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It it doesn’t choose a side it um it uh it plays to all sides which is uh I think a credit to Jason that’s going to be very off-putting when Ricky javice and Steven Merchant just walk in we were told to we were told what you think we
Just Maniacs just run around popping into radio shows yeah quietly no I say I’m in the middle of an interview with ar I yes and someone out there I don’t know who he is he’s one of your Butlers or lackes said go in there well we’re
Very H very happy to have them we just reached to a crucial crucial part of the uh we were just maxing our uh our interview conversation I’m it wasn’t our fault introduce me then oh sorry Aaron this is Ricky and this is Steven St is I know who Aaron is who are
You uh Mike Smith Nikki Campbell it’s a here it is indeed and I feel as I ought to apologize for for you not liking this country I’m sorry well when you were when you what W I’m glad I came here what’s all this what’s all this mate God sorry he Stitch you right
I’m I’m I’m intrigued now tell me I love this country yeah but when you were 13 when I 13 I moved here uh but you have to understand I was living in California I was just you know uh in the surf culture had all my friends you know was
Getting prepared to drive and then my parents took us to Ripley England uh to a small pink flat and Ripley um yeah fair enough yeah it was tough although I will say I then uh you know I took the train to to to London I was going to the Hammer
Smith OD and and seeing all my favorite bands I started drinking God I well I was um I was not a depes mode kind of guy I was a de leopard I was on heavier yeah so um I i’ would go there and then I’d started drinking at 14 in a local
Pub and played rugby the law you know not in this country yes it is 14 yeah 14 it is yeah is that right yeah and yeah do you remember the landlord’s name yes yes I do I do remember the Pub’s name but I think they were happy to have our
Business I’m sure they were but you were breaking the law yeah Jesus we’ve got in bang the rights everyone absolutely at long last what do you yeahor plan tough in here this is no drug was there drugs in this Pub was there drugs was there Badger biting was there live live Badger
Biting what how old were you when you started drinking uh yeah I know I think I pretty much um add a drink on my 18th birthday and got drunk although when I was sort of 145 cuz I used to lie in on a Sunday uh I’d wake up to my mom
Shouting your dinner’s ready so you eat a roast dinner right for breakfast I sometimes take a little sip of cherry cuz it burnt my sort of throat and stomach and made me feel hungry I mean it’s a slippery slope yeah um so no I started drinking probably when I was how
Long was it from your Sherry to your heroin addict oh dear I’m I’m not you want inter no no no I’m enjoying it same to you Steve I remember having a drink probably when I was about 12 uh Sunday lunch again parents gave me a little drop of red
Wine uh I said I can handle this we went to the park I uh was on my bike hit a tree fell off hurt myself and I learned I learned to respect drink after that it was a very wise lesson that my parents taught me there it was not negligence at
All yeah so always Tre I’m going to go now so you didn’t like Dees Mo but you did like de leopard de leopard judah’s priest Quiet Riot uh Iron Maiden all that sort of stuff yeah I played guitar I wanted to be a songwriter uh I had a
Band all that sort of stuff uh now I think we see you next in is this the it’s traveling is it with Jennifer Aniston yes that we have a kind of a love little love movie coming out how tough must that be having a love movie with Jennifer Aniston it was good good
Time just want to finish up with a couple of uh email to you Aaron uh before uh Ricky and stepen just got to take over things yeah uh Rick which in Burton on Trent could you pass on my congratulations to Erin for his amazing performance in the dark KN many many
Words have been written about Heath Ledger’s performance and rightly so but I thought Aon matched him seen for seen as the doomed Harvey Dent i’ be very disappointed if he doesn’t receive an Oscar nomination in the New Year Aon your best performance since in the company of men thank you very much uh
And Darren on this I thought thank you for smoking was a great movie Batman as well I think both movies are of their time when you look at the first Batman it was very much full of pizzazz and an over the toop of performance from Jack Nicholson very 80s This Time Around The
Dark Knight managed to tap into the psyche of modern times and unlock issues that we know we have to base in a modern society yeah I think Heath uh performance in this is timeless I think that it will stand the test of time and people will appreciate it for all time
Eron appreciate you coming in thank you very much thanks for having me Erin eard H and The Dark Knight is a DVD which is available just sort of next on the Shelf to the extras uh sense they will be yeah well we we have been putting movies uh
Because uh of course it is uh five time Emmy nominated TV movie the extra special let’s not forget that it’s a film okay yeah not just a special it’s a TV movie I didn’t sort of talk it up enough really did I you you couldn’t I mean I mean try over the next
Two weeks and I’ll call in when I’ll go you’ve done it well done but there’s a there’s a conversation which you and Steven have on this DVD in which you sit there and you admit to being bored with the whole thing do we yeah remember that
What the DVD or just life in general on the DVD you’re you’re bored with the whole extras thing yeah well that’s why we’re probably not going to do anymore yeah we do change on a day-to-day basis though our moods change you know I’m feeling fairly bored now but anything
Could happen you know the next couple of questions or zingers I If someone gave us some like Sport or Travel or something that could all change I don’t know if you got that on the cards or we could arrange for some travel the sports not you for a bit though travel has
Cheered me up I just want to know what’s happen on the M25 for ch’s sake can we can we help on that oh wait oh yeah fancy me being here just an amazing coincidence you got M25 cuz clearly if this isn’t going to go does that make me
Redundant well can’t you just say everything on the M25 is fine but you’ve done it okay they normally they want a bit more from me than that look Nick do they really you or or is this do they really people on the M25 don’t want any more
Than that they don’t care about the other routs you got a lot to cover you got to cover the whole of Britain yeah the whole of the United Kingdom yeah wow go then which is okay but nothing on the M25 no the M25 is fine I know it’s a
Rare occurrence but it you know today today actually make it good because if this isn’t any good then Ricky and Steven are clearly Bor and they’re going to go the M54 in shopshire I know this doesn’t sound very exciting butok there’s a car look see that there’s a
Car on its roof on the M54 in shopshire and it’s until a couple of seconds ago it was complet I’m saying look at that cuz I’m looking at traffic camera images uh it’s partly block westbound between Junction six and seven between tord and Wellington you know that’s actually a
Video game of Frogger watching it is that’s not that’s just they’re not frogs they’re highways agency officials you should know the difference uh there’s a lane close past the scene uh it does look a little bit busy but the M54 is not probably the busiest Motorway in the
Country at the best of times so a short queue I think is what we’ll say at Northbound M1 were cues towards Sheffield they’ve cleared southbound M4 between Junctions four and three a Lori running to barrier earlier on so there’s still some cones out there as well and
Uh on the westbound A50 two lores are running into each other towards BL Bridge uh that is causing problems between the a518 that’s the Derby Road and the A52 if you want to tell me about anything else it’s just also so vague it is quite vague be specific it’s not the
It’s not the best road at the best of times there’s some cones there we say it’s a bit delayed I mean it’s just I want facts I want hard facts no com there’s a bit of there’s oh there’s some problem in Iraq next up you I mean I thought actually telling you about
Specific details that I can see would be good enough but but but we’ve told you before you could ja this up like you know what do you think a giant hole that police are looking into it yes a couple of classic two ronnes news guys would be
Dynamite next time I want I really I want at L load of wigs has crashed on the M4 police are combing the area yeah we want stuff like that sticky traffic shed load of syrup not kind of you want things like that yeah comedy traffic
Items do you think this is really a good crossover travel and comedy well if there’s a horrendous accident then we cut the comedy but you know just play it by a okay all right a hole has appeared in the side of the wall of a nudis colony police looking into it yeah we
Want stuff like that police thees broke in at a toilet Factory police have nothing to go on do you know things things that I get it yeah if we can have that for the next section 25 minutes I’ve got great Nick dunar five life travel this weekend is BBC sports
Personality of the year in Liverpool for more details click bbc.co.uk live uh it’s 3 21 and rookie jav and Steven Merchant are here what what are you doing there no no go go you look surprised this is your this is your show you’re in charge surprised there that the information propaganda film
They had finished and we’re back on yeah now we’re all say what’s your first question shoot what have you got out this Christmas Steven oh no you just you’re just pandering to us now you’re trying to sort of deconstruct what we’re here for oh they’ve come here to plug
Some well of course we have like we’ve come in just to see you we want to be mates with m can we go and hang out well how much pretense of that do you want to go through before we get I do like doing
This show I I’d love it I do this once a month this is just that last email to about Batman in-depth analysis of the film on radio one they say does he prefer slippers or clogs this is like you’ve got such a smart audience I love
Doing this I am intrigued to know which you refer though do you ever wear clogs no I always wear slippers but I mean if I was if I was a little Dutch boy and I wanted to make a noise running up some stairs clogs are your man the clogs are
Your M so you you want the smartest questions that is possible to to provide on a radio program I I would love I love I’d love you know sort of like you know Mind Body questions Evolution versus creationism um you know moral dilemmas i’ I’d love all that just don’t Ricky
Can you roughly explain what relativity is I go I have a go just so just little things like that if the most can you take it Stephen as well I mean I’ll I’ll try my best um you know and then along the lines you know along the way if we
Could mention that we’ve got um a box set of our extras DVD available this Christmas and also the Christmas special also available on DVD if we could squeeze that in amongst discussions on on Evolution and uh you know Pythagoras then I’d be a lot happier okay so we want the most intellectually rigorous
And challenging emails that but but but you know I think it should be questions they generally want to know the answer to like what came first the chicken or the egg now it’s it’s the egg because at some point two things that were a species of chicken produced this egg that was a
Slightly different species and started new species so the egg came first questions like that I’ve answered it I never want to hear that asked again as a as a as a strange rhetorical philosophical question the answer is the egg came first okay so things like that I can solve all their problems 85058
Mayo at bbc.co.uk oh you’re going to come unstuck Rick on this one I I’ll never get my come up in so this on this box set so this is very good cuz fortuitous that you’ve got all this product out when You’ just come in just to have a chat I’m here to answer
Sort of philosophical and moral questions but yeah if you want to know about the DVD it’s out now if you if you’re going to press me yeah EXT Christmas special out now um what happened in that I can’t remember now uh well Andy milman he goes through a bit
Of a midlife crisis he uh he leaves behind the things that matter most friends um uh Fame is a m that eats into the face that’s the sort of moral of this and in a turns out lovely along the way he meets George Michael on a park bench funny that looking for something
Eating a kebab exactly um so uh yeah it’s it’s fun for all the family well it’s not really fun for all the family all the family to I think you’ve got to be over I don’t know what is it 12 15 I think it’s a 15 on
There okay 15 FR for all the family of of of 15 and over so it’s the there’s no upper limit you can be under four yeah want this so This Then is the film which I think we talked about this before because uh it’s the bit where you go in
The Big Brother house yeah and that’s I watched it again this morning actually that bit when you’re in the Big Brother house and you Del deliver that Soliloquy at the end about your disillusionment with celebrity is still utterly mesmerizing thank you very much you thank you I think it’s I mean it is
Quite astonishing and you appear to be crying Ricky well yeah I wasting I was acting yeah I wasn’t really upset no I wasn’t really upset to be in a room with lional Blair but can you cry can I cry now can you cry to order yeah I suppose
So yeah what this some sort of test some sort of weird Film School test test did you give this one to aarin as well no no I didn’t do that I’m just intrigued but I’ve always it always seems to me the most astonishing thing that actors can do it that they can some
Yeah why do you look at me I can barely remember my lines SL to be honest no I I was amazed when when we first when we first did the and if you remember there’s an episode where David Brent has to get tearful when he’s uh being told
That he’s going to be sacked and U you know obviously Ricky was not a train actor we’ never seen him do that mainly he was just having to touch his tie and look at the camera and uh he just did it first take boom got the emotion got the
Tears and I was dumbfounded I remember well it’s funny cuz it’s the only time uh we used a two camera shoot cuz I suspected I could only do it once so we set up two cameras to get the other people’s reactions at the same time and
Um that that was the only take and uh that was that was a whole do you remember how you did it uh I I felt sorry for David bent I think it was bad that he was um uh having to uh I mean this was about those normal people who
Went on the TV through the sort of 90s and thought that Fame would make them happy and they did anything to to get famous and that was a very important thing about the office you know we said to producers it’s so important that people know this is meant to be a fake
You know a fake documentary cuz if if it’s not being filmed it’s just a quite a boring come when nothing happens but when you know this this man David Brent is doing this to be famous he’s put all his eggs in this basket now his life hasn’t turned out like he thought it
Would he’s desperate for fame it suddenly comes to life and now he’s embarrassing himself on tell he’ gone in there to to tell the world you know that he was a special person he had something to offer and he ended up having to beg
For his job back so it is quite a sad you know sort of scenario really and I can I could feel that I could I could feel his pain so that so that pain that you were feeling there is that the similar thing that you were doing when you were doing
This last sequence in the Big Brother house that was a a similar kind of sentiment you were upset for your character and the things that you’d said to your mates well I thought what I liked about that scene was that it was a combination of the two themes of extras
Um uh you know celebrity uh and friendship and it was lovely that because it was big brother he could look down a lens and if Maggie was watching the TV they were looking at each other for that moment and so I I thought it was one of my favorite themes is
Redemption and um I think the the nicest thing about that scene was that he just said I’m sorry there was no pury no thrills he just said I’m so sorry and and that’s and you know that’s I think that’s quite a sweet moving sentiment really for someone to genuinely say you
Know they’re sorry I just think it’s a fantastic scene and uh and and I I didn’t have time to watch the whole thing this morning obviously no point just pop on YouTube four and a half minutes it’s brilliant but it is a it’s a standout moment don’t you think well
Thank you and but I think it’s interesting cuz I mean there’s you know people have said to me well you know you’re you’re talking about celebrity and and you’re writing something about celebrity and isn’t everyone sick of talking about celebrity and it seems to me that it’s a subject now that’s as
Sort of relevant and significant and important as class used to be in sort of 70s sitcoms you know and Faulty Towers and steep on and so they were always about people aspiring to climb up the social ladder and it seems Now That Celebrity is sort of it is it’s just a
Huge thing everyone reading magazines about it everyone’s got an opinion on it do they want to be famous so they not want to be famous and so it seems that it’s as relevant a subject and as important a subject and sort of worth you know um as medic Poss it’s more important than
Medicine celebrity and has it changed which sells more what the lanet or heat you do the math and a lot of it comes from heat magazine really doesn’t it uh a lot of medical breakthroughs come from heat magazine you can always read about the latest experiments and things yes I
Know yeah um now Ricky jaas and Steven Merchant they have a lot of stuff to sell we’ve only got another half hour so uh what this cynicism is this so it’s such a shame I’m sorry about that this time last year Ricky was sitting there and sitting there was ran Williams the
Archbishop of Canterbury I know I know I was really annoyed that we weren’t here CU I thought um that would have been a fascinating discussion i’ I’d like to do it further really CU I felt that um one I sort of like mugged him he came in for
A little chat and then I’m telling him there is no God and uh I thought he he acted with you know all the grace and dignity that some in his position should I don’t I I I still don’t believe there is a God and and I and I think he’s he’s
Wrong but um he was a very nice man and um we’d love we would just saying out there we’d love to do like a podcast with them and get down to the issues because usually when they’re on the back foot about um uh belief in God it’s
Usually people are having a bark at them about organized religion which is different to spirituality and belief you know they’re two separate things so I’d like to go back and know what he believes in as as a Christian as the you know uh top hono Christian what does he
Believe does he believe the Earth is you know 5,000 years old or does he know it’s 4.6 billion you know I’d like to ask him those fundament and not factiously genuinely what he believes and how he how he brings all this this overwhelming evidence into play with his
Faith Rowan if you’re listening can you get in touch I’ll give us the number the number again there uh so go on 05009 9693 R get in touch or indeed any significant religious leader pleas and if you’ve got a question to row or I mean you know some something about the
Extras DVD when’s it available Rowan’s just called in on the it’s available now Rowan currently available Rowan it’s Rowan from Lamberth on the line I think you can still watch it on he’s still that exchange is still on YouTube uh actually and I think the great thing
About it was that you both seem to respect each other and it was a genuine exchange of views and then Rowan thought right that’s it I’m out I’m plugging my book it’s called the Bible it’s out now I don’t think he wrote it he didn’t
Write it no no he get cut though doesn’t he we are looking he’s got a little bit of back end think they’re doing another sequel three this time it’s serious we’re looking for the most intellectually challenging questions for Steven and Ricky uh before 4:00 really put pushing
The boat out of here in a time where morality has hit rock bottom only one guy can see call God from one of Brothers pictures Bible three what happened to Bible two well that’s you got the old test the New Testament come on keep up you haven’t you haven’t seen Bible too brilliant
Sorry 855 Mayo bbc.co.uk if you’re R Williams you can call 05009 9692 but only Rowan only significant religious leaders use the phone EXA everyone else uses the email yeah you’ve got to be quite high up in the church if you’re his second in command or something like
That then call in as well he’s busy but any other spiritual leaders of a certain rank yes they need to be high ranking okay 0500 9693 May bbc.co for everyone else it’s 5 live at 3:32 on D Digital radio 9 to4 shot trained by Paul Nichols will now be aimed towards the ryer chase at the chelham festival in March former chelham Gold Cup winner and 9 to4 joint favorite war of attrition was third Matt well done well done me yes indeed slightly
Difficult wasn’t it was a little yeah uh nearest I’ve come to corpsing I think but you did very well but I got through total control well done mate what well I expect it you expect what to him to do it without corpsing without without being L see Trev McDonald giggling at 10
Do you you’re not often sitting next to him though he has that’s true that would be weird if I was like his little friend just just just sat there that would be great cut to a wide shot just there I wouldn’t put it past ITV News in an
Attempt to Jazz up the audience just me there eating a bag of crisps and a little chucking stuff and yeah just trying to put him off I’ll put it to him yeah but that’s finish up here first idea Ricky dear Ricky and Steve what do I do to survive should I find myself
Trapped in an elevator whose cables have snapped should I lie down or jump if the latter how would I know when to jump this is from Steven in bronwell high uh is that quite the sort of philosophical question we were hoping for well it’s difficult to say because
You don’t know when the jump yeah I mean obviously uh the theory would be that you you you you actually feel weightlessness for a few seconds so you can actually float you can walk around the walls like you would as it’s free falling but of course as soon as it hits
The floor you’re still traveling at that 120 miles now if it’s got up at that speed which is the maximum in free when there’d be you know no air resistance inside the thing so if it got up to that you know maybe 100 m hour you’d hit the
Bottom of the elevator traveling about 100 m hour so there’s not a lot you can do well what I would do from my knowledge of films like die hard is there’s always a trap door in the ceiling of any elevator you open that you climb on the top you jump onto
Either the cables or some kind of ladder this happened once and Steve started crying and screaming and he lost all bodily functions and I just I just held him gently and I took the brunt of it I laid him and and I I you know I got
Punched but he was just such a screaming s of like baby and I went don’t worry about it and um and I and I got and I was fine not at all chrisen Brighton I’d like to know if Ricky and Steve think that string theory is the most likely
Candidate in their opinion for the Holy Grail of a unified theory of physics well there’s a new one now they think you can actually dissect the strings and find these other particles that make up the strings so uh he’s so pay he’s so he’s so 2007 with string theory what is
It that makes up the strings then qubes I’m just going to hang on till the the old Hadron Collider is working properly I don’t want to make any decisions until I’ve seen the evidence so what’s in a quible then um two hles and and a strumpet this is all very useful stuff
Because you’re doing uh people are doing a levels yeah they’re writing this down it’s that obviously but you’ve got a big standup show haven’t you coming up called science um well uh yeah I’m I’m doing sort of like warm-ups as I go along and I’m uh I’m doing a um working
Up for my first like 10 15 minutes which are our debut with um Richard Dawkins on the 21st of December got a heck of a stand up act yeah impression sort we’re doing a sort of an alternative um Christmas show nine carols and exactly yeah so um um there’ be sort of readings
And and some um fellow atheist comedians um we’re not pushing down anyone’s throat we’re just doing it all so where do the carols come in um well uh well they in between in between the ACT shouldn’t you have atheistic anthems well you don’t know what we don’t know
What’s going to happen to you I’m I’m not going to give anything away it might it might not be carols as you know it you could you could all join in ring out the solstice Bells by Jethro tall sing an assembly that was their big hit
Wasn’t it in about 1973 it was their Christmas song yeah so it’s not going to you’re not going to be singing traditional cars I’m not going to be singing there is a there is an orchestra and choir but um I’m doing I’m doing like 15 minutes of uh standup and the
The the the standup I’m working towards which which is sort of be in full flow hopefully next year um is actually uh it’s called science but it’s a study of the rational and the non-rational so in that you know um I mean it’s probably more to do with that than politics was
About politics but I’ll explore everything from you know Noah’s Arc through to like Superstition and uh um you know things like that homophobia you see that that could does Steven have a role in that um in homophobia I’m very actively involved in that in homophobia yeah I’m outrageous yeah it’s a it’s a
New West End no I’m not involved with Ricky stand up I never have been you’re not ste’s doing his own yeah I do some of my own do his debut uh show soon aren’t well don’t get excited I know you’re excited but I appreciate your complimentary words but um I no I’m I’m
I’m much less advanced than Ricky I’m I’m still sort of scrabbling around trying to trying to get good at it see I didn’t bother with that I just did it before I was good at it well I’m not as arrogant that’s why you’re getting yeah you’re getting paid while you get good
At it yeah yeah Ricky and Steve uh on this email when the wave particle duality problem is finally solved which do you think will prove to be the case well it depends because there’s some things that are ambiguous like delocalized electrons say in phenol um they they come across where they share
It as a sort of like Cove valency they come across like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh and then the uh the crimble magic happens that old crimble mag it’s what Christmas is all about isn’t it yeah crimble magic um available from Ronco crimble magic
Mom what I’ve got snot all over my legs get out the quible magic why do men have nipples asks Vernon well that’s that well it’s a hangover isn’t it from uh you know we’re all this we’re pretty much similar in the womb I mean the the even the
Similarities between mammals in the womb that we all look like a little baby frog um and so there a hangover from when uh you know they developed I think we we all start out as um female as well in the womb so isn’t it true that uh it’s
The exact same distance between your nipples on everybody whatever your size isn’t that 9 in yeah I think that’s true yeah well I mean I I I I don’t know well no it is let’s get can we get a measurement can we get a tap measuring I
Don’t know really is that a wise thing for grown men with webcams up and running to yeah we be about the same but I mean I don’t know I don’t know if it’s Precision s of sort of measuring Joe asks does the existence of Ricky jaas confirm Beyond reasonable doubt that
Evolution is a random process and also dispel the notion that it always works in favor of the fittest in any given environment intuition tells me it’s true but I’d like some more inmed informed confirmation it’s a very good point you know the the human evolution now is
Based on uh different criteria you know it’s not always the the fittest to survive and um and of course the civilized society um I I um I second that it shouldn’t just be the Survivor of the fittest you know or or I mean Steve would never get a chance to pass
On his gentic material what you talking about that’s insane what are you talking about I’m like no In some cultures I would be revered as a god which cultures would they be blind ones lined cultures yeah just in a Petri dish Nazis they they love to stick for Aran they
Would have i’ would have been hugely popular amongst that lot Brenton in Hampshire I can see Ricky buying into this whole Evolution theory if God created a chicken and a boy chicken avoiding the other word cuz it probably wouldn’t get past your spam filter then the chicken came first could Ricky
Define The X Factor uh it’s a program in which some judges go on to um make themselves more famous and richer that’s very good uh Garfield asks how do you stop space or where does space end how do you stop space that’s what he asks yes well they’re saying a different framework
They’re seeing this this this um uh uh it’s the old thing that if space is expanding what is it expanding into when it was nothing where was it um but there they’re seeing it in our um three-dimensional empirical world where space can’t really be defined in those
Terms I think step Haw tries to describe it as a ball as though the end is coming back on itself yeah because it’s well is the qubosity um suggests that qubosity is quite difficult it’s all down the crimbles yeah it’s the crimbles and the quadron do you remember what the formula
Is for quelity um it’s uh just Q it’s weird one cuz it’s the only formula that is nothing at all it’s just Q is that right that does I think is but I I don’t mean I don’t want it because it changes it depends if you’re thinking of it in
The uh the that used to do my Ed when I was little when I was about like six or seven I learned about this sort of stuff um I was quite an advanced little Chap and think I I think I did most of my learning between 3 and 12 and uh I had
To stop thinking of where where space cuz I used to imagine lie bed and imagine a wall and then I could see over the wall and it send me my I remember right I used to I used to sort of like sit in our cold bunker when I was about
Five so think of this as a 5-year-old these two this juer position of these two ideas I used to like breaking up coal and make little black diamonds and then I remember thinking I’ve got to do this really carefully In Case by accident I split an
Atom yeah you well you do think that as a kid but think of that the 5-year-old breaking up cold but thinking I hope I don’t accidentally split an atom when you were sat in your Coal Shed in the 19th century we had a coal bunker my dad
Built up breeze blocks and then the Coleman used to come around I mean this is just you know 60s the 60s did they but if you’d split a crimble I thought you’re going to say then did they have colan in the 60s like you’re like 23 or something you remember did you have
Coleman I know you’re probably from uh the other side of the tracks aren’t you we yeah we didn’t have a coal thing we had one of those uh central heating by one those electric things one of you know one of those bar heaters things all right where did you live where were you
Born I was born in Southgate in North London right what was your background we had two bar heaters and if you felt really flush you had the little light bulbs which made it look as though there was Smoke going up all right oh I remember yeah no that was a bit later we
Had those but I I was a kid I had to go to school obviously had no central heat and you to come down and make the fire and everything I remember in Winter I dreamed that I was up and dressed in that sort of period I I go oh and every
Time I’m not up and dressed it’s just so depressing down I know I had to get up just that freezing cold moment of putting your clothes on uh Ricky and Steven are here and much more to discuss before for don’t look at me like that look genuine pu no I’m just looking
Forward to the track I think I’ve scored a lot I think I’ve scored a lot of points there I think I’ve shown that I I’m uh you know all these questions came in because Ricky was saying he was impressed by the the standard of emails that were coming in as opposed to the
Kind of questions that you get at Radio One well don’t slack him off well you started it well according to you I did uh Nick dunu will be here at well he is here already so let’s do some travel travel hey Go baby go don’t put off at
All by the fact that we have the King and King is there I got headphones on but isn’t there as travel bed is there like oh good Okay Go baby go sort of added something to it okay go on then there people stuck in their car yeah
There are they’re stuck on the westbound M54 in shopshire around Junction six that’s the Turning for tford the West turning for tford uh there’s an overturned car a bit ahead of you it’s blocking one lane and there’s a long Q past it Northbound M1 uh there’s a
Broken down car in the road Works past notum between Junctions 26 and 27 so slow there southbound and 40 uh there’s still a lane close for barrier repairs between Junctions four and three and uh the a38 in Ripley in darisha which is where an eart said he was from queuing
Southbound after 20 sheep broke loose just almost as if you’d asked for a humorous thing to happen and then it did some sheep broke loose some sheep broke loose right and is there a punch line do you do you want one well uh it’s rammed oh excellent see that’s what you years
I’ve spent trying to be taken seriously you reduced it to a local radio level 03 70000 500 if you if you want to call well flow D in the bbc.co.uk sl5 live it’s 11 minutes to 4 uh Ricky J Steve Merchant here you got a uh Comedy Award again at the uh the
Weekend it was it’s nothing why why was it nothing no I mean it’s nothing it’s a British Comedy Award um no it was very nice of them to give me I think that’s the last of it we’ve um we’ve won too many awards haven’t we it’s I think that
Is the last thing that we are eligible for ever anywhere in television you were booed was I when I know when they played the tape I think they oh I don’t know what was going on there comes a point in The Comedy Awards where alcohol so much
Alcohol has has been consumed and I think everyone is trying to Heckle everybody else well uh yeah it’s not it’s not a place you want to be I like the awards I could keep giving the awards but I can I can’t make it whatever I don’t think so why because
There it’s what do you think it’s quite Rowdy down there yeah you know there’s a lot of drink and no food jealousy what I don’t about that um but uh yeah it’s I suspect pretty much like any uh sort of company Works do yeah come Christmas
Time you know it gets a bit Larry and we we don’t turn up at those I her it’s just the two of us that would be some that is quite sad uh there was an interesting article in the latest edition of uh the word magazine I if you ever seen it by David
Heworth and the headline is how did we get so mean and it’s it’s one of these it started with with the Jonathan Ross Russell bran story and he was talking about year Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear talking about uh uh Lori drivers murdering prostitutes and uh a live
Phone interview on six music with George lamb asking Ray Davis WEA he was bowled to Great hilarity and then he says this American TV is thankfully more prudish and this year we’ve had ample opportunity to see how hosts like John Stewart and David lman managed to find their marks without resorting to the
Coing vulgarity of British wbees on post-watershed programs like mock the week or the self-hating cynics of Radio 4 panel shows such as Amando inu’s charm offensive while not hiding their personal sympathies both Stuart and lman also made it clear that they loved their country and respected its political
Processes has comedy in this country got more mean do you think has David heworth got a point or not well I I’m not going to comment on on that but um it’s true about letman and John Stewart they do do really cutting edge um uh postwar Ed
Shows and they don’t swear they don’t lie with everyone it’s as you know it’s as out there as you need to be why well because they’re um I think they aim a little bit higher they’re really clever they’ve got great writers you know they’ve got 25 Ivy League writers on
Every show um and um I don’t know there’s there’s a certain Elegance to people like you know Co bear and John Stewart and and Letterman and you know and Conan there’re you know they’re they’re they’re smart funny people um and uh there’s more at stake as well but
I think there’s a I mean I think there’s possibly there is a sort of strain of of what you might turn mean comedy but I think there’s always been a sort of healthy cynicism in in British humor that’s not always been as obvious in American Comedy hasn’t there I mean you
Can go right back through spitting image I mean you can go back through Black Adder and the young ones and into the sort of 70s shows I mean basil faulty is a fairly malevolent character sniping it people and and places and all sorts of things I mean you right back to be on
The Fringe I just don’t see where this why this is suddenly a kind of voguish thing I mean it just seems we’ve always had on the one hand you know well I think there is I think there is a certain amount of D where there’s some
Programs made that are just you know uh luckily they’re not watched by many people they they are friend shows and uh where where is people legging each other on I mean I was on one you know the 11:00 show I was I was part of it and I
Just I couldn’t believe what we were getting away with but I think that’s more I think that’s more to do with the with the lifting of restrictions on what you can say of course I think you know my supic is that if it was 1972 and you
Could say what you can say now you’d hear much of the same stuff you get the impression watching some shows that if they want it to be edgy which is seems to be yeah the key word that the way it gets edgy is by being more I mean to use
David David was you know more vulgar just involves more more curing his point is that you know you can be out there and edgy and interesting and be more like course ideas are edgier than profanity and you know slagging people off and of course yeah and the and
They’re more dangerous and and I think that people who who who have put a limit on ideas and things that say and they generally mean it are braver than people who are willing to go out onto the street and and swear and put you know pies in people’s faces but I mean I
Think um it does depend because there are some people that say oh they put it on their DVD edgiest thing around too hot for TV um uh and I’m the I’m the bad boy I think we are not really cuz those people have paid money and they’re clapping
Along so you’re not really that bad are you cuz if you’re bad then so everyone that comes to see you um and I I think it’s also it’s not brave to say something that then is recorded and broadcast the broadcast is brave I don’t
Know if you ran into a a station and H someone at gunpoint and and said something then that’s you that’s you being edgy that’s you being dangerous but most of these things are with a blessing of you know 30 or 40 producers going that’s fine you know it might it
Might get a complaint so I I I don’t know really I I think Steve’s right it’s always been around it’s just things things move on do you think we could have a John Stewart show I mean you you can actually see that obviously if you got sell like television you you can
Watch the actual John Stewart show but could there be a British version of that there could be but we’d have to be totally supported and not worry about rting dare I say most people are stupid that’s why most things that happen in art are rubbish by definition there is
An excellence in in all art forms and and it’s an acquired taste and they’re not the most popular things so if you don’t panic and you don’t care about Reigns and you don’t care about everyone watching it or going I don’t get it why is he talking like that you know then
You’re fine but things that clever will never be the biggest thing on on British or American television and let’s not forget the shows that he cited there at The Daily Show and so on are all tremendous shows but they’re not watched by 18 million American viewers they’re
Still you know cable shows they’re still sort of minority programming in a way and I think that seems to be this common misconception that America is just sat there watching these deeply intelligent profound comedies they still Fringe things they’re still very much Fringe TV a lot of the a lot of these
Conversations started with the Jonathan Ross Russell Brand situation do you know Jonathan quite well very well is you think be back on the radio and television as he was before yeah it make it make no difference I wouldn’t have thought you know so um come on come on I’m not going to talk
About other people’s careers you think he’ be back though yeah well why why wouldn’t he he’s got a suspension and he’s going to see it out and he’s going to of course he will yeah of course he’ll be back do you think it was fair enough or not I know you’re not
Going to talk about other people but I’m just inviting you to um uh you know I’d rather not talk about it because I’m sure he wants to um forget it now and get on with it I I don’t think there’s anything to add to the debate really and
I I you know I it’s crazy that it’s on this long get over it there’s there’s there’s Wars there’s Wars going on I think what frustrates me is when people try to use those incidents as though they can suddenly now mount a discussion on the state of the culture the state of
The nation as though these things are somehow reflective rather article in a way suddenly now it’s sort of this is an excuse to analyze the state of Britain but but but it’s not going to change anything I’ve ever said I don’t I never will do I’m never going to Panda to to
Um anyone other than my own moral beliefs we do things on the podcast the audiobooks there for sound now okay and there’s a lot riskier stuff than anything you’ll hear on television or the radio but we got no one to answer to except our own moral code um you can
Download it now iTunes and here the sort of things that we talk about and we we sort of do it defiantly um because the important thing is it’s it’s see the morality of what they did is is is one thing okay leaving but the other thing
Is they were you know they were paid for by the BBC and people you know quite rightly think that they’ve got a responsibility when you haven’t got the responsibility you can do what you want outside your own moral code that’s why I Do I Do stand up I’ve got no one to
Answer to no one to answer to the audio books no one to answer to here I I watch myself of course I watch myself cuz I’m coming in sort of Uninvited to people’s homes and it’s live and there’s nothing you could do and it would be it would be
Very cherish of me to suddenly get a bit of a reaction um you know by saying something that I I I I didn’t particularly believe or did even believe really to to to annoy someone question from m in Alsbury which gets to the heart of it could you ask Ricky and
Steven whether cold fusion is the answer to the tin Global energy crisis I think it probably is is it uh I’m going to go no blame it controversial you got the casting vote there Simon yes or no I’m not sure you’re like Louis Walsh go on yes or no
I’m not sure that it is okay so that’s that’s two no that’s two NOS it’s two one so it’s not it’s not the solution thank you cuz I don’t represent the tin Global energy crisis not my act so I’m not going to go with that Tony on this
For Ricky and Steve who can hold their breath the longest me and Steve uh without knowing it i’ I’d always go for me in any sporting event I probably would that and the will to win yeah he would actually kill himself in an effort to win
That we’ve only got a minute and a half we haven’t got long enough to actually find out not really can hold their breath the longest also it wouldn’t be it would be fairly dull radio it wouldn’t be an entertaining end uh to the interview when there’s so much to
Mention because the extras uh bo is out 6 half hours and there’s a movie and ex box set oh no yeah yeah no six 6 hours 12 hours and the film if you buy the box and the extra film and the Carl Pilkington extras which wasn’t was a
Little disappointing a I have to say well he’s he’s just being an extra and eating sausages that’s pretty much what life slug is an extra yeah yeah I kind of know that he slugged us off he nonstop isn’t it from Mayo ghost town is great thank you very much he’s raving
About Aron art and his movie which was tremendous but you slagging us off I was praising the extras film well that’s true actually you were very sweet and the ghost town was very good thank you very much I’m I’m glad you like that Have you listened to the Audi books or
The podcasts I listen to some but I didn’t want to pay for any of them there it’s only a quid or two quid for hours of fun but there are lots of podcasts that are free Steven Fri po gram is fee you get what you pay for that’s very
True anyway look with this 15 seconds from the end of the program which means we could do that uh trying to hold your breath competition now for a minute I can do it for a minute I’ll go on right okay let’s do it 1 two 3 I’ll tell you who wins tomorrow at
1:00 thanks for listening drive’s coming Next
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Thanks for finding and posting this.