S1E5 Mental Health Matters with Dr Audrey Tang TOPIC: Invisible Illness
How do you explain your pain when people can’t see it? That’s true of invisible illness and mental ill health. This episode meets CryoHub Bedford, validating you, and helping you overcome.
The problem with being unwell when no-one believes you is that you might start not believing yourself. In this episode we were invited to CryoHub Bedford where John Atkins and Kaylen Wilson teach us about the benefits of cryotherapy, as well as the work they are doing to address the issues men face when it comes to speaking up about their mental health.
Join Dr Audrey Tang and Judith Crosier on Thursday 08:00PST/11:00EST/16:00GMT
Today’s show is hosted by
Dr Audrey Tang www.draudreyt.com @draudreyt
and Judith Crosier https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61556005102240
Guest Experts
John Atkins
https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-atkins/?originalSubdomain=uk
Kaylen Wilson
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaylen-wilson-715025244/?originalSubdomain=uk
Featuring CryoHub Bedford
https://cryohub-uk.com
https://www.facebook.com/cryohubbedford
https://www.instagram.com/cryohubbedfordltd/?ref=NO5BA53I
Hello and welcome to mental health matters with me Dr Audrey Tang it’s the show where we like taking a deep dive into all things mental health and well-being and today’s topic is chronic pain and invisible illness my guest host today is Judith crosier and we’ve had a fabulous day outside the
Studio Judith how are you doing today hello um I feel amazing absolutely amazing this is because we have been with cryohub today they are we’re based in Bedford and cryohub is a local cryogenic treatment Hub and this facility treats all kinds of aches and pains as well as Elite
Athletes but people like us we can go we we can go and we win and we did go but this really relates to today’s topic today’s topic is invisible illness and in particular chronic pain and that is something that cryohub treats but in terms of invisible
Illness I just wanted to sort of get your thoughts on on that feeling of how do you explain it when no one else can see it how do you get people to understand it’s it’s a very difficult thing and I’ve had personal experience of it and Friends experience it too and
If you have a condition that you can’t see then um it’s very easy to experience Prejudice again against against you and I know lots of people that have had long covid um I’ve been diagnosed with long covid and I and I hate even saying it because I know that so so many people
Think oh okay you know long covid or whatever but it’s but it is a real condition and it’s actually a very serious condition or it can be yes um and for me it it Peaks and troughs and I know when it’s going to be worse and I
Know how to improve it I’ve learned to manage it we’re nearly four years down the line now but it it’s a real thing and I actually lost friends over over it that’s awful because they didn’t understand or thought you see when people can’t see something or it’s not
In their landscape you you’re judged as being flaky or being oh you know it’s just just not good doesn’t feel like it yeah exactly so no it it it was a very difficult thing for me to understand why people reacted like that but first of all it was disbelief so back in March
2020 when I was diagnosed with Co so many friends just didn’t believe it not that they didn’t believe in Co per se but they just didn’t believe that you know I would have it because it was so awful and so new at the time and that’s then translated into into long covid and
So there have been times when I’ve made plans and had to councel them and hated having to do it but just physically couldn’t couldn’t do it and some people understand um but there are a few that don’t and and sort of relate it to that you know when you have an issue whether
It’s mental Al or emotional or an A diagnosed but invisible illness and enough people say oh oh you know you joking or I I don’t believe it do you start believing it you know you start thinking well am I do I have I yeah definitely raises question that’s awful
Yeah because some of my friends who I you know don’t really see anymore they’re intelligent people they people of you know of the world um worldly wise ET so you think well actually maybe there’s something in that um but when you have medical experts diagnose it and
Um and I don’t want to have it and that’s the annoying thing I don’t want to have it I’m not kind of you know wallowing in the fact that I have this thing and using it as an excuse yes now just pick to pick up on that there is a
Term it’s called mingering and this term has been around for a very very long time in business psychology and this is where people get an extra benefit of not of saying they’re sick so whether that benefit is oh oh you okay that kind of sympathy or the benefit is of course you
Can take this time off that time off that but that is a deliberate nefarious behavior that someone is doing when somebody is suffering from an invisible illness in particular and they are in pain or they’re struggling with their health they would much rather not have it well exactly and I haven’t taken in
The four years or nearly four years it’ll be four years in March I haven’t taken one day off sck because of it I’ve worked I’ve worked around it probably making yourself worse probably Pro probably but that’s you know that’s just me but um so that that’s the irony of it
Really and and it’s it’s it’s it’s frustrating but I’ve learned just to go with it just to think okay well that’s not my problem that’s their problem um I mean what would you want somebody to hear if if they you’re in a situation your friends saying they’ve got
Something and you can’t see it and you don’t understand it I mean what would you want that person to start just to get curious about about what would you say we you need to go out and just maybe read about it or learn about it so somebody that didn’t understand illness
Um yeah do some research maybe or just listen listen listen to that person whoever it is and and try and understand what they’re feeling um and and how their life is and with with Co and with long covid your life changes one minute you’re doing 10K runs which is what I
Did just before yes yes and then the next minute you know and and I I don’t dwell on it and I try and do what I could do before probably to my detriment like you said um but but just listening to that person and understanding how their their life has changed or their
Health has changed or their way thinking whatever it is it’s wanting to try and understand that person um and yeah doing doing separate research can help because then they see other people that they don’t know that maybe they will believe and finding an ally in exactly well as I
Said and you can see we’re in our well-being media Studio Jackets today because we’ve all been on location we’ve been filming with cryohub in Bedford they use cryogenic freezing therapy to treat a number of different illnesses and I’m going to hand you straight over to them because they are the best people
To tell you about their amazing Work hi I’m kayin your cryo practitioner that’ll be taking you through your treatments today wow this is our cryo chamber so this is the chamber that you’ll be in you’ll be stepping into this change room room changing room into the chamber for 3 minutes your treatment
Will be with what to expect to Inner sense of what to wear so when you’re going into the Cryer chamber for me you’re going to get down to where it will be underwear socks keep your socks on you wear a pair of our lovely Crocs got the Crocs before your session we
Always have Crocs and gloves the reason being to help protect the vital parts of where the coal goes to our hands and our toe tips as where the Cal goes a lot quicker so by having the Crocs having a pair of gloves we keep them hands and
Feet warm with it we have our changing room here for you so we have a changing room for you to get changed privacy has always remained throughout all of our sessions you’ll wear into one of our gowns as well once you get down to underwear for us you’ll be stepping in
With your gown so once you are changed you’ll come through you’ll enter our chamber into the chamber here for me you’ll Step Up onto the steps so you’ll be up on the steps here for me your arms will either be placed on your shoulders or under the armpits anyone that’s more
Comfortable it’s all for protecting the organs around the area around there where the cold travels a lot faster to around our area of the Torso a lot more than any other body part within that 3 minutes of you being here within your session I’m going to ask you to turn
Every 30 seconds giving me a quarterly turn so you’d be doing this for me and the whole 3 minutes you’re in the chamber for me every 30 seconds right until we we bring you right back around to the front for you so cryotherapy is a cold therapy it’s a cold therapy that is
Where it’s made to send your body into the thermal shock it’s where basically it’s chaos happening for 3 minutes your body goes into this invigoration of where it’s having to work hard regenerating new blood cells improving the circulation giving you that all around Wellness to your body if that
Means from down to your aches and pains down to your day-to-day Wellness down to people that just want to feel good we release something where when you go into the cold chamber it releases your endorphins it stimulates your endopin by the millions your adrenaline is rushing around your body it’s almost sending
Your body into this trick switch of where hang on a minute I’m having to fight for these three minutes to make sure I come out and I don’t mean physically where you’re going to fall I mean to a point of where your body is regenerating these new blood cells by
The mass by the millions and when you’re stepping out you’ve got this Euphoria feel this Rush of tingling sensation of where your body’s being regenerated reinvigorated it’s almost like having a reboot to the system and then you’re left with all these endorphins these endopin all the great feel to why cold
Therapy is great everybody’s different so we say to people if you’re coming here with a certain goal whether that be an injury management or if that’s something you’re trying to get on top of something to help us improve we always take every client as a different person because everybody’s different when
Treated with cryotherapy so for an example someone comes here with postoperation had a broken arm or an ankle swollen ankle spray ankle we would always say do a due course of treatments one treatment will definitely help you will feel that difference in a sense of the pain management but I
Wouldn’t say to you one session will be your answer to recovery we would say to you over a period of sessions where we’re able to get under control of that inflammation the swelling we’re able to process that recovery a lot quicker whereas if someone that was coming in
They want the all around Wellness they want to feel good Factor they want that kick and drive to their day I would say to you one to two times a month is more than enough for your day-to-day person even down to your average gym goers that is more than enough for
People so here are our compressions these are what work fantastically with the cold therapy the cold therapy does all the aiding in the the swelling the inflammation drawing out any fluid around the areas to where when you come into these compressions there’s no uncomfortability in a sense
Of when these go on these are called AR normat Tech socks and what these do is they act as basically where the lymphatic drainage they want to do to take away and bring back the good so by doing these the whole course of these so
You would put on a pair of our leg compressions I’ll explain these ones for you so with the leg compressions when you put these on they’re almost like a leg sock once you go into these they’re like having you come uh when you go to the doctors you have your blood pressure
Taken it goes tighter it squeezes that area so this is what our normat techs do but they do in a more optimized way so they’ll squeeze from the sole of your feet they’ll squeeze from the sole of your feet going into your calves up into your quads and your hamstrings with a
Whole optimized squeeze so when they’re squeezing they’re pushing any lactic acid any bad cellulars any kind of bad bad circulation is pushing that right back into the bloodstream up into our torso so like grabbing a roll of toothpaste from the bottom rolling it all the way up to the top poof right
Back into the bloodstream and this is how they help with aiding in the circulation of our body these are what they’re fantastic for a lot of our Superstars the footballers the boxers the athletes they all live and breathe for these especially with trying to get themselves back out onto that run again
Back out doing that sport again helping with them these are the ones for that so this is the local cry therapy and what this is is this is a therapy that’s very similar to the cold chamber but with this one it’s a more intricate and more
In depth it targets an area of where that injury is so if there’s a pain say if it’s your shoulder your shoulder is where you’re suffering with that pain normally inflammation doesn’t always just travel to that part of that area of where that is inflammation could be spread around that shoulder
Overcompensating or overuse of that muscle so by having the local cryotherapy with this it’s not a laser treatment this just pinpoints to where we extract the nitrogen this will Target that area for you and by doing that it stimulates of a more intense kind of course of cryotherapy where it gets into
To that area we work these from treatments take from up to 5 to 10 minutes depending on the size of the muscle if it’s a large area would say up to 10 minutes smaller areas between 3 to 5 minutes is more than enough for these treatments but this is fantastic for
Helping targeting your ankle injuries your sprained ankles your Twisted knees your meniscus anything down to ligaments cartilage these Target fantastically for helping with this so I would definitely notice yourself the more and the longer periods that you you do cryotherapy you tend to find that even down to your own
Performance your own ability your sleeping pattern your metabolism speeds up a lot more down to where you’re finding yourself the aches and pains become a lot less minimal you’re recovering a lot quicker you’re able to get back and do the things you like to
Do the things you love to do that a lot quicker and even do them to where you can take them up to a more higher level of the of performance so all with cryotherapy I reassure you doing it regularly and doing it more of often you become and notice them benefits a whole
Lot better to your lifestyle I just loved walking into that place it was just such a beautiful facility there was so warm and welcoming it was just so I can see why people open up and start talking about things and that’s something I just wanted to pull out first of all sometimes informal
Support is the best support whether it’s a safe space like this to discuss and we’d love to hear your comments in the comment section but what do you think about informal therapy compared to the formalized you go to a counselor and you sit and you talk and you what are your
Thoughts on that I think that there’s horses for courses but I think that the informal type of therapy um has you’ve broken down the barriers before you get there I think because you might not even know that you will benefit from therapy the the guys that the um at the CH Hub
You don’t go there for therapy as such but that’s what happens to some people and they were telling us um and I think that it’s less intimidating probably for a lot of people I think that’s absolutely right because now certainly in the UK they are doing things called
Well-being walks and it’s just simply it might be woman Le it may be male Le so at the moment there is the women’s well-being and men’s well-being and that’s okay because I think sometimes each gender needs a safe space on their own so it’s no problem with that or just
General well-being walks where everyone goes out together but that when you’re kind of you know like sitting in a car or you’re walking side by side it’s easier to talk cuz we’re not staring at each other yeah it’s it’s the intimidation or it’s the the fear or the
Just kind of build yourself up to talk to a person like that all goes away um and it it’s less threatening it’s just easier it’s more relaxing I think but yeah you’re right it’s the not staring at somebody else it’s just having somebody around that you can chat to you
Know I know because I come from the other side of it I I am a coach so I sit there and wait for someone to come and talk to me but you make a really good point about you build yourself up to talk to someone that’s a big deal isn’t
It is a big deal and I imagine it puts an awful lot of people off going for therapy because it’s it’s a massive hurdle to overcome and maybe once they’ve overcome it and gone through the door and realized you’re not scary hopefully yeah definitely um and that
They can get the help that they want that’s fine but if someone can’t overcome that big first hurdle it’s a it’s it’s a big thing then you get the problem of you’ve overcome the hurdle you’ve come face to face with someone and you just don’t have a rapport with
Them you just well that can happen get and that’s okay because that is something that it’s in your training that’s something that I was trained in I was trained in safeguarding I was trained in what if you don’t have a rapport or what if that person’s issues are triggering something in you yeah
Those things mean that that person is perhaps not the right person to talk to but of course you’ve gone through this whole process of psyching yourself up and getting there and then suddenly it almost feels like you have to start again that’s almost worse isn’t it I
Imagine yeah it would be for some people to have to overcome that a second time with the knowledge that the first time it maybe didn’t work yeah it’s a it’s a mindfield it is yes yeah but we do always recommend that if you don’t get on with that therapist you do not need
To stay with it you wouldn’t carry on taking a tablet if it didn’t suit you it’s the same thing it’s just a different style of treatment so please do ask for second opinions do shop around you are spending time and energy and finances so it’s important that that
You get the help that you need the other thing I wanted to to bring up here is when it comes to sort of that informal therapy I’m sure you will find this because you’re a good listener you’re a good friend people will speak with you and then you take on with the problem
Yes so you that’s that does happen um and and yeah it it can do and I I I tend to be one of these people not I do listen to people and I do take on their problems but I do it more with animals
So I’m one of these people that if I see on Facebook there’s a dog missing I’ll go out and look you know look or do whatever I can I take it all to heart and then I can f yeah I do that so I mean I know therapist you have
Counseling to to kind of counter that supervision yes yes we have supervision yeah um but but kind-hearted friends who are giving informal therapy wouldn’t necessarily do that so it’s something to it is it’s really important it’s about setting boundaries as well I mean so with that and you’ve already said you
Kind of know that you take it to heart you know you’re can what would you say your key tip for setting that boundary for yourself is go I don’t know I don’t know I know because I don’t even know if I do set my own boundaries I suppose I
Need to just make um uh a conscious decision to listen and to empathize um but but also to try and compartmentalize it you know so I I don’t take on someone else’s burdens I love that and the affirmation I like to use in my classes is I am a problem
Solver I’m not the solution and you say that all in one breath you breathe in you say I have a problem solv solution I like that one now Judith Judith you you had one well a number of the treatments at chir HUB we are going to find out how you got
On you’ve got your Crocs on your socks on your gloves on yes you’ve got no jewelry on no that means you are ready Jude what you going to experience I’d say for the first 10 to 15 seconds you you’re going to feel the nitrogen Circle in your torso
Nitrogen is naturally heavy than oxygen it always finds the lowest point of gravity so we’re going to start from the ground up so you’re going to feel it coming into your shins your calvs the front of your knees the back of your knees creeping up into your quads it’ll
Then rise up towards your torso at the moment as a human our natural shiver position is either like this or like this that’s why we’ve got you stood like that cuz you’re Gathering heat from your vital organs towards the end of the session we will be exposing your vital
Organs so we will ask you you to drop your arms and not until I tell you to though Jude I need your first quarter turn for me now please it’s fantastic your legs tend to find it a little bit colder anywhere else in the body the reason being your legs is half
Of your body you walked in the shop you’re going to walk out the shop so our legs kind of feel it sharp and tingly sensation they’re shaking yeah they will be shaking that’s absolutely fine your body’s gone into a thermal shock now so what that means your head’s sending
Signals to your body going Cy I’m freezing so what your body is doing is going into survival mode it’s producing millions and millions and millions of new blood cells by producing millions and millions of new blood cells Jude that rejuvenates your body draws inflammation swelling out of your body
You’ve come out of a thermal shock now that’s very quick well done I need another quarter turn to me now Jude you’re nearly come into your halfway mark you’re absolutely fantastic I ask every new customer this without saying your cold or freezing how do you feel um
Alive alive yeah that’s always a good thing that you’re alive that’s always a plus as in as in like you know kind ofing yeah I need you to go right around to the screen now Jude so all the way around you’re doing absolutely superb well done some people find the final
Minute a bit colder I think that’s just cuz they know it’s the final minute and they’re looking at the screen no it just feels colder right okay turn and face me what happens dude when you step out of the Chamber from up zero temperatures to room temperatures that’s when your endorphin surge through
Your body that’s where you’ll feel uplifted when your adrenaline gets released you’re doing absolutely fantastic we’re under 50 seconds now Jude like I spoke to you about earlier when we get to 10 seconds I’ll instruct you to drop your arms when you do you’re going to keep your hands pumping like
That for me by doing so we’re going to expose the vital organs to the cold initially the Cold’s going to come in a bit like but your body adapts it within two seconds before you know you’re freezing I’m getting you out okay doing fantastic we’re under 30 seconds now dud
Smashing it you doing really well you’ve been peeking between 120 and 135 the whole session which is absolutely bang on to put the body through its thermal shock you’re doing superb coming up to your 15 second Mark I’ll soon be instructing you to drop your hands you’re smiling that’s a good sign drop
Your hands on me Jude feel that coming a bit more to the to yeah everyone does that face you’re doing superb absolutely amazing chin up for me we don’t mess around when it’s time to get out okay I’m just going to slip this off your head I’m going to lower you down on
The ramp I’m then going to open the door 6 in just to let some niton out hand your gown and towel this is what we do we recommend you going on the bike this is just to bring you back to room temperature just to warm you up a bit quicker I feel well
Cold but only in specific places so like my elbows my knees generally I don’t feel cold but I can just feel the cold coming through here but um yeah just really buzzy and kind of like I don’t really know the the word part from zingy it’s probably what you’re imagining is
Probably worse than it actually is yes it’s really cold it’s freezing but um having John talking all the way through it really helped because I could focus on that um and yeah just get it give it a go so I’m just going to start this now for the
Cry faal I’m just going to preol so we always start the cryo local once it’s at that cold temperature I don’t want to be doing 30 seconds of having to build it up and pick it up so it gets to us so we want it nice and cold ready for when it goes
Okay so this is exactly like how John touched on with the whole body cryotherapy it sends the body into this shock so with this local cryofacial going onto your face it’s going to stimulate your collagen ducts to start promoting circulation and better blood circulation to the areas of our face where it’s being
Stimulated okay down fish you will definitely this one here here is a big big common very very much with the ladies with the women as well especially with the menopausal stage going through the menopause struggling with the collagen fantastic for helping with that and it’s a nonivasive treatment as well
There’s nothing enhancing or going into your skin or in your body it’s just cold nitrogen liquid that is just going around your face for you no chemicals no chemicals at all and these are brilliant for helping even with down to people that suffer with like CL the headaches people that
Suffer with tension around the face really fantastic for helping release that because what the cold does is it aids and helping with inflammation swelling tension anything around anywhere where the body is the cold can treat that oh my goodness Judith and you looked fabulous you could see that
Really really working now you did tell us on on our little recording as to how you felt immediately after and that was fantastic what are your thoughts now you’ve had a little bit of time to process and reflect and think about that wonderful experience it was wonderful
All three of the treatments were amazing in different ways um yeah I just feel I feel energized that’s the best way to explain it I just feel like a go I could go and do anything really I love that I love that now one thing that they spoke
About was that it can feel a little bit scary we we are three women here recording our producers female as well and we were all in there together but of course walking in there with two guys it can feel a little bit intimidating especially if you were a lone female now
These guys are amazing John and kayin they really think about that and they have a real awareness of of that perception and I know that’s something that really you felt came across really well yeah there were there were two two aspects to that two times when I felt
That one was when we literally walked in the door um the guys were really welcoming and really made us feel welcome uh and got you know talked to us and got to noce a little bit and that was really really lovely but the part where um I was in the chamber um where
You have to you know remove most of your clothing not all of it and you have to wear a robe and Etc and then and then you remove that when you’re inside um I felt the respect from John uh dealing with my treatment and he was um putting
Something over my head which I it would have been so easy for him to have seen into the chamber when I didn’t have very much on and he didn’t and I really felt the respect that he gave to me it was it was incredible the way that he did that
It was really really um noteworthy yeah and I actually think it’s that feeling that there’s such a positive supportive safe Vibe coming from that and I know that that may sound strange but some you get that energy and you get and sometimes you also trust
Your G when it isn’t right but it’s it’s so lovely in there and and you’re so right because this thing that was put on your head it covers everything covers everything and it just literally just went on and it yeah absolutely brilliant and they also have Muslim women they
Treat uh they they are very mindful of different religious needs and they have female therapists as well to support and I think that sort of awareness is is so essential and it we think it’s a matter of course it’s not is it no they really you can tell that they um maybe have
Learned it maybe it’s innate in them maybe it was natural I don’t know but you can tell that they really really make an effort to make everybody man or woman feel very welcome there but with female with with women there they’re really really respectful of the fact
That they’re men and we’re women and they don’t want to overstep any Mark yeah and I think this comes back to a point you made earlier in the show and that is that conscious effort to do something and this is where I think I get a bit cross with this sometimes
Because people sometimes go oh no we we make the effort and people don’t no you kind of got to consciously do that all the time sometimes yeah I think so you know so consciously just as a silly example here we’re live on air we try not to swear that’s one of the
Consciously yes yes conscious definitely and it’s it’s that awareness that I think we need to go about day to day when it comes to our interactions with people I mean how often has maybe even a throwaway comment or something that hasn’t even been meant actually kind of
Affected you have you had that sort of thing where someone said something you kind of think that’s a bit weird was that I mean yeah I think probably we all have and it it it yeah can make you like you do that that have that reaction um
And obviously we can’t be 100% conscious of what we say but but in in an environment like that definitely it comes very naturally to them and they’re very lovely and warm people but they must put that kind of e effort in when they walk through the door and and agree
They’re very they’re just the respect is there um yeah it was great and I think this is something which is important to note about trained therapists now they are therapists in their field and that training that you go through it is not your1 pound become a coach diploma type
Thing and a lot of it yes the psychology that’s been around forever but it’s the behaviors it’s the Rapport it’s the support it’s the signposting it’s the safeguarding all of that is really what that training is all about and and that’s that’s key and that really shines through John and kayin definitely yes
Absolutely and now in business Booth we’re going to stick with this topic of uh informal support and talk about toxic positivity now this is something which seems to have come through our society of late where there’s been so much in the well-being field that we often feel
I just can’t be sad I just I I can’t look sad because everyone’s telling me you know oh look for the Silver Lining it’s not that bad and this was happening before wellbeing came to the four there is a massive problem with this type of positivity and that is why
We call it toxic positivity so I’m going to just throw a question out there and I want you to just think of your immediate reaction a good friend comes up to you and they say to you oh I I’m just I’m so stupid I’m I’m just feeling so awful um
I’m really bad at everything I can’t do everything what’s your immediate reaction just take a minutes to think now before I did all the work that I’ve done my immediate reaction especially if it’s a friend is to make them feel better it’s immediately go Oh no you’re not you’re wonderful you’re so lovely
You’re so brilliant and then list all the things that they’re really really good at this is a problem this is a problem for leaders this is a problem for anyone who has opened up to with somebody saying you know I feel I feel awful because if you are dismissing
Their right to feel awful you actually not validating their right to have those negative sad feelings and unless we accept that those sad feelings are part of us no processing nothing can actually get done so whilst I know it comes from a place of love and whilst I know we’re
Trying to help and support other people one of the best things that we can actually do when somebody does open up is to say I’m really sorry to hear that tell me a bit more about it or why what’s going on ask the question validate their right to feel exactly as
They do because if you jump straight into no you’re amazing you’re lovely even though as I say it comes in place of love what you are doing is you are not giving them the right to feel sad and this is something we do need to think about being able to do we are
Allowed to feel sad it’s part of life we’re allowed to cry those things are really important so I wanted to give you a couple of tips the first is on listening when it comes to listening we make a few mistakes one of the mistakes we make and you might think maybe
Mentioned in the comments if this is you you’re so anxious about this conversation that you immediately are thinking what am I going to say what am I going to say next and that stops you listening to what that person is saying in the first place that’s one mistake
Another mistake is listening in order to pick holes or to criticize what’s someone’s saying or another favorite of mine is listening in order to make it about you so they have the problem Oh but me no I have this and I do this and and that doesn’t help either so those
Are some of the common mistakes that we make so so conversing to that what can we do about it well Julie star in coaching she says there’s a four levels of listening and it’s written in a pyramid in a triangle because that’s how much information gets taken in at the
Top of this triangle is hearing and hearing is where someone’s talking to you and you’re going yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and that’s it that’s the amount of information you’ve taken in you can’t remember anything about that conversation listening is the next level down and listening you get a little bit
More listening is the sort of thing that my husband is able to say to me when I say what did I just say and he can actually repeat the last little line that’s listening you get a little bit more information not loads more but then you get into the more important part
Active listening that’s the third bit down and active listening is where you engage with the person you ask questions and and this is a tip for the anxious listeners if you don’t know what to say paraphrase back what the person said so they’re telling you oh I feel awful you
Can say that’s that’s really sad what are you feeling awful about or oh you’re saying you’re feeling really awful what’s going on and they will often use that to springboard and say more so if you if you’re stuck for asking questions the open who what where why when and how
Those sorts of questions then paraphrase back that can really help and another cheeky little tip there is if you are trying to make sure you’ve understood someone properly paraphrasing is a really good thing have I got this let me tell you what you’ve said just to make
Sure I’ve got it right the last one not all of us need to worry about this is deep listening and this is what happens where it’s usually coaches counselors uh it might be managers who use a coaching style and this is listening with your eyes as well as your ears and that is
Listening for when somebody changes their body language or suddenly they start doing something strange or or there’s a change from the Baseline because that often means they’re talking or going to say something that they haven’t really processed and thought through and if you pull that thread a
Little bit longer you get a little bit more in that conversation and now we’re going to go back to cryohub because we had a really wonderful opportunity to speak with kayn about the topic of men’s mental health this is an issue that I well we all care
A lot about it is very difficult to get people especially men to talk about what’s going on as ma do you have those insights or what helps your clients up so massively I feel like like we said touching on being approachable people being a able for people to feel comfortable and warm
And from there becoming M and John’s infectious ways of whether that’s popping a little joke to yourself or having that laugh with you when you step into here it’s a thing of like right forget everything that’s going on outside and in the world you know how
Are you how are you as a person and more so with that if it means that when we’re doing these treatments it’s always that conversation of it’s all about you what are you doing today where are we going from here today you know is your plan is
It to go for that walk or is it to go for the go for where you’re at home you go home what is it that helps in a sense of with yourself more than just of what we’re doing for you it’s how are you helping yourself as well this is
Incredible and you contain a lot of people’s anxieties you know they come in and they in a way are able to unload but that also means you have to look after your own mental health and well so can you tell me a little bit about how the
Hub has helped you as well so the Hub is massive when um John introduced me to the cryotherapy it was more than just a side of physical where I was going through an injury stage it had helped suppress the stress and depression that come with the fact that I couldn’t do
The sports that I enjoy I couldn’t play the football that I loved and coming from a mental side of the mental health side of things I’ve lost a brother in the past of the age of 25 due to the mental health issues so for me it’s a
Big thing for me when I done the cry therapy it helped me massive in my journey of suppressing that depression that anxiety that feel of feeling like I didn’t I couldn’t be around anyone I couldn’t be myself and by having the cry therapy and being a person that was able
To be approachable I was able to discuss these things a lot easier and a lot more open around people still to this day now that is a very Hot Topic on my mind that I’m very very open in a sense of this situation which I hope to aim where most
Men especially with the stigma of men being that you know we can’t talk we can’t cry we can’t shed our feelings to amongst each other whether that be a stranger in the street whether that be your wife whether that be your your best friend you know breaking that stigma and
Having the cry therapy at that time when I was going through that space that mental space of where I was struggling having the cryotherapy was one of the biggest game changers and hence the why myself and John are so passionate about this business because it’s more than
Just what we provide yes and I think also you’re doing something very important for a lot of people because one of the key issues that we see and this is same with mental and emotional pain and chronic pain which you may not see physically is you get to a point
Where you’re feeling it it’s really affecting you it may be affecting you bodily it might be you might be hunched over more which is causing more pain but because other people don’t see it they don’t understand it understand it fantastic so so if I if I say to you
Definitely that is something is a Hot Topic that we deal with a lot of ladies that and gentlemen that suffer with these chronic illnesses in silence you know to the face and to the paint of a picture they look happy they look good but behind that and when you peel it
Back there is somebody in there that is suffering somebody that you know they get to a point in life where they almost just get on with it and accept it you know they don’t speak amongst this because you can’t see it you can’t feel it it’s almost like when they say this
It’s like oh you exaggerating that or is it really that kind of pain but we see that from a lot of people and I see that from a lot from a family perspective of people that suffer with chronic pains and chronic illnesses and you would look
At them and think you know what you look lovely you know but inside there there is somebody that is suffering in Silence with this kind of chronic illness to themselves and so what you do is is just even more important because of that what would be
Your words of advice to somebody who is suffering in that way whether it be mental whether it’s chronic whether it’s emotional pain that they have and they don’t feel able to express it in a formal setting or something like that what would you what might you say to
Them I would say to definitely from people from my own personal experience of not from being in it aligned with chronic pain I haven’t I’m not a sufferer of that but I can relate to the people we deal with and the people that I have spoken to and seen in my life
That suffer with that side of things but I always say to people when going through something or suffering with something and you find it hard to either conversate or communicate with somebody sometimes even just writing these things down yourself you know finding that time that space to yourself pen and paper
What is on your mind what is it the things that are really getting underneath you you know are these things that you can put onto paper and maybe you could express it a lot better amongst people around you I know that communication is a very hard thing and a
Big stigma to a lot of people you know you feel like you’re almost a burden to somebody you put this on to somebody else but really and truly there are people out there that I would love to help and love to actually hear that sign
Of things of where if they could help or even just to listen to I did find with myself with learning it I had to crack myself out of that shell and be very spoken about it be very communicative about it to the right people to the
People you feel that you know the people that deeply care for you be very vocal with it because if somebody knows that you’re suffering in silence or doesn’t know nobody knows how to treat or how to take that amongst with Yourself it was really enlightening and moving speaking to kayin because he’s been through so much and he’s been able to channel that really positively but sort of staying on brand and on theme for today’s show when we talk about channeling and moving through things it’s not a case of forget
It all and it’s all in the background it you are processing that every single day and I think that’s something it’s important to to make clear to our viewers that when we talk about moving on with our lives it’s you’re you’re moving on with your life almost from a
Different starting point Point you’re moving on from where that experience has already made a huge change and do you think we we miss understand sometimes this whole oh you know move forward go and it’s like those phrases going forward moving on yeah I don’t like those phrases no I think um phrases like
Yeah moving on you need to get past it etc etc it it gives people I think a lot of people who I know who have been grieving um for example find that difficult because they say things like I should be okay by now I should be past this by now and you’re
Never going to be past it if you lose someone you love that’s going to stay with you forever yeah you just have to learn how to live life differently and and and just assimilate it into your life yes exactly so for me it’s not like carrying on this and
Moving forward it’s about almost going here that’s the event and you go along and then you carry on life but with that event with that as part of you exact and and there’s nothing wrong with that I think that’s important for us to to recognize I think I like to end the show
With a couple of sort of key takeaways that you’ve you’ve taken with you um so I think for me today’s show has been about always remaining curious cuz you don’t know what anyone’s going through whether it’s physically with invisible illness or pain whether it’s mentally or emotionally or whether it’s something
That’s just happened to them in the recent past and we have no right to tell people how to think or project our thoughts or feelings onto them I think that’s that’s something I’ve taken from today’s show what what have you taken away from today yeah I agree it’s it’s
To as you said before to validate the feeling I mean once I was walking along the road I was in my early 20s and a build a shouted cheer up love it might never happen and he what he didn’t know was that that morning my cat had died so
So that just kind of said to me well you know he’s got no right to tell me that and he wouldn’t have had a right to tell me that even if nothing bad had happened because it might have just been my natural expression he didn’t know me but
Yeah it’s to try and keep in mind that people have stuff going on and you never know what that is whether it’s physical pain that they’re dealing with all the time or whether it’s something that’s happened yeah and I think that’s a great
Note to to end on so if you’d like us to discuss any Topics in mental health matters as you know you’ve got access to a whole host of wonderful wonderful experts do drop us a line Studio wellbeing media.org from Judith and myself have a healthy Week a