Shoot From The Hip – HUGE | FULL COMEDY SPECIAL

Live from the Stratford East Theatre, for one night only, Shoot From The Hip present: HUGE

A full SFTH show, with costumes, props, and PROPER mayhem.

Credits:
-Performed by Shoot From The Hip (Tom Mayo, Alexander Jeremy, Sam Russell, and Luke Manning)
-Filmed by Flud.Digital
-BTS by Colin Power
-Edited by Joe Bayley

Want to see more content and full shows from Shoot From The Hip? Then join the Patreon, right here: https://www.patreon.com/shootimpro

[Applause] ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Stratford theater clap your hands and stop your feet and welcome go from [Applause] the w hey ladies and gentlemen welcome to the straford E theater how we doing lovely I am Sam Russell we are sh from the hip and tonight we’re going to

Be doing some improvised comedy for you uh give me a cheer if you’ve seen improvised comedy before good CU J you’ve never seen it before said a lot more nervous that group okay I’ll explain uh everything you see tonight is completely made up on the spot it’s not like stand up a sketch

Or a play we’ve never done any of this before and we to do any of it again and to prove that we take your ideas and suggestions for everything that we do this evening so let’s get warmed up for yelling things out single people give us a

Cheer okay Madam you win the loneliness Olympics very good people you’re having a great time good uh so it just started uh people people in relationships a you smug [ __ ] people in love [Applause] a slight hesitation there on that one you hear that that’s great of course I’m

Not going to need you I just scream out guttery the main thing we take are things like location so starting off in this sort of section here uh can I get some places uh you might go to work Notting Hill Council barban London London brid this

Is just a tube map that’s very nice what about some more like type like a like a butcher or from this section over here like a profession Barber prison vet consult consultant CER and a Candlestick maker thank you very much man I’m from nursery rhyme times

Over there very good uh from the uh the sort of middle row here where are some places you may take someone on a first date Beach comedy show hello hope it’s going well uh anymore Hospital creepy uh and what was that Derby Derby you’re in luck love we’re going to

Derby good and from the very top let’s imagine you’ve had this wonderful first date you’ve had a lovely relationship you’ve learned about yourself about the other person but all things come to an end where do you take someone on a final date the bedroom who any more last dates from at the top

Don’t duck pun perfect H and anymore what last one the toilet was that the theater toilets okay you guys can just meet up after the show and have a time of your lives that’s great I quite like Duck Pond are we’re going to use that for the

First uh game of the show are you guys ready for your first game of the show this is one of my favorites this game is called change the way it works two players are going to get up behind me they’re going to start a little scene

At a duck pond but if I get bored with anything that saying or doing I can yell out the word change they have to go back in time and change whatever they’ve just done or just said so please can we get a round of applause for the dark [Applause]

P look at all these lovely ducks jery look at all these lovely people Jeremy oh I’m feeling a little scared Jeremy you should be Miranda change you shouldn’t be Miranda change Miranda why on Earth would you be scared such a beautiful surroundings change such terrifying surroundings change such surroundings I have never

Seen before where the hell are we you said we were going on a day trip to Oxford this is not Oxford no but this is a duck pond and I thought it would be nice the two of us tell me where it is Miranda where the duck pond is yes

Miranda Right here f it no what the [ __ ] wrong with you yes I see it now Miranda I must get my vision checked I know we’re getting old the two of us we’re getting young the two of us now you’re losing your hair and I’m taking your

Hair I uh think that what you’re wearing is too close what I’m wearing I need you to strip completely naked Miranda they change oh we haven’t done that since we were 17 it’s true but now the time has come and I thought what better place than when we first stripped naked this

Duck yes I remember it like it was yesterday change it was yesterday and see thank you all right now for this next game I need all three players in a line behind me uh this game is called hand of God they’re going to tell a story but like

This when I pointed them they have to speak once upon a time there was a little boy he was happy happy as a little boy could be excellent uh now if they make a mistake if they garble their words like this there was once a time

Where then you guys as a collective have to shout the word die as loudly as you possibly can can we have a little practice on three the word die one two three that was very very good but once again you really hate this man’s face 1 2 three excellent if one drunken person

Shouts in the corner I will ignore them like that has to be a collective decision from everyone uh and they will die now for this story we need a famous person from the second row let’s have a famous person from history any famous historical figure Michael Jackson Michael Jackson

What what a breadth of History you have sir let’s let’s try and Elevate tonight yeah push ourselves anymore whoa what was that one over herein amberin Henry VII wife yes good choice amberin any more over here Bruce Lee Bruce Lee oh that is good though isn’t

It Bruce Lee Bruce Lee Bruce Lee Bruce Lee yeah and from the top TI can we have please an object unrelated to Bruce Lee the first suggestion we get in every single sof an object there always spatula what’s from over there chocolate milk chocolate milk

Yes this is the story of the Kung Fu artist Bruce Lee movie star extraordinaire and the chocolate milk guys be ready with the word die okay Round of Applause to Bruce Lee the chocolate milk W sweat dripped off of Bruce Lee’s body he was exhausted and yet still strong

He’d ended the days fil Ming and he was sweaty and thirsty he ran to the little mini fridge inside his tray inside the most electable pint of chocolate milk he immediately ripped it open and guzzled it all up down through his body went fueling his muscles fueling his soul

Ah he punched a hole through the trailer surprising a small child who had been walking down the road he got knocked out instantly cold knocked out cold Bruce Lee didn’t care because he was still feeling for good and NES inside yes everyone nearby knew that he’d had his

Choc BL milk and this was the most peaceful time in Bruce’s life then there was a knock at the trailer um uh excuse me sir uh I think you you You’ CA some damage it was the producer who was a coward he didn’t want to upset the star

He wanted to just really give him a good time I hope you enjoyed your chocolate milk in your mini fridge Mr Lee that was an amaz he was cut off when a hand re through it was a narrative fine this is chapter two of Bruce Lee and the

Chocolate milk it was years later and Bruce Lee’s chocolate milk addiction had taken over his life he had down tons of the stuff and grown to 7 feet tall muscles popping from every part of his body all his insatiable hunt for chocolate milk he would break into a

Tesco throw uh the cashier to the side T run down the aisles pouring the entire Dairy section into his body and then he saw him the only man who could stop Bree Le’s horrible chocolate milk the Final Chapter Bruce Lee what Bruce Lee and the chocolate milk Bruce Lee’s mortal enemy was Bree

Lee he was born of the mirror dimension of equal height equal stature but instead of chocolate milk he drank oat milk ha said Bri Le he hit him with a right hand chop and Bruce Le defended with a left hand chop so the two of them

Just fell cuz they had both been hit badly meanwhile in the background that band started playing the hit song Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting not going to do that not going to do that not going to do that said Bruce Lee Bruce Lee got back up he

Looked at his opponent brce Lee in the eye and he said to him look I know martial arts better than you do oh is that so [ __ ] yes it’s true and now we will have a final showdown okay did anybody come to a show like this and think this might be a little

Bit boring and bring a book with them all right okay my holy [ __ ] go further in go further inita no I’ve got some B this this side I’ve never seen books being produced so fast so the way this works I think we’re booked up is that um are we’re entirely

Booked up is that Luke can say absolutely anything that he wants whereas Tom can only speak in lines from why mommy swears classic and Sam can only speak in lines from the power of plagues wow that’s how this is going to work so can I get an activity that people might do any

Activity what was that one Hopscotch Hopscotch let’s go with popc I got a page number oh page number 2012 22 2 22 all right great he can only speak in L from page 22 and 69 69 nice okay they’re going to start here give them a big round of applause begin thank

You this is page 22 oh Sarah they grow up so fast don’t they oh Simon is sick really sick Sarah I know sick but we agreed we wouldn’t tell him a not just with a sniffle or a cold or a bit of a cough he is terribly dreadfully

Debilitated Sarah please we spoke about this at the hospital it’s Touch and Go whether he will make it Sarah please just let him enjoy the game all right this might be his last year with us Sarah what Turner Entertainment Company licensed by Warner Brothers Yeah that’s the company daddy works for yes oh did you hear what we were saying I Hollywood’s view listen oh God I have Ebola I’m going to die Australopithecus Sarah that could be Sarah you didn’t tell me you’ve got Eola H zika Ebola Hollywood’s view are you saying

I’m going to lose both of you in the same year this is awful Sarah how am I going to live without you oh he is terribly dreadfully debilitated of course I’m debilitated 200 2001 of Space Odyssey and see there thank [Applause] you okay uh we’re now going to perform a

Scene for you uh and when that scene finishes we might start another one but before each scene we’ll come to you for a different kind of stimulus like a a relationship or a setting or whatever we’ve got a load of props on the table behind us and some costumes and hats and

Things like that we’re going to Pepper those throughout the show but to start off this first scene can I have please uh from uh from the middle section can I have an opening line of dialogue please yay sorry I I’ve changed my mind from the bottom

Section what what was that one it’s a great day for paddle boarding it’s a great day for paddle boarding that’s the sort of [ __ ] I want let’s give the top tier a chance top tier an opening line of dialogue The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar is a masterpiece the hungry hungry

Caterpillar is a masterpiece I do like that the hungry hungry caterpillar is a masterpiece is our opening line of dialogue for this first scene we’re going to do a whole load of scenes in a row but a round of applause for the hungry hungry caterpillar is a [Applause] master

The hungry hungry caterpillar is a masterpiece too [ __ ] right darling I mean you’ve really outdone yourself this time jamaa this is the best children’s book you’ve ever written it took absolutely everything out of me as you can tell I sat down on that page and I [ __ ] bled darling I really did I

Really felt the hunger in the Gerald can I get a brandy please yes of course I really felt the hunger in the caterpillar where did that where did that come from inside you darling Oh well I did some research I went out I found some caterpillars and I just

Started to ask it questions I I wanted to know it’s motivation I wanted to know what the spine of the character truly was and I feel like I’ve I’ve done it in this book said you’ve gone outside and talk to caterpillars uh yes just part of my writing process darling darling we

Talked about this remember the last when you were writing spot the dog you got thrown out of B these dogs home I got what thrown out of battery dogs home for talking to the dogs people thought you were mad do I look mad to you I’m clearly perfectly Sayan how big

Of a hit was spot the dog give me the numbers the best-selling children’s book of all time it’s just so simple but darling I’m worried you’re going backwards in your therapy tell him it’s [ __ ] great nothing about this tells me that I’m going back in my therapy I think if anything I’m moving

Forward darling this is clearly a masterpiece and your work is phenomenal but I love you more than any of your writing I just want you to be okay you want me to be okay yes well look I’m I’m I’m fine what do you think spot the

Dog stop talking to the dog I can’t understand you tell him you know yourself and to know oneself is to be a true artist you stop that thing howling to know oneself is to be a true artist this is what I this is what we’ve been discussing that’s what the dog said to

You yes what is it give him a slap look darling I can call oh that was real that was kind of hot listen if you don’t believe in my work then I guess me spot the dog could you could you put the little leash a little bit longer please

You’ve Got The Look button and can I now get a relationship between two people like do and patient teacher and student or father and Father and Son enemies enemies and what was yours madamti therapist and patient we’ll tell you that give her a round of applause to begin

All right uh so I see we’ve had some backsliding do you want to take me through it step by step then no no no see now last time I saw you you had two hands total this time I see you’ve got a third thank you yes nice to see you too but

Uh come on use your words where’s I where’s I was I was outside all right and uh I I I forgot to have breakfast ah and I got a bit hungry see not having breakfast is one of those triggers we talked about isn’t it yeah I I I realize this this doesn’t

Look great it looks it looks I mean do you want some no I’ve got I’ve got some no no why I said waste not want not spit spit it’s mine it’s fine now listen is there any more of a body anywhere no no I ate the rest of it

It’s all okay okay well that’s no that’s a bad thing that’s another bad thing listen what do we say about Cheerios they’re nutritious and delicious they’re nutritious and delicious but this was also delicious and nutritious okay but the downside here was murder murder was doubt yeah so now this changes things

Somewhat okay because uh just found another one yeah now I I’m pretty pretty sure what’s happened here is your wife who is very embarrassed by you is just trying to sort of help me get an idea of the scale of a problem yeah is that right Amy I think actually she needs some

Therapy she’s a bit of a hoarder she keeps all this lying around the house okay but I can see this is a fresh this a fresh cat isn’t it yeah fresh one okay so here’s what I’m going to suggest okay it’s a treatment plan going forward you stay

Inside and someone else locks the door and we call that prison PR there we go I think that might be for the best let’s see let’s see can I have another opening line of dialogue this time from the top tier what do you mean we’ve run out of bees

What do you mean we’ve run out of bees what do you mean we’ve run out of bees what do you mean we’ve run out of bees what do you mean well you you know you can uh just ask the farmer he’s uh he’s been on top

Of a bee situation so far yeah that’s right I have and initially we had several bees and now we um sorry we had several thousand bees can’t just keep several bees someone’s not a [ __ ] beekeeper listen I’ve got I’ve got quotas that I’ve got to meet with the

Amount of honey that I need okay for all right I know you want to use all these bees in a super weapon of some kind and you’re Neo fascist what don’t touch my hat yes okay fine we we’re building a super weapon all right and I’m you know

One of the one of the henchmen I get that but you know the Honey’s got to be on time sorry one moment are we using the honey as a super weapon rather than the thousands of bees I I was under the impression we were using the thousands of

Bees you were under the impression we were using several bees all right well you know you put poison in one bee stinger and Ah that’s a weapon what are you doing with honey the honey Powers the super machine that’s how it works the bees hang on so

You’re saying that we need a whole separate super weapon powered by honey so really we could have just got a battery cuz what I’m here I’m sorry to do this in front of you no no it’s quite all right but what I’m why I’m hearing

At the moment is that the honey was an additional extra yeah and we didn’t actually have to take a honey rout here what don’t you understand about this okay several things all right honey makees super weapon all right now that’s there’s a gap in your logic there do you

Want to be part of the horn spikes or not well I don’t even have a hat do I I’m out here in the cheapest shirt and that’s all I got well the uniform isn’t great it’s just a hat really but and why do you have a hat no I

Don’t don’t look over there like there’s another one if I get the Hat maybe I’ll get on board well it’s just I took this cuz it’s better than the previous hats that we used to wear okay but I I never get anything I’ve just take it off give me

The Hat well I don’t understand it’s why you’re asking me for normal British bees well I’ve got a whole load of killer African bees over there killer African bees all right how how we’ll take we how many how many yeah how many have you got

I I’m not telling you how many I’ve got this is a shambles this is a shambles this is just like when we try to use a dolphin as a mallet but why can we get a word any word le what was that leacy grave mail grave mail grave Grain Mill Grain

Mill Know Grain Mill what is the word gra Mill oh we hate it when the wind doesn’t blow a get a Grain Mill they said the wind will do all the work for you they said but no no just old Larry pushing the Grain Mill around all right there Papa all right

Jack M says what time are you going to be back well I don’t know I still got a l grain to grill oh everyone’s very hungry at home oh are they hungry I’ve been pushing this giant Stone around for 7 hours no one’s come to give me any

Water or any lemonade or anything it’s just old Larry pushing the stone around feel like sisifus it’s a very smart reference I’ve got to be honest Papa I don’t really know who sisifus is is that what Mommy said the Milkman gave her now Jack yeah you’re not in trouble

Not done anything wrong oh what exactly did Mommy say about the Milkman she said the milkman’s very nice he gives her lots of extra cream but last time he gave her sisifus wait okay um I’m going to go and have a little word with Mommy all right

And you take over the Grain Mill all right but I’m only seven Char labor laws won’t be invented for another hundred years oh hello hello your dad’s not around is he no oh oh was Tony the Milkman Tony the milk I just just on my

Way to visit your M as it happens in my tiny ill fetting hat got a special bottle for her is that a jar of Copus what jar of sisifus yeah sure it is your little to here we go anyway you have a fun time doing second for you go back to

Hello I’ve um just having uh just having some milk you know as you do when you’re parched on the road anyway best be off get my gun Oh so oh perfect now the two of you and there lovers trees right here don’t overreact little boy says you got some sisifus want to explain sisifus you’re talking about the great Greek philosopher is that who that is no if you knew who it was I might have forgiven you yes I have

Syphers okay you been [ __ ] the Milkman no I I was just bringing my cream and uh mommy has to get her cream from somewhere okay and if it’s not coming from you then it will come from whoever I can get it from do you understand can I give you cream

M no no no badly I think we’ve had enough low brow we’re we’re now going to have an expert come out and tell you about something amazing they have done they’re going to talk in a very unusual way you will see as they begin all I need from you guys

Is I need to know what they are an expert in and I think we’ll go I love your enthusiasm I I I want I want onology onology onology onology these guys are worried but we can’t hear them so no I know what onthology is God if he can’t hear me maybe he’s stupid

That’s probably it no I I want actually I do want something animal related but I want he has taught an animal to do a sport so which animal don’t say birds bie you know what just so it doesn’t get too highbrow I’m going to take Beaver lovely he has Tau a beaver

To play a sport what sport is wins I like I like volleyball I’m going to go with he has taught beavers to play volleyball and I picked that because I’m not quite clear on what volleyball is so he’s taught beavers to play volleyball he’s going to speak one word at a time

I’m going to host the show you’re going to give him a huge round of applause so again oh hi guys welcome back to Dr Michael’s late night show we’ve got an amazing expert with us today thank you so much for joining us to State now this

Expert is going to tell us all about beavers now beavers are fun Little Critters uh they do a range of things they build dams they miss about in the water but also turns out they play volleyball so would you like to tell me what first came to your head that made

You go beaver volleyball yes please firstly I am very happy to be here with you I did not expect them to be German okay sorry I didn’t no I was German well well Dr thinkle buett um yeah yeah wow I didn’t know anyone could be more energetic than me so doctor um

You you’ve taught beavers to engage in uh in volleyball why would you say this is done for them socially it is very good for the Beavers because they work together as a team and play together as a team therefore they are able to work together as a team okay I see Team yeah

Yeah okay great team spirit love it okay so you doing great okay so you’ve got your team of beavers here now now I here with head and ex why are you laughing what’s wrong with a team of beavers splashing about getting wet no okay great so your team

Of beavers had some amazing progress last night there they they actually took on the uh they actually took on the men the men’s volleyball team and they and the be is absolutely crushed for men yeah yeah they were fantastic yeah so fantastic they’re watching us right

Now oh right and I I think you can hear the Beavers if we just listen for a minute beavers how are you doing they sound unwell but so so you you were going to say I can see them F and shining through last night I parted with little uh

Josephine Josephine is my favorite B she is is very good at playing Vol ball spiking the ball and spiking my drinks a naughty now now you and rine an amazing team and I hear you actually think you’re branching out yeah would you mind also uh teams will join the

Team that we started such as the zeas and the Otters especially otter ERS are the natural uh killers of Z Beaver wait one I know wait one moment you’re saying that you’re being in a PR species to help you deal with the Beavers this is an unpleasant turn I

Would say what do you think from me I am a insane German what do I think I think that’s a horrible uh stereotype of an entire country but given that you are German I’m sure we won’t get any complaints so listen but before before we go we’ve

Got a quick clip here of one of the Beavers playing so if we could just play that there we go now you can see the way the the beaver sees the human man and you can see the rage enter his body and the way he just suddenly out

Classes there he is out classes the human man who falls down and is mildly unhappy but then following that there’s a turn there’s a turn and it becomes something unlike unlike uh aggression and more like affection more like heavy physical affection more like a love and a lust

That can penetrate right through a net and really ensure a happy Beaver at the end of the day now I’m struggling to get you to comment on this uh but I’m considering asking you to comment any second about how do you feel about that it’s natural

That beavers are uh horny okay and give him a big round of [Applause] applause okay we are now going to play a brand new game that we’ve never done before that we can only do here what I need is my uh three teammates here they’re going

To get all the hats that we stole from the prop cupbo today and we’re going to play a game called dating app what’s going happen is we are going to have someone come up with a hat they have to pretend to be a character and try and

Charm the pants off of you I will be having my little horn here where’s I got chicken if I as soon as I’ve had enough of that character I can squeeze my chicken and then we’ll have a brand new character on so we got a round of applause for a brand new [Applause]

Game detective James Mangold here for you I need to ask you a few few questions one are you someone who enjoys a man who’s dominant in bed hello my name’s Peter none of it works But um my mommy said that I should find an after school activity I’ll put a spell on you you cheeky [ __ ] ow hello I’ve just uh given myself concussion so my standards have really dropped in the last 10 seconds please hon the hor I can’t see left right left right left right strip

Down take it off yeah so it [ __ ] you know I really like you cuz you remind me of my [Laughter] sister [Laughter] uh you should date me if you are someone that doesn’t believe Co was real but knows to the Bubonic plague OAA do dooo I would like to f [ __ ] [Applause] you oh boy could I please get two players on either side and then Luke over here we’re going to now play a game called foreign film we are going to play you an incredible scene from a foreign film but we are going to need a language for this film what is the

Language Russian was the first one that I heard Russian um and I would like a a relationship between two people what cop and robber cop and robber okay oh and also what’s the what is the name of this film D B dust B the Russian Film cop and Rober dust B the Russian

Film the way this works we’ll be speaking in Russian gibberish and then on the side they’ll be translating it’s going to be absolutely incredible ladies and gentlemen Das Boot is all clear up there yep all looks good to me Roger B wait my hats in my eyes I can’t see AIC what’s going

V VOD VOD it’s his name you are an embarrassment to me in my dreams ever since I was even shorter ever since I was even shorter I have dreamed of bringing Prestige to my family but they stick me with a little baby boy D you Mick you’re a piggy boy piggy

Bo I’m not a piggy boy you’re you’re the piggy boy Hong Kong with you think you’re all good with your big gun compensating for something CR fine then if you are so sure of yourself take it is this a trick yes go is this a trick yes I’m going to try and shoot

Something I’m a really good shot laughter laughter good luck with that piggy boy piggy Bo oh listen I’m you what the I am a champion stripper round and round we go just Where The Booty stops nobody [Applause] knows oh my god I’ve never seen such beauty I’m sorry I was angry you you

Take the guns I should always have the bigger weapon do you think maybe I have the body to strip and ladies and I know ladies and gentlemen we’re now going to play a game called for this I need lots of different genres from you guys I need some genres

Of film genres of Television genres of theater etc etc so easiest one first from the bottom stalls here can I have some genres of film please all Scifi and from the back of the Stalls Weston sci-fi bwood Bollywood porul excellent uh Bollywood porn is that

One uh now from this middle tier here a little bit harder can we have some genres of television please finish soap opera finish soap opera great anime anime documentary documentary TV kids TV love it uh and from the top tier hardest of all but I’ll give you the

Longest to think about it some genres of theater please puet musical puppet show and Opera Shakespeare Opera Shakespeare excellent you’ve got some ready drama what Drama revenge French drama pretentious pretentious pretentious French drama yes very good um right for this I need two actors to the

Stage uh they’re going to start a scene whenever I feel like it I yell the word freeze I’ll grab a genre from you guys and they have to carry on the scene in that genre but to start us off uh can I have please a relationship between two

People from what was that one horn Stars horn Stars we’re leaving that from from the the middle tier from the middle tier eggs eggs two eggs one day we’re going to go with ex’s this is a a scene between two x’s get your genres ready uh Round of Applause for the game [Applause]

Genre still come to this uh copy shop yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just’re Brewing it great still drinking the daring Y at a coffee shop AR you fun you know you always said never like to make things easy that’s what you

Always said about me David So freeze now that we’ve got at least one name uh let’s have I’m Luke and I know two names can I have a genre of film please from down here Weston Weston listen stepen I’m sorry about the way I ended things but things were just getting too

Real too quickly you know David I don’t think you should come back here again I think this right here in my coffee shop and I don’t think both it you want to come between me and my Dar G Lang well we’re going to have a go damn problem stepen I don’t want to

Cause you any harm I’m willing to walk out of here you already already you already CA me all the harm in the world D please can I have another sum of film please film Noir film Noir that’s the thing see when you when you walked out of my life you took my

Heart with you start down those mean streets where the rain falls like tears on Des a plane Des a plane that’s what you got on you got that plane you flew a long long way away and I wish you’d stayed there so I never have look at

Your eyes again and see over pain over possibility listen Dar face you knew this wasn’t going to work out the day you met me I’m a loose cannon I’m a live wire I’m a man with nothing to lose and everything to hide wow wowow wow uh the middle of row another genre

Of film a gen of film Mur mystery murder mystery murder mystery it’s actually interesting that I bumped into you today see um one of my other ex’s toes been murdered I don’t know what you mean there was a small scattering of D jiling at the scene of the

Crime I’ve been here waiting for my tea for the last 4 days couldn’t possibly have been me a Clue uh from the top another sh of film please what was that one David Lynch serial killer bi serial killer I opic when I first met Steven he seemed so nice so Charming that he never heard a fly but I could not find any record of

Him on the line from before 1987 that might be because he was only 31 and hadn’t been born yet but I didn’t know he had an old soul and big hands strong hands hands of a killer free uh from the middle to can have a genre of Television genre

Television what was that one nature docent we just had a documentary another one cooking show cooking show cooking show what happens when you take two ex’s put them together in a tense situation what do you end up cooking drama now this steling has been brewing for several minutes we’re going to have

A look inside and see how it’s doing it’s daring another Su of television from down here T [Applause] no right I’m going to over a show do this up before someone Falls pregnant um right uh this next game is called uh letters what’s going to happen

Is uh two players are going to come over this side they’re going to write a letter of complaints writing it one word a time like this Dear Sir or Madam I am writing perfect uh what I need is what is some of might can play about on an

Everyday basis let’s just go from this corner here parking parking fine very nice this bit over here Cal G cereal uh this slide up here delivery delivery that’s quite nice and vague it could be delivering everything and we all [ __ ] hate those delivery things all right so they’re going to write a letter

Complaint about delivery go with it wherever you want we me and Tom might write the rebuttle if we feel like their letter wasn’t up to Snuff so please we got a round of applause for the letter of [Applause] complaints Dear Mr FedEx two months I have waited for your

Package and it is not here my friend is dead the end of his life was misery waiting for your package he wanted just is that’s denied when you didn’t give us your package please take this moment and realize that you are a insignificant part of the ecosystem you especially you Mr FedEx yours

Sincerely John James dear Joan we burned your package two months ago we are enjoying burning packages watching them crackle into dust ha ha ha here I have a policy when you want something sent to a address we say no go home and think about what your

Choices are leading to until then I will be outside watching you sleep yours C FedEx we’re now going to play a game called Time Warp and this these guys do a SC I have the powers of time I can move them forwards backwards whatever I like

And what I want from you guys is an important moment from Life something like birth death some of the stuff that happens in between what have we got name I’m going to take some from up here I love that you don’t understand pointing but that’s fine oh I heard

Marriage some from the top first day of school losing your virginity I do I heard I love that both times I pointed just there someone went Los your virginity my moment okay I really like though stago I’m going to go with stago what is that reaction oh we don’t talk about those in theaters okay they’re going to start off on a stag Doo

Or something to do with a stag do IE control for PS of time give a big round of applause to again all right Lads got the matching hats for the Stag do all right with the unjust Williams yeah oh it’s going to be absolutely epic mate can’t believe you’re getting

Married yeah getting married to a woman I love 1 minute later I love us so much I just can’t imagine what it would be like to live without us I just I just need us to be together forever every minute apart from the hurts my soul we

Can go home if you want I thought what you want this weekend in Amsterdam I do but I’m sorry it’s it’s a cover up she she’s leaving me I didn’t have the heart to tell you and spoil the Stag do I’m sorry lad this is [ __ ] [ __ ] I’m sorry

Lad the world’s largest stag do it was going to be a record 465 people listen like it doesn’t we don’t have to do the normal things if we want like free 1 hour later let’s Rob this B yeah freeze 10 minutes later that was a terrible idea listen we need to think of

Something else okay cuz this isn’t cutting it right now what what’s going to make you feel better freeze 20 minutes later no you don’t look like her it’s not I can do it I can do it I 10 minutes later it didn’t work it just made me feel weird thanks

For putting your clothes back on no worries [ __ ] look I think I’m just going to have to I’m going to have to I’m going to have to go out with her sister it’s the only logical thing to do freeze to the start of that chain of

Logic look I miss her and I know exactly how she looks and she has a twin and they’re very different personality wise they do look sort of the same so maybe I could trainer after years of practice to be more like her sister I’ve got to go

Out with that it’s the only logical explanation mate that makes total [ __ ] Sense free one day later thanks for get on this date with me uh Melissa don’t even know my name why did I agree to this Sor no I just I went to call you Tina yeah your sister’s name I know you went out for seven years we’ve met a lot

I know you just look so much like her yeah I know this is I felt sorry for you cuz I know she left you but like this is creepy freze five years later kind of worked out in the end didn’t it free to the next [ __ ] same we’re doing we’re doing the just

Unjust William boys what’s what’s this Michael well we told I thought he said this is what we doing year no that was a joke it was unjust Williams all the way oh I mean it’s your stag do this time so yeah freee 10 minutes later can’t move and S give a round the

Okay final game now of the first half can I get two players on stage this game is called freeze tag could I get an emotion any emotion please rage show me rage well uh can I get an object you might find in your bathroom someone said Okay a lamp a lamp in your

Bathroom and uh the way this works they’re going to start off using these physical positions at any moment one of the players on the sh side can shout freeze tag them out assume whatever position they were last in and start a whole new scene so give them a big round

Of applause to begin freet why did I decide to operate on my own lungs also why are your lungs pulsing like hearts please Gag Gary [Laughter] fre welcome to your new apartment in London this is all you get four please M I think the time has come wait the time has come Welcome To Nature watch with two erotic French presenters come on darling let’s carry you over the threshold that’s such a good angle of my

Ass right now please please Tony I’m not going to make it yeah you’re right fre this is a lesson if you don’t change your ways I’ll bury you in this grave for good I’m sorry I I’m sorry I didn’t remember your coffee order sir please now Johnson if the body was lying where

I was lying now and that doesn’t make any sense at all cuz cuz you’re lying there now suggesting that the body either was not lying there or is not dead you know what this means we’re terrible police officers it’s just beautiful out there isn’t it darling yes it is

Oh an ankle M’s quite hot as a Victorian that gives me the tempers listener I love the spread that you’ve made for us here thank you it’s got some twiglets great just take him off just take it off if KN I can just undo the shoelaces no Pleas my goodness the shoe fits you are Cinderella please and I am reborn into my final form where the [ __ ] is everyone free hello you looking up at the stars yeah that’s right Wy I’m just looking up the Stars thinking about how far away they are you know the light

Coming from those Stars those Stars could be long dead by now they could be 400 million years old those Stars Cletus I’m leaving you and this is the Basement lovely uh that is the end of the first half we’re now going to have a break for you to get some drinks the more you drink in the interval the funnier the second half will be but you guys have been absolutely fantastic in the first

Half we’ll see you in 10 15 minutes thank you very much yes oh God we uh we had nose beforehand but as soon as we got the first big laugh felt much better I actually forgot but we had costumes and props that was a nice surprise what

A thrill such a big crowd got these bright lights in front of you you can hardly see them but any time you do go like that there’re all little smiling faces like there’s noisy there’s noisy people at the front row as well they’re

So so up for it mad it was great it was so good I’m so I but as you saw before I was I was very nervous but now that I was on when it was on stage and you get the laughs and you’re like oh okay this

Can work okay it’s going to be fine and then it was great I was honestly I’m so happy with that half I it was a really strong half when you have 500 people who have all booked to come and see like when we we’ve done these shows for years

They were coming to the club and they’re here to see us and we are so grateful and so thankful for it and we couldn’t have done it without the people who have been supporting us the people who have sort of been watching the videos people who come to the shows people who shared

The content with other people and this is the biggest show of the year and I couldn’t be happy did you get a drink from the bar give me a cheer are you ready for the second half give me a cheer all right for this second half we’re

Going to kick things off with a game called blind line I need two players to the stage the way this works is they start a scene and whenever they feel like it they take a line of dialogue from this hat they read it out loud and

It forms part of the scene uh but I need please a setting for this scene can I have um oh a location with a lot of history from the Top the top from the top a location St Stonehenge I like it any advance on Stonehenge from the middle pyramids the pyramids oh even older I like it any from the bottom what was that one what was that one the Titanic Oh I like the Titanic CU it made me fall

Into Tom’s arms uh this scene is set in the Titanic a round of applause for the Titanic [Applause] scene ma’am ma’am it it’s late I’m going to have to ask you to step into your cabin if you wouldn’t mind oh but wow when it looks so lovely at this town the sea the

Sea the sea you know it makes me think don’t be sad don’t be sad Captain were you sad before Madame Jezebel there’s no reason to be sad on a good ship Titanic on her maiden voyage we will see many spendid things and everything will go great but most importantly that’s it

Dishonor dishonor on your whole family dishonor you dishonor on your cow what do you mean dishonor on my family well what did my family do yes we’re a rich family yes we funded the building of the boat I I I I know you did Miss Jezebel but listen you shouldn’t be here I

Shouldn’t be here neither should you see the destination of you meant definition you idiot but the destination of insanity is doing the same thing over and over it’s true it’s the destination and we’ve been haunting this wreck for 200 years maybe that’s right Jezebel we died when the

Ship sank you and I and ever since then I’ve realized I am your father you are my father it’s true you can do anything not what the [ __ ] not Sly don’t try it I don’t know what I’m talking about if I’m Hest jeel that’s because your spirit has decayed

It’s time for you to move on to the next life Jezebel all you have to do is do you ever feel like a plastic bag but I do I do is this ghost I feel like a ghostly plastic bag going around the people coming down analyzing us analyzing James Cameron you know what

James Cameron said to me the other day what did James say he said it’s levosa not levosa and I thought James no stop it James Jezebel daughter of mine take me to bed or leave me forever for I shall lie down in the bed

And pass on to the next life and I think you should do the same it’s time for us to leave this world and it’s crazy look at all those chickens come father let me lay you down Lay Me Down daughter I’ll lay you for one last time lay me non sexually lay me

Down there you go and now I’ll say the ghostly prayer to you on to the next SL send me on daughter send me never eat yellow snow never un okay guys the time has come in the first half and just then we did lots of little games and scenes but now the main

Event we are going to tell you an epic improvised tale it’s going to have hopefully it’s going to hopefully have a beginning a middle and a brilliantly tied up end now what I need from you guys is the title of this epic tale what is that title going to be stalker

Stalker something from the back was that beetroots and murder beetroots and murder beetroots and murder I don’t know what the hell is about to happen but here we go ladies and gentlemen we present to you beetroots and murder [Applause] I’ve been in here a long time I can’t take back what he

Did got too competitive in the beach Ro growing Competition you’re the only one I talk to officer Jenkins the only one who comes to visit anymore ow [ __ ] is this really necessary oh I think it is for a crime of your caliber you know they still can’t grow beetroots on that Pat land I know I know my actions were severe but

Sea sea all right I burned down half of Somerset I was a young man I had people influencing me I had I had dreams and hopes and aspirations and they got dashed in a single day and I snapped you didn’t just burn down half of Somerset you burn down the good

Off well you know we can never take it back I’ll spend the rest of my life in this presence but if I could go back and visit that young naive 18yearold farmer I would I tell him there’s more to laugh than beetro what are you talking about more to life than beatroot it’s

Not worth murdering for you call yourself a true Somerset Country Bumpkin like me with my deep rich Somerset accent no no son so it sounds like you’re condoning what I did then no I’m not condoning what you did I’m saying there isn’t more to there is more to

Life what I’m saying is Somerset the economy used to depend on beetroot but you burned down all the arable land yeah that’s right the arable land and now we can’t grow beacho anymore big words and now what are we supposed to do what are we supposed to do for money in this town

Ehy why do you think I can’t afford real prison bars and I have to keep you locked in here with this archaic device I guess will never be forgiven not by me not by myself I don’t care about that who the [ __ ] is this he can’t see

Me oh my God it’s finally happened I’ve gotone mad in here who oh am the spirit of Summer that oh Spirit I’m so sorry for what I did to your arable land sorry you should be all the voices but you said you said if you could go

Back go back and see the 18yearold farmer you were you you do it different like I’m his friend I would I would do a different like it’s a lonely a lonely job I would change my ways I would you would you change your ways do you still have time to change time to

Change to change time to change time to change time to [Laughter] Change be back oh summer sa mom is that you oh my God I’m young again I’m 18 good morning son good morning Mom you’re still alive of course I’m still alive let me go down the spiral staircase I’m so sorry I’m so I’m sorry for everything I what you what have you

Done now have you stolen Mr Pig and Grove’s milk again no mom I’ve not done that since I was a boy son son Dad Dad I’m so sorry why are you sorry it’s so good to see you without the burs without the burns oh Marvin good morning my darling my darling I’m just

Uh just doing the you’re just Irish that’s what you are that’s what I am just doing the morning in run making sure that Town’s are good and happy you know good and happy remember they can’t see me remember you can still make the same mistakes again what will you do all

Right the beach TR competition’s coming up to tomorrow that’s when it all goes wrong my beatroots there’s oh beatroots competition’s coming up tomorrow oh a great competition if they could see me they’d be being very rude by talking over me remember you wouldn’t steal a bike you wouldn’t hire a

VHS so don’t kill someone who isn’t beet Troth you know you know when I was a young boy I I won the Beet Troth competition that’s where oh we met each other he had the biggest beat route in all of Summer huge swinging enormous and the end was a different color

Yes hey son yeah you should join the you could peel the skin back St the B the beetro mom and dad no I God this is exactly what happened before I I’ve I’ve actually secretly been growing beetroots in my room they’re the biggest anyone’s ever seen I

You’re joking fantastic so I’m going to enter I’m going to win I’m going to make you proud Dad yes you are if I lose I go [ __ ] mental well listen I’ve got to go back to keeping the peace on these streets and make sure everyone’s happy and safe

Okay but I’ll see you later I love you I love you too Marvin oh spirit this is too painful out how do I stop making this day mistakes again if it’s too painful choose a different part remember rage rage does terrible things there it is my beat you you call that a beat

Ro down wait Justin Willoughby he’s the one who that’s right I’m in your house he’s the one who saboted me I recognize his voice from outside no I am in your house Justin what how how do you get in my room you you’re the one who car yeah call those

Beatroots the little saxs of [ __ ] they are already yeah little s of [ __ ] yeah yeah this is my kind of fascist friend with the bullies he he keeps bees sometimes yeah these were those bullies they they’re the ones who sabotaged my beachers me I couldn’t enter the

Competition what are you saying were you saying they they sabar you cuz we did that’s right I just checked it well I put acid inside him so good luck winning the competition now big dick that’s not an insult little dick big dick don’t call

Him big dick you got a big dick no stop it wo that’s a good thing yeah no [ __ ] you with your big you haven’t even SE it why are you two like this you’re playing an innocent boy down a p come on these people deserve to die

Dick surely it was right for me to burn down har for suet to get rid of these two PR we see you in a competition loser big dick big dick I’ll think the door is this way it’s popping in again all happening not sure I remember this

Back I remember why I did got angry and I I went to try and sabotage their breach TRS in return and I started the fire and it got out of control and I just wanted them all G good morning sir wait a minute it’s coming back to me

What a modifying day it is to be selling a whole truckload of gasoline how do these guys keep getting into my bedroom how’ you get in here why my mom like I have a ladder and I put it up against that window so I did didn’t you hear me humming along I

Went I heard you humming along whole tank of gasoline this is I don’t I don’t I don’t want your gasoline this time are you sure I don’t want it I cuz I’m selling it for a very low price and you could make a big load of money on it if

You sell it for more are you Satan could be good no I’m not good I can’t make the mistakes of the past the spirit of Somerset has sent me back so I can change things make things better again mistakes of the past what time do you think you’re in mat stick salesman mat

Stick salesman no that she the surrounded surrounded by Temptation what if I just made the fire smaller instead of using all the gasoline just burn samples just burn down there beach roots not use all the gasoline and burn down har for Somerset that might work it’s justce but not out of control bless

You who the [ __ ] else is in my room I don’t know I don’t know where I left the keys to my truck I hope it wasn’t unlocked with all that valuable and plentiful gasoline lying in the back right I just just take a little bit of gasoline try the truck there take a

Little bit out burn down there be and then we’re both not in the competition he doesn’t rub it in my face I don’t burn down for Sumer all right back down the stairs ha welcome to Su a bito competition uh at 1950 wherever okay everybody get your

Bots Roots beat roots let’s go okay oh ladies and gentlemen today the greatest competition of the B Ro you’ve ever seen we have oh a new competitor are you signing up oh no I’m not signing up I’ve just got to deliver this um fertilizer cool all

Right you must be Andre betr yes I’m Andre betro Andre bid Ro big competition coming up you were my hero as a child hey everybody watches my TV show where I grow the beetroots in real time I know it’s really Forward Thinking for the 1950s Mr Andre be true you’re my

Hero ah I don’t like you okay oh holy [ __ ] ladies and gentlemen into the room we have the man himself a five-time bitro Competition winner here what’s your name again Justin they call me Justin Justin trouble oh boo oh that was so cool try did you see what he did that Justin TR

In the 50s that was impressive this is fantastic okay it’s going to be sorry I’m just doing a little warm up it’s going to be a great show it’s going to be a great competition uh but are you ready you’re going to smash the competition we’re

Going to smash it you know I love beetroots and I’m the best at beetroots and you know there’s nothing in this world afraid of apart from fire obviously cuz he isn’t afraid fire obviously I’ve got a fear of fire cuz you know my parents died in that fire a

Few you know in the 40s and you know so that’s really traumatized me and caused me to act out but apart from that nice good all right the competition will be starting in tus 1 minute tus 1 minute I didn’t hear that tragic backstory before I just drove the truck directly

Into the festival and expl this but now I understand why Justin is so mean it’s cuz he’s he’s hurt I’m not going to burn this beetro of his o your dick is Big just oh it looks even bigger now I know why you’re like this I heard about your parents in the fire whoa whoa don’t you don’t you even bring that up how dare you how dare you how dare you well you I I can bring it up wait I

Understand why you destroyed my beach right and this is the only thing that you you’ve got in your life and I was going to burn your Beach trots down I was actually burn everything down but I realize you’re not a bad man you’re just a man who’s had bad things happen to you

And I should know about that no don’t you chicken out all right you chicken out I’m 45 I don’t care how old you are you chicken out now I win and you go down I’ll go down an innocent man his voice is really old I don’t like

It what are you what are you saying man what are you saying I’m saying there’s more to life than beetroots the prison Warden was right I’m not going to become a murderer over a [ __ ] vegetable well then I guess I win there I I win got everything I ever wanted I’m

A winner you don’t have any parents I know I know my my greatest fear a sick bird but I just realized today I’ve got two wonderful ones at home and they loved me and I let them down I thought you were taking memoral Hy because I

Burned down hard for Somerset oh oh [ __ ] this God you know this show gets too much just light my cigarette no the Gasoline where am I now spirit I couldn’t oh I’m back in prison did you change did you change young one I must have changed something cuz it was only a small fire this time but the big thing didn’t go off so it’s half of Somerset still okay I didn’t ask if you changed

Somerset I asked if you changed obviously not I’m still here I’m still locked up sometimes what happens to us isn’t isn’t due to what we’ve done all we can control is the man inside I’m becoming the spirit of irand and let go spirit thank you for giving me a chance

To not make things perfect at least make them a little better maybe they are maybe they are maybe they are this is my friend and his friend friend guess no visitors again today you’re not quite right on that front what do you mean the detectives Department got in touch new evidence has

Come to life to life to light sorry it’s so shocking I losing the power of speech either works apparently it was that Andre beetro Who lit the fire it was an accident he did it with his cigarette I know we called him on CCTV we thought it was all burnt but it

Wasn’t in the in the 50s hey before it burned down Somerset was a hot bed of scientific ret there not so someone say it’s not all half burned down now cuz it was just a small fire the big I didn’t set the big truck off no that’s right only a

Small part of it burnt down the science Hub so we and it wasn’t your fault it was my I was the one who put the gasoline on those Beach TRS it wouldn’t have lit up if it wasn’t for me but I realized I shouldn’t burn it down and

Then I didn’t use the whole truck I just us a little bit but look I think you’ve changed all right all right Big Deck Justin listen um after you uh you know Saved My Life by shielding me from Far years ago we tried well listen I I I’ve come

To give you a lift home if you you know if you want cuz you know new evidence and stuff and you know I I figured maybe I was maybe I acted out a little bit and he he agrees as well he lost his tongue in the fire obviously

But you mean I I me free I can go home really did lose that my mom my dad I’m not sure if I can come in right now andc thank [Applause] you coming to Netflix next summer uh guys it saddens me to say we’re coming towards the final game of the

Show have you enjoyed yourselves guys thank you so much for coming out and supporting Live Comedy we could not do this show without you it would be weird so uh for this final game I need AJ to please go backstage so he can’t hear us AJ is going to have to come back

And guess three things about himself AJ is incredibly late for work he is going to have to come back though and guess a few things he’s going to have to guess why he was late for work now I don’t want to real reason like he was Ill or

His alarm clock didn’t go off we need something like nuns broke into his house stole his skin and made a kite uh or he got into a fight with a kangaroo that was also his dad uh let’s start with over here just throw out some random stuff at me ninj rabbit Ninja Rabbits

Good strong start over here Kitt ask for charity what was that one kittens ask for charity kittens ask for charity Ninja Rabbits I’m saying he got late he was late because he was stopped by a charity mug working for a charity for Ninja Rabbits okay okay okay we’re going to be here

For a long night we got stopped by a chugger who was working for a charity for Ninja Rabbits that’s why he was late okay cool these guys are going to be M well Luke’s going to be miming out these Clues I really looking forward to seeing

A ninja rabbit and Tom might come in with a verbal clue if needed so that’s fantastic that’s our first one but then he did get away from the chugger and now he basically has he got to work on a weird way though from the middle section here can I get a philosophy

Can’t just can’t can’t you say karma can’t can’t oh emanu can’t oh that’s that’s a that’s a that’s a philosopher not a philosophy uhm what was that solipsism solipsism I don’t know what that means anymore [ __ ] [ __ ] it any more any more philosophies nism n nism nism NIS nism let them pronounce

Words how they want no uh can I get an object from the top that you might find in your kitchen what was that one cooker cooker he got to work on a nihilistic cooker great MIM nihilism it’s going to be great and finally what is his job it can

Be a really ridiculous job like uh he pushes all the corruption into politicians uh he makes all the was the Shaving one we’ve had dolphin shaver before weirdly it comes up a lot what was that one a battle a amputator we’re not ending the show like that what was that calligraphy

Calligraphy teacher does sound like a real job though yeah who who does he teach it to give me a a fictional a fictional character what was that Brian blessed Brian blessed fictional character fictional character he’s he’s more mythological than you know real so uh he’s the he’s a calligraphy teacher for

Brian blesses so let’s go through those three things again uh one why was he late for work he was late for work because of a charity mugger who raises money for Ninja Rabbits lovely uh how did he get to work he got to work on a nihilistic cooker lovely and what does

He do what he does is he teaches calligraphy to Brian blessed lovely so as I said Luke’s going to be miming Tom’s going to be coming in with some verbal Clues if AJ gets close to any of these can you give him sort of a pantomime

Oo very sounds so good in this room uh if he gets nowhere near give him a nah and if he gets it right big chair and can we get a massive Round of Applause get AJ back in the [Applause] room oh my God I can’t believe Brian’s light again it’s [ __ ] outrageous I

Mean it’s absolutely unacceptable I wouldn’t stand for it if I were you Boss I mean he’s on his last warning already I think I’m going to have to let him go oh no I know no I said oh no and I said I know oh speak of the devil

Hi s h I’m sorry boss that I’m late what time do you call this 11:45 what time do we start 11:44 that’s right 1 minute late for work and normally [ __ ] I’m a relaxed guy you know I’m chill with it but you’re on your last warning [ __ ] you

Better have a damn good excuse why you’re alate today even if it was just one minute listen I have the best excuse about why I was late today basically I was walking to work and then I I started to to to show people oh no don’t go this

Way go this way instead why would you do that well because I was showing people different ways you were showing someone someone was showing me pictures of what of um of people moving out of the way what kind of person oh very friendly nice person you really

Or or did it feel that way at first but it might have been slightly superficial I think oh they were like oh my gosh someone was really kind and showing me away somewhere and then they pulled out a gun and started robbing me oh okay I mean I’m not buying any of

This I mean you don’t look that traumatized you just a bit inconvenience yeah so what kind of person stopped you on the street okay the kind of person right that stopped me on the street oh guys guys I just had a weird experience outside oh [ __ ] um she this International icon and

Singer she she just came up to me and she she flashed me you know and I was really surprised and you know she’s she’s been a big like I for the gay community for years and I I thought but no just share she just came up to me and

She just flashed me I was like no share put away your tits but but I saw them I saw I saw shar’s titty I saw shar’s titty I saw shar’s titty oh mant [ __ ] that’s a horrible thing to see it was weird it was very weird you saw sh it’s a perfectly nice

Titty but it was a weird day you saw sh man I’m really sorry mate yeah I don’t have much more to say I think I’ve covered it I saw so what kind of what kind of what was what kind of person was this who like stopped you in the street

All right it was sush titty s a s titty someone who uh [ __ ] got nothing from that mate look I I don’t like to lose my temper and if you keep going on on this you see that chair yeah I’m going to hit you with it oh no I’m going to hit you

With that it’s going to be really HD with that chair chair HD Sher Cher [Applause] charity she’s titty so you sto by a uh I stopped by a charity a person who who rans the charity what what what kind of Charity what did they do oh they were selling guns guns they didn’t sound like a charity they were selling uh what kind

Of people were they trying to help oh they were trying to help people with their just their hands up who just had oh I’d love a twiglet thank you yeah they were just the charity yeah who were they helping the charity were helping yeah here we go let me get this

Right you remember charity were helping yeah I was doing the second part of the first pit that charity were helping little bunny rabbits oh do these uh rabbits have any sort of profession uh they’re ninjas oh fair enough M fair enough M I’m sorry can we put that he gets you don’t know

What like sh’s titty just carry on all right well I understand those people are everywhere and you know yeah you but you got here I mean uh God we are going to be here a long time how did you get to work today oh that was really really

Simple I got I promise you so simple I get here the way I always get to work I always get to work the way I get to work is by a car a car doesn’t or a train a train a sort of a mobile where you’re like

Where a very small type of compartment s i I’m so sorry to interrupt I realize you’re talking but I just wanted to uh to uh tell you that I have moved all of the pigs I’ve moved all of the pigs next to the hillock that outside so that we can

Slaughter them and make the delicious meat uh you know so they’re right they’re really near to the uh to the hill at the moment I I will go so far as say that they are n to the hill you know and you know I prefer not to think

Of them as pigs at all cuz it upsets me I think of them as ham so as an overall update I’m saying that nigh to the hill is is the ham got it thanks for informing me Hill listen the way I get to work yeah I have to go deep inside myself oh

Yeah because the way I get to work is with the nihilism mobile well you say mile but it’s not a car it’s a it’s I’ve seen you parking what kind of object is this nihilistic thing oh what kind of objects nistic thing um like a

Teapot it’s like a teapot or or a cup look mate oh [ __ ] you got to you got to put the gas on this conversation okay oh it’s that it’s nihilism uh but but it runs on Fus look or gas I’m really I’m going to turn the heat up on this situation and

Get mad again yeah I know I know that the gas heat gas oil where do you use those things in a car what OB oh sorry I’m getting hangry in coffee tea oh like a frying pan oh the stove what’s another word for that the oven what’s another word for that the

ARA it’s got real simple what do you do on it what’s the thing you do on those things no what do you do all those things what’s that activity you do cooking yes so what’s it also called uh cooking stove a cooking area a cooking stove

A oh no say that word again no there’s the first one so cook and then say that cook C get back here you said ARA before cooker all right right right and I’m glad you’re here I’m glad you’re here I’m really enjoyed the person you this going they’re so white

Right had a weird day yeah I just want to make sure cuz your your your client’s about to be here your only client what is your job and who do you do that job for what I do okay what I do is I’m a teacher you are a teacher first and

Foremost oh God what what what do you teach I teach what do you teach uh acting act happiness what do you teach uh what do I teach I teach writing oh what kind of what’s a God damn it creative writing God damn it what what is it this time just shares titties again

No it’s the greens it’s the greens that I meant to go with with a ham I’m very upset cuz listen a lot of it we just put it online like it’s all gone it’s all been on sale for zero you know the spinach the beetroot and the

Kale all of the kale is free and it makes me so mad but kale is Free thank you k k is what K is girl free so you teach you are you are a teacher you teach writing a fancy kind of writing think about what he said what kind of writing I teach girre put kale put that word at the beginning well kale before gy yeah kale gy

Calligraphy yes you do you teach calligraphy but you’re the you’re one of the best in the world and you teach to one very important person important person I teach the person who I teach this to is Willie Wonka no no no no the Milky Bar Key no no no no Ellen degeners No oh wait I’m I’m getting I’m getting a letter oh there’s a good bird oh very nice fly fly my Hawk man that’s a good Hawk [ __ ] n to nich to n all right what was that like a Harry Potter thing no don’t worry about it I don’t [ __ ]

Know don’t worry about it uh listen the person who I teach is a religious person no no they’re not I know that they’re not but some people think that they are not back to the [ __ ] teapot again cooker I got it already who do you no I mean they’re not religious but I

Understand because of their name yes their surname especially why you might think they’re religious yeah Jesus oh I’m feeling enough for emotion as you guys are well aware I do not enjoy cheeses and I tried to replace all of a kale in my D you know where this is

Going I tried to replace all the kale in my diet with a variety of cheeses and he made me quite sick and I tried cheda and Ile and then I have then I have the Bree I tried to have the Bree Bri and shut up halfway tried to have a BRI

And sad that’s how I’m feeling the Bri made you sad I tried to have the Brie and sad well I’ll I I’ll I’ll pray for you brother I’ll pray for you this is all I’ve got so good luck Bri made him sad sad the Bri made him sad Bri made him sad

Brad Brad although to be honest I would listen to every syllable I’d said rather than cutting some out there by ruining the word play free and sad can I can I tell you a story back yeah my little boy he was he was trying to dress himself for school this morning my little

Netty or as his father insists on calling him Ed oh and he just couldn’t do it he got them all tied up together oh just just bless Edan [ __ ] bless it guys thank you so much uh for coming out and and see no basically we have to

Be off this stage in quarter of an hour otherwise we going to owe people a lot of money um we only rented it for so long uh Luke anything yes I we just want to say a big big thank you to uh all the camera people who are filming tonight

And doing behind the scenes [Applause] stuff uh J G thank you very much and everyone V thank you let’s get drun [Applause] uh what do I think I thought it was I thought it was really strong I thought it was a really good show and I’m really happy I was super nervous before uh but I’m I’m really happy I feel like everyone we all did a good job of it and

Everything was good like normally sometimes like oh that b was a little bit bad but I thought all of it was was good yeah all it’s good to great and it was band which was lovely I love that we all had really like shiny moments like

All done beautifully there um I love the guessing game as well that was we always let AJ guess because he has the most trouble with it and that’s a joy people always like oh no is it stress me if you can’t guess no no we love It Wooo