Why do we all stim—tap pens, bounce legs, hum—and no one bats an eye, but when neurodivergent kids do it, they’re judged, punished, or silenced? In this powerful video, we unpack the science, stigma, and soul of stimming. From autism and ADHD to trauma and anxiety, stimming is a human coping mechanism—but society still labels it as “weird” or “wrong.” We explore how stimming helps regulate emotions, focus attention, and express joy, and why trying to suppress it does more harm than good. This is your ultimate guide to understanding, supporting, and defending one of the most misunderstood behaviours in neurodiversity. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, ally, or neurodivergent yourself—this is a conversation we all need to have. Let’s stop the shame and start seeing stimming for what it really is: human.
#Neurodiversity #Stimming #AutismAcceptance #MentalHealthAwareness #OnTheVerge
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CHAPTERS:
0:00 Intro
1:44 What Exactly Is Stimming?
3:16 Why Do Some Stims Make People Uncomfortable?
5:40 Common Stimming Behaviour’s
7:55 Every Stim Serves A Purpose
10:29 The Way Society Often Responds To Stimming
15:12 How To Support Stimming In Different Settings
16:51 Final Thoughts
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imagine being punished for doing the one
thing that helps you feel calm safe and in control Sounds cruel right But that’s exactly what
happens to countless neurodivergent people every single day just for stimming You’ve probably
done it too Tapped your foot clicked a pen um bounced your leg But what if those tiny
habits were the difference between peace and panic clarity and chaos For many neurodivergent
individual that’s the reality In this video we’re unpacking the truth about stimming why it matters
um how it’s being misunderstood and why society still shames something that’s not only normal but
necessary Oh welcome back to On the Verge YouTube channel Um yeah in today’s video we’re going
um deep into the world of stimming what it is uh why it matters how it’s being misunderstood and
why society desperately needs to change the way it sees this incredibly human behavior Whether you
stim yourself love someone who does or simply want to understand neurodiversity in better this is the
video for you in my opinion um obviously So let’s talk about what exactly is stimming Now stimming
refers to a broad range of repetitive actions um sounds or movements that serve a sensory or
emotional purpose These behaviors can look like rocking back and forth um hand flapping pacing
repeating certain words or sounds or even watching spinning objects or stroking certain textures
For neurodivergent individuals stimming can be a life affirming tool for navigating a world
that often feels chaot chaotic overwhelming or under stimulating Now stimming isn’t exclusive to
any one condition It’s common among people on the autism spectrum those with ADHD sensory processing
disorder OCD anxiety and even some trauma related conditions But here’s the thing stimming is
actually universal Everyone does it The key difference lies in frequency intensity and purpose
When someone with autism flaps their hands to manage overwhelming emotions is fundamentally no
different from a neurotypical person biting their nails under stress Both behaviors serve as coping
mechanism Uh ways to self soo regulate or focus Now why do some stems actually make people uncomfortable Well part of it lies in visibility
subtle behaviors like tapping a pen or bouncing a knee blend into the into the background But
more overt stems like vocalizations or flapping draw attention and attention unfortunately often
leads to misunderstanding um judgment and even discrimination Historically stimming especially
in autistic individuals has been pathologized Yeah it’s being pathologized early research largely
dominated by deficit deficit based uh models of autism viewing stimming as a problem behavior
something to be eliminated through interventions It it was seen as a barrier to normal social
functioning rather than what it often is a critical tool for emotional regulation and
self-expression In many early therapeutic settings children were taught to suppress their stims
through behavioral conditioning The logic was that reducing stimming would make someone appear more
more typical but the cost of suppressing was high Many individuals reported that being forced to
stop stimming increased their anxiety reduced their focus and made them feel feel ashamed of
something that was inherently natural Today though thankfully the tide is is turning Neurodiversity
advocates autistic self advocates and progressive therapists are reframing stimming not as a
symptom to be erased but as a legitimate and essential part of a person’s sensory toolkit We’re
finally beginning to understand that stimming is communication It’s regulation It’s survival
Now let’s break it down a bit more There are many different types of stimming and they vary
not only from person to person but even from moment to moment depending on what someone needs
Some of the common stimming behaviors Um moto stimming is perhaps the most recognized form It
involves physical movement like rocking flapping um spinning tapping or pacing These actions can
help ground a person provide comfort or help them process a big um emotions Rocking for example
creates a rhythmic sensory experience that can calm an overactive nervous system Tapping fingers
might help someone focus during a long meeting or when trying to retain information Then there’s
vocal stimming This includes things like humming repeating words or phrases uh clicking or making
other vocal sounds For some these vocalizations are soothing For others they’re a way or they’re a
way to block out overwhelming auditory input from the environment Echolalia the rep the repetition
of words or phrases heard from others um or from media is another form of vocal stimming that
can help with processing language or expressing emotions Now beyond movement and sound there
are also less talked about forms of stimming like visual stimming where someone might stare
at spinning objects or flick lights on and off Um tactile stimming involves touch like rubbing
c rubbing certain textures stroking hair or applying pressure to parts of the body That’s
why weighted blankets can be so calming for some people Auditory stemming could be listening
to the same song on loop Um stimming might mean repeatedly smelling a favorite scent Even taste
based stemming exists like chewing on non-food items or or licking objects It sounds weird
For people who stim orally chewable jewelry or sensory safe shoes can be a great alternative
Now every stim serves a purpose Well let’s talk about why people stim One of the biggest reasons
is sensory regulation Our brains are constantly processing input um light sound touch smell
movement For many neurodivergent people the volume on that input is turned up to 11 What
feels mildly mildly annoying to a neurotypical person can be completely overwhelming for some one
with sensory processing differences Stimming helps filter that chaos It can provide a predictable
controllable sensory experience in the midst of unpredictability If the world feels too loud
humming or covering the ears while rocking might help If it feels too dull spinning or hand
flopping can bring needed stimulation to wake up the nervous system Excuse me Stimming is also a
powerful emotional regul regulator It can help u manage stress anxiety anger or excitement Think
of it like a pressure valve It releases built up emotional energy in a safe and healthy way Without
accessing to without access to stimming emotions can spiral into shutdowns or meltdowns But with it
individuals can stay more balanced and in control And don’t forget the joy Steaming isn’t always
about managing discomfort Sometimes it’s about celebration Many autistic individuals flap
their hands or bounce when they’re happy It’s a raw beautiful and deeply honest It’s not it’s
not performative It’s how joy lives in the body and demands to be expressed Then there’s focus A
lot of people stem to help concentrate That’s why fidget toys have become so popular Not just for
neurodivergent people but for anyone who needs help anchoring their attention When your body is
doing something rhythmic rhythmic and predictable your brain can zero in on a task more easily
That’s why some students draw or doodle in class They’re not distracted They’re staying present
How about the way society often responds to stimming Even with growing awareness of
neurodiversity many forms of stimming especially those that are highly visible or audible
are still viewed through a lens of judgment Hand flapping rocking vocal repetitions or
echolalia are often seen as weird childish or even unprofessional These labels aren’t just
inaccurate they’re deeply harmful They create environments where neurodivergent individuals feel
pressured to suppress a natural and necessary part of themselves just to be accepted This societal
discomfort often leads to exclusion social isolation and even bullying particularly for
children in school in school settings or employees in traditional work environments Rather than
asking why a person is stimming people tend to focus on how to stop it That focus on correction
rather than understanding pushes many neuro neurodivergent people to begin masking Masking
is when someone hides or suppresses their natural behaviors including stimming They are suppressing
that in an effort to appear more neurotypical It might mean sitting perfectly still in
a classroom despite sensory overwhelm or biting the inside of one’s cheek instead of
using a calming fidget at work While masking might seem like a coping mechanism to to fit in
it often comes at a devastating psychological cost Now research and lived experience both show
that chronic masking leads to elevated stress levels mental exhaustion and burnout It creates
internal conflict as individuals constantly monitor themselves to avoid stigma over time It
can also result in identity confusion when when someone comes Yeah Now when someone becomes
so used to performing a socially acceptable version of themselves that they lose touch with
who they really are this is especially true for people who were diagnosed late in life and spent
years even decades masking without understanding why Please believe me I understand that clearly
In the worst cases this pressure to conform can lead to serious mental health challenges including
anxiety depression and suicidal ideation And for what To meet the arbitrary standards of normal
that were never designed to include everyone in the first place That’s why awareness and
education are not just helpful they’re critical It’s not enough to accept stimming in theory
We need to challenge the everyday attitudes of and biases that make people feel unsafe
being themselves Teachers need to recognize stimming as a tool for focus and regulation not
a distraction Employers must understand that someone tapping a pen pacing during a meeting or
using a sensory object isn’t being unprofessional They’re self-regulating so they can do their best
work Friends family um and co-workers all play a part in shaping an environment where stimming
is respected not ridiculed Stimming isn’t bad It isn’t rude It’s not something to be fixed or
managed out of or managed out of someone It’s part of how some people experience the world In fact
when we allow stimming to be visible without shame without judgment we send a powerful message that
authenticity matters more than conform conformity that people are valued not in spite of their
differences but because of them Ultimately our collective response um to stimming is a mirror It
reflects whether we’re truly building an inclusive society or just saying we are When we make room
for stimming we make room for people and that is always worth doing How to support stimming in
different settings So in schools for example children who stim should be allowed to do so as
long as it isn’t harming themselves or others Teachers can offer fidget tools sensory breaks or
quiet corners for students to regulate Explaining STEM to classmates could also reduce bullying
and foster empathy In the workplace employers can create neurodivergent friendly spaces with
flexible seating sensory tools or noise cancelling headphones Allowing stimming um doesn’t reduce
professionalism It enhances productivity and well-being At home families can make stimming
friendly zones with sensory objects quiet areas and open conversations Validating a child’s
a child’s stems builds trust and self-esteem It tells them you’re okay as you are Of course
not all stimming is harmless Some behaviors like um headbanging skin picking or biting can cause
physical harm In those cases it’s not about punishment or suppression but understanding
the root cause What’s triggering the stem Is it stress pain lack of sensory input Once that’s
identified caregivers and professionals can offer safe alternatives and therapeutic support Again
for those that have been watching long enough we always come to the final thoughts Um so stimming
isn’t just a behavior It’s a lifeline It’s comfort regulation joy and expression all rolled into
one For neurodivergent individuals it can mean the difference between distress and stability
between overwhelm and peace And for the rest of us it’s a powerful reminder that there is no single
right way to exist in this world For way too long we’ve misunderstood um policed and pathologized
behaviors we didn’t take the time to understand But the more we listen the more we learn and
unlearn the more clearly we begin to see stimming for what it truly is A language of the body a way
to respond to a world that often asks too much or makes too little sense A sign not only not of
dysfunction but of resilience adaptation and deep self-awareness Excuse me If we want to build
inclusive spaces whether in classrooms workplaces or everyday communities we need to start by making
space for stimming That means normalizing it not suppressing it supporting it not correcting it
and above all protecting every person’s right to be fully unapologetically themselves When we
support stimming we support mental health We reduce anxiety We encourage expression We create
environments where people don’t have to choose between fitting in and being themselves Because
when we allow people to move through the world in ways that feel natural to them we’re not just
accommodating differences we’re celebrating it And here’s the bigger picture Let’s take one
meaningful step toward a world where neuro diversity isn’t just accepted it’s embraced When
we embrace stimming we do more than just support neurodivergent individuals We challenge narrow
ideas about what’s normal We make room for a broader richer more compassionate understanding of
human behavior We open a door to authenticity to acceptance and to a society that doesn’t just
tolerate different differences but values it So next time you see someone flapping their
hands pacing in the hallway or humming softly to themselves take a moment instead of wondering
why are they doing that Ask what might they be feeling What do they need And how can I be
someone who helps them feel safe just being who they are So let stimming be seen Let it
be heard Let it be respected Because the truth is stimming isn’t strange It isn’t wrong It’s
human Thanks for watching If this video helped you see things a little different um give it a
like comment and a share Um yeah share it with someone who might need to hear this And don’t
forget to subscribe for more deep dives into neurodiversity mental health and the power of
understanding Let’s keep learning together and keep making the world a more inclusive place one
conversation at a time Until next time take care