um I should say the biggest point was actually somewhere around 2000 up to

20068 some with that then we still had a living se you could go out in town I had my friends but my friends was many times younger than me maybe not that much younger but they was still still younger than me because I was the older most of the times

So there were some of them were DJs and models and that type of things and we often went even to go but we had our own club sometimes here in BOS too and they actually had sometimes even cooperation with the metal heads so we could have

Like a club evening to yes because it’s a small town they the ones owns the clubs need to get the money in and to just have golf people is maybe not that much money but if you combine them with two different ones you may have them but

They were successful the go didn’t Man to dance to the metal music the guys from the metal music didn’t want to go there because they have all the golf go in their courses and everything it’s was the metal he has girlfriends that maybe didn’t like it that much nice yeah that’s really interesting

To hear I haven’t personally seen an event like that but I would love an event like that obviously yeah but we were very open like the industrial music and everything everything was like a mix on our clubs because that’s a way for us to survive too and have more people coming so

That’s why I think we were not that judging in the same way like people are today today they want to separate everything you can’t come here because you listen to Industrial it’s not golf or you listen to that and that is not goth but but they don’t remember that in

The 90s and in 2000 actually even in other countries those different genres were very close on the clubs definitely and that’s why there’s so many layers and why people get so confused um like we said earlier especially because this thing that happens with goth doesn’t happen with

Any other genre so there’s just so many more layers with goth um and Isa life said it’s so funny back way back it was all just goth now there’s so many subcategories I was asked by a baby bat what kind of goth I was and I said just goth I mean

Yeah I think it’s very funny because I know when this Spotify rep come the last time now when it started for 2033 you’re going to know what your Spotify rep was and they put some golf label on my music and I didn’t even know what that was

What and they say you have listened to this genre for so much I was thinking okay the other one I recognize Neymar what the [ __ ] is this that’s so funny so I was thinking no get this old I can’t even keep up with all type of labels inside Go music out because

Suddenly something that I was thinking what I know I haven’t listened to something else than the usual that I us that often is like dark wag go Rock Post Punk and that type of things so what the heck is this that’s so funny and yeah and about

The clubs I think that’s also what confuses people too cuz there’s the scene right and there’s like the golf subculture and like you said a lot of times to stay alive or to to survive the clubs and the Knights you do combine genres cuz that’s really cool there’s a

Metal one I’ve never seen that but like you said the most I’ve seen is usually industrial and Goth together uh ebm dance music and Goth together so it’s like kind of what’s accepted within like the scene in the subculture versus like the genre labels but it’s just so many

Layers like I get why confusing for yeah but but we we have nowadays we even have every year something they call sub Festival then and that is a music festival that is alternative but it’s mainly on little different it’s golf it’s Punk and is like electronic music is the industrial whatever they take

This year so it’s both bands from Sweden and bands from abroad so I have seen both she pass away and leanon hanov for an example on those things so be awesome yeah that is awesome and I know from some of your uh photos that you shared um you used to have like the

The cyberlocks and the Falls uh which is really cool because um a lot of people who um I guess were around before that became big kind of rejected that whole thing and you know were judgmental of that but it was awesome to see you actually participated in that as well so

Yeah I could say in at least in Sweden back then people were not that in just one type of box when you went to the clubs my friends of went for the color theme for the month some was completely s with green in the clo thing and if it

Was for like cyber golf type of version of go with Lolita whatever or fatish golf whatever this felt for and I was the same I to the cloes I felt for the moment so I was not just one week I could be Victorian next one I did a mix

With u like cyberg and that type of things whatever and also you actually did your things yourself too many of pieces so I think we were more more creative we wanted to have our own style and not just stay in one thing yeah you can feel

Comy and inerted in a type of way and find that you may be oh I like to be in Trad go for an example but there are people that want to be creative because they feel that yeah TR go can be very creative but if I just stick in this one

Then I have limit myself to express myself so they gladly jumped on everything or mixed everything together in something that make them yourself unique in a certain way yeah and that’s fun it’s fun to give yourself that like creative Liberty uh to addess how you

Feel that day um so did you all have a lot of ebm cuz I guess that was probably in the 2000s in the clubs was there a lot of uh ebm and kind of cyber goth take over yeah it was probably a lot of that too plus we even have like Shas like

Ramstein and Mar manans and Rob Zombie was hitting into the clubs too so people didn’t mind that we had people that we actually called Manson nightes because they looked like Mar Manson because that was the biggest Idol so they tried to look actually like him back then so you

Had all type of people they just wanted to be creative they wanted to be themselves but maybe it’s not the creative to just look exactly like your Idol but you know what I mean they felt free to actually be who they were so they were not St that oh now it’s just

This type of style everyone GNA be so we could actually mix everything up people didn’t complain we had fun we couldn’t hear everything and it could be like more syn music we call it too we have a certain mention for people that just like B like the P mod craft stff or

Whatever they were called we called them because they always only look only wanted to listen to s music electronic music but we all keep together and I think it’s when it come from a small place and especially like Sweden that don’t have as much as people because if

You compare with like the states and how many you are in a like your cities and everything you maybe have the whole [ __ ] Swedish population in one place that’s so true the club can’t survive if we don’t mix it in some type of way absolutely that totally makes

Sense and thank you for sharing that as well uh is a life says my style has unfortunately evolved into old and sick mom well you know we see I actually disagree I see I see your style and I see um even the things that you put around your house it’s always very

Interesting I think we a little too easy to judge ourself that we feel boring because we compare ourself with the other especially the influen type of things that’s true yeah so we forgot because we forgot what the mainstream people think about it because if you go to a mainstream person because I have

Tried to tone down when I’m going out to do other things but I know that maybe they not appreciate my like aesthetic or something but you can have people conf from no I know there’s something going on with you because you are not looking normal and I think what I look

Normal you’re like this is normal for me yeah that’s so funny but yeah that’s true like you know it I guess that is maybe they they say and we were talking about how social media and phones have impacted us um and obviously like every area of our lives but I even find myself

Thinking my house is so plain like I don’t have enough stuff up I don’t you know cuz I don’t have like in a Pinterest worthy aesthetic house like my house is boring I don’t yeah I feel I feel sometimes because I’m a sweds or compared with many Americans no matter

If they are poor or rich or whatever for me for me you are living in huge spaces you should be shocked to see how many Swedish actually lives in this compact type of living and I have seen sometimes when they show them from YouTube when they go around and they goingon to rent

Out some flat or something that they call small oh I think that is not a small flap it’s a big flap it’s all perspective too right it’s it’s all like perspective and experience um yeah definitely um so I see uh actually uh before we go into talking about YouTube um so who are

Some of your favorite bands when you first got into the scene and you already kind of mentioned some and who are some of your favorites now oh I I always forget the names on them but I know goth netic is one of the newest I found and he he us I think he

Just released a new song today so I think people should go check him out because he’s from can if I remember right and it’s really great to hear new music too but I do a lot lots of different stuff and I’m so bad on the name dropping but when it comes to all

The stuff if I not going to name my obviously first band number one that most people probably already know if they follow me so it’s like U London after midnight is one of the first band I that in cubba sucus is actually B saw in gothenberg and it was actually in

Nice to talk with a singer herself she was a really cool person and of course Lebanon Han no then you got B like blue tangle that not everybody agrees a goth B because it’s little more dark wav is I think that maybe going over little other type of

Direction but many back then thought it belonged to go too because we were listening to that type of music too and see now it’s blank in my head just of me when I’m going to name drop things no no worries that was I mean that was already a nice little list for

People to check out if they haven’t already raised in raised in black is other old band that is actually from Hawaii so I could say that go to the remix of oh my gosh that song yeah nice and I’ll find I’m not familiar with uh goth metic that’s not a band

I’ve listened to so I’ll I’ll make sure I find the song that they released and Link it in the description any and another great band is paraly paralyzed age I love them awesome well thank you for sharing uh some of your favorites and um I know that’s just the tip of the iceberg

Because I see all your videos especially the shorts you’re always sharing uh so many different bands which which I yeah and I discover new new new ones all the time but I forgot the names when you have a Spotify and when you have it on repe yes go the list you don’t remember

The band’s name but oh that’s song exactly and I think if people really want to discover music they should follow the channel obscura and dead yes that’s a great shout out or even like Cemetery confessions that talk a lot about the goic subculture everything that have to even have a guest that to

Talk about how they were growing up during the 80s and 90s and that type of things too or the present new and old bands or whatever so I think that’s also a good way to get more about girls definitely great shoutouts and I’ll link those in the description below

As well after uh we finished our interview uh so I see uh let’s talk about YouTube uh the first video you uploaded to YouTube was back in 2011 and it was a video of two of your dogs playing uh one looks like a Caren Terrier which I I love

Those yeah but this is much bigger dog yeah a a big dog that looks like a Caren terer that is actually a French breed that uh was like a sheep dog protecting the sheeps from wolves so it’s a name Bard a I can’t I can’t pronounce it in

France but it’s aard dog so a I I I love it it’s so cute a so what was going on uh in your life back then in 2011 oh it was actually starting of my dark era when it comes to my mental person life and when I almost lost all

My friends that was alternative to I came away from the alternative scene because I was living with the narcissist to married with him too for a while and I still live in the shadow of what he doing because of other circumstances but we not going to go into that here

Because I don’t want to make people depressed but what I can tell people that never be ashamed if you be a victim for a narcissist because it’s not your fault because you don’t know what a person is because they are so very nice in the beginning but when they have

Caught you in the web you are there and no matter how strong you are from start you’re gonna be the weakest person ever thank you for saying that and it’s so true uh it’s not your fault to anyone who’s experienced that because like you said they break you down slowly it’s a

It’s a slow breakdown so it’s not about if you’re a strong person or anything like that it’s really you’ve been a victim of of something really horrible so yeah and it was actually a pH of my life and I almost lost my contact with the alternative scene too because uh he

Even tried to use that against me so and he was in some type of bik environment too and they was saying that the people that was dress my way was the strippers so um it was not that fun that see that people was actually just seeing

That in like a sexual way because for me it’s not a sexual way way to express myself no matter if I have a short skirt or coret on me I’m not a stripper but I love that clothing I’m really sorry you went through that and thank you for being

Open and sharing um I know definitely there’s people who can relate to that and that’s kind of another layer you don’t hear much about in terms of goth being fetishized how it can impact people uh who are may you know in abusive relationships or situations like

That so yeah yeah thank you for being open about that we definitely don’t have to talk about that further if you don’t want to but I do appreciate you um mentioning that and sharing that because I know that’s very personal and can be difficult to revisit as well yeah so

That was in 2011 and and when did you finally get to get away what year was it when you I think this was from 2015 I finally got away in time and I think that was just in time because if I hadn’t gone that day I went I should

Probably not sitting here because I was so mental down so I was so close to actually finish my life so well I am glad you were able to get away and so glad that you’re here um and yeah I’m I’m really sorry again that you went through that and not diving more

Into um you know the darker parts um and if you don’t want to talk about anything obviously we can move on to the next question but uh and I know you said you’re still dealing with you know how that’s affected you um mentally but has anything kind of helped you to improve

Your um I guess mental state or help you heal I guess is the word I’m looking for I think in some cases it have grown my mental in such a way that I know that worth much better than that I shouldn’t be mistreated of someone just for the

Person I am they shouldn’t take advantage for the person I am no matter what type of gend sex you have you should just be able to be yourself and I think that’s showed up little lat because during some years we had a project called sopia lancast calendar

Calendar project and it was H by a person reneer from Australia and she picked up a 12 ambassadors for every calendar and uh everyone had to do something with the alternative the last ones even have like the whole Q type of things the qu type of things inside too

Because it’s very important because many inside alternative people are open persons many are even into the qu things too and that makes us even more U unable for other people so we need to stick together so the project was u a cooperation and all the money went to

The Sophia Lancaster foundation in UK and if gos have heard about what was going on why this project started from beginning from the mother Sylvia that was mom to to Sophie that was killed for actually being alternative her boyfriend was also in a very bad shape but he

Survived this attack and I think and the most scary part it was youngsters that actually did this and that was only because they were looking alternative and the the then I was in contact with another YouTuber but he’s dead now little sorry for that they killed the go maybe some people I heard

About from UK and his name was travel too so it not hard of me to remember the name in that case so he actually started say shouldn’t you be in the project said no I don’t think I’m good enough or big enough for being a goth type of thing

Because I’m just a small Swedish person but then finally the second last year Renee contacted me and asked me if I wanted to be in the calendar so I was actually in August I I love but the saddest thing when it comes to those things that people don’t think

About that we can have parallels they had even parallels to Sweden and you know that I mentioned sub festival and that we have here every year H and one of the biggest person behind it is called Mira and Mir was a friend with some people in

Goo and I usually hang in goo too in the same areas too because many of my friends live there too but uh they were mixed like uh go people with emo persons and that type of things uh little mixed but not mainstream people and one of her

Friends um you can call him P because that’s what we were called he was actually also murdered for being a alternative and she actually wrote a book about it but it’s just in Swedish too still I think she is working on English version too but I think other

Things comes first because you have all those big other things going on with Su festival and that typ of things so wow that’s really sad yeah and like I was thinking back then too that everybody freaked out because we were hanging in the same area so it could be

Us too because we also look like Freaks and everything and uh just because we looked in a certain way people don’t understand they don’t understand when I went into the shop ring up just doing ordinary shopping and I had hair extension when I have my Dre synthetic bread in my hair and

Everything you can have people coming and who my ha to see I was thinking you don’t do it on another yeah that’s like in any scenario it’s like I don’t know understand how people just violate personal boundaries in space and just be so disrespectful like that yeah and that’s what I think it’s

So sad today when we have all those go that try to gatekeep in the wrong type of way it’s the one thing to learn people about the music and that it should be the music that is the base for it that then you can express yourself no

Matter how you do it if you want to dress and do the makeup and everything great for you but at least have the music like the base and I think that should be better to focus on to keep us together like we was before to protect ourself to the other people people

Because you never know what’s going on nowadays especially when the world is changing so much like it does right now so we need of all help and all the support we are not that many I agree I love that that’s beautiful we should have some kind of uh

Dark alternative Club where we like support and protect each other for sure um but yeah that’s that’s really sad and it’s true like now that it’s kind of getting popular in the mainstream again it also comes with more danger again and more people bothering you again and the

Satanic panic and all these cycles that we’ve seen so many times it like all comes back the good and the bad too um seem to amplify at these times but I’m glad you were able to participate in the calendar and that you it sounds like

There was kind of a little bit of a a breakthrough in terms of you feeling you know worthy enough to and of course you always were but just like in that internal you know in that internal like some of us someone discovered a little me that lives in Sweden when you have so

Much more bigger ones I know that Angela Benedict and all that type of people have been in that one already before and Madame abin for example is one artist that nianda and I forgot all others but there are plenty of YouTubers that actually been in those five years

Is and the the last Swedish because we actually only been two Swedish ambassadors in the cand project was actually uh Loveless if you know Loveless cosmetics and that type of things so she have a channel too Victoria Lely yes that name does sound very familiar yeah um yes but yeah thank you

For um sharing that and I’m glad to see that you know um hopefully things continue to get better for you as well just like internally um so it looks like the very first time we see your face because uh you were uploading kind of like random videos at first and that’s very normal

For YouTube like that’s what YouTube was when it started was just a lot of random videos um so it was it was an easy way to share with other friends that you maybe didn’t met in the day so you could show something and it was easy way to

Show them because we couldn’t directly file them away because the computer was not that good and the internet definitely not yeah yeah definitely I remember that too um oh and then before we go on um Isa life said there are always people who try to make goth especially gothic girls into sexualized

Beings and toys yeah and again that’s another thing that gets Amplified when it’s in the mainstream um even now I get men and boys who act effed up when I dress goth yeah I’m sorry you have to deal with that um it does seem to be part of the

Cycle that we go through unfortunately um yeah but in the uh 2017 was the first time we actually got to see you in one of your videos and uh you made a video with Trevor about F uh when you posted your first blog in

2017 uh so where were you um oh you were already actually sorry sorry that didn’t make any sense your first video was with Trevor when you talked about F and then you made a vlog a little later on um where you just were talking about life and you even mentioned goth even from

That very first Vlog so what inspired you to start vlogging I’m not 100% sure because I think it took a very long time before I even D to upload everything because I knew that I’m not going to be as good as the other one that looks so more

Professional and when I compare like Black Friday and jel Ben adct and all those people so they so professional when they do something and they’re so huge when it comes to the scene too so I was thinking should little me even be able to do something and I know there

People that much better in music type of things especially when you’re going to take it down to every single little bit of how the song or the lyrics is made up or something and I’m not a good about it because I’m more like a feeling if I

Like what I hear I love it because it talks to me it talks to my a part so I was thinking for should I that or should I not and then I was thinking what the heck what can I lose I’m glad you did because yeah like

You said uh there’s always going to be like bigger YouTubers Youtubers with uh different levels of production and editing and stuff but I think what a lot of people like is just to see real people you know sometimes and you definitely like I said before open and

You share so many different parts of yourself and uh the subculture I think that’s what people really relate to with your videos as well so I’m glad that you did I’m glad that you did start posting back then yeah and I think that that’s a little War I do against the YouTube too

Because even YouTube tried to put you in a certain box to even monetize you because if you are spreading out your interest then you’re not worth it to be monetized it seems like but if you’re just in a tiny little things they might think about it but when it comes to just

Golf you’re not going to be discovered if you’re not a big one or have people that you are popular so people know who you are already so I think that’s very hard to just focus and like I said we gos we can do so much different things we are different person everyone

Everyone is very creative most of the times too so why should we just limit us to just talk about one thing we have people that are really good at it let them do that because they are much better they can do it more professional and especially nowaday when YouTube have

Been in Hustle when it comes to even try to put some music in the background and you get it warning and everything so it’s very hard to even introduce golf music for new people because then YouTube G to appro this and say no you can’t you can’t you can’t you have to

Take this away and it was not even that hard in the beginning because it was more easier to actually share things with each others that other way so it was easier to get people to discover because when we live in different parts of the world

So maybe we have a focus on some type of bands but we miss other type of bands and the other people miss other type of bands over here definitely that makes sense and oh yes I totally agree is a life said uh none of us are less because we aren’t

The well-known stars of the gothic or alternative life you are a star sunnies and you shine because you have a beautiful personality I couldn’t agree more it’s so true much yes it shines through in your videos but even in this conversation like you’re just so warm

And I have to say I love how you’re dropping F bombs because I can see like that’s just like you coming out and I love it oh that’s the person you have that’s the same person you got to get for real so why should I change my concept

Because that’s me I’m too old to that crap to try to plan be something El no absolutely me too and I love it um so you you have been super consistent though speaking of because there’s so many aspects to YouTube right and um like we said there’s so many

Different I guess kind of reasons why people do it and if you’re just doing it to express yourself and for fun then I it’s even I know even then we get caught up with the numbers and the algorithm and all that stuff but then we have to

Remind ourselves the end of the day okay like why am I doing this right um but you have been super consistent which is another aspect of YouTube and you gotten a ton of subscribers in a short amount of time so congrats for that because I remember literally in January yes in

January we were hanging out with Juan black you’re hanging out with us in in the live and uh we were saying yeah you’re going to hit 1K and now you like already got like a thousand another thousand in like the last two months so uh what has that been for

You it feels incredible because it I have very hard from 700 it took very long time because I thought already won year before I should reach a thousand because it was in the beginning of the year I had 700 but for some reason the subscribers numbers went down all the

Time first I gained some but then they dropped even more and I was thinking what the heck is going on and then I was seeing other saying about this thing that YouTube are taking away and if you’re not doing a certain way like YouTube wants you to do so they’re going

To take away because they don’t see them like the serious subscribers and blah blah blah or they are fake account because they’re not active enough we take them away but I say it’s up to the person that follow you to stay subscribe or not I don’t think someone else should

Decide that for you or even if you have a channel that maybe is not that living for the moment you have things going on in life maybe so that’s why you maybe take a break so I think it’s not fair for people that actually try to grow or

Something even if it’s not just about the numbers because I I love this community when you start to know people and you actually can go even to Bigg YouTubers and talk with them and they say oh oh I like you and that type of things and they start to talk with you

Like a friend too and you think it’s fabulous because I should never met those person for real if I don’t go over and I’m not sure I even gonna get to us any day I’m happy to been in the UK but I have never directly met Goths in

Person that much it’s just a few person we met that are know been Goths but uh that’s another question it’s not like we gone over for going to the goth weekend or something that is in whiy twice a year or something like that but I should love to go somewhere and like

Go to Germany when you go to the W goic tra and and metaluna and all those type of things that are Big B should be a dream too but it cost a lot it cost a lot and I don’t have the money I know exactly what you mean it’s

Like all especially like these big big events that happen and or even events that happen in other towns it’s like oh man I wish I could go there and you know hang out with uh the people in the scene there that you met YouTube but yeah it’s

Expensive so yeah and some people even say oh but it’s not hard yes drive four hours for example when we have bands coming to for example to go to Stockholm that is our Capital time but it’s at least four or five hours driving in good conditions and we have all type of

Weather we have a very hot winter too so it’s not just going going plus if you go there it’s often during a weekday or something you’re going to need to stay somewhere because it’s not like you’re going to drive back the same day and everything is so expensive so it’s not

That easy to just go it’s not just the concept you’re going to pay for you’re going to have to pay for other stuff too and it cost a lot to get that too so if you’re not very money it goes to get so you can take down the cost that weight or you

Can the most people want to drink to so you’re often going to end up with just one person and going to drive anyway so that person GNA be dead before he can get back that’s so true yeah and so as much as we and who knows like you said maybe

One day and we can all uh keep hoping for that day when you know we could all get to meet in person hang out go to these events but even without that you’re right without YouTube a lot of us wouldn’t have met and it’s just amazing

With YouTube and social media that we do get to connect um so yeah I love that and we are almost at time I would love to stay longer but I actually have to hop on to work so unfortunately this day I don’t get we don’t get to go over so

Um we we should do a part two because there’s still so much to talk about with your channel and everything else and this has been really fun um but uh what are you looking forward to I guess for our last question for today what are you

Looking forward to for the rest of the year for YouTube and for your own life and personally uh I’m not person show but I’m looking forward for maybe coming over to UK this year because I hope so because Trevor haven’t been back home for six0 years now and to live with an

Englishman in Sweden is even if people think you are in Europe it should be like similar type of living but it’s actually not and he’s very English English in his way too and he a metal head it’s not a golf but he can listen to golf music anyway and like I said I

Can listen to music too so it’s not like we are stuck in that Ty we can’t share things but we hope to get over and I hope I’m going to meet some of my girl friends that I met on Instagram for an example and hopefully even if I have

Time can meet some of the YouTubers that have met too here and that also is into the alternative style too so we have for example the health Anarchist that is from UK is a guy that started more like a Punker but nowadays have gone over more to towards golf itself but he have

Moved like me because we are similar age so we have similar background even from UK how we met with the music and everything and with people around it and that we actually hang together with the same type of freaks that were mixed so it should be very nice to

Actually meet them and even maybe do a video about it too yeah oh that’s exciting and UK I know well I guess it depends on where but I’m pretty sure they have uh different goth pockets of goth scenes there too so who knows maybe you’ll get

To go event yeah but I think that depends on where because it’s like with everything you have travel and uh Trevor is from the Northwest part so I think the closest we can come to the scene is Manchester but then we also have the time Blackpool that is not far away from

Where he was when you have the bad aor is coming from too too so and the singer in AO is actually very working for Sophia Lanas Foundation nowadays too so awesome well I uh definitely wish all the best for both of you and that you

Get to make it out there and have a good time and meeting people and seriously thank you for the time this was really really fun and it was great getting to talk with you and getting to know you and before we go um links to Sunny’s uh Channel and Instagram and everything is

In the description and is there anything you want to say to anyone watching present or future I would say to people don’t listen to people that say that you can’t be goth because you don’t look like go if you love the music you are a go for

Me at least and that’s I think that’s the main rule for the most elder gos too we don’t going to judge you because you’re not looking like one and go has so many wide things too and you can listen to other type of music too because the musicians do the same

Because they’re not stuck in just one thing either because else they shouldn’t get any inspiration definitely you yes that’s the best message and thank you for being you and for sharing you uh and parts of your life on your channel and here today so thank you Sunny you are awesome and I

Hope you have a great rest of your day and we’ll see you all later take care of yourselves and we’ll see you later bye byebye