NORTH DEVON TO SOUTH DEVON PART 1

#devon #bikepacking #northdevon #southdevon #tarkatrail #trail #bikeride #adventure #fil #beer #life #raleighbikes #uk #apex #raleigh

Hello, my name’s Jonathan Shagface and today I’m going to be taking on the notorious North Devon to South Devon bicycle ride journey and I’ll be doing it on this 1992 Rally Apex mountain bike. Before we start this episode, we need to have a quick a quick chat. And um I wanted to say something. I can’t remember what it is. The last episode I did uh was the one where I threw up all over this bed and I’ve still not washed it. No, I did. I went straight to the [ __ ] lingerette when I woke up because that was disgusting. And it’s type of thing you shouldn’t be doing, isn’t it? And we’ve already we’ve already been through that. And and after then I didn’t drink for about 3 weeks and then I ended up working at a festival with my good old friend Mr. Shitcock and whilst I was there um I indulged myself. I didn’t kick the ass out of it but I had a [ __ ] good time and I’d do it all again. It was brilliant catching up with old friends and that. Um and I also looked at my life from a different dimension and that was good. And I I had a massive realization as to what what the [ __ ] I should be doing. Like I really thought about stuff and uh um I got to the bottom of uh what I wanted to do with this channel and where it’s going and stuff like that and come to the realization I don’t want this to be like um like a [ __ ] alcohol support group. Um so I’m going to stop doing the Phil’s last ever beer videos and these kind of depressing ones and stuff. That’s not that’s not what this is about. I wanted to be about going out and enjoying myself. And I’m not saying I want to go out and [ __ ] send it because that’s that’s not the way to do it either. So, it’s um yeah, meet in the middle somewhere, isn’t it? Like what I think what I’m trying to say is I want to go out, enjoy myself, film myself doing things cuz if I can film myself and make some like make a bit of money off going out and enjoying myself the [ __ ] I want to do anyway, then that is in my eyes that is literally like winning at life. So, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go and do some some good things and uh try and make some money off it. So, don’t be upset if you see me having a few [ __ ] points while I’m doing it, but I’m going to really try to avoid um you know, just [ __ ] going into a town and just all I want to do is [ __ ] drink. So, um yeah, but I’m just going to stop talking about it. I’m going to stop [ __ ] going on about drinking and stuff. Um, well, like the bad side of it, but I want to squeeze in a few delicious beer reviews out because some when I was down in Corm, honestly, some of the beers I had were just [ __ ] amazing. And I have a few in this episode. Um, but that’s it. But I uh thank you for anyone who like all these [ __ ] anti-alcohol videos and stuff like that. Everyone who put like, you know, wonderful comments and stuff like that, I really appreciate it. And I hope, you know, other people have [ __ ] I try and read loads of I don’t reply to all of them because it just can’t be [ __ ] But like um it’s yeah hopefully some people have like had a [ __ ] bit of a wakeup call. I certainly have. Um so it’s definitely been worthwhile. But got to got to enjoy myself living life and stuff. And you definitely don’t need alcohol to [ __ ] enjoy yourself. I want to try and push that a bit as well. You know, I want to prove that you can go out and do it without alcohol. But, you know, there is going to be a few [ __ ] beers and but hopefully it’s not going to get [ __ ] messy and stuff like that. And I’m fully aware that there is certainly an issue there and it’s not cool anymore. It was cool when I was getting [ __ ] steaming when I was younger. Back in my life, but getting too old to be [ __ ] going out drinking on my own and throwing up all over the bed and stuff like that. So, um, what’s I’ve just been rambling there because I just want to [ __ ] what’s the thing I’m trying to say? It’s like um uh within reason, not within reason, like um quantities like what the [ __ ] is it? Just a little bit of it. Like [ __ ] hell. What’s the [ __ ] word? This is doing my head in. Um Oh my god. Moderation. Well, what a [ __ ] be it start to the video. That was That’s it done now, is it? And it’s all a happy time from now on. Today’s video starts off at Plymouth Station where I managed to squeeze in a spot of sunbathing. Little bit gutted. I didn’t have a bag of grated cheese to pour over my face. When the train arrived, I had to put my bike in the correct carriage, but luckily there was a train conductor disguised as a boiled egg to show me where to put it. liking it. So I’m trying to Yeah, it’s a nightmare through the rest of the train. That’s what I’m thinking. London. I boarded the train to sex exats. Well, there was one in particular, one person who really bloody annoyed me and it was this little old hag who must have been about 90. And I just asked her whether she wouldn’t mind giving up her seat cuz I’ I actually I’ve got a bit of a back problem. Um, and she started getting really angry at me, but I didn’t let it ruin my day. Got off at exit station, waiting for the train to bounce the ball. Managed to grab myself a quick pasti. Accidentally picked up a cheese and onion, um, which was a bit annoying, but it was still quite nice, but I needed some meat. And luckily, I had a a pepper army wide boy uh that I could stuff in there. And this just brought back some fantastic memories um of you know just stuffing a a sausage into a a hot cheesy pastry pastry pasti. It turned out to be really nice. Um and then uh what did I do? I got the train to Barnstable. Barstable’s as far north as I could get and I had to cycle about an hour and a half to uh get to the actual start line of this fantastic adventure. Well, here here we go. Here we are. Here I am in the town of Ilfream. And uh as you can see, it’s quite a nice nice place. Like it looks all right, doesn’t it? But it is a little bit rough around the edges. Just cycling into into the town there. Um I’ve noticed there’s there’s a bit there’s definitely a bit of inbreeding or something going on here. I’ve cocked a few people like a family of people with like pointy pointed heads and webbed fingers. Uh but not that that makes it a bad place, but it looks really nice from here, but it is a bit um bit scruffy in certain places. Uh but it it is nice though at the same time. I headed into the local Weather Spoons called Lick the Dog’s [ __ ] and ordered myself a pint of orange juice lemonade and a pint of the lime one and a pint of pizza and chicken sizzlers and lumi and put those ingredients into the center of the pizza itself and then garnished it with a healthy drizzle of catum. And then I I rolled up the pizza into a sort of wrap-like formation. And the girth wires were probably talking smaller than a Pringles tube but bigger than a [ __ ] Um and then I inserted that wrap straight into my Willie cleaner. [Music] Well, certainly wasn’t the best night’s sleep. Uh, but I’ve I’ve had a I’ve had a worse night sleep. I did manage to get a few few hours in. Um, and uh, yeah, I was I was nice and warm. I was actually too warm at one point. I I couldn’t go to sleep cuz I I thought I wanted uh sleep with my jacket on, but that jacket I’ve mentioned it a few times. It’s just it’s either too hot or too hot. That’s literally the only settings it has. So, I took that off and put on this uh nice thing that I got in the charity shop. I think it’s a running A6 is normally running in and it’s a running hooded hooded sweatshirt. Um and this is this is quite nice to sleep in actually. Um yeah, managed to sleep for a bit. Woke up for [ __ ] an hour. Woke up for a piss. Could probably go back to bed right now actually. Um, and then managed to go back to bed for a bit and then woke up again cuz it started raining quite heavily. So, I just reached for the this big poncho. Um, I couldn’t be bothered to put it up properly, so I just drooped it over everything I had. Um, and then went back to bed and now the time is nearly half 7. So, I’ve had a bit of a lion to be fair. So, let’s get on with it. Let’s start cycling to Plymouth. I’m just trying to touch the sea without getting my feet wet. I got my feet wet. Well, we’ve touched the sea now. That that symbolizes the start of the adventure. So, it comes to an end when I get in the sea at Plymouth. North Deon to South Deon. Let’s do it. [ __ ] hell. It’s a little bit worrying when you select the route that says moderate hills and this is the first first thing you’re greeted with. This is just brilliant. Having a really good time. It’s about trying to conserve as much energy energy as possible. So, you just got to get low, ride it out, give you less a good rest, legs a good rest. I’ve just arrived in the town of Braw Brawn or Prawn Town. Just been in um Dino’s over there. Picked myself up a traditional steak pasti and a flat white for breakfast. and uh then we’ll uh crack back on with it. But I feel like that’s that is literally going to be the worst leg cuz I’ve kind of done this journey before. I’ve cycled from Bsterall to um to Plymouth and you kind of stick to like Dishus Railways all the way there. It’s a good it’s a good route. So whoever come up with this idea, cheers for putting it back into my head. It’s um I think I’m going to enjoy this. Uh, so yeah, I’m literally just about to get on the Tarker Trail, which I’m pretty sure is a dishused railway line, and then that just goes on for for a long time. And then eventually you sort of I suppose you end up going across Dartmore. And then I can’t really remember it, but eventually I’m going to end up on the Plin Valley, which I know really well. I sort of grew up down that area. Um, so yeah, I think I’ll put the I had to use the satnav Google maps to get myself out of, but I think I’m just going to just wing it from now on. I think it’s going to be well signposted and uh yeah, it’s a really good pasti to be fair. good um good meat ratio in it. The Taka Trail is an absolute gift. I think this is money well spent and we need this like a network of these safe cycle routes all over the UK and uh people could just ride from town to town and you know without fear of getting knocked off your bike and this this it’s like this in a lot of other countries. they have this this kind of facilities, but in England it’s um it’s becoming a thing and that’s that’s good. I’m going for a wank. Well, okay. Well, let’s just take a little look at this. This is um what’s known as the Yellen Stone Row. And I’ve just read all of this information on that sign there. And I couldn’t tell you anything about this cuz I’ve not took any of it in at all because I suffer from uh chronic spastosis of the brain. And um also I’m suffering from I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it but a little bit of a back problem at the moment. I’ve tried not to try not to let people know but it is uh it’s certainly there. Um but not not enough for me to mention it. Uh but what I do want to mention is actually my hamstring problem. I’ve I suffer from uh hamstring weak hamstring disease. So it’s a horrible pain to have. It’s um it’s definitely like a trapped a trapped nerve or like a weak bit of muscle or something. It’s that kind of sensation. And then after a while, once I’ve from previous experiences, once I’ve had that for about 6 hours continuously, my leg just goes something goes in it and then it seizes up. And that’s it’s happened to me loads of times. It’s normally at the worst worst of times as well. Last one I remember was um before I left the army, we used to do this like a endurance thing every year called the Brunell Cup and um a bit like the tri wizard tournament in uh Goblet of Fire, that kind of thing. and whoever does the best wins the the cup for the year or something. Um, never won it. Uh, but the the last one I remember, it’s a different event each year, but the last one I remember was uh it was like I think it was a 20 mileer and then every sort of uh few miles there’ll be some sort of event like an obstacle course or uh river crossings and just stuff like that. And the last event on it early hours of the morning was a stretcher race. So I think we had about eight BS in our team. Um, and then there’ll be four BS on the stretcher at a time, which is like a couple of scaffold boards with um scaffold poles with uh tank track welded welded to it and it weighs a ton. And then those four BS will go as fast as they can and once they’re start flagging a bit, the next four BS will jump on there and you just do that for a good few miles. And um I uh yeah, on the on my team there was this bloke who was like literally bent in half. Everyone was knackered, but there was this one bloke who was literally just bent in half, just not putting any effort in. And I remember screaming at him, being like, “Fucking get a grip of yourself.” And then I just pulled him off there and I was like, “Right, I’ll get on there.” And then I I got on there and I was like, “Right, let’s go.” Absolutely. Started sending it for about 10 m and then my leg just went ping. And then uh I remember being like, “Get me off here now. Get me off.” And uh yeah, and then I just limp to the finish line. And then the time doesn’t the time doesn’t end until your whole team’s in. So, I think we come last place on that cuz cuz of me and my and my dodgy legs. So, that in mind, I’m going to be taking it taking it nice and easy today. Keep pulling over, stretch my legs out, uh stay hydrated, and to be honest, I don’t really want to rush it. I want to take this in. It’s about taking time and smelling the flowers on a on a bike packing journey like this. So, I mean, look at that. I don’t want to I don’t just want to have my head down and miss out in uh absorbing this sort of fantastic scenery. Look at that. It’s [ __ ] beautiful, isn’t it? I’m just coming through right. Sorry, I don’t have a bow. I do actually have a bell, but unfortunately it’s covered in cheese at the moment because I’ve forgot to forgot to carry out the important balloon inflation technique where obviously you just pinch the end of the fish nostril and just fill her up and that’ll uh that piss will act as a sort of antiseptic keeping uh keeping your old boy nice and clean for the adventure. But you need to do it from the start and I forgot about it. So, I’ll have to find a pub or something later and fill up one of the sinks and uh conduct bath time for Mr. Pink Whistle. I’m not sure whether I’m still going the right way. I’ll ask these people here. Hey, uh do you know is this is this the right direction for me to head if I’m going to Plymouth? Honestly, [ __ ] rude people. I might as well have been speaking to a couple of wooden statues. I just It makes me wonder like why I even bother doing this stuff. I’m out here doing things like this to try and raise general awareness and like being nice to people and stuff. And then you meet people like that and it just makes you question why you’re even doing it.