Jeremy vs Richard vs James vs The Stig: RACE Across London! | Top Gear Classic

That time when the team competed in an epic race across London: Jeremy in a speedboat, James in a car, Richard on his push bike and The Stig on public transport but who will finish first?

From Series 10, Episode 5
Watch the full episode on BBC iPlayer: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b008czf4/top-gear-series-10-episode-5?seriesId=b006mj59-struct…

00:00 The race so far
01:04 Jeremy’s secret plan
01:42 The rozzers
03:21 Jeremy enters the race
06:15 The race heats up
08:09 The final stretch
10:13 The winner is…

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[Jeremy] Meanwhile, The Stig was plainly
bemused by his strange new world. [Richard] No! No! You filthy, foul, stinking… [Richard over the phone] Hello?
[James] Hammond? (CRACKLING PHONE LINE) – Ah, you stinking, evil *BLEEP*! Foul, reeking, hell-making… [James] Hammond stopped
swearing long enough to answer the phone. Hello? [Richard] Hello, yes, what? [James] I’m just coming up to the first Albert Hall. I wondered how you were doing. You’re just behind me. I’m stuck at the lights again. Oh, right. Well, I’ll give you a friendly peep as I go past. I’ll kick the crap out of your car if you do. [Jeremy] 35 minutes into the race and Richard was still in the lead. James was still on his tail, The Stig was still in a tunnel and I was still following a path
forged by nature at nine. But I wasn’t worried at all. Hammond by now will just be bathed in sweat. Hideous, smelly. People will vomit when they go near him. James, of course, he’ll end up in Huddersfield
perhaps, Pontefract, who knows? Not the City Airport. Stig, don’t know. Might think he’s a Brazilian electrician. And then me, having a lovely time. And I’m going to win. [Richard] I was now scything down Piccadilly. And joy of joys, the traffic was horrible. [James] As it turned out,
jams were the least of my problems. (SIRENS) Oh, crikey, it’s the rozzers. The police only wanted to check
the permit for our camera car, but it still cost me valuable time. So on the basis that stopping here, I’ve lost
about three or four minutes in the race and that sort of corrupts the results, can we just do four minutes of
blues and twos and I’ll follow you? What I can do is I can give you a 5090
to say that I’ve stopped you, and then you can submit that to your
superiors as a record of me stopping you. [James] What?! [Richard] I was pulling further ahead. Trafalgar Square left. Right. This is where I need to be. Cycle lane – one, two, three metres of it,
and then I’m back under that bus. [James] With plod off my back, I now had to pay Ken Livingstone
for permission to sit in his jams. Er… (PHONE BEEPS)
[Automated voice] I’m sorry, that was an incorrect selection. (PHONE BEEPS) [James] Hello, I need to pay the
congestion charge for London. [Woman over phone] OK, can I have
your vehicle number plate? Er, I don’t know. Erm… Er… 56 Hotel Foxtrot Zulu. [Woman] And is that the Mercedes GL500 in silver? How did you know that? It’s actually a 5.5-litre, but they call it a 500 because they’re a bit embarrassed about it.
– Oh. [Richard] With James stuck in the traffic
around Piccadilly and Trafalgar Square, I had to seize the moment and push. There’s the river. That’s 24mph showing. I’ve got to keep that up. Head down. I’ve got to just go. Hammond? – Hello.
– Where are you? – I’m on the river.
I’ve just got on to Embankment. Where are you? I’m just going past Fulham Football Club. [Richard] This was bad news. Jeremy was now only a minute
or so from Wandsworth Bridge, where he could put his foot down. So although the car was imprisoned by the traffic, the boat was coming into play and Stig was closing in too. [Announcer] Please mind the gap
between the train and the platform. [Richard] I’ve got 19mph showing
on my little speedo here. I’ve got to keep that up. I feel sick. [Jeremy] There we go – Wandsworth Bridge. Yes! OK, Hammond and May. Live with this! That’s the Embankment. Where’s May? At this point, Richard was just
eight miles from the airport. I had 17 miles to cover,
but I was going an awful lot faster. The Stig was now catching Hammond too,
and even worse news for the one in shorts, James had cleared the traffic. Here we go. [Richard] Argh! We’ve got to beat Jeremy and we cannot be beaten by James. Arrggh! [Jeremy] Battersea Power Station,
ladies and gentlemen, to your right. Coming up to Millbank, now,
headquarters of the Labour Party. They won’t like this very much. Ha-ha! I don’t like this car, I have to be brutally honest. It’s not my kind of thing. But a car is
nevertheless the right way to do this. I’ve got it just set to 20 degrees, bit of Radio 3… [Richard] Yeah, pull out on me, why not?!
That’s what I’m there for. [Jeremy] The Stig in a close second
was now making his final train change. Hello, officers! I just went past the police at 45mph! Annoyingly, I couldn’t fully open the taps
because, weirdly, I had traffic problems. Look at it. Just endless tourists. [Richard] Come on. Got to get my speed up! – This train directly to King George V
via London City Airport. 20, 25… 20… 18. So frustrating. [Richard] Argh! Where is Jeremy on his boat? Where, where, where? Tower Bridge! Going through! As the river widened, I became the fastest moving man in all of London. We’re knocking on now, coming up to 50mph. How can we lose now? It simply is not possible! Gah! Yah! [Jeremy] At this stage, James was last and The Stig was still several
stops away from the airport. So it was becoming a two-horse race. The bends in the river had made
my journey seven miles longer, but I was now doing a whopping 70mph. Hammond was probably feeling
quite good about his chances. Well, I’m sorry, mate.
They’re gone now. They’re gone. Bloody lights! Bloody *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* lights! *BLEEP* hate them. [Jeremy] London VTS, London VTS,
this is Red Cougar. Requesting permission to go
through the barrier at speed. [Dispatch] Visual copied, proceeding through the barrier. Take Charlie span in between the green arrows. Sorry. [Jeremy] Somewhere around here, there’s an airport and I’ve got to go and park at it. [Richard] City Airport, there it is. Come on! Come on! Come on. I’m here! I’ve arrived! Coming through. [Man] Unfortunately, the gentleman on
the bike’s checked in already. What?! – The gentleman on the bike has checked in already. – Hammond?
– Yes. (RICHARD LAUGHS) (INDISTINCT) [Jeremy] How the hell did you do that? It’s easier on a pushbike. You don’t get stuck…
– You’ve ruined Top Gear. – Well…
– It’s the last-ever show. I’ve bent it a bit. But hang on, then. What you’re saying is I’ve ruined
Top Gear because I won on a bicycle. You came second in a boat. Between us, we’ve ruined… we’ve ruined Top Gear. We sat down to see
if Top Gear could be salvaged. Just as long as the car beats public transport. What if the car… Ooh, God, that’s a very good point. What if the car loses to public… We need for public transport to come stone-dead last. We soon got an answer. [Richard] Oh, no! – Did you go on a Tube?
– Underground? Did it go dark, flashing lights? – Did you go on a train?
– Were there other people? What he’s just done is he’s gone
slower than a boat and a bicycle. That’ll just be going “Bzzzzt!” – Inside, there’s all numbers… There’ll be a bit of smoke come out
the top in a minute. Keep watching. [Jeremy] 15 minutes after The Stig, James arrived. – Thank you, James.
– What have you done?! – The car, as an entity…
– Ruined. – ..lies smashed and broken
in front of us because of you. He beat you on public transport. [Richard] Yeah. We’re ruined.