Battered by Northern Europe (again) – Manchester to Marrakech Bike Tour: Ep. 3

Well here we are again – live, laugh, loving every minute of it, Jerry!

Maybe not EVERY minute… but ya’ know. Gotta keep your head up. Especially when in contact with an ostrich.

Couple air boxes. That’s all the gear review for today, folks. We’ve got wet hand. Oh, that was awful. How was that? It was woo. Can’t I can’t express how stupid this is. I have not before to get out of danger. So many bungee cars. This bike is held together by bungee cars. You have no excuses. Look at the state of this. And it’s going to mora. If we were living anymore right now, we’d be dead. We are living life to the maximum. There’s the restaurant. There’s us. It’s cold. It’s Callum. It’s cold. You spend a lot of money on food and I throw it all up. I show the cat, but I don’t think I will. A big pile of it right there. I had a banging headache all night and I threw up. And now I feel like on Oh, new man. A new man. New day. New day, new man. You do have to kind of ski around that for the rest of the morning. A little reminder. So on our first morning in France, the man told us while we were looking for water that there is always water at cemeteries in France. Probably already told you this, but this is now the third time that we’ve managed to use it. And it’s one of my favorite things about France so far. Brilliant. Brilliant. One more time. Oh, it’s still really sunny. It’s very nice. We’ve dried all our stuff in this park. Oh, it’s gear review time. We keep mentioning this. Absolute necessary to let you know. Oh, we have a new addition for this trip. Tupperware boxes. Oh, yes. Huh? Duh. the most useful thing you could possibly imagine. The lids, chopping boards, and the tubs are obviously tubs that you put things in. But for when it comes to meal time, we can cook some things, put it in the Tupperware, lid on, cook some other things, mix it all up, eat out of it, split it. It’s I can’t do two things at once. It’s absolutely fantastic. So, Tubware boxes, one this size and one this size. Say parfait. Par made life so much easier. Yeah, it’s a big win. That’s all the gear review for today, folks. That’s the most important thing on the whole tour. Oh, there’s a wasp stuck in a spider’s web. I’ve not seen that. Does it mean that I hope that it doesn’t get out? If we save this wasp, maybe all the wasps will leave us alone in future. I’ve saved it, but it’s still stuck. Oh, it has a puncture. No, I’m sorry, Wasp. I tried to save you. This is very exciting times. This is very exciting. Well, actually, no. No, it’s not cuz I have this tire also. I wanted it to be puncture proof forever. The amount of [ __ ] you have in your mud guard fix. Find the culprit. Thick boy. It’s big. I mean, next to my finger. A [ __ ] It’s on the floor. you ride over it like me. Only maybe a millimeter, 2 mm was actually showing on the inside of the tire. So, they are quite thick, these schwabs. Um, not sponsored, but if you do want to sponsor us, please do cuz I’m sick of my punctures. I’d love another Schwabby. Make a wish. Ah, I wish to never see you again. Oh, no. I’d go far away. Road clock. Unstoppable panic about keeps falling off at the back. So it keeps like sliding backwards. So like cuz of these uh joining points they come out of the little holes. Uh so what Callum’s ingeniously thought of is this bungee cord goes around wraps around the steering tube and back around. Does it is it all on your legs? Any uh petty puff all the way to Morocco. So many bungee cars. This bike is held together by a bungee cart. It’s brilliant. you. You have no excuses. Look at the state of this. And it’s going to Morocco. Hello. Oh, I feel like he’s going to knock us out. Yeah, he could jump this fence. Yeah, he’s definitely starting a fight right now. You’re a crazy dinosaur. Look at you. You all right? If there was no fencer, I think we’re done for. Yeah, we’d be shagged right now. I have noted an ostrich before. Get out of danger. I’ll do it again. Knotted an ostrich before. I have a strange history. I have to know what they’re thinking. They look daily. I don’t want to find out. All right, just arriving at the warm showers toast for tonight. I know next to nothing about this one. Oh my god. Is that Maron? What are you doing? I’m gardening. Where are we? This is the sponsored content. Don’t worry, it’s sponsored by us. The best two for one you’ll ever get. You might not have realized this, but we quite like camping and we love festivals, but we hate waste and festivals have a lot of waste. So, we decided to make some outdoor clothing out of it. And we know you like the outdoors. That’s right. you. We’ve been making loads of stuff out of old tents with plenty more on the way. So, check out our website at ww.reclaimetentwear.co.uk. Nice. Um, follow us on Instagram while you’re there cuz it really helps. Do it or else. Or else I’ll cycle to your house and I’ll make an advert out of you. How about that? Get him. No, take it. Okay. That was tasty here. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. Hi, it’s me. We’re in Belgium and we’re in a private woodland, but it’s very big and it’s very unlikely that anyone’s going to come across us. We’ve put up a double tap and put our tents under it and a chill area under it. It’s all quite nice really. Um, going to have spaghetti, hot dogs, pesto, and all the veg that we found on the ground. Good thing about setting up the double tarts last night. Not only packing down a dry tent, bra. Uh, you can chill under them in the morning. Today, we continue in Belgium. We go to France very briefly, maybe 10 minutes of France. Oh, we make the most of that. Another illegal wild camp in Belgium. And um then the next day, Luxmbourg hoping to find a warm showers host to host us. No barn yet. Zagaring. It’s there. What is this? Best way to find out is to take a bite. Yeah. Wow. Oh, I love it. I got the spot. That is the spot. The spot. It’s very This keeps happening. No good. No good. It’s very windy. We have many miles to do. Oh yeah. So I bid you farewell for now. Huh? We have traveled 6.6 Six miles since little and there 80 miles until Luxembourg. Ah, so you got 30 to do today pretty much. Pretty much. Okay. And it’s what time is it? It is Oh my god. No, it’s late. It’s late. Yeah, it’s quart to 4. Uh, [ __ ] [ __ ] How do we keep doing this? Long little, I guess. That was a big long little damn me, huh? Oh my god, we just did a big climb and right at the peak we met a bicycle car to coming the other way. We said bonjour. You say bon chance. So he wished us good luck. And then we came down the other side and I nearly died. I don’t know about you. I was getting wobbled all over by the wind. The wind was insane. up here and we were going real fast and cold. Uh it was almost like aquaplated. I felt like I was just get going like this across the road. Oh, it was very frightening. Loads more to come. It was terrifying. Weather has been relentless today. Not really give us a rest. And if we look ahead, we see that it carries on. There’s no sign of hope. No, anywhere other than within ourselves. It is the only place that we find hope in this uh Belgian countryside. Oh, for me. Hey, we are here at the garage and they have a a CL or a Tony Gosh. One of them worked and I got it. And this is all we need to fix the paner problem. What do you think? I’m pretty sure nothing would ever go wrong again. And that is not going to come out again. The same here. Yeah. Very loose. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know if we uh ever tighten this up when we put it on. No, we didn’t have the right. We had a tiny little [ __ ] spanninner that came with it. Oh, I was supposed to go to my unit and do it that night. We had like not very many hours to sort things out. The day before we actually set off and we decided to sit down and watch videos from the island trip for hours instead, which was nice. And all our tools were at the unit and we were at Adam’s house. So and I forgot. I completely forgot. I’m just remembering now. I was supposed to do that. We have not died yet. This is a big [ __ ] man. This is grim smoke. This is why we do it. It’s refreshing. It’s like a nice cold beer on a summer’s day. Ah, town. We are saved. Oh, that was awful. Oh, yeah. How was that? It was woo. Terrifyingly cold and also terrifyingly terrifying. Adam told me that he never really bothers filming when the weather’s bad. Yeah, cuz it’s well it’s a lot of effort and you kind of just want to get your head down and put on. Yeah. So, um putting in an effort to do lots of filming while the weather is so beautiful right now. Yeah. Hey, just so you know, if you can hear me, we’re going downhill, but the wind is so strong. We’re going 3 mph. It’s like the wind is an added layer of brakes, which is I guess good for someone like me. Airb. Yeah, my brakes not very good. I can’t even change gear. Wa. I’ve lost feeling in my fingers. And it’s actually painful. the uh rain hitting me on the face. A little more. And that difference is ridiculous. It’s now stopped raining. Well, it’s not stopped, but the side’s raining. These trees are saving us from it. And the wind fingers are cold. But I’m having fun. Woo. Are you? Yeah. Yeah. It’s just stupid. It’s miserable, but it’s good fun. It’s so stupid. And uh when we’ve set up camp tonight and we’re eating our curry and rice, the rice that’s on the menu, isn’t it? Rice from my phone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Phone. I love rice. The reek for the for the telephone. when we’re sat there and we’re under our taps and we’ve changed our clothes and we’re dry and we’re warm and we’re eating our curry. It’ll be okay. Yeah, this will matter. Okay. Who’s it? There’s this man here. Is it rolling? It’s rolling. There’s not a waterproof product in the world that could uh survive what we’ve been through today. No, except skin, which is the only thing we’ve got left. And even that’s not what it’s been one hell of a challenge. You know the saying like you love the slug. We love it. That was a proper slug. It still is. Naked, are you? No, it’s just taking the waterproofs off. Jesus. I’ve never been in so much I’ve never been in such constant aggressive, angry, angsty teenage rain for so long. That’s a really good way to describe it. Yeah, it was it was like a um a music video for a 2010 uh like a My Chemical Romance kind of music video kind of rain all day. Hard hard wind, hard rain. And usually when it rains all day, it doesn’t actually rain all day. Like there’s a few couple hours where it stops. It literally rained all day. We’ve got two tarps set up. We’ve just set up a tar tents. I’m in me warm stuff. Callum’s in the process of getting the warm stuff. He’s currently in the the skin stuff. This is better than having all that on. It was horrible, wasn’t it? It’s uh starting to shiver. Bad. Bad. Bad malman. We haven’t really eaten. We had lunch. We had We’ve only had one meal today. Big fat. Jesus Christ. Breakfast. And then that our breakfast was had the big little scran. Yeah, we just ate a bit of granola. Then we had loads of scran at little and then we didn’t really stop cuz it was raining. Wow. No wonder we’re so stupid and kind of everything’s a bit annoying as well. I’m just annoyed at the the weather. I think we need just need to eat. I feel okay a bit. But I’m glad that it’s happening to be honest. I’ve you know now we’ve been through this. Yeah. And we’re still going through this. So when it’s over we’ll have been through this. Yeah. I’m happy about that. And this has been this I’ve not had to struggle like this before. Yeah. So it’s something new. Adam was just saying that uh if life’s really [ __ ] at least we can make content. This is absolutely crazy. We can’t check the forecast, which I think is a good thing cuz neither of us have phones at the moment. We’ve got wet hand. We’ve got wet hands and wet ham. What more do you want? Oh, that’s why I went over there. And I’m getting my other coat. It’s cold. Can’t I can’t express how stupid this all is. It’s all so stupid. Oh, but it’s a [ __ ] It’s a right experience. Look at that. It’s so much rain. Why? Why? How is there so much rain in the air? Yeah, all day. Where’s it all coming from? Top tip. If you don’t have any pants, but you’re cold and you sat down, you can wrap your shirt around you like a little skirt. I think it’s ingenious. It might help one of you. I don’t know. But I’m warmer than I was, which is saying something. Really? Speaking of saying something, I don’t have anything to say. I’m too tired and confused. That is just absolutely filthy. It’s a filthy sandwich. We’re living life, boys. We are living the dream. If we were living anymore right now, we’d be dead. We are living life to the maximum. Just kidding. This is one thing we haven’t been able to improve is the the foot situation. Oh, the foot situation. I thought you were going to say the accent situation. Um, the accent. No, we speak in the accent because uh it kind of helps when speaking in French. We speaking like this all the time. It’s going completely wrong now. Anyway, we’re doing a lot of French accent speaking to one another in English, but it actually helps when speaking in French to the French people. Just imagine it’s been under the grill. Oh, the grill and uh the cheese is oozing like melted cheese does. Oh, good morning and welcome to my house. Your house? That’s my ass. My house. My house. My mis 8:00 and we have received a message from warm showers and we have a host. Hey, in Luxembourg City, that’s give us both the beans to get up, chuck our wet clothes on, chuck our wet shoes on, and pump out 65 miles today. Look at him. Look at him running towards the light like a firefly. I’ve never seen him move so fast. Give it to me. He went downhill yesterday. Hey, he was going 3 mph. Now he’s sprint. I sprint for the sun. It lives. Woo. I’m so excited to feel that sun on my feet. 65 miles to go. Get it. It’s steaming. The fly’s steaming. And there’s a nice big It’s okay. Ah [ __ ] I need my sunglasses immediately. Wow. This is a whole another world out here. Woo! Oh, how life is good, huh? We got started to rain while we was in Aldi. So, we put our rain stuff back on. Worst thing. It’s so cold. Absolutely awful. And we got 50 mi to go. It’s going to be a cold, wet day.