Famille Décomposée – Téléfilm Français Complet – Comédie – Julie GAYET , Bruno SALOMONE – FP

Les Lubac menaient une existence tranquille et privilégiée jusqu’à ce que Léo, père de famille plutôt mou et immature, ne porte injustement le chapeau dans une affaire de délits d’initiés…

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À sa sortie de prison, 8 mois plus tard, la famille est au bord du gouffre, financièrement, socialement et psychologiquement ! Il faut dire que les Lubac n’ont jamais été très armés pour faire face aux difficultés et surtout pas à la nouvelle tuile qui va leur tomber dessus : Michaël Balducci, l’ancien codétenu de Léo, débarque chez eux avec la ferme intention de s’incruster…

Avec :
Julie GAYET
Bruno SALOMONE
Christophe GUYBET
Bruno DUPUIS
Ginette GARCIN
Michel DUCHAUSSOY
Marianne GROVES
Bertille CHABERT
Hugo FERREUX

Réalisateur : Claude D’ANNA
Auteurs : Laure BONIN, Claude D’ANNA
Production : LA BOÎTE À IMAGES
© LA BOÎTE À IMAGES – 2009
FILM AND PICTURE

Okay, come on Cedric, go get ready!
Well, not even in my dreams! Are you sick? Are you hitting me now?
Yes ! And don’t make that miscarriage of justice face, or I’ll do it again.
Well, I didn’t do anything, damn it! Please be polite! You’ll come, that
‘s all! Okay, but you buy me sneakers.
I want Black Mythic! And what else? You don’t bargain with
me! We’re poor now, Cedric. Do you understand? Poor people! We are even below
the poverty line! Eh ? So that it sinks into your head,
copy it a hundred times: “We are below the poverty line.”
Pff, that’s a lousy education! Yeah, well, you’ll have to get used to it, it’s the education
of the poor… Come on, get ready, let’s go!
Uh, what do you mean, “get ready”? Me neither, I’m not going!
But, don’t you want to go get your father?
No ! I can’t believe it! And uh, can I know
why please? But because everyone knows where
he comes from! We’re going to get looked at askance and I’m ashamed!
Well, you will overcome your shame. So. I get over mine when I go out with
you! By the way, does Dad know that you took Serge
home? No. I’ll tell him on the way.
He’ll be pleased. Come on, let’s go. Let’s go and it’s not negotiable
! Oh shit !
Oh, hello Mrs. Lubac! Ah, Mrs. Matarasso!
So, are we going to take a little trip? No, no, we’re coming to pick up my husband. He
was on a…business trip. Ah, that’s interesting… So he’s
in business then? Yes !
Mind you, there’s no shortage of business at the moment , eh?
No… excuse me. Come on kids…
Here’s Dad… That’s nice. Honestly Dick, that’s
nice. Which one is it? Well, for a
business trip, he didn’t go overboard with the suit, eh…
See you soon! Hello. Hello How are you?
You look good… Did you have a good trip ?
Great. How are you, my little terror, hm? Well, I say, your cheeks are red.
He just got hit by one. It looks hot, what did he
do? Nothing. Here we go ? Eh ? Leo, haven’t you found
anything else to wear for traveling? We ‘re known around here Well no I’ve… I’ve put on a bit of weight so…
A bit! Hey you!
Oh my goodness, Micheline! A 4600 from 1976 !
Come on! Hey Dad, do you know we took Serge
home? Okay, hey Cedric, do you want
another one? Come on, move forward! Well, why didn’t you take the 4×4
? Because we sold it!
No ? …Why didn’t you tell me? 25,000 euros! To a guy from Sentier loaded
with money! If she had let me negotiate, I would have done better.
25,000 euros!… Hey Doris, is it true about your brother? Did you take him
home? Yes, my father wanted to commit him to a mental
hospital. Doris, tell me it’s a nightmare, I’m
going to wake up in prison… Leo, the nightmare, he was for me. Eh
? I’m the one who sold the house in Ville d’Avray… I’m the one who got
kicked out of Tajan’s because of you… I’m the one who had to move on my
own… and then I’m the one who works as a saleswoman in a perfume shop for 1,200 euros a month,
so what! Hey honey, do you want to lend me your cell phone
? I would like to go and photograph the railcar at the station.
Well, let’s see! So you can read my text messages? Oh yeah…
Okay, Grace, a little respect for your father, please…
Why would I respect him? He just got out of jail and he wants to go and photograph a
rotten train with MY cell phone. You got it! You got it! Yes! You got it
! No but….
Grace ! Grace, come back! What ?
There’s no point in killing her either… Hey, hasn’t she put on a bit of weight
too? So you like it, Dad, do you like it?
Hey! It smells funny…
Yes, my grandmother had cats, remember?
Yeah, that comes back to me… Aaah… Ah it’s… Ah it’s…
Ah, Noisette, the neighbor… Hello!
Good morning. Did it go well?
Oh well yes, I watched him sleep, but in my opinion, he doesn’t dream of good
things, does he, this boy. My uncle Victor was like that, but he was deported.
Ah? Yes…Goodbye.
Goodbye Thank you. Thank you, Noisette, I’ll come see you.
She is very kind, she looks after Serge for us when we are not there, but she is a
little simple-minded. Yes…
She’s stupid, yes Cedric, go to your room, I need
to talk to your father. Come on, go! You must have some late homework, right?
And where did you put my electric train ?
Oh, is that what worries you? In the cellar. No, listen Leo, maybe it’s time
to make some good resolutions, right ?
Yes ! No, no, I agree with you. We have to get our furniture brought in, it’s…
it’s gloomy in here! Our furniture, but our furniture has been sold
for a long time. And my father doesn’t want anyone to touch anything in
his mother’s house, out of a sense of duty to remember her. Oh yeah, is that what he invented to
annoy us? Can I know what you plan to do?
I got suckered into this like a rookie , but I intend
to hold Bridgeman and the senator accountable! I remind you,
however, of what Bridgeman promised me : “When you get out, Leo, you will understand
what the word gratitude means to me. ”
I don’t understand this kind of mystical need you have to find excuses for him
! Mystic…
You… what exactly are you trying to atone for ?
Pfff… Yes, darling, come inside.
Oh… are you okay? So, are you back?
Yeah man! You have to face the facts. Oh hey, Leo! Don’t start looking for him,
he seems happy to see you again. So, I hear you’re going to be spending a few
days with us? Oh that… Only if I like it.
Yeah, well, don’t settle down too much, old man, eh? Because I’m back now.
And I’m going to take matters into my own hands. In two months we’re going back to Paris, is that clear
? Jester ! Did
he just call me a clown? Ah! There are shelves to install and electricity will have to be connected
to the toilets. I waited for you.
I don’t understand, did your grandmother do her business in the dark? No, because we
could perhaps continue, out of a duty to remember, right? No ?
I’m glad you’re back. All this time, I had forgotten to laugh.
You weren’t sleeping? I’m having trouble…
Well… Apparently the hardest thing is getting out
of prison in a dream. You keep dreaming that you’re there. In reality, we… we
sentence you to 8 months in prison and… plus two years in your dreams.
I thought that, well… I thought that you would want to… that you would throw yourself at me.
Pfff! You know, guys over there only talk about girls, but it’s a load of rubbish. Actually,
if you’re normal, you’re scared. You’re scared all the time. Your little kiss is shriveling up
like a peel. Watch ?
Sorry… It will come back… We will find some time
for the two of us… You know, what I missed the most was hearing you breathe
next to me. It was awful, that bed as silent as a tomb.
Shit, I’m late! I have to drop the kids off at school and I have to go and
perfume the neighborhood grannies… The worst thing at the end of the day is
all the smells mixed together. I feel like I have more of a scent of my own… Come on
! I’ll leave you Serge. You’re keeping an eye on him, right ? Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you,
we’re having dinner at my parents’ house tonight. Try to find something suitable to
wear, even if it’s tight, eh? You still have a nice butt, huh?
Well, yeah, what do you think? Poor, but firm!
Well… what are you doing? Nothing… development projects.
I may be depressed but don’t take me for an idiot! Was there a window
? A kind of skylight, on this side… You
see, we stood on tiptoe like that, and with a sheet attached, we
passed things from one cell to another. It’s called the yo-yo.
That’s great!… Did you have a hard time? A little…
Less than me. Because…my prison… …it’s there! Hey, will you make me
breakfast? No. You don’t know how to heat water
? I’m afraid of gas. You… can you just
turn it on for me? Damn, is it Shabbat or what?
Come on! Yes hello Fanny, it’s Léo!
Who is that? Leo Lubac! Do you still remember? Oh yeah, Leo… So did it go well
? What, you want to know if I had good
weather, is that it? Can you put me through to Mr. Bridgeman? Do n’t leave! Oh, damn… He’s on a date, he asks if he can call
you back. Yes, yes, yes, of course. Wait, I’m
at… 04.78.14.61.86. Understood, noted! THANKS. Bye ! Bye. What the… Oh, fuck! Oh, the jerk! Serge! Serge! Serge! Oh ! Oh
fuck! Oh the idiot! Serge, oh! Oh, Serge ! Serge! Serge! Oh ! How’s it going ? Come on, get up
, get up! Damn, he’s heavy! Oh ! Wait…wait…Let me go! Let go of me,
no let go of me! Fuck! How are you ? Oh ? Oh ? Don’t you call the fire department? Oh no, enough with the uniforms! No, but
look at that, you’ve got fat all over yourself, that’s all you’ve earned, huh? My head hurts… Well, you bet! But what got
into you? I felt like it. I… I
thought to myself, “What the hell am I doing here?” ” and hop! And hop? Fuck… Wait, wait…
No, but how old are you, Serge? Here, drink. Are you that pissed off that I came back
? Yes, well, you have to get used to it, old man! And
Doris is mine even if…she pretends not. Come on! Come on ! You’re
going to your room, right? You’re going to wash your face, and then you’re going to sleep? Okay? Yes, but what if I have after-effects? You already have them. Come on ! I scared you, though, huh? Yeah, yeah! Come on, come on, go!
Yes ? It’s me… How are you doing?
Uh… yeah, great! What are you doing ?
Uh… I’m putting together a file here, to approach financial firms. I have…I have one
or two leads. And Serge?
He is in his room. Good. Don’t forget, we’re having dinner at my parents’ house
tonight, I’ll pick you up. Doris, uh, as much as possible, we
should avoid personal conversations. That is to say, madam, as there was no
one there… Don’t be happy about it, my little one. One
man’s misfortune is another man’s misfortune. I’ve been watching you, Doris. You don’t smile
enough. I understand your situation, but you have to take it upon yourself. Here you have to
… strip yourself of your personal problems. Very well, madam, I will apply myself to it. So, it seems your husband is back
from… from his trip? Yes, indeed, he came back. Well, bring it to us one of these days, we’ll
perfume it… Alright. Doris, your tights are running. I’ll
advance one to you. Come this way.
He should have provided a disabled space for your brother!
Ah, ah, ah…Here, you give it to him. Pfff What’s wrong with you? What are you
complaining about? I’m not complaining, my pants are tight.
It’s a 42 and now I wear a 46. Yeah, well I hope you don’t plan on
sulking throughout the meal. What meal? Your mother’s anorexic chicken
or Commander Psy’s canteen wine? The children are not with you? No.
Oh well, what a shame, I made a good chicken ! You shouldn’t have! You have more money! Good evening, Dad.
Ah! My daughter… are you okay? Aaah… Good evening. Ah, you look good, old man! Eh
? You’ve put on a little weight, haven’t you? Ah ! Good. Thank you… Hey, I met Mrs. Perrigaud,
your boss, at the hairdresser’s! She thinks you could be nicer to
customers. It’s true that if you make that face all day… It’s not with the customers that she would want
me to be more friendly. It’s with her. Clearly, nothing suits you… In the situation
you find yourself in, you are being difficult. Well, you, old man… what do
you intend to do now that this nasty business is behind you? Well, uh… Are you going to go back to work or are you going to
take it easy? No, but I… Huh, because… I was offered a job as an
ambulance driver for you. No, it’s okay, I uh… That’s good, paramedic! It’s
the medical profession again! Dad, Léo has a career in finance. Yes. It will be less easy! There are still
one or two bankers who are eating out of my hand, but with your husband’s insider trading
… Dad, we’ve told you that over and over again
! Leo is not responsible. He served as a fuse for a gang of crooks. Come on, René, you’re exaggerating! He is not
listed as a serious criminal either. Well, uh, I’m not saying anything anymore… Doris, will you come help me in the kitchen? Take the nougat out of the freezer. I
got it from Touchard, it’s still too cold… You know, I didn’t want to intervene, but
your father is right. Your husband worries us… At your age, you still have a chance of finding
someone good, you should think about it. What do you blame him for? Don’t bury your head in the sand, my little girl
! You don’t need a third child. These men are like bad avocados,
they are never ripe, they are too green and suddenly they are rotten. You didn’t say that when he was earning
200,000 euros a year! Oh, oh, oh, we told you long before,
your father and I! He did get discharged, didn’t he? That’s a sign he
hates responsibilities, right? Mom, I love Leo. I’m sure he
‘ll be okay. And then he was released yesterday, he has the right to breathe,
right? And you have a duty to think about yourself and
your children. Of course, as you thought of Serge!
What’s going on with Serge again ? Nothing ! Is it still sinking into the mud? No way ! He’s much better! Impossible ! This boy has a taste for failure
in his blood. I didn’t make an entry. Your brother
only started walking at two years old ! Yes, and he stuttered until he was
twelve! I think, Dad, that for a former psychiatrist,
you simplify things a lot. Psychiatrist in the army. With the rank of commander. Mmm… But yes, Mom, it’s not necessary, it’s
just us… Dad has taken a dislike to Serge since he was born, that’s all. Your brother’s place is in HP. A few
good electroshock sessions will make him stop feeling sorry for himself.
Okay, come on. Enough about that… let’s taste this wine. Mmmm!
You haven’t said a word all evening. Uh uh uh uh ere. What are you talking about ? This is your mother’s nougat.
Who did she recommend to you? What for? To replace me. I’m sure she
knows a widowed dentist who’s looking for a woman like you with two kids. Tell me, Leo? Mmm? Will we ever become light again like
before? Do you think we can do it? How much time do you give me?
Yes, Fanny? Yes, it’s Leo. Can I speak to Mr. Bridgeman, please
? THANKS. Oh, are you playing hopscotch with my money
or what? Pardon. Excuse me. Hey, but I recognize you. We took the
train together! Do you remember, Dick the Bad Luck? Oh yes, of course. How are you ? How’s it going ? Hey guys, it’s Leo, he’s awesome! We
traveled together. He was the one who paid for my ticket. No, but don’t trust the costume.
He is one of us. He did time in jail too. So, this is Fifi. Hello Fifi. And this is Rocco. Like Siffredi, but
more modest. No, no. That makes me happy, I must say! How are you ? Yes, perfect. Well, us too, except for the climate. I’m sorry, Dick, I have to go,
it’s super urgent I… Well yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll give you a little coin. Oh no, no, no, no, no! No, yes, yes, yes, yes! No, no, it’s my turn, it makes me
happy. No no, no, it bothers me. Yes, yes, yes, I insist, seriously? And then it pays off part of the train
! THANKS. THANKS. Hi. Sorry, huh, I…
Yes Fanny, I’m here, I’m here… I’m here… he’s gone? What ? On the weekend,
a Wednesday? I don’t believe you gave him money
? What did your father do? Everyone
knows he’s going to take some. What did he do? Well, it’s complicated. He was an insider.
And is it serious? Pretty much yeah. Mine stole copper from the SNCF.
It cost 300 euros. They gave him ten months. One month for every 30 euros.
And yours, how much did it sting? In the 160 million. And he had… eight
months. HUH!…Fuck, one month for every 20 million.
It’s not the same prices… And the money, have you hidden it? It was a senator who gorged himself on it.
But we’ll get it back. Yeah, yeah, I get it!
Your father got screwed! They split it half and half, the senator took the
money and your father the shame. He’s honest, that’s all. He has the right,
right? Pfff! Honest, what’s that bad word
? He’s a pigeon, that’s all! It’s a repositioning treatment!
I’m not convinced. I’ll come back. Bye. Goodbye, madam. Stand up straight, Doris! It seems like you
carry all the world’s misfortune on your shoulders. There you are hurting me, madam. You won’t make any sales if you’re
hunched over. Yes. Your monthly figures are distressing. But
I look at you, you feel bad about yourself, how do you want to persuade customers
to buy products for theirs? Come on, relax, don’t tense up like
that!… I’m sure you need to confide in someone. I’m here
for that too, you know, that’s it…And now, am I doing you good? Excuse me… Don’t let go of the… Sorry!
No, but I’m dreaming! I’m dreaming! It’s past eight o’clock and you still haven’t set
the table! Oh well, we were just playing
to see who was going to wear it. And I win! And you, haven’t you found anything better to do? Well, I have the right to breathe, right
? I’m the only one who works in this house. You just have to read his report card. You didn’t even see it! If ! “Distracted, not at all concerned.
Not up to par. ” Ah good ? Did you get that? Oh come on, don’t pretend you’re interested
! Is that true, Doris, that it was written
in her report card? Because if it’s true, I’m going to give him a run for his money
. Do n’t make me laugh, I made a mask for myself.
Because what did it say in your locker: “Crook?” Pigeon ? ” Well done! Do you want to go back to abuse
? Because if I report you, you can kiss your suspended sentence goodbye. Come on Grace, come help me set the
table! Where is your brother? Cedric, let’s eat! What did you do today? I went to the ANPE. If I want, I
can clear the markets for 7 euros an hour, but hey… Madame Martineau has moved on to the perfume shop.
She saw you fraternizing with homeless people in front of the post office. Oh no, it’s Dick la Scoumoune, you know
the guy from the train… Really nice, he gave me five euros. If you ask me what else can happen to us
… It must be Hazelnut. Did I hurt you? Grace ? Please…
Leo, this is for you. Oh wow… Michael!
How are you… boss? Sorry… I was just around the corner, so I
thought I’d go say hello to my friend… Leo. Did I do wrong? If ! Yes, yes, of course, uh… I present to you,
uh… Michael, a friend of… of… … of always! Are you out? On the run, old man! Can you
hide me? But no, I’m joking! My nuts were removed the day before yesterday. No,
no. I came to pay my respects… at my parents’ grave in Verneuil. And…and
here I am! For me, parents and friends are sacred, right? Yeah, yeah… for me too… Ah, my little sheep’s head! That’s really
nice! And… have you, have you eaten? No. But, but, but, I’m not without
ammunition. I stopped at the bakery there, on the corner. I bought myself two quiches.
She was closing, I got a price on the last two… A..a..sit down. Wouldn’t you rather have some
hash? Pardon ! I have big feet. I wear a size
48. A size 48! What size shoes do you wear, Dad? From …43. It doesn’t matter ! Your father has small feet
, but a heart this big! What, my little sheep’s head?
Aaah…That’s a beautiful family you have there… So you’re Doris. He’s
a real secretive fellow, my Léo, because with a woman like you at home, I’d
escape straight away… Hey you, I recognize you under your mask, you’re Grace, the chubby one.
Oh well, thanks. I’m sure she’s jealous of you,
it’s inevitable. Huh, that’s not true? No way! What do you do for a living, Doris? Right now I’m selling beauty creams. Oh ! So you are not only the cream
of women, but the woman of creams. If you don’t eat your quiches, I’ll
have them… They’re yours, my friend! Let me guess…
You’re the famous what. To what? Well, yes! What Serge! You bet that no one had ever
done that to me. You wouldn’t be a former stutterer, would you? Me? Do you hear that? I’m like a wolf in the forest,
I hear everything. No, but whatever! GOOD ! …After this gastronomic stop,
I’m going to go there. Ah, freedom is good, isn’t it, my Leo? Ah, well, that’s for sure. It’s good, right? It’s clear. Come on, it’s time for a walk.
Put on your jacket. Come with me to the station. Bye. I…I…
Repeat! What did you just say ! Repeat? No, but I can’t help it, Doris… No way! Finally, why? Because I don’t want a…a
guy who wears size 18 shoes in my house, that’s why! that…that would stop me from breathing. But I have to! What do you mean forced? Did you sign a
blood pact? Almost. Doris, if I’m here, it’s thanks
to him. No, but you have no idea what it was like. He protected me constantly, from the guards,
the inmates… He prevented them from choosing me as their scapegoat, from beating me,
from… from extorting money from me, from raping me! Yeah, okay. But now it’s
over! You don’t plan on going back, do you ? No, but Doris, if I was able to sleep every
night, it was because he watched over me. It is one of the strongest social bonds
that exists, that between a prisoner and… his protector. His protector! No, but that’s it, he
thinks he’s a whore!… Well, I do n’t want that thug in my house. “Little
sheep’s head”! And you, blissful, with moist eyes ! You might as well start bleating! Mbêêê
! Come on, stop, you’re being ridiculous. You’re the one who’s ridiculous! What…
what is this convict mentality, huh? Wake up, Leo, you’re in civilian life now.
That’s enough of the regimenting, the bullshit… Okay, that’s enough now. We sleep. So.
Tomorrow I have to go get groped by Madame Perrigaud. And I don’t have a
protector! And do you have any appointments today? No, no…I…I have to make some
calls, I have…one or two calls. How are you ? Here, finish his cereal, I’m
late! Yes, but on condition that it makes less
noise. Oh ! Am I making noise?
Don’t shout like that. But what are you playing at? But what, there’s no point in… waking
Michael up so early, let him sleep, poor man… Oh well… What, what’s wrong? Nothing, I can at least silently implore
the Lord, right? Hi ! Oh hi, shall I take you? No, I don’t have class until eleven o’clock. Hey Grace…oh, please…We have a
guest sleeping in the living room! Well, we’ll find out! Will he stay long? Hello, everyone! Did everyone sleep well
? Eh ? Hi Michael. Did you hear if Lille beat Bordeaux
? Eh ? Oh no.
No athletes here?… Will you make me my coffee, little sheep’s head? I’m
not from home… Like in a cell, huh ? Well cared for! With a little cold milk. You weren’t part of the house there either
? We had our little habits. Little head,
after that you can go buy me a packet of cigarettes, the local newspaper and Foot-Matin… Yeah, yeah, no problem. Well, I’m going! Mmm… Is that you who smells so good,
Doris? If it’s not you, it’s me, right? Do you want some sugar? Yeah. Leo, come see, I’d like to talk to you for two
seconds! Hey wait, I have to go get my
bag from the car! Well, hurry up, I’ll wait for you in
the entrance. Oh thank you, that’s nice of you, my little heart.
What’s that thing on his ankle? Well, a bracelet… An electronic bracelet.
Like the ones we give to rapists? Yeah… well, not just rapists…
everyone… everyone? Wait, are you kidding me,
Leo? What did he do? Why did he go to prison?
But, I don’t know anymore… a scam on a credit company, something like that… Honestly,
if they released him with a bracelet, it’s because it wasn’t that
great, eh. It’s… it’s like parole. It’s… it’s like
he’s in prison, but with us, that’s it.
In prison at home? Yes ! He notified the prison registry.
Everything is in order. Don’t worry. Wait Leo, tell me this is a bad
dream! Can’t he get out of here? But yes! Two hours a day, in the neighborhood,
to get some fresh air. Well, I have to go there, because… he’s waiting for his milk.
Let’s talk about this again tonight, right? Do n’t worry!
Okay, come here you. What’s so funny? Can I
laugh too? Thanks, man! I’ll pay you back for that… And my
football diary? I had had enough but I looked
: Lille drew 4-3 against Bordeaux. How are you ? He kept quiet?
Like a dog. I’m going to teach him to give his paw… Hey, I’m hungry
now, huh? Maybe it’s time you got started, right? What are you
making for us? I… I don’t know. I’ll look, I have…
maybe a frozen pizza… Let’s see… the obituary, that’s what I
prefer… Ah! “Villeneuve: Baptiste Raoul Morillon died at the age of
93, mourned by his family.” They never write “To the general relief”… Did you
know him? No. Why would I know this Baptiste
Morillon? Hey, don’t smoke here, I have asthma
! Damn, you’re annoying! What
illness do you have? Hey, you’re going to overdose on mascara!
If he would let me go a little! That little cockroach on your jacket is pretty, did
you sew it? It’s not a cockroach, it’s a butterfly.
Dad ! You tell mom that tonight I’m going to work at Alizée’s!
Dressed up like that? Does this Alizée run an American bar ?
And you tell your cellmate that he’s forgotten me a bit!
Grace ! Well, old man, if I had one like
that, it would rock, eh… Hey, great, great, don’t touch that!
I’m just moving it. You don’t argue with orders! And when you pass
by this suitcase, you take a detour !
Because it has his record collection in it. How’s
it going ! I just moved it. What kind of records are these, first of all?
LPs… from the time when music was still being made: Led Zeppelin, Pink
Floyd, the Stones, Ozzy Osbourne… Let me see…
Easy, eh!… This one is worth a fortune: it’s a vinyl of Kurt Cobain
with Nirvana, signed by himself. Wow!
And yeah. The Mona Lisa next to it is a Kinder Surprise! He committed suicide by
shooting himself in the head, Blam! He was n’t a weakling, wasn’t he? Don’t put your
fingers on him, eh! It must be ugly, like his…
Okay, it’s okay, you can’t appreciate it, you’re too stupid.
There’s a garage sale on Sunday… Maybe you could try selling them…
My collection at a garage sale? You want me to tell you what’s wrong with you, little
head? You aim low. Yes, but I still got caught for
insider trading of 160 million euros. Oh yeah, except you weren’t really
initiated. It was the others who were ! You just paid the bill…
But wait! This story isn’t over yet ! Bridgeman, he will eventually compensate me.
You know what he told me: the day you get out, you’ll understand what the
word gratitude means to me. Yeah. You want me to tell you what it means
to him: Move along, asshole! He’s right!
You don’t get involved in adult discussions. When we want your opinion, we’ll call you! You
see, Leo, I wonder if you’re not letting yourself be led by the nose by your wife,
your kids and your brother-in-law! You should take over…mm?
Come here, you! What do you want from me?
Leo entrusted me with your surveillance, I’m watching you… Spread your legs. What is
this? Nothing. A garbage bag. I have stuff to
throw away. He really takes me for an idiot! You
know, I was a monkey before you, so from now on you respect me and do
n’t offend my intelligence. And if you want to kill yourself, you ask my permission
first. Understood ? Yes.
Yes, boss! Yes, chief…
Ah, Madame Lubac! I didn’t recognize you… Ah, Madame Roustang.
“Rostang” Ah…
Ah well, we need some to feed these stomachs, eh? How are you ? Is your husband
adjusting? Mmm,
that must be a change for him, huh? With Paris? that’s for sure.
You know… I met him the other day in the street, and well, you could see
right away that he had nothing to hide. He was walking quietly with a friend,
a nice gentleman, a very proper gentleman.
Which friend? Well, the one who lives with you…
Oh no, he’s not a friend. We… we rent him a room for, uh…for…
uh… To put butter in the spinach?
But, it’s understandable. To find work now around here… In any case, I
gave him ten euros. To my husband?
No ! To the tenant… he was collecting for this poor Mr. Morillon who
died at 93 years old, with no one in the neighborhood to take care of the crown, can you
imagine? Ah…
Well, you don’t need it anymore so I’ll take it… I’m wasting your time
with all this chatter. So see you soon !
And go to the store, there will be sales. My memory to your mother! Oh my God
! Here, here’s a euro! For the caddy! Where is he? Where is he?
Michael?… He went for his walk. His walk! Wait, you mean his
racket! I don’t understand anything you’re saying… Do
you know what he did? How do you expect me to guess?
Okay, uh, come on, stop playing the zen guy, huh! Do you know what he did? He
charged Madame Roustang ten euros to buy a crown for a
93-year-old old fool. A crown of what?
A funeral wreath! The guy died and he supposedly did a collection for him.
Ten euros for this old top, hats off ! Honestly, uh… no, but I do
n’t even know her, she jumped on me in the street like I was part of her family.
It’s incredible, I don’t know anyone here and everyone knows me
! Everyone treats me like I just narrowly escaped the guillotine.
Is it thanks to your parents? Oh come on, leave my parents out of
this, huh! Leo, I want you to kick this guy out of my house! Let him go and do
his pathetic business somewhere else! That’s simply impossible, Doris. It’s
against my ethics. Your ethics? Do you see where your ethics have led us
? You said the same thing about Bridgeman: “Oh well no, I can’t
do that to him, Doris!” “And look where we are. No, but it’s… it’s crazy,
this… need to worship someone, to be… to be their thing
! Why is it never with me? Am I disturbing you? No way. I can come back after the argument. No, no, but it’s okay… come in. It’s what ? Well, flowers, “And may
the humble gift be sweet to your beautiful eyes” Do you understand what I’m saying here? Well, uh… It’s by Paul Verlaine. That’s the only
thing I learned from school. But it goes with everything.
Well, go get a vase anyway. Doris! Doris!
Where are they all? Cedric is playing ball, Serge is sleeping, and your
father is out shopping. Do you want some coffee? I left some. Oh no, I never drink it. I’m already
pretty speedy. You make me laugh, you always address
me in an impersonal way, have you noticed? In my opinion, it’s because you
don’t yet know whether you should address me informally… or formally. Do you want me to tell you why
? You don’t know yet if you’re a kid or a young girl. Or if you are a friend, or an enemy! That little bear you sewed
on your jacket is cute… It’s not a bear, it’s a panda. There are always animals sewn on your
clothes… Does that bother you? Is this a sign of recognition? No. I have no gratitude for anyone. I’m sure it’s a sign of recognition…
between thieves. Anything ! You are the thief. Exactly, and I recognized you.
You tax your clothes in stores by cutting the lock with a cutter. Then you have to hide
the hole, so you sew little animals. Isn’t that true? No ! Do you want us to look in your bag? I
‘m sure there’s a cutter… What about? What does it matter to you
? I would be pleased if you spoke to me informally. What do you care? Well, there you go. It’s just us now. Sir ! Sir ? Whoo! Woohoo! My…sir
? Monsie… ah! Hello, Hazelnut. How are you doing, super shape
? Well, I’m fine, apart from my anemia which makes my
legs weak… It feels like I’m dragging a thread behind me, Mr
Bellucci. Balducci, Hazelnut. Oh yes. I knew a Zanucci once.
Uh…Toby Zanucci. But…he was…deported. Yeah. Come on Hazelnut, our little business
there? Oh well, you know, it’s quiet, huh! Yesterday
I got… a 27, and this morning, an 18. But I marked them for you. So.
I was waiting for you to arrive, because…I’m a little cold. I’m going home and then it
rains! There are a lot of foreigners now, huh. In the past, there were fewer. Yeah. Come on Hazelnut, eh! Go
home. Don’t go catching a cold on top of your anemia, eh? Goodbye Mr. Bellucci. Goodbye, you’re kind.
Cool ! …You see, he’s just asking to go… You just can’t stop him. It’s like
with women. That’s because you’re tall. Ah, ah ah…You’re never big enough
with girls, son. You look at them with your tongue out and your tail wagging,
while they can see you without looking at you and without wagging their tails. So, what should we do?
Aah! I’m not going to give you all my tips at once. Come see! First, you
tell them they’re not mature enough for you, it works every time! Okay…and you, uh…have you
had a lot? Ah, well, modestly… I scored a few
baskets. Tell me, I need to check out some wine sales sites, can you help me
? Well, yeah. Are you an alcoholic? As with daughters, son: not obsessed,
enlightened amateur. Come on… Damn, you’re pissing me off! Well, well! You’re impulsive. This thing is a load of shit! He’s
my mother’s old bastard. In a packet of laundry detergent, she found it! Hey, by the way, could you
take care of my laundry ? Are you out of your mind? And what else
? She doesn’t even wash her panties! And in exchange, I’ll give you a cell phone. What brand? The one you want. Are you coming, Cedric? And uh… The Player 500? Are
you going to buy some wine? No, son, I’m going to sell some. Ah… do you have any wine? No, son, but I’m going to buy some… Wait,
wait: Pauillac, Premier Grand Cru classé, Château La Terre Bénie, 1982, rated 100
out of 100, 2850 euros. What ! ? 2850 euros, a bottle of wine
? Who drinks that? Most of the time, badgers who do
n’t know the difference. Hey, look, there’s the same one cheaper
there! 150 euros per bottle. It’s not the same. 1997 was a
shitty year. Thank you, it’s the year I was born. For the grapes, not for the children! …Tell me, do
you know anything about stuff, like photo editing? Well, yeah, I defend myself well. Look,
I did that. Wow, you know, something
like that could get you a life sentence! You know what, I might have a
trusty job for you. How to make fake wine labels
? For the children, it was a very, very
good year! Um…I’ve been thinking. I agree.
For laundry. You surprise me! You also do the ironing,
okay? If necessary… Okay, pass me the phone book. Sit down.
Let’s see. Filloux Isidore. No, with a first name like that, he must be at least
a hundred years old… Figueroa Antonio, Portuguese, therefore bad tempered. Ah! Oh yes…! Fioravanti
Lisette, I have a good feeling about this one…give me your phone number! Give me your phone
! Are you on “hidden call”? Uh…obviously! Yeah… Does it still work? I think so. Here we go!… Hello, good morning, am I
at Mrs. Fioravanti Lisette’s?… Hello, madam. This is the
water company’s refund service… Yes. We have a… an overcharge there in your favor…
No. In your favor. That is to say, we owe them to you, what!…yes… 189 euros,
05 cents, 54.4 cubic meters… That’s it. But yes, of course, madam, we
will reimburse you, don’t worry … We have two options: either the
amount will be deducted from your bill at the end of next year, or we will
credit your account. Obviously, the first option is much more advantageous for
you because you also benefit from an interest rate of 1.05%. That is to say… almost
2 euros. It’s appreciable… It’s not money that’s sleeping!… And it’s
more interesting for us, you know, because it gives us cash flow, to
improve the network… No? … Are you sure? Because it makes my
life easier, you understand, it allows me…to avoid
doing paperwork… Now you’re being hard on me, Mrs. Fioravanti!….
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, don’t get angry, we’ll transfer the amount to you. You
can either send us a bank account number, or give us your credit card number… Is that
it? Okay… But hurry up, madam, because I have to go to lunch now.
51? 99… 6226… 3332… 5628… Expiration date, please… 07.12…
and the three numbers on the back. On the back, next to the signature… 420. That’s perfect, Mrs.
Fioravanti, everything is in order, it’s as if you already have the money… In about
two weeks. Goodbye Mrs. Fioravanti! Well, get over it, chick! What is the
cell phone you want? Uh…the…the Player 500. Okay. Go for the Player 500. We’ll call your
operator. Hello miss….yes. I would like to order a phone
please… Mr. Lubac? Where is Mr. Lubac
? Yes, he is here! Good morning !
What did you notice there, compared to 2009? Incar… a quarter of what? …cere. Tight ? Ah! Incarcerated! Well, say it! Incarcerated…
I’m leaving. You are always in a hurry. You’d think
I was scaring you. No not at all. You’re not making enough of your physique,
Doris. It seems like you don’t like each other . Your face is still the showcase
for our products, you know that? You have beautiful eyes. You should
use a more appropriate eyeshadow, you know, when you want to highlight
a shade, you use the complementary color. I’ll think about it… No, you won’t. You don’t think
about yourself enough. Do you know what we’re going to do? You will come on Monday, we will be
quiet and I will show you how to take advantage of yourself. You need it.
All right ? No… I need my Monday for
something else. Doris! Doris? Your trial period is coming
to an end and no one is happy with you : not the clients, not your colleagues, not me.
How do you explain that? Maybe I don’t like
women, madam. In that case your place is in a garage,
not here. Do you intend to continue to be so…
unfriendly? I don’t know. Well, you better find out before
the end of the month. So, little head. Where were you? I
was starting to get worried. I had a job interview. Oh ! There, you disappoint me! Do you want to go scratch
in an office with the subhumans? Eh ? Aren’t we comfortable here? We are accommodated for free.
Doris brings back some money to pay for our extras… Hey! Have you thought about my diary? If you like sports, you can…
run to the corner. Someone come help me, damn, it’s
heavy, huh! It seemed to me that there was a pretty
woman in distress… Is she okay? Did you have a good day? No, not yesterday’s, not the one before
… What are you doing? Well, uh, ca
n’t you see it? Do you know how to iron? Well, yes! You don’t have to have attended Saint-Cyr
either! Absolutely not. And what are you ironing
? A new blouse? Finally ! Is this the Gestapo or what? What does
it matter to you? Okay, Grace, talk to me in a different tone,
please! Whose shirt is this ?
Dad? Your father never wears pink. So, I don’t know anything about Serge! I’m doing you a
favor and this is how you thank me ? Would n’t she rather be at Balducci, Grace
? Grace, why are you ironing Balducci’s shirts? To help you at home! If you’re not
happy, you just have to finish it yourself! How are you ? Great. So, did your interview go well
? Yes, yes, uh, to be continued. They have to call me back.
Don’t worry, it’ll be okay. Oh yes. Well, in the meantime you could
get rid of this guy for us! It’s everywhere: in the living room, in the kitchen, in the toilet! I
feel like I’m hosting an elephant ! In a month he will be gone. Well, listen, you’ll… explain to me how
you plan to go about it, eh! In any case, if you want to eat, you’ll have to go
shopping yourself… with the money from the funeral wreaths!… And I suppose
you didn’t even realize that your daughter was doing his ironing. Oh poor guy, I hope he does
n’t pay too much for it… So much the better. Nor that Serge obeys him like
a poodle and that your son is in awe of him. He bought her sneakers… Great! This guy steals your family and
you play the quiet little train! All that’s missing is for him to sleep with your wife. You would never do that. Oh yeah, you think so?… You don’t touch me anymore,
you’d think you became a faggot in prison… You know, Léo, eh, I have
no ethics, eh. If he’s the head of the family, I’ll go sleep with him.
Well no, you’re the one who’ll be sleeping on the couch… You should go change that
light in the bathroom. What are you doing… Aquoiserge
? Can’t you see what I’m for? I sort
waste, no one does here… Just don’t mix it up, that’s all! Doris,
she throws anything with anything… Look at that… paper, with fabric
! Hey, hey, hey, let’s see! Given ! Ah, the
idiot! She was the most beautiful! Fuck it, this is nonsense, huh
! Aluminum trays with poly ones… Did you go to chemistry school or something? I would have liked that. But my father
wanted me to go into the military. Are you a soldier? Poor French army
! …According to Leo, Commander Psy is a jerk . He always said that I was a
zombie and that… my mother… she made me with my testicles inside… It’s finely observed, for a shrink… Do
n’t you want to get some fresh air ? To shoot some poultry? Eh ? Note,
girls cost money! You wouldn’t have the means… I have all the means I need! I’ve been receiving
a disability pension since I was little, and I don’t spend anything… How much do you have? Eh ? That would allow me
to calculate what I can earn you… In euros or in months of prison? Stop! You could show all these
idiots what you’re worth. Everyone in this house thinks you’re a loser. I’m a poor guy… And if you want,
how much can you make me earn? A lot. By doing what? By investing in a business that I am setting up. What kind of business? Wine, old man! There is more money to be
made in wine than in oil. Always explain…
Okay, but stop your garbage work. Listen ! We buy a bad year of a
great vintage, we change the label for a great year and we put it at an auctioneer.
The initial stake can be multiplied by fifteen or twenty. It’s risk-free. Even
an expert will say that it is a bottle that has traveled badly or has gone bad.
Here, let’s sit here! Yeah. Okay, shall we go? Yeah. Damn, I’m freaking out! The same, then? Okay, here I go!
Uh… hello? Yes. Yes. Mrs. Lemasson Sylvaine ?… Yes, yes, hello madam. Uh, I…
this is the gas company… no, no, this is the water company. So
! Uh…actually you have a…we have…a…a…a, oh, shit! How do you say, you know, when you’ve got
too much money? No idea, it’s never happened to me. It took you a while! Can’t you take
precautions beforehand? How are you ? No. There are… there are too many people. Do you think so? What do you want me to do, empty the
street? I don’t understand, what are you afraid of ?
I feel small as an ant. I’m afraid that people won’t see me
and then they’ll crush me. Come on, let’s cross here… No, no, no, not there… it’s dangerous,
I don’t like it. We’ll go further, then. Yes, no, but I like to cross
in front of the church. For what ? If you’re asked… Because sometimes there are
funerals in front of the church, I like that . Don’t you think you’re a bit annoying for an
ant? If you’re not happy, we’ll go home, okay…
how much do you want? 2000, to begin with. You’ll get 1,500, not a penny more… And
then you’ll wait for me outside. You… you must be used to keeping watch outside
banks… You’re really starting to get on my nerves, son. Afterwards, we’ll go buy the wine and we’ll… we’ll
go to Touchard’s. We’ll have an almond croissant for me and half a meringue
for you. I don’t like meringues! Yes, but I do. But one is too many.
Mr. Lubac… Mr. Lubac. Ah, hello Hazelnut. I wanted to tell you, I have numbers
! Ah, that’s good! How are you otherwise? We did
n’t see you yesterday. Oh well, you know, it’s… I don’t really have
time to take care of myself… In the morning, I go to my injection very early,
to the nurse’s and then I have to watch the street… Of course. Well, well, good luck, eh, Noisette
! Ah, hey, hey, Mr. Lubac. Don’t tell
your friend that I’m giving injections, eh… no but because, while I’m doing that, well
… I can’t watch the cars eh… Well… yes But… but without that, my anemia is
galloping and the doctor scolds me. Mm! He’ll think I’m not serious. The doctor? But no ! Your friend, Mr. Bellucci! Mr. Balducci?
Oh yes, that’s it! So when you see him, tell him I have two numbers
for him: 42 and 84, but they didn’t stay, eh? No, no, not at all. I
saw them just when I was going out, and… and I ‘ll tell you something… I think that… they
weren’t men, eh, they were women… because the men, they
put them all in a truck… With who you know, eh. Of course… come on! Goodbye, uh… Hazelnut. And here is the prototype! Look at that,
son! We have just transformed the wine into gold. Isn’t that a real miracle? I ask to see. I ask to touch! We make about
ten like that, you take them to the auctioneer : once, twice, three times! Sold
! 25,000 euros! Give me the change! Shit, I broke a nail! Hey, who is it
? Grace and her girlfriend. You would see them! Three
thousand years of civilization to get there… And the cork? Did you put a date
on the cap? Do you read traffic jams? Well, if that’s all it
takes to please you, we’ll print some. You know what? Maybe we should do
a test first. A test? But, on whom?
Oh hey, apparently she got her penis shrunk! Yes, yes! I read it in
a magazine. Ladies . Am I disturbing you? Uh, no! He’s… he’s my
father’s friend… She’s Alizée. ” Go for it ” ? That’s a great name for
a girl! … I’m kidding. Hey girls, are you good at manicures? I want to open a nail salon later,
then! Just look at her nails! Look at
mine! I don’t really like the color, but hey,
that’s just me. Well, then no jealousy. One hand each.
I broke a nail, I need a little cleaning: skin,
polish, massage, … Hands are important , right? I’m sure you
look at boys’ hands. Well, it happens to me. First the eyes, then the smile and the
hands. They… they’re awfully big,
yours. Ah, those aren’t wimpy hands. Full
of fluid! When they touch you, you don’t want anything else. Here, I’ll do
an experiment for you. But don’t be afraid! You’re a big
girl, aren’t you? Do you feel? What ? Animality. It matters. You have
animality. Oh yes ?
Yes… Okay, move over. I don’t have time for that,
eh! Normally, you have to soak them in water
to soften them. That’s what women do: as soon as they have a
man, they only think about softening him up. Not me. That’s great! I don’t ask more from
life. And you, girls? Well, there are one or two more things I
wouldn’t mind. I suspect so. You want money,
huh? Like everyone else. Real ones, not yellow coins! But for that you have to do
a little business… Are you following me? Which ? Can we know? No, you are not mature enough yet. We’ll
see when you’re older. Hey ! I’m not stupid. You want us to
sell shit! No, lily of the valley! But we will wait until
May 1st. …No, no, no, but it’s okay. Tell Mr.
Bridgeman I’ll call him back… Goodbye Fanny.
Oh, Leo! Hey, Leo! Ah, hi! The family is growing,
I see. How are you ? It’s decadence, old man! Finishing on
a large surface, guys of our level ! What did you buy? Oh, stuff, uh… to fix the electrics
in the toilets… Ah, that little corner, well lit, well
heated, that’s what we miss the most ! Hey, check out what’s happening!
Oh, oh! Whoa whoa ! This isn’t entry-level
! There are all the options. Hey, miss, a meal ticket or
a little kiss! Look at that, it’s acting proud and sleeping with badgers. Ah, that’s okay! Come see, Dick. Uh, tell me, could I…could I
ask you a favor? To you? Are you kidding? You kill a guy, I’ll help you
bury him in your backyard. Word! René, are you coming? Guess who’s here?
What are you doing here? I… I came to apologize to you…
Well, it’s time! But no, Doris’s… new tenant.
Michael Balducci. My father, my mother. I am delighted, madam. I
didn’t imagine you were so young. Pretty, I knew it, because of Doris… But… it’s… an honor to
know you, my commander. Ah, everyone speaks of you with such respect.
Oh well, I hope so! After all the trouble I’ve gone to, that’s all that’s missing
… Ah! So you’re still at a standstill? No, no, I’m fine, I assure you. It doesn’t show. And stop
blinking when you look at me, you know I hate it. Come on, René, don’t be stubborn,
you’re intimidating everyone. Sit down, sir. My husband was a psychiatrist in the army
with the rank of major. He appreciates strong characters. Oh, come on, leave it…nobody cares! Allow, allow! I drink in his words…
I bet he bullied you when you were a young girl? Oh for that… I was losing my composure, I was…
stammering, I was stammering… Just like me.
I’m sure you’ve had a lot of fun with a man like that. Yes, I admit we had some good
times. There’s no shame in that. You know what? I brought a good
bottle. Serge told me you were an expert, Major. That too
! Mm, we can definitely smell the vintage, eh. Pure
82! Amber, rich, with notes of plum, roasted… You smell the plum, right, you smell it
? What a palace! And you, Réjane, do you… do you feel it? Oh me… Oh me, you know, I don’t have
my husband’s palate… Tssst! Tssst! No false modesty, I
‘m sure you have a royal palace ! And that finale: long, fleshy… Long, fleshy, Réjane, can you feel it? Yes, that’s exactly it, I…I was going to
say that. I think we should go there. I’m
tired right now. NOW ? But we’re only just getting started! Oh well, this boy has always been a party pooper,
then! Shit ! Shit ! Fuck! I already told you, Leo, cooking
is not a man’s job. Well, supporting six people is
not a woman’s job. I’m going to set the table. Are you coming to help me
? No ! It’s a cycle, then we end
up cooking. Hey… one more chance ?
I need to talk to you. Normally, it is by appointment. This is important. Go next door. I’m coming.
What is this construction site? Wait, but… we don’t run hot water
on whites, you’ll clog the sink ! Hey, honestly I think I’d rather
clear out the markets, eh! Well, go ahead, go to the markets, that way
at least you’ll do something. So, what do you want?
Uh… uh… there… uh… we… we agree. What for? Well, to sell the… the lily of the valley. I don’t know if I can trust you. But yes, yes, yes, yes, I assure you. This is great stuff from Morocco.
I want fifty euros on the 10th. The 10th of this month? But no, the 10 gram bag, you idiot
! Are you sure you qualify? All the extra money is for you, and no
scam, right? And uh… you… don’t need… uh…
ironing? No, the service is not good enough. Neither uh… nor anything else? I’ll think about it, mm? But it’s not
forbidden to make me proposals. Do you want something special tonight
? No ! I’m not hungry.
Tell me, Serge. Mr. Philipeau called, it seems that you… withdrew 1500 euros
? Hello professional secrecy! What do you plan to do with this money
? Is this to help with the house costs? No. I’m going into business. Oh, you put them on?
Push-ups like that change your mind! Oh yeah! I have great energy. I’m going to
beat everyone in the race! Hey, look! Wow! Did you see? Oh yeah! Grace, will you come help me?
I’m calling! And you don’t touch it, okay! Neither do you
look at it! You don’t even talk to him! And you keep your animality to yourself!… No, he
‘s in my house, he’s my guest!… No! Otherwise, I’ll smash your face in! …Well,
you go through me. For all business questions, you come through me! I’m the
one dealing! Seen ? Grace, did you hear me?
Damn, she’s really annoying me! Yes ? It’s selling for 100 euros on the 10th. But no, not on the
10th of this month! The 10 gram bag, you idiot !
You put too much oil! Grace, come right away! She’s really starting to get on my nerves
, isn’t she? Serge’s worrying me, he’s in a bad way… If you go that way, everyone
in this house is in a bad way. We could open a spinning mill. He withdrew 1500 euros from his bank, eh
! I’m sure it’s for your boyfriend. Serge? I’d be surprised! Meaner than
him… Tell me, are things still going badly with this Madame Perrigaud? More than ever. She gave me the market
: either I sleep or I squirt. So, what did you decide? I’m not a lesbian. She would be disappointed. I think I have a solution to fix
your situation. Oh yeah? It’s what ? I’m suspicious… But what do you want? Come give your dad a hand
! As if I had nothing else to do! Can’t you see
I’m on the phone? Wait, you’d have to be blind and deaf,
you spend all day on the phone. So don’t come crying about your package! And first of all,
what is this phone? I… I got it with my points. That’s it! Take me for a fool
! No, but wait! Hey ! Excuse me, but Grace has work to do! No, but now I’m totally hallucinating! Give me back
my phone, right now! No, I want to do some investigation first
to find out who it belongs to. Confiscated during investigation! If that’s it, I’ll pack my suitcase and
leave immediately! You, packing a suitcase? But then you
overestimate yourself, my dear! But give me my phone! No ! Dad, tell Mom to give me
my phone back right away! Cedric, I don’t want to see you in those sneakers. Eh ? But finally, why? They are Michael’s. Give them back to him!
You bet, he wears a size 48! Cedric, take them off immediately! Oh ! You don’t need to encourage him,
eh! It’s for me! It’s for me! Give me back
my phone. I’m waiting for some important news. Hey, where are you going? Don’t move, take off
those sneakers first! No ! Oh, Cedric! Finally, I would like some tapioca… Very good, my dear. No ! I’m the one who answers. Hello
! Doris, are you okay?
It’s me ! Yes, Mom, perfect. Okay, so I’ll pass you your father. Yes, it’s me. Who is speaking
? Well, it’s me, Dad!
Ah! Good…. …listen, then, since you’re giving us
little satisfaction overall… …I told your mother to call you…
Just once: you got an average !
to… to what? This boy! He came, uh…
…to introduce himself, good point for him, eh. Yes, polite, uh…witty…
…very, very impressed… By what?
By me! By the house… …and even by your mother.
He’s going to sell us some great wines. This is the height of irony! Now that’s the
height of it! You know what? He wants to try to sell them some great wines!
What the hell is this scam? You realize, he wants to try to fleece my father now
! Impossible, you can’t pluck a rhinoceros…
Would you say that’s mayonnaise ?
No ! Oh, that’s not true!
Oh ! Shit…. Grace!… Grace! Come here, I need to talk to you!
Again ! But what about?… Are you going to give me back my phone?
Come right away, I tell you! Okay, give it to me! You received a message… Did you read it? ! But…you’re disgusting
! It’s private! Give it back to me! So what does “I have
a client” mean? Well, nothing! This is…this is a joke! It’s
a friend who is playing a joke on me! Thank you… What do you do for 200
euros? Well, nothing! Are you out of your mind? What do
you think? Are you a prostitute? Are you crazy? You really have a
dirty mind. Grace, come here! Let go of me! Let go of me, Ouch! You’re hurting me
! What do you do for 200 euros? What is
the price of this? Answer me! That’s the price of pipes! Does
that suit you? Are you happy? Okay, tell me the truth… Is this the guy
? What… what type? Him there! But what are you looking for? Well, anyway, tomorrow I’ll find you a
pension… Go to your room. I believe it, really! And what will you pay for
the pension with? I’ll have to lend you some money !
How are you, little head? Are you doing well? Where are you going? Leave me alone, you’re so stupid! Grace ! Well, we don’t get bored at your place.
Grace ! Doris, are you there? Open the door… No, leave me alone! But what is it? What’s
wrong with you? Are you crying? What happened to Grace? So, what’s the price for a blowjob,
huh? What ? But what is this question? Doris
? What do you want me to know about it ? Open the door, Doris! No ! Go join your friend. If you want, you can come sleep… with me.
Hey, excuse me, I wasn’t listening, but I heard: a good blowjob costs 50 euros…
Who wants to get involved, your wife or your daughter? Because if it’s Doris,
it deserves a little more! Do n’t be angry, I was joking! Little
head, don’t lose your sense of humor! Can I use your computer? Well, yeah. What do you want to see,
train stuff? No. “Michael Balducci” What do you
want to know about him? I would like to know who it is first. You can’t see it, right? “Michael Balducci, aka Rocket Mike…
” …He’s an American football player, I ’d be surprised if it was him. Note,
he’s super good at basketball, did you know that? “Michael Balducci, vegetarian restaurant
in Brisbane, Australia…” No, that ca n’t be him either. Well no, he downed half the roast
by himself! Trumpeter, uh… South African politician… Hey Dad!… Why don’t you try uh…
Michael B for short? “The Marmot Gang – 13 robberies, 3,600,000
euros in loot, dismantled thanks to the confessions of a certain Michael B.” Do you think
it’s him? “This gang is suspected of 13 robberies in a few
months. The team was particularly targeting jewelry brokers and their marmot,
that is, the suitcase containing the jewelry. It was the confessions of a certain Michael B,
whose identity the police remain particularly discreet about, which
led to the partial dismantling of the gang. ” Shit then! It’s a scale… It’s
ugly. What are you going to do, Dad ? I’ll take care of it.
Grace ? Hey, are you there? Yes, I’m sleeping! Do I have the right? It’s not Sunday! Hurry up, you
‘re late! Hey, some visitors! And what a visit! You could lock yourself in! Oh no. I’ve been locked up for two
years, that’s fine! Well, you do n’t save! What are you afraid of? From me? Certainly not! So, from this little quarter of an hour, nothing
at all? What quarter of an hour? I don’t understand anything
you’re saying! But yes. That little quarter of an hour where you
would forget everything. You need a few in a lifetime, right?
I swear that by noon we won’t even think about it anymore. Except for a little memory, there. Grace !
What are you doing, little head? I’m going to fix the toilet electrics… Oh well, it’s not a luxury! Well, what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with
you? What’s wrong, are you crying ? What…you…you…you want
me to do something? Shopping for tonight?
No, no, it’s fine. Dissatisfaction is the natural state of
women. You didn’t know, little head? No. But…luckily you’re here to
educate me. Hey Grace? How are you ? Are you crying? But, is there
a disease in this house, or what? Listen to me, I have an important favor to
ask of you. I need you… You have to figure out how to get the
combination to Michael’s suitcase. This one could die! Grace, please, you ask to see
his records and discreetly look at the number. You can do that, he likes
you. I don’t want to be involved in your convict schemes
! You are rude! Hey, do you want a chip?
They’re back! Well yes! The municipal police! Incapable
and lazy people! Hey, where are you going? Hey, Dick? Oh, no! No !
Can I use your toilet? Certainly not! You’re going out! After that, we’re leaving! Okay, then go ahead. No, you don’t get anything
! Don’t touch anything! Go for it ! And flush the toilet ! Oh, a princess! Oh ! No Sultan! Sultan, do
n’t sniff, madam, we haven’t been introduced!
Let me through! But yes! Hey, madam, a little kiss
for a poor leper please !
But finally Peggy, what is this circus? They’ve been here since this morning! Doris, please
take care of Mrs. Laforge . Of course, madam. Hello Doris, Hello. It’s for a gift. Miss ! Can you give me a little
bit of scent? Uh, yes, Sandrine, perfume it. If that makes
him go away… Well done Dick! Go on, my Dickou! Hey, Fifi, come on! Come and get perfumed
by the lady! You’re going out! You’re going out! that’s enough! Out,
out, out!! Sandrine, call the police. Tell them they
‘re back. Wait, I’ll see what I can do. Come on guys, let’s pack up and get out of here! Doris, what did you
tell them? Oh nothing, madam, they are friends of my husband.
I do what I want with it. I told them to leave. But I can also tell them to
come back if you want. Oh you’re handsome. Oh, take the little apple. When are we going to eat this rabbit? Nobody wants to kill him. Ask mom. I have the combination to
the suitcase. It’s 666. The devil’s number. Ah good ? But how did you do it? Well, I told him his record collection
was crap. So he saw red and took them out. Men are fools.
Hey ! Thanks, huh. And women are sluts!
So, have you opened the suitcase? Shh… What was in it? A marmot. A what? A marmot. That’s what
the jewelry salesmen’s briefcases are called. Shit ! And there are jewels in it? Full ! But that’s not all… you know,
his electronic bracelet… Yes. He took it off to sleep. Do you understand
what that means? No. That means it’s fake, Doris, otherwise
the cops would already be here. His bracelet is fake, he makes us believe that he wears it
to…to stay here! But why does he do this?
But because he’s hiding! He’s hiding at our place. I saw newspaper articles,
he ratted out his accomplices. He must have stolen the groundhog from them and now they want to
kill him! That’s why he asked the neighbor to watch the
street! What ? Is Noisette his accomplice?
But no, no! He just tasked her with keeping an eye on the car numbers. This guy is evil incarnate…
He might have spotted you in prison. That’s why he protected you! He must have
thought you were the perfect pigeon. Yes, that’s true… We should throw him out, Leo! NOW
! You have to kick him out of the house! No ! No ? So I’m going to do it
! No, no, no, no, no. Yes Leo! No, no, no! Stay here We’re not going to stay here!
No, stay here! This guy is dangerous. He ‘s dangerous, he was part of a gang
! So, you have to call the police! Yes, that’s it, yes! To end up
with cops and reporters all over the house? Do you want it to start again
? Let the whole town know? No ? No ! So you let the pigeon do it and
I’ll take care of it tomorrow. I did learn a few things in prison… Come and see for yourself! What, what is it? Show me something… Show me… What are you doing? Leo? What are
you doing ? Can’t you see? I am fulfilling my duty of
remembrance. But what are you doing? Well, you see, I break things. But why? To relieve myself. And…Can I relieve myself too? Oh yeah, go ahead, no worries. Can I fuck my grandfather’s portrait
? Oh yeah, yeah, go ahead, yeah. I didn’t know we were allowed to do
that. Ah, me neither. Commander Psy will be happy
! My medicine! Go to your room! Go to your room! Go
to your room! But what happened here
? There were some guys who came. There were
three of them and they were looking for you. Eh ? They broke everything… They broke everything…
they… they told me they were going to come back. They’re going to come back to…you…
you know…you…that’s what they did… You could have warned me anyway. Imagine
if the kids had been there … What would those guys have looked like? I don’t know…uh…I don’t remember, I… There was
one who had an accent, I don’t know, he sounded like he was Bulgarian or Yugoslavian… Wasn’t there one called Cassidy? I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know… they
stole your suitcase, with your records inside. EH !!!! And you let them do it! But, are
you stupid or what? Wait, what did you want
me to do against those three guys, uh… Glad I’m alive! Wait,
I’m a stockbroker, not a boxer! Ah! Fucking whore!
Well, I have to get out of here. Don’t you have some money for me? Oh no… no, I have nothing… Look,
maybe the bread money, there, in the little brown box. There are six euros… But if they ever come back, what do
I do? Nothing !!! You gave them my records! What
else do you want to do? Is it that serious? These records were a security for
my old age, you can’t understand. Okay, come on, I have to get out of here! Eh ? Well, good luck… Yeah. I need it… It really stank of
cat piss in your house! Thank you…
Grace! Grace ! I’ll walk you back. Come on, don’t be silly… Come on. How are you ? Are you
all alone? Can’t you see it? You shouldn’t always believe what you see…
Yesterday morning, for example, in the bathroom, I was all alone. You’re making fun of me! No. I was all alone. Sometimes,
being alone makes you do stupid things. And I was lucky you came in… Not me. It doesn’t make you happy to… to see that
your mother can also get a bad report: “Distracted, unfocused,
not up to scratch at all.” “I had a moment of distraction, I was not up to it at all
. When you were little and you had a nightmare, you wrote it down
on a piece of paper, do you remember? And he was thrown into the fire. We just have to say that we both had a
nightmare. We write it down and then burn it… Do you have a piece of paper
in your bag? It’s still a bit of a void, isn’t it? Well, obviously, a guy who wears a size
48! You’re not going to start stuttering again! Did I stutter? Yes, I heard! And you blinked too, I
saw you! You’re pissing me off! Oh, are we getting on your nerves?