The power of looking at the actual facts (circumstances), and not what you want to see or believe The power of turning on the light: five weeks after starting her co-working office space in Heidelberg, Germany the pandemic hit and everything closed down. What did Lone do? Lone’s brave role model shows how one person’s choices can influence generations RESOURCES: Lone Aggersbjerg https://tink-tank.de/ https://www.instagram.com/tinktankspace/ https://twitter.com/TinkTankSpace https://www.linkedin.com/company/tink-tank-space/ RELATED EPISODES: Jess Tilles – The power of the interest interview for women in tech Nicole Tschierske – Women in Stem Reimagined Jenn Whitmer – Conflict and Enneagram For more information on how you can build your brave: Nicole@tricksteinbach.com https://tricksteinbach.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoletricksteinbach/ https://www.facebook.com/NicoleTrickSteinbach Discover how you live your BRAVE today and how you can build your BRAVE for tomorrow. Do the QUIZ!
Build Your Brave Career with Nicole Trick Steinbach
Episode 38, Season 2
October 21, 2021
★ Episode details: https://share.transistor.fm/s/5d0b642e
★ Additional episodes: https://www.tricksteinbach.com/
Welcome to the celebrate Brave podcast I’m Nicole trick Steinbach your host and the international bravery coach for women in Tech I serve women all over the world to earn more money create more opportunities and thrive in the tech industry because Tech needs all of us are you ready let’s go hello Brave
People this week I talking to a fellow entrepreneur in the tech space and I am super jazzed Lona and I have known each other for 13 or 14 years and you can really hear it in the warmth of our conversation Lona is a former executive and she is originally from Denmark her
Family is super global and she now lives in Germany which is where we got to know each other Lona shares a lot about her journey and her startup co-working space in gorgeous heidleberg Germany the biggest takeaways for me from this conversation that you are just going to love is the beauty of following
Our brave calling how how we choose to show up and in Lona oh my gosh she’s going to share in this conversation but in lona’s case it literally meant turning on the lights every day during the really extraordinary lockdowns that took place in Germany and last and never least and
I have carried this inspiration forward since Lona and I spoke in June of 2021 and this is being published in the fall of 2021 the generational power of how we show up for our children for our nieces and nephews and for everyone who follows in our footsteps there is so much
Warmth and connection and inspiration ation for living a life you love in this conversation so let’s dive into that conversation right now super excited to share Lona with you today her brave story her brave role model now we’ve known each other for a really long time oh my God and I know
Right so our babies are like mine is turning 10 I know mine 13 it’s been too long it’s very grateful for the babies now are you already shorter than one of yours if I’m what shorter uh no we’re getting in eye contact now she is it’s probably a matter of a few months
Then she’s yeah then she’s looking down on me but I normally put high heels on like 247 just to outnumber her yeah my my almost 10-year-old he’s at my shoulder he’s properly at my shoulder now when they’re like this isn’t fair one of the things I say is
You know my job is to raise a well adjust or adjusted polite member of society that who’s an adult right like that’s my that’s my job to help create a world that’s good enough for you but also make sure that you are good enough for the world and the other day he looks
At me and he goes and then you tell me to stop growing I’m like well I know where you got that tongue from it’s for me I know well that’s a sentence I say a lot as well especially to my son right it’s it’s a cute age and they still find us
Like the most beautiful perfect woman in the world so I guess we’re counting the weeks until that will change but anyway it’ll never change because I’ll always believe it there you go all right all right so you have had such an incredible life I know a good
Bit about you and your studies where you started your career moves some pretty darn Dynamic career moves some that were gifted to you and some you shows your amazing husband in your International world I’m so excited to discover which of your Brave stories you’re choosing to share I thinking about this so without
Further Ado yeah let us know I will well thank you I was well Nicole you came and visited me last week yes as always you leave this energy in the room which kind of had the the waves still going on in the room after you left but I was really appreciated that
You took the time to stop by I know we have been keeping contact for such a long time even as as you went abroad and I still stick around in heidleberg and then obviously I started thinking about kind of my braveway story and it’s it’s difficult to put up I guess a
Finger on which one means the most uh but something triggered out at our I I think our conversation we’ve both been in in great companies one of the companies we were in the same one but I guess my my story is is I guess about being brave enough to to face
Facts like many many years in these great companies obviously you get a lot of opportunities you build all these skills and a great career and very S I guess because you have so much going on on the same thing and the same time you s have the time to just stop and think
About wait am I am I still doing what it is that I want to do and it does this feel right because you’re just in this I don’t know is it treadmill of English on English yeah so you just right you’re just trying hamster will hamster will you’re just trying to survive almost
Through throughout weeks and months but I had constantly this feeling of I guess being exhausted or like numb right nothing you didn’t get excited about anything even in the private life you didn’t get excited about the small things so I remember I came in my last job I had this amazing program super
Team we would delivered great results and I came out feeling this numb feeling not really being excited about it but I guess right I need to move on to next program and I went into my boss and he’s like no there is no programs just sit
Put for in the next months some kind of reorganization was going on and I just and I just had this crash almost in this void of nothing right asking myself is is this what you want to do so I guess that triggered and I left to build my
Own company after almost 23 years in corporates and 15 years in my last job I just turned my back to it and say it’s it’s time to do what I think I always knew I’m good at MH but doing something on my own and really trying to build
With my own hands something I feel is purposeful and something I feel passionate about and I know I told you about this there was this convention where I was invited in to talk and just before I went on stage I had this oh my God it’s the first time in 23 years that
I’m here just as me and not hiding between some company logo where doesn’t matter how much you tell you can always well I’m just an employee under that company and I was standing on the stage and for the first time in my life ever I felt I was I saw my name on
There and I saw my company name just below my name and I I almost my pants I was like oh my God I can’t blame anyone else than what what I’m saying now so say the right thing say the right things right you are you now and oh my
God what a what a feeling so yeah taking I think that bravery step to sometimes reflect are you doing the right things but also be brave enough to break out and say anything or nothing but I can’t just stay in this numb exhausting empty void right right
Totally and I think you probably talked to a trillion people who feel the same yeah yeah yeah it’s interesting right because I loved how you started and it it instantly took me back we were in one of the cafeterias at the company and I was going on and on about some
Sort of transformational thing and I didn’t know what to do and and there were like four or maybe even six of us sitting there all women from all over the world uh now living in Germany and you kind of like I just remember that your curled hair came forward and you
Were like Nicole look at the facts look at the facts Nicole and I was like oh oh okay and then I went back and I looked at the facts and I was like I don’t want to look at the facts this is under budgeted underresourced it’s been tried
Time and time again but the same people refus to make their leadership Behavior change but that stayed with me and then years later that like look at the facts just look at the facts just put them onto paper and then take your action right years later I learned about
Something called the model it just helps you or organize your thoughts and to look at the facts and the first part of it is circumstance and I now use this a lot for my own life for my kids my clients whatever and you’re hyper specific in the circumstance which is the first line
And what’s so interesting is when people look at the facts sometimes they realize I’m exhausted but not because of the facts and this was my reality I got paid way more than double six figures I had amazing benefits huge reputation Amazing Friends at the company I got to
Travel all over the world I had full flexibility like the facts were amazing but then you go into the model with your thoughts and your feelings and I was so unhappy it wasn’t because of the situation was because of how I felt and that was enough for me to move exactly right
And I think that that’s what’s so powerful with your story is like look at the facts and then you said but I also felt exhausted because let’s be real I mean how many times right now I’m in a place where if someone was like Hey girl six weeks everything will be fine and
Then the project I’d be like okay right but you’re in this huge luxurious situation and it’s that’s not the right thing it’s time to move but it’s a process right right I mean if I think back on the decision to leave and build is probably a process which had taken
Place over many years unconsciously I didn’t know that I had already been leaving for many years because that I think the facts yes as you say many are fortunate enough to be in very great comfort zones and I got this question a trillion times as I left because I open
My company and five weeks later the Corona lockdown came and I was like oh and let’s let’s be really specific so let’s be really specific so Lona has built which I I really wantan to I want to come back to like how you chose this business model because for me I was like
Yeah totally that’s her magic but anyways she built a in-person co-working space in the center of hi highle bag Germany and then five weeks later for an in-person co-working space in Germany which was super strict everything got shut down every been the most expensive office I’ve probably ever had for
Myself I was sitting here all alone in my 400 square meter uh great beautiful equipped co-working space with everything you need but well I mean you have to enjoy that and I learned very much in that time a lot about resilience but I also learned a lot about what I call the
Circle of power I could blame the politics the virus the world some guy somewhere who ate some animal and that was the reason why the virus came I could have blamed the whole world but I can’t influence that and again back to the facts right I try to
Concentrate on what is Within Reach what can I do to stay safe p and just touch those things which you actually have an influence and and forget everything else right because it just makes you miserable it just makes you negative it just puts you down but the things you
Have in reach which you can do and and interest that builds you up because you have the right so I’m doing something and I guess that was what saved myself was I went on my bike every day I rode with my bike to my co-working space I
Put on the lights I put on the coffee machine I sat here until evening and then I closed everything down and went home and I did that every day and that was my sanity check and then right even though we weren’t supposed to meet the first dayar came right the first
Co-workers came the first company closed their the membership and then uhuh humanity and what we need the contact with others one over even even a lockdown and I guess that that what I took out of as a learning of that as well yeah and when I asked you when we were in
Person together first of all I’ve been to so many co-working spaces and you know me like I I say my feedback yes you created the co-working space that is focused on the experience of the individual and it’s a specific type of individual someone who sees their success by lifting up other people and
You can tell in where the coffee is located and how the toilets are set up you can tell and how the rooms are designed there is a concept of we are lifting each other together and we are all going to succeed because we’re all and this was the part of our
Conversation I’m GNA tear up again I can feel it when you shared with me yeah five weeks in everything got shut down my shock question was oh my God what’ you do and your answer was I turned on on the lights every day yes literally literally yeah and how many of
Us for me there’s just so much bravery in this entire Arc which I think is why you mentioned you were having a hard time putting your thumb like on the most important one but I think that’s why because having this incredible Comfort lucrative career which gave so many opportunities choosing to have a
Different experience choosing to follow quite frankly your magic girl I saw your house before you renovated and after you renovated I saw it I Knew and then facing this crazy situation and saying nah I’m gonna turn on the lights exactly and the trillion ways or times where you were asked well if you had known would you have stayed in where you were and I don’t even had to consider a millisecond no I wouldn’t
Have stayed it wouldn’t have changed anything I might have decorated it differently in order to right be able to create more safe places for those one person who really wanted to to kind of build a plexiglass uh kind of surrounding around then I didn’t know that but no I wouldn’t have
Stayed and I would still have done what I did and I think that just told me it was right always true trust what it is when you get the time to reflect always trust what it is that your your mind and your body and your stomach feeling is
Telling you because it’s it’s always right yeah yes and it inspires other people yeah yeah it’s been a process and a learning curve which right I wouldn’t have been right that’s a gift if you can say something good came out of the the pandemic I guess for me personally that
Learning curve where you get to see sides of yourself which you would probably never have experienced in a comfort zone job because you never get to the limits you never get to the edges but in situation like that you you get to the edge and then it’s a decision am
I still a good polite person even if I’m stressful and I don’t know how to pay my bills can I still be a nice person towards other people and I think that’s a choice we all have absolutely oh my gosh I a million perc agree a million
Per agree and in this process of so I’m coming into my two years so I’m 1 year and 11 months today isn’t that crazy it’s almost two years there have been times where I was like okay this client is pulling me into a series of behaviors
I said so you know I I’ve shared on my podcasts before and I think we knew each other no I think it was after we met each other but I worked for a gentle who was hyper aggressive I copied him and I got a double digit pay increase in a
Promotion so I thought that’s how people were successful well he then leaves the company and I am completely exposed because aggressiveness is not how you’re successful come on y’all and thankfully the company sent me to coaching instead of just firing me because I’m pretty sure my behavior deserved [Laughter]
It and I just heard somebody that was in that situation with me just like burst into laughter because yeah oh yeah you know and and so when there were times when I was working with a client in my own business where I noticed this person is pulling towards aggression I now I
Need to be brave and have this conversation and I’ve actually fired clients because they were not ready to experience an assertive consultant who was kind and collaborative and Global and does has zero zero hesitation in facing racism like zero in the United States this is a huge issue well inside the United States
But also outside the United States and calling people rest of world no baby uhuh they’re Belgium humans they have expertise or South African or whatever right I have no issue talking about that so I have fired people and then I’ve been like I have bills to pay oh sh [Laughter]
but I mean even at co-working space as you see it right we are open to everyone and I think my belief is if you do co-working well it’s a yes it’s a safe place where you can be diverse where you can be your authentic you and
We have like people on all levels all Industries all kind of backgrounds all kind of looks and colors and right whatever you need but be able to to find that polite like room where everybody has a sense of I’m safe here and I don’t
Need to like put a mask on and and say something because I think he or she would like that that is maybe the the takeaway I took for many years in in especially I think in corporates probably also in in Middle sizes but you do to take a mask on and you are
Pretending sometimes pretending to be something which you think other person is is kind of expecting from you and that I just right that that doesn’t have a room in a in a space like mine here you can’t you can’t play a mask it’s just not yeah right nobody is why would
You right we don’t give give a right what you need to play for us we really are interested in who you are as a person because then the connection the real true connection happens and for me safe spaces are where we’re holding up the patriarchy we’re holding up the
White supremacy we’re holding up this concept of what is Right whereas Brave spaces like what you’ve created are where we are holding space for all people and not permitting hurtful behaviors harmful behaviors yes to create a safe space for bad behavior do you know what I mean so and that and you
Can feel in your space it’s designed for people who are lifting each other up through their own success which becomes shared success right just yeah so thank you for being brave and stepping into that well thank you and thank you for stopping by last I’m hoping that I get
There again in August yes to C you back okay so speaking of lifting up other people who is the brave role model that you want to share with us oh my god um um yeah I have many brave persons in my life but I think the bravest is my
Mom a I know your mom and she is such a wonderful energy and she insists on people having more cake so I’m a fan like full fan yeah that’s true that’s true yeah full fan yeah I think my mom and dad were I guess what you can call entrepreneurs as
Well they had a they had a shoe shop and I grew up in a family where like vacation was very rare and when we went on vacation we were talking about the shop all the time and I have to like often think back to oh my God am I doing
The same to my kids am I just repeating but my mom was this stable or right as kids was the stable size always kind of right making sure the platform which we were growing on kind of had what we needed to do and my dad was this
Very extrovert Loved A lot of people talk you you were never you always knew when he was in the room and I guess she was right getting maybe a little bit in the shadow of him because she’s she’s not a extrovert person more an introvert
So she was kind of stepping the bed so in 1979 my my dad died of lung cancer and what I experienced with my mom was that from that time she had to almost learn to to stand on her own kind of right two feet and not in the shadow of
Somebody who would just do it for her and we sold while after he died we sold the shop she sold our childhood house she moved away and she literally started all over New Friends new home New City new thing to do whole new life I can’t remember what it’s called in English but
These there is this these toys where you you you you hit it and then yeah Jack in a box yeah yeah yeah yes yeah you hit it and they just flip up again and and that’s my mom you flip it her down and she just I’m up here again oh do you
Mean those wobble things like a little oh yeah they’re round yeah they’re round and you flip it they’re so fun for toddlers stand up persons I don’t know stand up things I think there is so much I’m really trying not to cry because it’s my
But um my my mom is is when you would look up in my world then the word brave that would that would be my mom that would be a picture of her because she constantly kind of shows even when kind of what she’s always said his death was
Like cutting off her right arm right she was literally handicapped after that she felt handicapped but since then she’s just been building her own life as she’s living it today and she’s right doing I don’t know yoga and Gymnastic and have people in her life I’ve never met
And right travels down to visitors and she’s still like going strong and I right I would I would hope that I would be like this when I get old so if something like that or God forbid it would happen yeah oh my gosh as you’re telling that story like my heart
Is just really very very warm and it also reminds me you guys had purchased and completely renovated a home in a little village and one does that and then stays in Germany that’s the culture and it wasn’t working for your family anymore and you guys made a bold move
And it was bold it was like well from the outside it was like boom boom and moving forward yeah and now I get that you had an incredible role model who built a life that served her and her children and therefore the world and then I mean she worked full-time don’t forget
That right we always forget that often but I know where I I’ve worked always fulltime even as my kids came because that’s for me a a very normal and reflecting back on that all right she’s been amazing role mod we never missed anything right we knew that even if she
Was working her butt off which she probably did all the time we never missed out on anything right we were always driven somewhere we always had what we needed and we were always laughed and I think that is right in that discussion and Nicole you know that
Even in in Germany is often a discussion between Career or family and I’ve never understood that as a Dane right I’ve never understood that why are we discussing choices but probably I have a lot to thank my mom for to to show that it’s it’s possible and you don’t have to
Miss out on anything absolutely yeah I mean there were two themes that led us to leaving Germany I had no intention of ever leaving Germany and then I became a mom who is also an incredibly ambitious person and is dangerous when I’m bored when Pete Robert said that to me
He’s like no no no no no you’re dangerous when you’re bored it was like my whole soul lit up I was like yes that’s exactly what I am and tried many many different Avenues and it was that this cultural construct this mental construct but then also how
Schools are set up Etc it just got to the point with another theme in our life around you know services and mental health and things like that where we made the incredibly painful it was truly painful it was so painful to leave Germany yeah and we moved there in 2016
Which for a foreign family super fun that was real fun great timing talk about resiliency right but yeah that topic of like the expectation of what’s a possibility for them and to do it well to do it all with heart and with soul and well is something that now I look at
Other people doing things and I just think okay that isn’t necessarily what I want to be doing with my time right now or with my skills but I know I was undervalued and so I’m not going to do that to you I’m going to say if that is
What your soul is calling you to words your intuition the facts then yeah let’s let’s figure out how to do this because you can because you can you have that dream because you can and then you’ll figure it out you know there’s a saying that someone gave
Me recently which is no amount of failure will stop me from figuring this out I mean your story is just the embodiment of that and when we live in that kind of mindset it’s true but you speaking me directly into my heart around failure is oh my God we
Need so much failure more failure culture and attitude in the whole world not not being afraid of of taking these steps and I think look at our kids they’re looking at us yeah right looking at Mom and Dad and who else and if we are just these perfect trying to be
These perfect errorless persons we’re not doing them right it’s right they need to learn that it’s fine and I think even in the process around right the difficult time with the Corona virus coming in and building the I’ve sat down at dinner tables and criet in the
Evening and say Jesus I’m right am I strong enough to do this right and my kids is just like oh my God thank you for yeah right I can I can comfort you and it’s fine and we will get through this and I had these small personal coaches at home
Yeah and that is so important that life is not just this perfect place it it has ups and downs and it it it’s just so important that we that we don’t cover it up as we’re racing horrible persons yeah yeah yes yes watching my mom because my
Mom was also a single mom and there was this one time where she got really ill she got sent to the hospital and she had built this incredible sales practice up and the people people stole it from her and while she was in the hospital and
You know in the US that we’re talking like maybe two weeks she was gone and they divvied up the practice that she had built in comparison to other places in our life were was very profitable and she shared that story with me openly about why she now had to
Make these hard decisions and why we were going to live in this place and at the time people were like oh you can’t tell your daughter that you can’t you know and there were times when it probably would have been best that I didn’t know all the details let’s be
Real but at the same time that story does give me strength to follow and to take the risk and to know that I can figure it out but building something up so that it can be stolen I’m not going to continue to work there as an example ex and so I
Do share things with my kids as well when things aren’t going well or I you know I can’t go to that thing because now I have a pitch opportunity and I’m going to be pitching or I’m going to choose to go to your thing and miss this pitch opportunity because you are so
Important to me that kind of thing but as the grown-up whose mom did share that kind of stuff with me it does matter it does matter it does matter it does generational love I love oh my [Laughter] God we still don’t want to live with them right no no
No I think it’s it’s this concept of like it takes a village to raise the children is so true and I just like to remind people that Villages have multiple houses in them I’m all in for that gratitude and boundaries yes yes boundaries is important important topic build your
Boundaries L I am so grateful for you sharing that story and the arc because you are still in the ark I really hope that there’s a continued growth of your presence because what you’re offering specifically in the heidleberg area is so unique and having been in various places and various co-working spaces
Creating that environment is is truly a gift and it does change people experiences their mindsets so I’m really I’m going to say something very very cooky ready I’m very proud of you very proud of you a thank you oh that’s me so much coming from someone like thank you for
Kicking me in the butt a few times throughout my career oh my god when I got real negative Lona was like no moving on butt kick h uh okay so how can people learn more about Tink Tink how can they think learn about you how can they follow you
Yeah I’m like literally on all social media right I have had to learn that as well so yes I’m on LinkedIn my company is on LinkedIn my company is on Facebook Instagram Twitter yeah and obviously websites and everything so stop by everybody’s welcome to stop by any time
No need to book anything the drumers are still working on on right trying to figure out how that is not book something in advance and just stop by but um we will get the ger there as well yes we will all right yeah and definitely follow there’s been some
Really cool activity around digital the digital world the digital economy that was very valuable so even if you’re not in Germany and you’re not going to pop by this year put it on your list of things to do but also follow online and and you’re already going to get
Benefit well thank you so much you’re welcome thank you for yeah for just putting me on the spot here as you were so next week Thursday be there okay Nicole I am you kick my butt as well so grateful all right and with that take care everybody bye
Bye thank you for listening to this episode of the celebrate Brave podcast if you’re ready to build your Brave to live a life you love and create a career that matters to you re reach out together we can spend time one onone to explore how I can help you and until
Then share this episode with people in your life people who can join our movement to redefine Brave how we identify it experience it and celebrate it